Emily played with the drawstring on her coat as she waited impatiently for Sly to come pick her up.  He promised her a big surprise. 

She looked down at her leather gloves, nervously pulling them off and on.  She thought of the letter she had received in the mail.  It was typical terse Jason, but it was nice that he remembered her birthday. 

The day had been pleasant, but tense.  Her family celebrated with a birthday breakfast.  They tried to put on happy faces, but Emily could sense their underlying sadness.  Today was supposed to be a happy event, her first official day of adulthood.  In reality, she was already dealing with the issues of adulthood long before. 

She got a lot of very nice presents.  Her parents gave her a beautiful opal ring, but unfortunately, her fingers had swelled since she became pregnant, so it didn’t fit.  She tried to laugh it off, but little things like that only reminded her of how much things had changed. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a blaring horn.  The honks came in short, rhythmic bursts.  It’s got to be Sly, Emily thought, as she opened the front door and walked outside. 

Sly jumped out of his truck and hopped a bit nervously as he waited for Emily to emerge.  He couldn’t wait to see her reaction. 

Emily’s eyes opened wide in surprise as she saw Sly’s truck.  The bed was filled with multi-colored balloons; there were streamers taped everywhere possible.  Then there was the sign attached to the tailgate.  It was hand painted, and it read, “Today is Emily’s birthday.” 

Sly’s heart swelled when she started to laugh hysterically.  “You’re a nut,” she laughed as she walked to where he was standing. 

Sly smiled as he took her in his arms.  “Maybe.  You should have seen the looks I got driving over here.”  He pushed some of her hair out of her face.  “Do you like it?” 

Emily smiled.  “I love it!”  She looked back at the truck.  “So this is the surprise?” 

Sly grinned wickedly.  “Oh, Miss Bowen-Quartermaine, this is just the beginning.” 

Emily looked at Sly with bemused skepticism.  “You mean there’s more?” 

“But of course!  So if you don’t mind, I’ll be your chauffeur to the next location.” 

Emily chuckled.  “If you insist, driver.” 

Sly helped Emily get into the truck, which wasn’t as easy as it used to be.  He then hopped up to the driver’s side, and started the truck with a mighty roar. 

*-*-*-*-*-*

Sly pulled the truck into his driveway a few minutes later.  As he helped Emily down, he asked, “So how do you like being a celebrity?”

“I can’t believe so many people honked and waved,” she laughed. 

Sly pulled a rose petal from his pocket.  He put it in Emily’s hand.  “Next, we’ll follow the trail.”  Emily looked at Sly quizzically for a moment, but he nodded at the ground.  She saw a long trail of rose petals on the ground.  She followed them, and they led up the stairs to Sly’s apartment.  She took the stairs slowly, and Sly was close behind.  When she reached the landing, he moved in front of the door.  “Now close your eyes.” 

Emily closed her eyes.  “Please don’t tell me you have a bunch of people in here for some sort of surprise party.” 

Sly laughed as he opened the door and flipped a switch.  “No, this party is much more intimate.”  He led Emily in, and then closed the door behind them. 

“Ok, you can open your eyes.” 

Emily opened her eyes, and she couldn’t believe what she saw.  Sly’s apartment ceiling was covered in white Christmas lights, making it look like an indoor tent of light.  The floor was sprinkled with rose petals, and there were several bouquets in vases around the room.  She gasped as she turned to Sly.  “Sly, it’s so beautiful!” 

Sly could see the amazement in her eyes, and it raised his spirit.  “You like it?” 

She threw her arms around his neck.  “Oh, I love it!”  She hugged him tightly.  “Thank you so much!”

He hugged her back with one arm, and then pulled away.  “I was hoping to set the right mood.”  He then brought his other arm around, and he was holding one more bouquet of roses.  He smiled.  “Ok, let me see if I remember all of this.  Each rose has a different meaning.”  He handed Emily the first rose.  “A white rose represents innocence.”  He selected the next one.  “A pink rose is for happiness.”  He handed her the next.  “The lavender rose means love at first sight.”  His eyes met Emily’s shyly.  “A yellow rose for friendship,” he said, as he handed it to her.  Then he had one left.  “And a red rose for my love.” 

