She lifted her eyes to his pale complexion. He was as white as the sheets that her mother used to hang out on the clothesline at their old apartment. It seemed like everyone would do their laundry on the same day, and all the lines were filled with different fabrics, looking like a celebration of multicolored flags. She took his hand and squeezed it lightly. "Come on, Nikolas. Let me see those gorgeous brown eyes."
Nikolas' face was absolutely still. Not a flutter of an eyelid, not a twitch of a cheek muscle. Gia sighed. He had been like this for hours, ever since they brought him out of surgery. She felt her eyes close briefly as she momentarily dropped her defenses and let the fatigue take over. However, if she closed her eyes, then she could still see him, lying on the ground, that ghostly look in his eyes…
Gia jerked her head up, unwilling to relive those images so vividly. Instead, she concentrated on his face. It almost felt like Sleeping Beauty in reverse. "Wake up, my beautiful prince." She stood and placed the lightest kiss on his lips. She hated the feeling. She was so used to Nikolas' lips meeting hers, responding with equal parts of passion and desire. Now they were cold, motionless.
She put her head in her hands, trying vainly to fight off her tears. Stop it, Gia, she admonished herself. Crying never did anyone any good. "Why didn't I do it sooner?" she said, surprised that words were escaping her lips. "Why couldn't I tell you how I feel?"
You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you
She had finally said it. Those three little words that she had feared so much. But she was more afraid of losing him. She had been angry with him for not calling after being out all night looking for Lucky. He had reassured her, told her how he never wanted to shut her out, how he wanted to be with her for a long time to come. Now the worst had happened. She took his hand. "Nikolas, I'm right here. Can't you feel me? I'm here and I'm not leaving."
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
Against her will, the images of the night invaded her consciousness. It all started with a frantic call from Elizabeth.
*-*-*-*-*-*
*The evening before*
"Calm down, Elizabeth, and tell me what's happening," Nikolas said into the phone. Gia sat on the couch and sighed. Precious Elizabeth needs saving again, she thought.
Nikolas' eyes grew frightened and wide while he listened to what Elizabeth had to say. Finally, he spoke. "Ok, Elizabeth, I want you to stay where you are. I'm going to find him." Nikolas hung up the phone.
Gia didn't like the look on his face. "It's Lucky, isn't it?"
Nikolas grabbed his car keys and nodded. "Elizabeth said that he was acting strangely today." His voice dropped to a whisper. "When she asked him about it, he… God, I can't believe it… he actually shoved her against a wall and threatened to kill her." Nikolas' head dropped with the weight of the words.
Gia gasped. "That doesn't sound like Lucky."
"Exactly," Nikolas sighed. "I've got to find him before he does something else, before it's too late."
Gia jumped up from the couch. "I'm coming with you."
Nikolas touched her lightly on the arms. "Gia, I don't think that's a good idea."
Gia had him in her best determined gaze. "Nikolas, your brother obviously isn't stable. You need someone to help you, watch your back. I can do that!"
Nikolas smiled slightly at her. "I have no doubts as to your abilities. I just want you safe." He took her hands in his. "I think maybe it would be better if you went to stay with your mother tonight."
Gia shook her head. "No way. I'll be perfectly fine here."
"Then lock all the doors. If Lucky shows up here, I want you to call me right away." Nikolas moved closer to her and kissed her deeply on the lips. Gia always felt if they kept it up too long, someday they would just melt together.
Nikolas pulled away. "I love you, Gia. I promise to call you this time," he whispered.
Gia watched as he walked out the door. "Be careful, Nikolas!" she called after him. After he left, she locked the door.
She paced the cottage for several hours, filled with nervous energy, and a dread about what could be happening. Her intuition was screaming that something was off. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. Psycho brothers be damned, she had to find Nikolas. Gia removed the dead bolt from the front door, and took off, unsure of where she was even headed.
After about an hour of running around the city, she still couldn't find Nikolas or Lucky. She had tried in vain to call Nikolas' cell phone, but he never answered. Gia took a corner at a sprint- all of those years on the track team in high school served her well. The streets passed in a blur as her eyes darted back and forth, searching for a sign she wasn't sure she'd even recognize.
A few streets away from the hospital, she got her sign. Nikolas' Jaguar was parked at the curb. Nikolas has got to be around here, Gia thought. "Nikolas!" she started to yell. "Nikolas, where are you?"
