At least, that is how a lot of guys see it. Why they think that pawing through packages of ground meat is such a thrill that only women can do it?? And when we send them to the supermarket, and they paw through the ground meat...they come home with combos of ground turkey mixed with ground lamb and ground pork. Is this a way to keep them from having to go on a more frequent basis? If it isn't, it should be.

Do we send them with a list or not? Depends on how much disaster you can handle in your life. When I write, "DD or CD" I mean Dish detergent or Clothes detergent. He comes home with Dunkin Donuts and The new 'Fleetwood Mac' Compact Disc. After I finish the cruller and listen to the CD, I will go back to the store for the Dawn and the Tide.

I make lists for myself as I go. When I am in the kitchen I make a list of the stuff I need for the kitchen, not just food but stuff. I can remember that I need Brillo and some of those things you only buy maybe once a year like a box of salt or a jar of hot mustard.

When I go in the bathroom, to meditate, of course, I will make the bathroom list. Low on TeePee, will make sure that I stock up on that.

Scouring powder---Pffft! Do I really NEED that? There are all these great spray cleaners that seem to be nicer than leaning over the tub and snorting Bab-O. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do about painting the bathroom ceiling which is showing rust spots on it's stamped tin. No, not put in to give it that historic feeling---This sucker is Historic! Maybe I'll look for a new shower curtain to give me the impetus to scrape that ceiling and paint it and maybe get that bathroom finished, (after 8-9 years of hating it.) Well, now that I am upstairs I can look around and see what else I need for the list.

What I refer to as the 'Craft Room' and He refers to as the 'Junk Room' shows a definite need for black thread. I have needed black thread for at least a year and have been using navy blue for black. I can justify the strange look of it if I have to. Now I notice I am almost out of navy blue. I do have about 40 spools of red though. I can't remember needing red for anything. I don't wear red, He has no red, but I could probably weave all the red thread and make a king size bedspread and matching curtains. Put that on the list of things to do when supremely bored.

As I wander through the house and make lists inspired by the percieved needs in each room, I do notice that there are things I really never needed but I seem to have purchased in bulk. 40 watt lightbulbs.......I need none of them. I must've had a uncontrollable urge to buy them though. The top shelf of the linen closet is filled with them. (I find out later that my Troll has been using them to replace burned out ones in the cellar, just as I was becoming convinced that my eyesight was going.)

I have found 4 color ink cartridges in my underwear drawer. Don't ask me to explain the thought processes involved in that! I still need black ones---Not underwear, ink cartridges! Now I make another list of places where I have to go to get the stuff I have on the other lists. Wal-Mart is for the paper goods and maybe the light bulbs and the ink cartridges........Whoops! almost forgot the black thread and the navy blue thread. I'll get them there probably. I can look at shower curtains there too. Then I'll hit the supermarket for the food stuff. Or will I? Nope, I have to hit the paint store before I do that. I have to make sure that the last things I buy won't melt. Ice Cream don't look tasty after it's dissolved in to sludge.

Alrighty then! I get into the car........I get out of the car and go back into the house, I find my purse and get back into the car. I start it up and pull out of the driveway and see the tank is almost empty. The gas station is right next to the supermarket and if I go there first I will wind up doing that large circle thing. If I don't get gas, will I have enough to make all the stops I have planned? Have I done this before? Oh.....That's right! That was the time I found out I forgot the renew the AAA club card. I'll make the large circle with a full tank of gas.

If you were to meet me when I return and help me carry my stuff into the house, you would be puzzled. If you MUST know, I couldn't find my d**ned LISTS! Yes!!!! I bought more red thread and more 40 watt lightbulbs. I did buy a shower curtain with ducks on it. I don't know why...........I hate ducks!!






~ © SWAMPETTA (SWAMPETTA@aol.com) ~


November 12, 2003




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Dear Mr. President

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When Santa Was A Boy

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