Emily had to wipe away the tears that had suddenly formed. 

Sly’s smile faded.  “Oh, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he said softly. 

Emily shook her head and smiled.  “No, Sly, these are happy tears.  This has got to be the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”  She brought the roses up to her nose and inhaled their sweet fragrance. 

He smiled, relieved.  “Well, that’s good, because I’m just getting started.”  He took the roses from Emily to put them in some water.  He then took her by the hand and led her to his bed.  He had her sit down, and then he pulled out two small packages from the nightstand.  He sat on the bed and handed her the gifts.  “What’s a birthday party without presents?”

Emily could tell that he was excited, so she started to open the smaller one immediately.  She tore off the purple paper to reveal a small jewelry box.  She opened it and gasped at what was inside.  It was a necklace with a small heart-shaped pendant made of diamonds.  “Oh, Sly, it’s incredible!” 

Sly smiled.  “That’s because you’re my heart, Emily.  Don’t ever forget that.” 

She smiled right back at him.  “Help me to put it on.”  She took the necklace out of the box and handed it to him.  She moved her hair as he put the necklace on. 

Sly fumbled with the necklace’s clasp.  “There’s a reason I don’t wear jewelry,” he muttered, and Emily laughed softly.  Finally, he got it.  “There.” 

Emily looked at her reflection in a nearby mirror.  “It’s just gorgeous, Sly.  Thank you.”  She turned around and kissed him gently. 

Sly smiled after they finished.  “Hey, you still have another one to go.” 

Emily slowly took the paper off the larger box.  She removed the lid, and found a much younger self staring back at her.  It was a picture of herself and Sly from when they were first friends.  Emily guessed that she was about twelve.  The picture showed herself and Sly outside somewhere, their arms linked, and they were smiling for the camera.  “Oh, Sly, where did you get this?” 

Sly could see the emotions that were spread across Emily’s face.  “I got it from you, actually, about five years ago.” 

Emily looked closer at the picture.  Then she remembered when it was taken.  “Oh my gosh, the junior high dance!” 

*-*-*-*-*-*

September 1995

“Are you sure they won’t miss us?” Emily asked nervously.  She walked next to Sly.

Sly smiled.  “You don’t need to worry about it.”

Lucky walked on Emily’s other side.  “It’s not like they take attendance at dances,” he teased.

“But I told Monica I’d go,” Emily said softly.  She didn’t want to upset her.  She was still getting used to living with the Quartermaines, and it was, at times, a very uneasy peace.

“You did go, Emily.  We promise we’ll have you back there before it’s over, and no one will be the wiser,” Sly said mischievously.

“That’s interesting logic,” she laughed, and Sly was happy that she smiled.

“So where are we headed?” Lucky asked.

Emily could see Sly’s eyes flash with an idea.  “Hey, I know the perfect place.  Follow me.”

A few minutes later, Lucky and Emily followed Sly along the river.  Emily looked up at the lighthouse.  “Wow, that house is cool,” she said.

“You think so?  That’s my…” Sly stopped short as he realized what he was saying.  He looked up.  “That was my house.”

Lucky put his hand on Sly’s shoulder.  “Hey man, why don’t we go somewhere else?” he asked. 

Sly shook his head.  “No, I want to show you this.”

They walked a little farther, until they emerged into a small cove.  Huge pine trees surrounded the area, and the river flowed gently against the shore.  The early evening moonlight filtered through the trees. 

Sly smiled.  “Welcome to Sanctuary.”

Lucky and Emily walked around, taking in their surroundings.  “It’s really beautiful,” Emily said.  “Why do you call it Sanctuary?”

Sly leaned against a large rock near the water.  “I used to come down here when I wanted to be alone.  It was like disappearing from the world for a while.  Sometimes I even slept down here, not that anyone noticed.”