There was no response, so she kept moving along the shadowy street. There were garbage cans full of refuse waiting to be picked up at nearly every residence. A few lone streetlights buzzed softly. Then her ears picked up another sound. It was soft, but it sounded like a struggle was taking place. It had to be a few blocks away.
Gia's heart pounded in her chest as the sounds grew more distinct as she approached. Her spirit sank when she recognized the voice. "You're ruining my life! I hate you! You deserve to die!" It was Lucky.
She could see Lucky and Nikolas standing in a dark alley beside a closed meat market. As she grew closer, she could see that Nikolas wasn't actually standing. He was pinned against the wall as Lucky stabbed him with a silver dagger.
A primal, animal-like scream escaped Gia's lips as she ran and jumped on Lucky in the alley. Lucky hadn't seen her, and she knocked him off balance a bit. Gia managed to grab Lucky's wrist, and she snapped it back in one quick motion, causing him to drop the dagger. Lucky brought his other hand up and grabbed Gia's braids, pulling her head back painfully. He moved behind her and brought his other arm up. "I'm going to snap your neck, then you'll be just as dead as he is," Lucky said with a sinister laugh.
Gia looked at Nikolas, his whole chest covered in blood from his stab wounds. He made a few gurgling noises as he struggled to breathe. Gia locked her gaze with Nikolas' pleading eyes, and she knew that she couldn't let them die, not like this, not now. Using leverage to her advantage, Gia dropped her shoulder and slammed Lucky to the ground.
Lucky scrambled to his feet before Gia had a chance to get to Nikolas. "That was a big mistake!" he screamed as he backed Gia up to the curb. He grabbed her roughly by the arms.
Gia was more determined than ever to save Nikolas' life, and her own. Somehow, she drew on the deepest reserves of her strength, and she grabbed onto Lucky's arms just as tightly. She struggled against him for a second, and then managed to turn him around and throw him out into the street.
Just then, a dark sedan sped down the road. Lucky appeared in front of the car so quickly, the driver didn't even have time to hit the brakes. The car hit Lucky's body with a sickening thud, and he was launched over the windshield and the roof. Several bones cracked as he finally hit the pavement. He bled onto the ground, his body a broken shell of its former self.
Gia brought a hand to her mouth in horror after witnessing the awful spectacle. She averted her eyes as she ran to Nikolas. "Nikolas, Nikolas, talk to me! Nikolas!" She got down on her hands and knees and sat next to him. Nikolas didn't respond, and his eyes closed in unconsciousness. Gia stared at him for a split second before coming to her senses, and she put pressure on his wounds, trying to stop the bleeding. It wasn't working, however. The damage was too great, and the blood just oozed through her hands.
The driver of the car jumped out, hysterical. "I didn't mean to hit him!" the business-suited man screamed. "He came out of nowhere!"
"Call the paramedics," Gia shouted. "And tell them to send two ambulances," she choked out.
The man's gray eyes grew even wider when he saw Nikolas' wounds. He ran to his car and found his cell phone and dialed 911.
Gia knew that there wasn't anything else she could do for Nikolas right now, so she took him in her arms, holding him close to her. "You're going to be just fine, Nikolas. Help is on the way." She rocked back and forth, and she could feel his rapid pulse as his vitality poured out of him. "Nikolas, you're not going to die on me now, you hear me?" She ran her hand through his hair. "You're going to be just fine. Just fine." Gia heard the sirens growing closer, and the tears finally slipped down her cheeks. She held onto Nikolas even tighter, hoping that the beat of her heart would inspire his. "Just hold on, Nikolas. Hold on."
*-*-*-*-*-*
The tears had returned to her eyes as she remembered the horrible events of the night. Nikolas had been rushed into emergency surgery for his stab wounds. Someone from the hospital had contacted Stefan, and he arrived within minutes. He started grilling Gia about the events of the attack. Gia repeated everything that happened, and she could see a part of Stefan crumble with each detail. He gripped a wall, and started whispering to himself in Russian. Soon, he was pacing back and forth.
The police had questioned Gia as well, and Marcus had come to the hospital as soon as he was contacted by one of his fellow officers. An officer was being particularly hard on Gia when he approached. "How did you know this was taking place?"
"I told you, I didn't! I just found them," she replied angrily.
"And you weren't deliberately trying to kill Lucky Spencer?"
