LAUGH-O-METER SAYS: 9
Oh man, as of now, this is the best movie we've seen. It's funny the WHOLE way, 90 minutes of PURE 100% GRADE A CHEESE. Its about this guy Anwar Namtut, who is some psycho who gets his nephews to worship Shintar some Lumarian goddess.Right before Anwars death he passes on some family jewels(heh) and some "words of wisdom" about Lumarians. Anwar is killed and 20 years later his nephews dig up his body, and they split his skull open, and his brain shoots out about 15 feet in the air. Then they put his brain in a jar and suddenly Anwar has eyes and a tongue and can talk, but hes a brain in a jar. Anwar then instructs his nephews on how to ressurect Shitar, most of the body parts they get are from hookers and sluts. To bring her back to life, they have to make a stew and Shitar has to eat a virgin. They finally have all their parts together, but a rival health food restaurant owner wants the secret recipe that brings in the guests, so he steals the brain from them. They kill him, bring the brain back and turn people into zombies to eat the "blood buffet". Disco Stu and the black chick, the detectives, come in and start shooting blanks at the zombies. Everything is ruined and everyone dies except the cops, the virgin, and Shitar, who gets picked up at the end. Setting the stage for a part 2, i'll look for it on the new releases shelf sometime soon.
GREAT DEATHS:
1)Some fat guy gets run over with a van 10 times by a van, for no apparent reason
2)Bouncer gets thrown to the street and a hydraulic-pumped car playing the La Cucaracha convienietly bounces on the dudes head
3)The rival restuarant owner, has a knife in his shoulder, gets both his hands cut off, and manages to drive his car into the side of a mountain.
4)A naked woman, after beating up one of the lumarian guys, and looks like she's won the battle, goes over to help her horny boyfriend, but the cave shes in shakes for a good reason and a big spike splits her skull
5)One of the tramps the lumarian guys kills, gets split vertically RIGHT IN HALF with a meat cleaver
6)Another tramp, gets her head fried in a deep fry hole, and her head comes out in a big deep fried crust ball, then one of the lumarian guys swats her head off with a broom
7)These cheerleaders are filming some "Nude Aerobics" and a guy in a Ronald Reagan mask just shows up and mows em all down with a machine gun
QUOTES OF THE MOVIE:
1. (over the radio)He is armed and dangerous with a meat cleaver in one hand and his genitals in the other
2. That was the best freakin veggie burger I've had in a son of a bitch long time
3. Hey Baby, before I stick my big sausage in ya, whats your name??