Emily looked sympathetically at Sly.  From comments here and there, she gathered he hadn’t had a very happy childhood.  She could tell this place brought back a lot of memories, not all of them good.  She was about to say something when a bright flash of light distracted her.

Lucky grinned from behind a camera.  “Got you!” he laughed.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Emily complained.  “I wasn’t expecting that.”  She approached Lucky.  “Give my camera back.”

Lucky backed away from her.  “You’re the one who asked me to hold it.  Of course I’m going to use it.”  He took another picture of her.

When Emily realized she wasn’t getting the camera back, she gave up.  “Fine, do what you want.”

“Don’t I always?” Lucky winked. 

She looked up at the big, flat rock Sly was leaning against.  “Hey, Sly, is there a way we can get up there?”

Sly looked at her skeptically.  “You sure you want to climb this in a dress?”

Emily smiled.  “Who cares?  I’m more interested in the view.”

“Ok, if you insist.”  Sly went to one side and climbed up, and then offered his hand to Emily, and she climbed up, too.  Lucky soon followed. 

“I was right, it looks a lot better from up here,” Emily said, looking at the wide expanse of the river.

Lucky took some more random pictures.  Finally, Sly turned around.  “Hey Ansel Adams, if you’re going to use up Emily’s film, why not take some pictures of something interesting?”

“Oh, like what?” Lucky questioned.

Sly moved over to Emily and took her arm in his.  “Like me and the most beautiful girl in the world.”

Emily blushed.  Did he really mean that?

Lucky laughed.  “Fine.”  He pointed the camera at them.  “What’s the most important thing in life?  Love or money?”

Sly and Emily laughed.  “Love,” they said in unison.

Click.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Emily turned to Sly.  “Did you really think I was the most beautiful girl in the world?”

Sly nodded.  He kissed Emily softly on the cheek, and whispered in her ear.  “Still do.”

Emily smiled, and then looked down at the picture again.  “I’m so glad I went with you guys and ditched the dance.”

Sly smiled.  “The only bad thing was that I never had an excuse to dance with you.”

Emily laughed.  “Really?  Well, I can fix that.”  She got up and took his hand.  “Sly, would you like to dance with me?”

Sly grinned.  “I would be honored.”  He got to his feet, and then picked up the remote to put on some music.  He then took Emily in his arms as they gently swayed to the song. 

I know living with me ain't always easy
I dam up emotions some men just let flow
But girl when you're not by my side I feel a part of me has died
'Cause I love you more than you'll ever know

Sly put his hand on Emily’s back, and he could feel her silky hair.  They slowly rocked together as Sly whispered the song into her ear. 

More than life, more than I've ever loved before
It's absurd and beyond words, I couldn't want you more
And when I try to pour my heart out to you I'm not sure it shows
That I love you more than you'll ever know

Emily relished the chance to have Sly’s body against hers.  She thought back to the night when they made love.  When she was dancing with Juan in the club, she couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if she were dancing with Sly.  Now she knew.  She held on tightly to his waist, resting her face on his shoulder. 

I'm sure you've heard it said hearts have windows
But mine has doors a painful past has closed
Unless someday they open wide revealing feelings locked inside
I'll love you more than you'll ever know

As he held Emily to him, Sly could feel her bulging midsection.  Hey there, he thought silently.  Don’t mind your mom and dad.  We’re just dancing. 

More than life, more than I've ever loved before
It's absurd and beyond words, I couldn't want you more
And when I try to pour my heart out to you I'm not sure it shows
That I love you more than you'll ever know

Emily touched Sly’s face, and she could see the love and the warm desire in his eyes.  She tilted her head forward and gave him a kiss.  

Even when I pour my heart out to you I'm not sure it shows
That I love you more than you'll ever know

The kiss grew in its intensity so much that they had to sit back down on the bed.  Sly held Emily tightly to him, and she ran her hands through his short, spiky hair.  Sly and Emily could feel their hearts pounding in the same quick rhythm.  The spiral of emotions grew deeper and deeper, until Sly reluctantly pulled back. 

“What’s wrong?” Emily asked breathlessly. 

