"I'm petitioning on behalf of my grandson. He needs Your help soon, or I'm afraid it may be too late."
"I am so worried about my brother. I hope someone will be able to get through to him."
"Lucky's hasn't been happy since he came back from Heaven. I just want him to be happy."
*-*-*-*-*-*
"Ok, I think I've got it. I'll find her."
Joseph motioned, and the young angel hurried over. "Yes?" she asked.
"I've been told that it's time to step up our efforts with Lucky Spencer."
"I've been trying my best, Joseph, really."
"No need to worry, dear. This isn't a performance evaluation. It's just time for a more direct intervention."
"You mean?"
Joseph nodded. "You've watched over him from the moment of conception. Now it's time to meet face to face."
*-*-*-*-*-*
Lucky sighed as he looked out his bedroom window. He had tried to keep a happy face for the sake of his family. However, his heart was heavy. Even though he had been released from the hospital a few weeks ago, he did not feel better.
He had done a lot of thinking about what his father had said. He hadn't seen him since then, but he would find notes that Luke had somehow managed to get to him. Lucky tried to appreciate their encouraging tone. Well, as encouraging as Luke could be.
Now it was Christmas Eve, and Lucky could not feel any of the warmth of the season. Instead, he just felt cold.
His mind drifted to Christmases past. Somehow, his mother always managed to make the holidays happy, even when they were on the run. He thought of how she would smile when she pulled the angel out of the carpetbag. He remembered Lesley Lu's first Christmas, when Laura held her up to the angel, like she was giving thanks for the blessing they had received.
He thought of the simple, beautiful Christmas he shared with Elizabeth before his abduction. He remembered seeing her smile, and he thought it was the best present he could have gotten.
However, thoughts of Elizabeth only brought the memory of what he had done to her. Lucky slammed his hand against the window frame. How could he have hurt her like that? How could he have betrayed her? "Everyone would have been better off if I had really died in that fire," he whispered softly.
"I wouldn't be too sure about that," a soft female voice said.
Lucky spun around to face the sudden intruder. His eyes were wide with shock as he observed the being in front of him. It appeared to be a tall young woman with long, flowing brown hair. She was wearing a long white dress. She had the most peaceful smile on her face. "Who are you, and how did you get in here?"
The young woman laughed. "Typical Lucky. You were always the suspicious type."
Lucky shook his head. "What are you talking about and how do you know me?"
She walked closer to Lucky. "Ok, I give in." She put a hand on his shoulder, but he just backed away. "I've known you since before you were born." She looked into his eyes. "I'm your guardian angel, Lucky, and I'm here to help you."
Lucky gasped. "I'm losing my mind," he said as he shook his head.
"Oh, on the contrary," the angel continued. "You're actually having a moment of amazing clarity." She walked closer to him once again. "I'm here to convince you that life is worth living. No one would be better off it you had died in that fire."
"You're right. I never should have been born!" Lucky spat out angrily. "I'm talking to a figment of my own imagination," he muttered to himself softly.
The angel turned her head upward. "Do you think it will work? I mean, it's been done before." She listened for a moment, then nodded. "Ok, let's give it a shot."
Lucky heard a great gust of wind blow outside his window. The young woman looked at him seriously. "Your wish has been granted. You've never been born."
Lucky stared at her in disbelief. "You can't just make a person suddenly non-existent." He moved towards the window. "I don't know who you are, or why you're trying to mess with my head, but I don't have to stay around to hear any of this." He grabbed a jacket, opened the window and stood on the roof. He soon rapidly climbed down the large tree on the side of the house.
Lucky put on his jacket as he walked quickly away from the house. I just need to clear my head, he thought, as he walked the streets. He observed his surroundings. It was typical Port Charles, but it felt different somehow.
Suddenly, the angel appeared next to Lucky. He stopped in his tracks.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," she said.
"You just don't give up, do you?" Lucky asked. "Ok, so maybe I'm not imagining you. Then somebody's paying you to do this impersonation. Maybe this is some weird sort of therapy. Well, forget it, it's not going to work," Lucky said as he began to walk again.
