Well here I sit, Billy just left. At least someone still cares enough to come visit me. He told me that everyone missed him back at the Agency, and that he was looking forward to my return. Joy. I am so happy, can't you tell? Well after what happened, oh I never told you what happened? What landed me in this god-awful hospital, again?

Well when we went in to theÉahÉplace to capture Mr. ****. I went in as we planned, and caught side of my contact. We started to talk, but something went wrong. I am not really sure what happened next but all of a sudden everyone was shooting. I ducked for cover and returned fire at the enemy. The next thing I knew was an intense pain through my thigh. Man did that hurt. My advise; never ever get shot in the thigh.

Anyway after the initial pain settled in I passed out. I heard Francine calling for an ambulance and that was it, nothing after that. I awoke in the hospital emergency room, I could have sworn I heard Amanda's voice and smelled her perfume, but when I opened my eyes she was gone. Figures, but what could I expect. Did I really think that after everything that had happened she would be here at my side?

Well, after that horrid realization, I was put back under and brought to the operating room. After that I don't remember anything till I woke up here. Billy told me that they captured Mr. **** and his associates and they were doing time in federal prison. I am happy about that much, at least the man that murdered Sarah. You remember her journal, the person I told ya about before, the one who Mr. **** murdered.

Well I have to say, getting him, has put some closure to the whole topic. I feel refreshed, like a weight has been lifted. But I really don't feel all that good. I told you Billy was here before. He told me that Amanda hadn't been her usual self, she wasn't coming in as much anymore. Billy wants me to figure out why, that's funny actually, I already know why she's not. I tried to tell Billy that, but he kept telling me to do it. He even said that she broke down in his office, and said that she just didn't fit in, that what she wasn't cut out for this business. How wrong she was, it's weird to say that someone has the talent to become a spy. I mean it's a good job, one that actually helps some good people. I know you hear a but coming in here somewhere. I don't know, it's just that lately I have been craving something a bit simpler. On his way out Billy said that I was going to have a guest later on. Okay a guest; I was thinking Amanda was going to come in to see me. But I really didn't think she would. And I was right, Francine came by.

She stayed for over an hour, and spoke about meaningless stuff. I can't even remember what, it just went in one ear and right out the other. I know that was mean, but I am sorry really, I just was not in the mood for Francine and her 'stuff'.

I was so glad when she left; I thought I was going to scream. I don't mean to sound cold hearted or anything, but a person can only take so much, and really Francine is a good friend, but I really was not in the mood. The nurse came by about an hour or so after that and dropped off my dinner, which mind you I picked at. I swear I am going to lose ten pounds just staying here for a few days. Remind me to talk to Billy about the food; maybe he can do something about it. I have no clue how on earth they think it is appetizing. I watched a bit more television and fell asleep.

What a nice life huh?

The next day was more of the same. Nothing new, nothing exciting, which brings me to right now, at this very moment, I am sitting here alone in my hospital room, writing in a journal of all things. I haven't had any visitors today; I didn't think I would really. So here I sit, alone.

Alone. Doesn't that word just give you the creeps?

I am channel flipping in between writing, now this is getting really scary. There is nothing on television and I have read the books that Billy brought for me, so I guess I am stuck writing.

You know, I need to really do something with my life this is awful. A person can't be alone forever. Don't I have the ability to love someone? Or was I cursed not to?

It's not fair.

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