Sly brought a hand up to his face.  “We can’t do this, Emily.”  He looked down at her midsection. 

Emily sighed.  “I guess you’re right.”  She lay down on the bed and stared up at the lights on the ceiling. 

Sly lay next to her, and turned his head towards her.  “And it’s hard, because I want you so badly.” 

She looked at him.  “It’s good to hear you say that.” 

Sly lifted his eyebrow skeptically.  “What do you mean by that?”

Emily looked at the ceiling again for a moment.  “Oh, I don’t know.  Sometimes you have this tendency to…” She returned her gaze to Sly’s brown eyes.  “Shut me out.” 

Sly closed his eyes.  “I’d never do that.”

Emily touched Sly’s face.  “See, you just did it again.” 

He opened his eyes.  “What?” 

“You closed your eyes.  It’s like slamming the door in my face.” 

Sly sat up on the bed, and Emily followed suit.  He picked some lint off of the black and white comforter.  “If I do it, I don’t mean to.” 

Emily sighed.  “I know, but that doesn’t mean it’s any easier to try to figure you out.  I just wish you’d tell me how you feel more often.” 

Sly tried to make it a point to look at her.  “Unfortunately, it’s been my experience that if you open yourself up, you’re just asking to get hurt.” 

“But sometimes we have to take risks if we ever want to get to the good things in life,” she said softly. 

“I know, but…” He leaned back against one of the pillows.  “Maybe I should try to explain.”

“Please,” she said. 

Sly shifted his position slightly on the bed, so he was sitting Indian style, facing Emily.  He put his hands in his lap.  “Whenever I’ve told people my deepest feelings, my hopes, my worries, whatever, they’ve only used it against me later, or they’ve just outright ignored me.”  He sighed.  “Like with my father; I would tell him what I thought, what I was afraid of.  He would pretend to listen, sometimes, but he would belittle my concerns.  Then he’d say he loved me, but most of the time, it wasn’t because he really meant it; it was because he wanted me to stop arguing or bothering him.  It was like he would manipulate me with those words, because he knew I was so desperate to hear them.”  He ran a hand through his hair.  “Or how my grandfather got me to pour my heart out to him, so we’d have this false closeness.  All he really wanted was my money, or maybe just a human punching bag.” 

Emily took Sly’s hands in hers.  “But that’s not always true, Sly.  What about today?  What about the night we made love?  You were open, you were vulnerable.” 

He shrugged his shoulders.  “I guess that’s the exception to the rule.” 

Emily shook her head.  “It doesn’t have to be.”  She thought for a moment.  “Why don’t we try this?  You ask me a question, and I’ll answer, then I’ll ask one.  And it has to be serious.”  

Sly nodded.  “Ok.”  He stretched out again on the bed.  He looked up at the lights on the ceiling, and if he squinted a bit, they looked like thousands of tiny stars.  His voice was soft.  “Do you ever think about dying?”

Emily was a little surprised by the question, but not too much, because it was a thought that wasn’t often far from her mind.  “Sure I do.” 

Sly nodded.  “I don’t mean I think about killing myself, or anything like that.  I just wonder when I’m going to die, and the circumstances surrounding it.” 

“I know what you mean.  It’s not something that dominates my life, but it’s always in the back of my mind,” Emily said truthfully.

“Do you think you’re going to die like them?” Sly asked. 

Emily was puzzled.  “Like my parents, you mean?”

“Yeah,” Sly said.  He looked at her expectantly. 

Emily cleared her throat.  “Sometimes.  I wonder if I’ll get breast cancer like my mom, or Monica for that matter.  I’m hyper-vigilant about checking myself and all that goes with it.” 

“Sometimes I think it’s my doom,” Sly said gravely.

“Your doom?  What do you mean, Sly?” Emily asked, her voice full of concern. 

“Somewhere in the back of mind, I know I’ll end up staring down the barrel of a gun again.  And I won’t be able to walk away next time.”  He brought a hand up to his face. 

Emily touched his shoulder, causing him to look at her.  “You’re talking about when your dad died, right?”