The angel shook her head as she followed. "Oh, I'm telling the truth, Lucky. I'm here now for some moral support, because I have a feeling you're in for quite a shock."
Lucky sighed. "Then what's your name? If you're my new buddy, I should at least know that."
The angel smiled. "Call me Clarice."
"Whatever." Lucky sighed. He walked faster until he saw his cousin, Carly. Here's my chance to ditch this nut, he thought.
"Carly!" he called to his approaching cousin.
The young woman stopped at the sound
of her name. She stared at Lucky with cold eyes. "Yeah, what do you want,
kid?"
Lucky was hurt by her tone. He ignored it and continued on. "What are you
doing out here? Why aren't you at home with Sonny?"
Carly narrowed her eyes. "What are you talking about? I don't know any Sonny."
"Of course you do, he's your husband," Lucky continued. "And Bobbie's your mother, and I'm your cousin. Carly, you're acting like you don't know me."
Carly backed away from Lucky. "Look, you are obviously a nut job. You are not my cousin. I've never seen you before in my life. Why don't you just stay away from me?" she said, then quickly walked away.
"But…" Lucky stuttered.
Clarice stood next to him. "Remember, Lucky, you've never been born. Things are different."
"Why doesn't she know her own husband?" he asked, still confused.
"Well, Lucky, let me explain." Clarice took a deep breath. "Do you remember the shooting that took place in 1995 at your home?"
"Of course I do," Lucky said tersely.
"And you remember how Sonny hid you in the basement?" Lucky nodded. "Well, since you weren't there, Sonny stayed in the living room and joined the shootout. He was killed by a bullet to the heart." Lucky gasped. "And since he died, he of course never met Carly. Sonny's death hit everyone hard, especially Stone Cates. He disappeared the day after the shooting, and no one ever found him."
Lucky didn't like what he was hearing, so he decided to keep walking.
Clarice kept on talking, however. "And since Sonny wasn't there for him, after his accident, Jason Morgan drifted into other crimes, and now he's serving time in prison for grand theft auto."
"Look, why are you making up stuff that isn't true?" Lucky angrily yelled at Clarice. He had not realized it, but he ended up walking to the seedier part of town around Courtlandt Street. He looked to a group of teens standing around a fire in an oil drum. Then he caught a glimpse of one of their faces. He couldn't believe his eyes.
"Emily!" he said in surprise. She jerked her head up at the sound of her name. "What do you want?" she said tiredly.
The other teens regarded Lucky suspiciously as he approached Emily. "Emily, what are you doing down here?" he said as he touched her arm.
Emily jerked away from him. "What do you think I'm doing? And who are you anyway?"
Lucky put his hand to his side angrily. "Come on, Emily, it's me, Lucky. You know me."
Emily shook her head. "No, I don't."
"Don't you remember? We went to New Mexico to find your aunt. We were stuck in the cave together," Lucky said, his words turning desperate.
Emily was scared. "I don't know who you are," she said again.
"Why don't you leave her alone?" a voice hissed as Lucky felt himself being pulled backward. "If she says she doesn't know you, then it's the truth."
"Hey, watch it," Lucky started to say as he faced his assailant. He was shocked as he looked into a familiar pair of brown eyes. "Sly?"
"There you go again, acting like you know who we are." Sly moved around Lucky skittishly.
Lucky looked back and forth from Emily to Sly. Both of them looked thin. There were large circles under their eyes. They were underdressed for the bitterly cold weather. What had happened to them?
"What are you guys doing here?" Lucky asked in confusion.
"I think you're asking too many questions. Why don't you get out of here before you start more trouble?" Sly stated menacingly.
Lucky could tell they were agitated by his presence, so he just decided to walk away.
Clarice followed along. "Are you starting to get this? You were never born. You don't exist."
Lucky was still lost in thought. "If you have all the answers, then what happened to them?"
"Well, since you weren't there, Emily really didn't have a good friend in Port Charles. She was deeply depressed after her mother's death. You weren't there to cheer her up, or to take her on that trip to New Mexico, so she never knew if her aunt wanted to find her. She ended up leaving the Quartermaines, and she ran away from her foster home. She's been living on the streets ever since."
