| In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods |
| On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) |
| On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) |
| On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) |
| On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down. (printed on bottom of the box) (Too late! You lose!) (I love it: food to piss you off.) |
| On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure??? Let's experiment.) |
| On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) |
| On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.) |
| On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!) |
| On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children. (Or pets! What's for dinner?) |
| On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.) (Or underground?) |
| On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.) |
| On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (Not to mention the nut who wrote the warning ) |
| On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. |
| On a childs superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!) |
| the troubled human race |