Sly nodded.  “It was the strangest feeling, running from Frank Smith’s men.  I don’t think I really realized how much danger we were in at the time.  I just kept running, hoping I’d find another way out, another tunnel or something.  When they finally found us, it all happened so fast.  They had the guns aimed at us, and I didn’t even have time to think about it, because my dad ran in.  He grabbed one of the guys to aim the gun away from us, then he ran over to try to shield us, and I guess he did, because that’s when they shot him.” 

Sly paused for a moment, then continued.  “It was the loudest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.  It just rang and rang, and echoed back to me.  Sometimes I can still hear it in my dreams.  And then I had to watch him die,” Sly said, his voice finally cracking. 

Emily gently embraced him.  “That doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to you!” she said firmly. 

Sly held onto Emily.  “But my mother was shot and killed, too.  If it could happen to not one, but both of my parents, then why couldn’t it happen to me?” 

Emily wiped a tear that had fallen down his cheek.  “I know better than to make promises about the future,” she said.  “But there’s no need to worry about it, Sly.  We don’t know when we’ll die, but we can try to make the most of the time that we have.” 

Sly ran his hand along Emily’s cheek.  “Do you realize just how special you are?”

Emily smiled softly, and started to say something, but Sly continued.

“You made me care, Emily.  Before, it really didn’t matter to me if I lived or died.  But now, now I have this incredible reason for living.  I want to spend every second I can with you.  I want us to grow old together, to raise our child together.  I just want to be with you,” he smiled through his tears. 

She smiled tenderly.  “And I can’t believe how lucky I got to have you back in my life.  When we became friends again, it was like we were never apart.  I never knew how much I missed you until we met again.  You opened up a door to a whole new world.  I only regret that I wasted so much time with you.  I regret trying to deny my true feelings.”

Sly tilted his head a little.  “There may be some things in life to regret, but that shouldn’t be one of them.  We found our way back to each other.” 

Emily laughed.  “That’s for sure,” she said, then kissed him again. 

Sly kissed her back, then pulled away.  “Now wait a minute, doesn’t this little game have two sides?  You have to ask me a question.” 

“Ok,” she smiled, then thought for a moment.  She took his hand in hers.  “Do you ever think about us getting married?” she asked softly. 

Sly was silent for a moment.  “Sometimes,” he said a little hesitantly. 

“And?” She said expectantly, yet almost afraid to hear the answer. 

“Honestly, I think it’s a pretty good idea, but I didn’t know if you wanted to do it,” he said.  He tried to read her expression. 

“I have been thinking about it lately,” she said.  “But you never made any motion to me that you were thinking about it.” 

“Well, today is the first day of better communication, right?” 

“You’re right,” she laughed.  “I think it makes sense.  I mean, we’re committed to each other, right?”

Sly looked her right in the eyes.  “Absolutely.  I want to be with you, Emily, now and forever.” 

“I think it would be better for the baby if we were married,” she said, then looked up at him and grinned.  “And better for us, too.”

“Aren’t things good now?” Sly asked.

“Well, sure, but think about it.  We’re living in two different places, having to deal with our families all the time.  Since we’re our own family now, shouldn’t we have our own lives, our own home?”

Sly exhaled softly.  “It’s a big step,” he admitted.

“We’ve already made a pretty big step,” Emily said, patting her stomach.  “What’s one more?”

Sly raised his eyebrow and smiled.  “Emily Quartermaine, did you just propose?”

She smiled brightly.  “I guess I did.”  She took his hands in hers.  “Sly Eckert, will you marry me?”

Sly looked at Emily, and he couldn’t believe he was responsible for the look of happiness and love in her eyes.  “Yes, Emily Quartermaine, I’ll marry you,” he said, slightly choked up. 

Emily started to laugh.  “I can’t believe it!  We’re getting married.” 

Sly gave her a kiss.  “And how unconventional of you to ask.”

Emily kissed him again.  “Hey, no one said we were normal.”  Suddenly, she gasped.

