When I pulled up in my truck,
I saw that other guy duck.
Wifey says, "I'm all alone!"
I said, "You are, because I'm gone!"
I went down to the bar and grill
And sat right down to drink my fill.
The cutest girl I've ever seen,
Said, "Hi Handsome! Where've you been?"
She sat down there next to me.
Said, "You're just what I need to see."
"I hope you don't think I'm a floozy,
"I get like this when I'm feeling boozy."
I stared at her, sure is sweet.
Bought us some whiskey, neat.
Raised our glasses in a toast,
"Little Sugar, you're the most!"
We danced and kissed,
And then we hugged.
"Come home with me?" She just shrugged.
"I guess I will, I need some life.
"By the way, you got a wife?"
"I got a truck, a dog, a gun.
"Now I need a little fun."
No wife right now, none, no more.
Not after what I seen in the door."
We get in the truck, go down the street
"Here we go, my little sweet!
I pull in the old motel.
The one they call the "Never Tell."
She looks at me, says "Hold it Swifty!
"This is gonna cost you fifty."
Now I'm all beered up and feeling frisky.
Shouldn't have drank all that whiskey.
"Whoops!" I think, "Money's short.
"Shouldn't have got that extra quart."
"Sweet thing, I just wanna please ya.
"Can I put this on my Visa?"
She slams the door and stomps away.
I guess this just ain't my day.
Now I got a broken heart,
And even worse, the truck won't start.
Guess I'll go home to the old lady.
Even though she's acting shady.
She ain't cute, she's being shifty
But she never charged me FIFTY!