Lucky's mind was spinning from all of the information he was attempting to piece together. He looked at Clarice skeptically. "Well, if this little fantasy of yours is correct, then Sly should be better off. If I hadn't involved him when we first came back to Port Charles, then his father would still be alive," Lucky said softly.
Clarice shook her head. "Well, you'd be right on one part. Bill Eckert doesn't die in the catacombs. Instead, he suffers a massive heart attack before his son turns twelve. Sly carries so much guilt over his death, since they were having an argument just moments before he died. Sly ran away from his aunt's home a few months later. Now he lives with the other street kids."
Lucky sighed as he asked the next question. "Did they seem kind of strung out to you?"
Clarice nodded her head sadly. "Emily's tried a lot of drugs, and your cousin is addicted to speed."
Lucky bit his lip to keep from crying. Finally, he lashed out at Clarice. "I don't believe you. I'm alive. I exist! This is all some kind of bad dream."
Lucky took off running and he ended up at the docks. He put his hand to his chest as he tried to catch his breath. He just had to wake up, then everything would be ok.
A figure walked closer on the docks. Lucky's heart leapt with joy when he saw that it was his brother.
"Nikolas!" he called. "Nikolas!"
Nikolas turned his head at the sound of his name.
"Oh, Nikolas, thank God you're here. There is something seriously wrong," Lucky said as he grabbed Nikolas' arm.
"Unhand me!" Nikolas demanded as he pulled away from Lucky.
"Oh, not you too. Come on, Nikolas. You've got to know me!" Lucky said desperately.
"I assure you, I do not recognize you." Nikolas stared coldly at Lucky.
"It's me, Lucky, your brother," Lucky shouted.
"I have no brother," Nikolas said flatly.
Lucky was speechless. Then he saw three more people approach. It was his mother and sister, and they were walking with Stefan Cassadine. He felt like he was going to be sick. They looked like a family.
"Nikolas, what's wrong? Who is this?" Stefan asked as he arrived.
Nikolas pointed at Lucky. "This, this, transient is claiming to be my brother."
Lucky wasn't listening. Instead, he was looking at his mother. She had to know him. If not her, then who else?
"Mom," he said.
Laura looked blankly at the young man before her. She pulled Lesley Lu closer to her in a protective manner.
Lucky moved closer to them. "Mom, don't you recognize me?"
Laura was frightened. "Stefan."
Stefan moved between Lucky and Laura. "You will stay away from my wife."
Lucky's face fell. Wife? "You bastard!" he screamed, and he rushed Stefan. The men tussled for a few moments. "Call the police!" Stefan shouted.
Clarice couldn't let this continue on any longer, so she suddenly entered the fray, pulling Stefan away from Lucky. Stefan wondered where the woman had suddenly appeared from, and how she was so strong. Clarice tightly held Stefan as she yelled, "Run, Lucky, run!" Lucky was too startled by her intervention to ignore her orders. He ran away as fast as he could.
Stefan wrenched himself out of Clarice's grasp. "Young woman, I don't know what you and your friend are trying to do to my family, but you will not get away with it." Stefan looked for the rest of his family, but it appeared that Nikolas had taken them to the launch. When Stefan turned back to the young woman, she was gone.
Lucky struggled to breathe as he slowed down a good distance from the docks. He felt tears sting his eyes. It couldn't be true. His mother didn't recognize him; not only that, but she had started a family with his father's worst enemy.
He then felt an arm around his shoulder. He looked up at Clarice's concerned face.
"Explain that to me!" Lucky shouted.
"Well, your parents reunited after her time on the island. They went on the run for many years, but Laura always yearned for a child. They eventually settled in Port Charles, and they had Lesley Lu. But soon after, she became ill, and your brother Nikolas was called upon to be the bone marrow donor."
Lucky was impatient. "That sounds pretty much like what normally happened. What else?"
Clarice held up a hand. "Let me finish. After this, your parents divorced rather quickly. You weren't there to help them remember the good times, the love they shared. So Laura eventually married Stefan Cassadine, and they all live together on that island."
Lucky sniffled. "But they're all happy, right?"