Sly’s heart raced.  “Emily, is something wrong?”

Emily started to cry.  “No, no, no.”  She put her hand to her stomach.  “Maybe I’m crazy, but did I just feel the baby kick?”

Sly put his hand to her stomach.  Then he felt the tiniest movement.  The most incredible feeling of wonder and awe washed over him.  This baby is real, he thought, and I helped to create it.  Tears started to run down his cheeks as well.  “If you’re crazy, then I am, too.” 

They looked at each other and cried happy tears, not saying anything, just reveling in the moment.  Finally, Sly looked over at his guitar, and he remembered something.  “I can’t believe I forgot!  I have one more present for you,” he said. 

Emily laughed.  “I don’t need any more presents, Sly.” 

He got up off the bed to grab his guitar, then sat down again.  “Then consider it a gift for you and our baby.”  He put his hands on the proper places on the guitar.  “You know that I don’t express my feelings well, as today will attest,” he said.  “But sometimes I can say things through my music that I can’t normally confess.  I know you were probably wondering what I thought about when we saw our baby for the first time,” he said softly.  “So here goes.”

Sly began to play a soft guitar intro.  Emily smiled.  She always loved when he sang to her.  It seemed like the most natural thing in the world for him, and she could tell it made him so happy, making her happy in turn.  She listened carefully to the words.

When she told me she was gonna have a baby
A part of me went weightless.
For the first time in my life, there was nothing I could say.
It’s like a miracle from the stars above;
Paralyzed with fear, I was overcome with love.

Sly’s hands shook on the guitar a bit.  He felt he was tripping over his words, and they weren’t coming out right.  It was from the heart, though.  He never wrote about something more important. 

She said, "Soon you’ll hear the beating of an unborn heart.
This is the answer you’ve been searching for so hard."
And for the first time in my life I felt a wave of love so deep.
As I listened for the unborn child’s heartbeat.

Emily started to cry again as she witnessed Sly’s heartfelt honesty.  She never knew that this had affected him so much.  He went back into another verse. 

I said something stupid like, "How are you feeling?"
She smiled the warmest smile I’ve ever seen.
Oh…
I guess that said it all.

The tears were streaking down Sly’s face as he continued.  He could not hold back this wave of emotion. 

Now we’re a far cry from a storybook romance.
Something in her eyes made me crumble.
I reached out for her hand.

Emily couldn’t believe how articulate he was.  Emily didn’t know how he could find the words to express his feelings like this, and then put them to music!

She said, "Soon you’ll hear the beating of an unborn heart.
This is the answer you’ve been searching for so hard."
And for the first time in my life I felt a wave of love so deep.
As I listened for the unborn child’s heartbeat.

Sly could barely hold it together.  He was so incredibly happy and scared at the same time.  He was going to be a father, and now, a husband.  He struggled to continue. 

Now we all know how crazy this world can be sometimes,
And I lie awake at night and wonder how a child survives.
Beyond the danger in the strangers, and the inhumanity.
Lord give us strength to someday find a world that lives in peace.
Oh…

Emily just looked at Sly, and she realized she didn’t know that she could love someone so much.  She felt like her heart would burst.  I’m getting married, she thought.  Married. 

She said, "Soon you’ll hear the beating of an unborn heart.
This is the answer you’ve been searching for so hard."
And for the first time in my life I felt a wave of love so deep.
As I listened for the unborn child’s heartbeat.

Sly whispered the last line. 

Oh I can almost hear the beating...

Sly played the last few notes of the song, and then put down the guitar.  He looked at Emily through watery eyes.  “Did you like it?”

Emily threw her arms around his neck.  “Oh, Sly, I loved it.  It was so beautiful!” 

Sly smiled.  As Emily pressed against him, he could just barely feel the baby move.  And you liked it too, he thought silently to his unborn child.  I’ll sing for you for the rest of my life. 

Song Credits: “More Than You’ll Ever Know” by Travis Tritt on his album, “The Restless Kind.”  “Unborn Heart” by Dan Hill on his album, “Real Love.”

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