"Of course she wasn't," Taggert growled. "My sister would never hurt anyone!"
Gia looked up at the sound of his voice. "Marcus!" she cried as she ran into his arms.
Taggert wrapped his sister in a fierce hug, and she sobbed against his chest. He looked angrily to the other officer. "That will be all, Dean," he said, dismissing him.
Gia continued to cry, and she gasped for air in between sobs. "Gia, why don't we sit down?" Marcus suggested.
He led her to one of the couches in a waiting area. He stared at the blood covering her clothes. "God, Gia, they told me what happened," he started, really at a loss for words.
"Is Lucky dead?" Gia whispered. She was defending herself and Nikolas, but she didn't want to be responsible for another person's death.
Taggert sighed. "He's in critical condition, touch and go."
"I didn't mean to do it, I didn't mean to. He was going to kill the both of us," she explained slowly.
"I know, Gia, I know," Taggert said in his best calm voice, trying to hold back the tears that were forming in his brilliant brown eyes. It was one thing when he was comforting crime victims, but it was a whole different story when it was his own sister.
"Marcus, he can't die. I did the best I could, but there was so much blood. Nikolas has got to be ok," she said, her eyes haunted with memories.
Taggert hugged his sister again. "If there's one thing I learned living in this town, Gia, it's that all Cassadines have nine lives. He's not going to die."
*-*-*-*-*-*
Gia tried to smile at Nikolas, tried to stay positive, to believe what her brother had said. She turned her thoughts to happier times.
"Do you know what you did for me, Nikolas? I didn't think I'd ever feel this way again. I was so closed off, afraid of getting hurt," she sighed.
Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth
"I was living in the past. I didn't want to feel that pain again, that intense darkness," she said slowly. She adjusted some of Nikolas' blankets, making sure that he was well covered. "So I just decided that I wouldn't ever let myself be open to that again. I focused solely on myself. I was my first priority."
Gia laughed lightly. "Then, of course, came the day we met. I wouldn't call it conventional." She smiled. "I know we didn't like each other right away, what with the blackmailing and all." She stroked his hand. "But somehow, you worked your way into my life. I started to care about you in spite of myself. Maybe it was that kiss at Kelly's."
Gia looked up at the monitors that were keeping track of his vital signs. "I know that I only did it so Marcus wouldn't see me, but it was something special. When I pulled you close to me, and your lips met mine…" She paused. "It was electric."
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
Her voice wavered a bit as she continued. "And you were so great when my mom was sick, when you barely knew me." Gia batted away a tear that trailed down her cheek. "You took me into your home, and you actually gave a damn about what happened to me, unlike the rest of your friends." She looked at Nikolas' face again. There was a bruise on his cheek from an apparent blow from Lucky, and his blood loss accentuated the dark circles under his eyes. It was so far from what she was used to.
At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly
"Do you know how many people are pulling for you right now? Your uncle is out berating your doctors, making sure that you're getting the best care possible." Gia was grateful for these few minutes alone with Nikolas, since Stefan hadn't left his side for hours. "And I'm sure that your mom would be here too, if we could find her." Stefan had attempted to contact Laura, but apparently she was somewhere unreachable with Luke.
She held his hand in hers again. She looked intently at his face. "Come on, Nikolas. Just squeeze my hand. Come back to us." There was no response. Gia exhaled sharply. "You are so stubborn sometimes, do you know that?" She bit her lip. "Maybe if you had just told me what was going on, things would be different. I wouldn't have said anything! If only you had let me come with you tonight." Finally, the tears started flowing more freely.
At times I understand you
And I see how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by
"I know you just wanted to help your brother. That's one of your best qualities. You're loyal." Her breathing became a bit more labored as she cried harder. "That's also one of your problems. You care so much about other people that you forget to take care of yourself." She pushed away a tear with the back of her hand. "That's why I try to do it for you." She looked at his battered face again. "I do it because I care so much about you." She paused. "I love you, Nikolas."
At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again
Just then, Nikolas' eyelids fluttered. Gia gasped as his brown eyes opened halfway. The corner of his mouth moved ever so slightly. "I love you, too," he whispered.
Gia's heart was soaring until he closed his eyes and the monitors around him screamed. Alarms blared and soon several doctors and nurses rushed in, pushing Gia out of the way as they attempted to revive him.