Clarice looked directly at Lucky. "No. In fact, they're all quite miserable. Take Nikolas for example. You weren't there to teach him to be a real sibling, how to get along with a person despite the faults each person has. He lacks the sensitivity you helped give him. He has no close friends."
"Your sister lacks your guidance and support. Your mother is missing the
complete joy that you brought her. She senses that a big part of her is missing."
Clarice looked at Lucky, and she could see into every part of his soul. "And
I'm still not reaching you," she said softly.
"Dad. I have to find Dad," Lucky said, sprinting towards the club.
Lucky arrived at the nightclub, which had clearly seen better days. It looked dingy and dirty. Lucky entered the smoky club, filled with burnt out men and women looking for a strong but cheap drink. Lucky walked up to the bar. "Where's Luke?" he frantically asked the bartender.
"Where is he always?" He laughed bitterly. "He's having a talk with his good friend Jack in the back."
Lucky ran back to the office. He opened the door to find a huge mess. Liquor bottles and other trash littered the floor. The stale air was choked with cigar smoke. He found Luke drinking behind his desk.
"What do you want, kid?" Luke asked hoarsely.
Lucky stared at his father, or the man that was claiming to be him. Luke looked terrible. He was extremely thin, and his skin looked sallow. He was unkempt and needed a shave. His clothes were dirty and wrinkled.
"Dad?" was all Lucky managed to say.
"You got the wrong guy. I don't have a son," Luke said wearily.
Lucky's lower lip trembled involuntarily. "It's me, Lucky. Don't you know me, Dad?" Lucky was becoming more upset and agitated by the second.
"I already told you I don't have a son!" Luke said angrily. "So go pull your con on someone else."
Lucky quickly moved around the desk and faced Luke. "Come on, Dad. Look in my eyes. Can' t you see it? Don't tell me you don't know me!"
Luke carefully backed away from Lucky. "Claude! Call the cops!" he yelled.
"Forget it," Lucky gasped as he ran out the club's back door. He sobbed in the alley, his heart stung by his father's rejection.
Clarice longed to make Lucky feel better, but he needed to have this experience. She decided to just keep talking to him. "Your father was devastated by your mother's betrayal. After their divorce, he descended into despair. He drinks too much. He's isolated himself from everyone. You see, you weren't there to help him. You were very much a grounding influence for Luke. You brought out the best in him. You were his joy."
Lucky's mind was racing. There was only one person who could possibly help him now. Lucky started to run to the Hardy house.
A few minutes later, a breathless Lucky arrived. He frantically knocked on the door. A tired-looking Audrey answered.
"Oh, Mrs. Hardy. I'm so glad you're here. You've got to let me see Elizabeth."
Audrey's face clouded over. "How dare you ask me a question like that?"
Lucky's mind worked fast for an explanation. "Uh, I've been out of touch with Elizabeth for a while. What happened to her?"
Audrey barely held back her tears. "She's in Longmeadow Cemetery!" she said, then promptly closed the door in Lucky's face.
No, no. It can't be true, Lucky thought.
Lucky frantically ran towards the cemetery, his heart pounding with every step. He arrived and looked over the rows of graves, helpless as to where to start.
Then he saw Clarice standing at one headstone. He walked over and stared at it in shock.
Elizabeth Webber
1982-1998
Lucky fell to his knees as the realization hit him. His one true love, his Elizabeth, was dead. His body shook with sobs as he collapsed on the cold, hard ground.
He cried for a few minutes before he was able to put a coherent thought together. He sat up. "At least I know something. Since I was never born, I was never there to lead Elizabeth to believe we were going to the Valentine's Day dance. She never went to the park."
Clarice sighed. "I'm sorry, Lucky. She was in the park that night. She was still raped."
"Oh God," Lucky cried.
"But you weren't there to find Elizabeth. You weren't there to help her. She was so lost in despair that eventually she killed herself."
"No! No. She didn't!" Lucky sobbed.
"When a person is missing from the world, he leaves an awfully big hole," Clarice said simply.
Lucky wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Then I can rest knowing one thing. I know I didn't hurt Elizabeth by raping her as well."
Clarice got down on her knees and looked deeply into Lucky's eyes. "You don't have to worry about that Lucky. You didn't do it."
