Have you ever felt like you've had an out-of-body experience? That's exactly what I felt as I was walking to the table where Mark stood. I felt like I could see all the people in the room watching me. I could see myself making slow, tentative steps as if I was walking on eggshells. I got to the table after what seemed like hours, relieved that I hadn't fainted from nerves in the aisle. Mark took my hand and brought an extra chair for himself, sitting me down between himself and Bryan.

As soon as I appeared on camera, there was an eruption from the crowd outside, who could see the whole thing on screens outside the conference hall. I wanted to run. Run out of that room, that building, that life. I couldn't handle it. I felt like screaming at the fans outside to shut up, tell them to leave me alone. And the reporters, well, what wouldn't I like to say to them?!

Both Bryan and Mark sensed the tension, and each took hold of one of my hands, and held it tight. The reporters pounced on me the minute I sat down, like vultures flocking to a dead animal, sensing my obvious nerves.
"What do you make of all this attention..."
"Do you ever wish you could just go back to being normal..."
"Do you feel that you're taking the band member/fan relationship too far..."
"Are you just going out with him for the publicity..." Were all shouted out at once, along with others I was too shocked to take in. All the flashes of the cameras were making me dizzy. I could feel my head beginning to spin, Mark's face began to grow increasingly blurred.
"Are you a'right?" He whispered. I couldn't speak, I had enough in me just to shake my head. Mark stood up. "Can we get a glass o' water here please?" There was a distinct murmur in the room, as well as outside while the requested water was brought to the table by one of the security guards.

...outside in the crowd...

Outside Lisa, Clare, Ally and Jenni were... 'assessing the situation'. "Personally..." Started Lisa. Her friends looked at each other thinking 'Oh no, here we go'.
"I don't see what their problem is - Rainey's dead nice, she's never done anythin' to them, why the hell are they treatin' her the way they'd treat their shoe if they'd just stepped in summat horrible?" The reply she got was that of three shrugs. They didn't know why either.

They looked at the screen and saw me sitting beside Mark and Bryan looking slightly less than well. "Oh God, she's about to faint, look" Jenni looked on at her friend, while the other girls in the crowd started to scream and shout, no doubt obscenities at the screens.

"Oh, someone's about to feel the girl power on the end of my fist" Lisa muttered as she started to walk towards the nearest screaming girl. Thankfully, Clare and Ally had heard her, and each grabbed an arm to stop her from doing something she may regret later...though probably much, much later.
"Don't Lis, we don't want you getting arrested or summat daft like that, what would your mam say?"
"Clare, don't be so bloody melodramatic. My ma's always tellin' me I need to believe in stuff and fight for what I believe in. I believe that Rainey and Mark are... well...made for each other, so I'm sticking up for 'em."
"But violence ain't the way Lis...you should know that - you did almost get that girl in the airport - it's not the way to go."
"AND, adding to Ally's pretty practical reason not to get your face smashed in by all this lot, there's the fact that...well...you're hair'll get messed up...and that is NOT good"
"That's true Jenni...what would I do without you?"
"Go to the hairdressers more often for new wigs 'cos some fans kept ripping your hair out?" Lisa doubled over with laughter, her urge to kick butt suddenly gone.
"Okay, seriously, Rainey's not looking well" Jenni drew the girls' attentions back to the screens where Mark was standing asking for water and Bryan had his arms draped around my shoulder, dipping my head down to get the blood circulating again.

...back inside...

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have made you come up here, this is my fault." Mark took my hand and squeezed it.
"Don't be sorry, you only wanted them to see me as a normal human being... I don't think you can get any more human than this. You did it for us." I gave him the best smile I could. "I'll be fine, don't worry"

"Are you ready to answer the questions now?" One of the security guys asked me. "Umm...yeah, ready as I'll ever be" I held Mark's had tight and hoped for the best as the questions started coming.