Mark came back from Asia the day before our 3-month anniversary alone, leaving the other four guys doing promotion for their first album. He'd come home to see me against the wishes of the others and Ronan...but they knew how much he cared for me, so they let him go, it was only for one day anyway, the others were coming home to do a press conference in London the following afternoon.

When he came to my house, after flying from Asia to Sligo, then Sligo to Edinburgh, I was vegging out in front of the TV, munching on some popcorn wearing tracksuit bottoms and a strappy top with my hair in a very messy bun. It was the first time I'd seen him in person for a month. I opened the door and flung myself into his arms.

"Oh Lorraine, I missed you so much, I had to come home early, I had to see yous, it's been driving me crazy, the photo of us together beside my hotel room bed doesn't even begin to compare to actually holding you in my arms"

"I've missed you so much too, you wouldn't believe!" We stayed like that for a good five minutes, not caring that my neighbours were walking down the street staring at us (my street's a cul-de-sac, you know, a street that doesn't have an end, it just goes round and round back the way it came - like in Brookside and Neighbours).

We spent hours on my sofa, doing nothing but holding each other. Because we were so in love, we didn't need to be always talking, our silences weren't uncomfortable, they were full of ease, understanding and silent confessions of undying love.
"Just remember that I love you, nothing else matters"
"I know Mark...I love you too, it's just so hard to take, y'know. I don't know how long I can keep this up, the smile I put on every time someone shouts out something to me in school, or whenever I read something in a magazine...that smile's beginning to fade, I don't know if I can handle it much longer"

The look on Mark's face was heartbreaking.

"You don't mean that, surely?? Please tell me you don't mean it" He looked as if he was about to cry. "Please don't look at me like that Mark...it's hard enough to tell you as it is"

"But...I thought we were so happy together" that mischievous twinkle in his deep blue eyes that I fell in love with was disappearing fast.
"I am happy when I'm with you. It's like you said, whenever we're together, nobody can hurt us. But we're not together all the time, and that's the hardest time. That's when I get the prank calls, that's when I get people sending me the most hate mail, that's when I get people ringing my doorbell and running away. The only thing I can do then is to call you...and even though you make me feel so much better just by saying hello...it's not the same as having you hold me close and telling me you love me, like you are now" Mark grew silent, tightening his hold on me, like a child clutching to their favourite teddy bear or security blanket.

I think I was Mark's security...the one thing that he could be sure of. In the band, there were so many thing that were uncertain - whether their singles would do well, whether the fans would stay true to them...especially after the news about me came out...I was really the only thing that he could rely on, that I would always love him for the rest of my life and his.

"Right. I'm going to put an end to all this hatred. Absolutely no one deserves this kind of hostility, especially you. You're my angel. You've done nothing wrong, just fallen in love. That's not a crime. That's what I'm going to tell them tomorrow, I'm not going to lose the best thing that ever happened to me just because a couple of people are jealous"

I looked at him very curiously. "What do you mean?"
"Tomorrow at the press conference, I'm going to give a message to the fans"
"Are you sure that's a good idea? What if it makes the situation worse...what would happen if it had the reverse affect...what about your career?"
"I don't care about that...I care about you"
"What about the guys...don't you care about them?"
"They know how much I love you...they'd understand. And each and every one of them is capable of having a solo career, they don't need me"
"What about your career - you have such an amazing voice, if you do this tomorrow, and the fans turn against you...it would be terrible if you tried a solo career, they'd all remember what you said and not buy your records...it would be such a waste of the talent you've been given"

"Don't worry yourself about it, I won't be nasty, it'll be okay. You worry too much, it's cute, but you don't need to. Come to London with me and the guys tomorrow"
"What?!"
"Come to London - show the fans you're not the ogre they've made you out to be, show them you're the caring, loving, friendly, nice person I've come to know and love. They'll understand"
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. Will you come?"

I thought for a minute. What would my friends (or ex-friends) say? Or my friends on the Internet...or the fans that have been sending me hate mail? Was I ready for it? Was I ready for the cameras? Mark looked at me, searching my face for an answer. "Okay...I'll go to London"

"Great! It'll all work out, I know it will" He held me closer and kissed me, his soft lips caressing mine. I prayed to whatever force there was out there controlling the situation that everything would turn out okay.