Stefan had run in the room during the commotion. He could barely stand to look at the doctors attempting to revive Nikolas' frail body, once so healthy, so strong. "Nikolas!" he sobbed. Gia stood in the corner of the room as she braced herself against the walls, unwilling to believe what she was seeing.
Eventually, the doctors moved away from Nikolas. They shut off the monitors and removed the oxygen tubes from his nose. "What do you think you're doing?" Stefan demanded. "You must save him!"
A doctor turned to Stefan. "I'm sorry, Mr. Cassadine, but he's gone. He lost too much blood, and his heart just couldn't take it." She turned back to the rest of the staff. "Time of death, 6:20 am."
"No! No, not my Nikolas. Nikolas!" Stefan cried. He moved to his body, and the doctors and nurses began to leave the room. "We'll leave you for now," the attending doctor said. Soon they were all gone, leaving Stefan and Gia behind.
Stefan moved closer to Nikolas' body, and touched his face. "My beautiful boy," Stefan murmured as he stroked his cheek. "You cannot be gone. You cannot!"
Gia felt as if she couldn't catch her breath. It felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room. She attempted to move, but she staggered a bit. She leaned against the wall again, and finally a small, strangled sob escaped her lips. He couldn't be dead, not now, not ever.
Stefan turned his head as if he was just aware of Gia's presence. "You were here, were you not? You saw him…" Stefan trailed off. "Was he in pain? Did he ever awake?"
Gia knew the truth, but she wasn't sure how much it would really help Stefan. She moved a little bit closer to the bed. Finally, she spoke. "He said he loves you."
Stefan looked at Gia with eyes full of a mix of pain and love for his nephew. "What?"
Gia nodded. She swallowed the lump in her throat, and continued. "He woke up just for a few seconds. He said, 'Tell Stefan I love him.' Then his heart stopped," Gia said, her voice cracking.
Stefan let the news settle over him for a second. He never doubted Nikolas' love for him, even when Nikolas was angry with him. He then looked at Gia, who appeared as distraught as he felt. He spoke softly. "Thank you for being with my nephew tonight. It is obvious you loved him very much."
Gia was surprised and moved by Stefan's words. She spoke quietly but firmly. "I will always love Nikolas." She moved to the side of his bed to take one final look at him. She vowed to herself that this wasn't the way she was going to remember him. In her memories, he would always be the Nikolas she loved, young and full of life. She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. "Goodbye, my prince." She then moved quickly out of the room to give Stefan some privacy.
Gia staggered over to a chair, and she collapsed. Her body shook from a place deep within herself. Her Nikolas, her great love, was gone. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.
A few minutes later, Gia heard a scream from around the corner in another part of the ICU unit. She recognized the voice. It was Laura. Either she just heard about Nikolas, or it was about Lucky. Gia prayed it was the former.
Dr. Chris Ramsey stood in front of Luke and Laura. Laura shook her head. "Not my baby. Not Lucky."
"I'm sorry. He had massive internal bleeding, and we couldn't stop it," Chris sighed. This was always the most difficult part of the job, to inform people about the loss of their loved ones, especially when it was their child.
Luke held onto Laura. "How could we lose him again? Why did this happen?" he cried.
Laura sobbed into Luke's chest. "My baby, my baby."
"It didn't help that we are having a severe blood shortage, particularly of the type O blood your son required. We had to wait longer between transfusions than we would have liked," Chris said softly.
Luke and Laura were oblivious to his words. They held onto each other desperately. Chris decided to leave them alone and he walked down the hallway.
Gia waited a few minutes after she heard Laura's scream, but her need to know what happened prompted her to follow the sound. There she found her in the arms of Lucky's father. From the look on his face, Gia knew that they weren't crying over Nikolas. Her heart dropped in her chest. Not Lucky, too.
Out of the corner of her eye, Laura saw Gia peeking around the corner. She also saw the blood on her clothes. She pulled away from Luke and flew towards Gia with fury.
Gia saw Laura coming, but she didn't move fast enough. Laura grabbed her by the arms and banged her against the wall. "You!" she screamed in a grief-induced rage. "You were the one who killed Lucky! You pushed him into the street!"
Gia winced as Laura squeezed her arms. Lucky had left bruises when he had grabbed her, and now Laura was making them worse. "I didn't mean to!"
Luke rushed over and attempted to pull Laura away, but she was holding on too tightly. "My son's blood is all over you! I should kill you now for what you've done!"
