The Writers' Corner ~ Flat-foot Flugent With The Fuglehorn

The nice thing about making up words is that we can make up the definitions too.
Flugent, adj {German:Vlogel: bird} Floating like a bird on the winds.

This is the story of Flat-foot Flugent with the floy-floy. Flelix Flugent, as a boy, loved to watch the birds sailing on the breezes. In his mind’s ear, he could hear them flying. Flugie, as he was known to his friends, could hear many things that no one else could hear. He could hear flowers, with their soft violin voices, and trees with their deep bass tones. Best of all, he loved the vultures with their flugelhorn notes. The vultures rode flugently on the thermals. Flugie was flat footed, so he could not join the armed services after high school. He vowed to capture the sounds that he heard with musical instruments. He received a scholarship to the South Hackensack Technical School of Flugelhorns, and Other Instruments of Torture, though he was unable to demonstrate any musical talents. After years of practice, he mastered many instruments. He could play the flute, emulating sea birds. The tuba was the rocky mountains. The vultures on the flugelhorn, however, still escaped him. That was the sound he wanted to achieve. One day, a visiting flugelhornist from Kyrghistan arrived at the South Hackensack Technical School. He explained his problem to the visiting flugelhornist. The Professor Floy thought that Flugie was more than a little bit off the deep end, but showed him a little known fingering technique that he had developed, known as the floy. Flugie could almost hear the vultures when he employed that technique. He worked at it, and developed his own fingering technique, that he called the double floy, or the floy-floy. Finally, Flugie heard with his ears what he had been hearing in his mind’s ear: the sound of flugent vultures.

Flat Foot Flugent with the Floy-floy and the flugelhorn went off to the nearest mountaintop to greet his friends, the vultures. He had created his masterpiece, the Flugent Fugue for Flugelhorn! On the mountain precipice atop Flying Fern Knoll, he took the flugelhorn from its case. The vultures, and a few confused flamingos, were riding on the thermals below him. He played his horn, finally reaching the finishing crescendo as the birds rose above him. As at a signal (Perhaps it was the F sharp?), the birds turned toward him as a ferocious flock of flugent felines “Dinner bell”, exclaimed Victor Vulture. They knocked Flugie from the precipice onto the rocks below. His shattered bones were soon picked clean. The battered flugelhorn came to rest in a crevice. The only copy of the sheet music for Flugent Fugue for Flugelhorn blew flugently upon the winds. This was, perhaps, fortunate.