I woke up next to Kian in the morning. I wondered why I was in bed with him and why he was holding me. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Both of the dreams I had had. They made me remember. Made me remember everything. It was so clear now.
I remembered being at the party with Travis. I moved away from him for a second to go and talk to Amy. Everything was going great until that one little comment made by her. "I’d kill for a boyfriend like Travis," she said. Those seven words terrified me now. They were so insignificant then. If only I would have listened to them a little more closely before. Something made me want a Pepsi.
"I’m thirsty. I’m gonna go get a pop," I said.
"Oh. Here. I got you one already."
Why didn’t I think? I just thought it was a nice gesture. And I remembered getting a little dizzy and fell over. Blackness surrounded me and that was the last I recall until waking up here.
I flipped out last night when everything came together. Kian was there to catch me when I was about to crumble. I was so shocked that Amy had tried to kill me, but somehow Tiffanie was involved too. I didn’t know how, but I figured that I would soon come to a conclusion on that one.
I remembered him telling me not to cry last night and his strong arms around me. I felt so safe and so loved. It seemed like we connected in some way more than met the eye. He was there for me, and he basically didn’t know me from crap. I was so comfortable lying there next to him. It would have been weird being in bed with a strange guy that I didn’t even know. But with him, it was different. I could hear him snoring lightly next to me. I don’t think that I’ve felt this close to Travis ever in our two years together. I’m not saying the relationship was bad. But this was an unreal feeling.
I was lost in thought and his eyelids flittered open staring at me with his deep blues. He pulled me closer to him.
"You were a state last night. Are you ok now?" he asked me.
"Yeah. I think so. It scared me so bad. I know that’s what happened, Ki."
"You’re sure?"
"Yeah."
"Well, what’re we going to do today?"
Such options in this place. I think I would’ve been content lying there all day with him holding me.
"Thank you so much for last night. For being there for me."
"Oh, no problem. I couldn’t let you stay over there and cry your eyes out."
"Thanks, though really."
He leaned in closer to me and I thought he was going to kiss me. His lips met mine and I felt his tongue enter my mouth. I expected it to be a quick smooch but it was far more than that. Our lips parted and I saw some apprehension in his eyes. Like he wished he wouldn’t have done it. I smiled at him and he smiled back at me relieved.
I got up and walked to the window.

Early in the mornin’ when I wake up I look like KISS but without the makeup And that’s a good line to take it to the bridge and ya know and ya know ‘cause my life’s a mess
I’m tryin’ to grow
So before I’m old I’ll confess
You think that I’m strong
You’re wrong, you’re wrong
I’ll sing my song, my song.

Robbie Williams’ lyrics rang in my head. I was probably the last person that everyone thought would end up here. I never thought I’d be here. Ever. In my entire life I never would have predicted this. This wasn’t my fault. They tried to kill me and make it look like I did it to myself. I really didn’t want to think of any of this. I wanted to try and get it out of my mind. I wanted to run from it. Run from this place. The only thing that I didn’t want rid of was Kian. I didn’t want to be trapped in this room anymore. I wanted to be back to normal. Back to my family. Back to my home. I didn’t want to see my friends. I really didn’t want to see Travis either even though he didn’t have anything to do with what happened. Maybe if he wouldn’t have asked me to go to that party with him, I never would have been here.
There was a bright side to all of this. Kian. He was the only thing that kept me sane, if that was possible.
I decided to go get a shower and get dressed. I came back to the room to find Kian gone. He came in about five minutes after me.
I realized that I still didn’t know why he was here. Really that wasn’t important now. It didn’t matter to me anyway.
Another thing that came to me was if I should say something about these dreams in one of my sessions with the doctors. Should I say that Amy tried to kill me? Maybe one of them would slip up and then I would get out of here. One slip of the tongue and it would be all over for them both. Tiffanie was never one to keep her mouth shut. She’d tell someone eventually. Or maybe there was someone else out there that knew what went on that night. I didn’t remember anyone being around then, but I hadn’t thought of a lot of the other stuff before either.
So many questions. So few answers.