Luke finally managed to pull Laura away. "Laura, it's not worth it!"
Gia stared at Laura through her tears. "I don't think you know the whole story."
"What is there to know? You pushed our son into the path of a speeding car!" Laura screamed.
"That's because he was about to kill me! Look at this!" She held up her arms, which were covered in deep purple bruises. Then she pointed at her shirt. "But you were right. My clothes are covered in your son's blood, but not the one you think," she said, finally breaking down. "Lucky also attacked Nikolas."
Laura stopped for a moment as Gia's words sank in. Then Stefan appeared from around the corner. The double confirmation hit her like a powerful wave. "Oh my God. Nikolas?"
Stefan nodded gravely. "He's gone," he whispered.
"No!" Laura sobbed. "My little boys!" She looked at Stefan with wild eyes. "You're lying! You're lying to me!"
Stefan held out his hand. "You can come with me and see for yourself," he said with a catch in his voice.
Laura took his hand and walked with him to Nikolas' room. Luke walked around in a haze, pacing back and forth. Gia took her opportunity to leave, heading down the back staircase.
Bobbie had rushed to the hospital as soon as she heard the news about Lucky and Nikolas, and was close by all night. Now she finally found her brother. "Luke," she said, tears streaming down her face.
"Barbara Jean, he's gone. My son is gone," Luke said, falling into her embrace. "How could we lose him again?"
"It was a horrible, horrible situation," Bobbie said. "We don't know everything about what happened."
Luke shook his head. "They didn't tell me anything about what happened, just that Lucky was pushed into the street. Now we know he attacked Nikolas and Gia. I knew something was wrong, I knew it! If only Laura and I hadn't gone chasing after Helena. We thought she would lead us to a clue, but we were wrong," he said bitterly. "She was the one who did this to Lucky. She's the one who's responsible!"
Bobbie sniffled a bit as she pulled away. "Luke, just think of your daughter before you do anything rash. She lost her brother tonight."
Luke closed his eyes before more tears could fall. "Brothers."
Bobbie shook her head and cried again. "Nikolas too?"
Luke nodded. He paced a bit. "Lucky's doctor said he lost too much blood, it was internal bleeding," he rambled. "His body couldn't get enough blood, they were short on blood, type O."
Bobbie couldn't stop thinking of those two beautiful boys, both of them gone, just like her BJ. No one should lose a child, especially not twice.
Luke continued. "Type O blood was at a low level, they couldn't do the transfusions fast enough…" Suddenly, Luke stopped in his tracks. "Type O? Wait, wait a minute." He turned to Bobbie. "Barbara, I could have sworn that Lucky had type AB blood."
"Maybe you got mixed up," Bobbie said.
"No, no." Luke's mind was moving at a million miles a minute. "I know for a fact that I have type B blood, just like you."
Bobbie nodded. "Yes, that is our type."
"And Laura is AB, I know it! Barbara, is it possible that a couple with AB and B blood can have a child with type O?" he questioned, desperate for the answer.
Bobbie's eyes grew wide. "Blood types are determined by the presence or absence of the A or B protein on red blood cells. Laura would have to pass on either an A or a B protein, which are dominant." She gasped. "It's not genetically possible for you to have a child with type O blood."
Luke staggered backwards as the realization hit him. "Then that boy in there," he whispered, "is not our son."
*-*-*-*-*-*
Gia ran all the way down the stairs two at a time. Finally, she reached the bottom, and walked out of the nearest door. She was surprised to find herself in the small garden that was kept on hospital grounds. She sat on a stone bench near a small birch tree. There she cried for a good ten minutes.
Finally, her rapid sobbing subsided. She hugged her arms close to her torso and looked out at the sunrise that was lighting up all of Port Charles. She couldn't believe it; Nikolas was dead, and the world kept turning. And Lucky… "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry for everything."
Gia looked up and started to speak
to the sky. "Why did you have to leave, Nikolas? Why did you leave me here?"
She shook her head. "What I wouldn't give just to see you again, to touch
you one more time."
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
Gia sighed. "I love you, Nikolas. And I'll never forget you." Just then, a small blackbird took wing from a branch in the birch tree. As it flew, spreading its wings towards the horizon, Gia hoped Nikolas was flying towards his own destiny. She managed a smile through her tears. "Have a safe journey home."
Song Credit: "Sometimes When We Touch" by Dan Hill