Lucky wanted to believe Clarice, just like he wanted to believe everyone else who said that. "How do you know?" he asked, exhausted.
Clarice looked up. "Permit me to break form here for a second." She took Lucky's hand. "Come on, Lucky, it's time to take a step into the past. I'll prove you didn't hurt Elizabeth."
Before Lucky could object, Clarice had already taken him somewhere far away. Somewhere he never wanted to be again.
He was speechless as he viewed the compound where he was Faison's prisoner for all of those months. "I can't be back here, I can't," he finally said.
Clarice smiled. "Relax, Lucky. I'm here to protect you. No one can hurt you."
"Why did you bring me here?" Lucky asked shakily.
"To jog your memories." She moved down the hallway. "Follow me."
Lucky forced himself to follow Clarice. Then she walked right into the place he dreaded most in the compound, the projection room.
"No, anywhere but here. Don't make me come in," he cried desperately.
"Lucky, be at peace. Know that you are safe in the presence of God's love." Clarice filled the room with a heavenly light. Lucky decided to trust something bigger than himself. He stepped into the room.
"Come closer, Lucky. I want to show you something," Clarice said.
Lucky slowly entered the room. Something seemed different about it since he'd seen it last.
"Take a good look around, Lucky. I think the light of the truth will reveal some things to you."
Lucky observed the room. It was no longer the imposing area of terror that it once was. He was able to see more clearly. He looked at the chair that he once was strapped into. He could see that the room was covered in microphones, speakers, and cameras.
"Lucky, why don't I just turn this machine on?" Clarice asked.
"No, don't do that. It turns on the projector…" he said, but it was no use. She had already started it.
Clarice moved behind Lucky and put her hands on his shoulders. "Lucky, think about this. I know you're afraid, but take a good look at what's on the screen."
Lucky could barely open his eyes, but he looked at the screen. There he saw images of violence, but it wasn't what he remembered. There he saw the carnage of war.
"It's not what you thought it was. Now how about if I add sound?" Clarice said, pushing another button.
"I love you, Lucky, I love you…" Suddenly, Lucky had an image of raping Elizabeth. "No!" he screamed.
"Lucky, close your eyes. Close them," Clarice implored.
Lucky closed his eyes. The image of him hurting Elizabeth faded.
"What do you hear?"
"I hear Elizabeth saying she loves me," Lucky whispered.
Clarice shut off the equipment. "All right, take a deep breath and think about what just happened."
Lucky sighed. "It was two different things."
"That when they were put together, jumbled some things up in your mind."
A realization was beginning to hit Lucky. "Then maybe the memory isn't real at all. Maybe it was pieced together," he said, daring not to hope.
"I have a feeling the rest will come to you in time, Lucky. You didn't do it," Clarice smiled.
"I didn't hurt Elizabeth. I didn't let her down," Lucky said hopefully for the first time in ages.
Clarice sighed. "But of course, none of this matters now, since you were never born."
Lucky turned to look at her in surprise. "You didn't really mean that, did you?"
"You wished you were never born, so it was done."
"No. No, not after I've come so far!" He sank to his knees. "I want to live again. I want to live again!"
Suddenly, there was a great flash of light, and Lucky found himself in his bed in his room at Laura's house. Lucky was breathing rapidly as he observed where he was. It must have been a dream. A crazy, wonderful dream.
Suddenly, Lesley Lu came bounding into the room. "Wake up, Lucky, it's Christmas!" she said excitedly.
Lucky's eyes grew wide with happiness. "Lulu!" he said happily. "You remember me!"
"Of course we remember you, Lucky," Laura said as she and Lesley entered the room.
"Mom! Grandma!" Lucky cried. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He rushed out of bed and caught his mother off guard with a hug.
Laura could see the joy in her son's eyes as she returned the hug.
"What's all the commotion about?" Nikolas asked sleepily as he maneuvered down the hall. He had decided to stay over at his mother's home for Christmas instead of waking up alone at his house.
"Nikolas! You're, you're you!" Lucky yelled happily as he moved out into the hallway. He nearly bowled Nikolas over with his hug.
Nikolas saw the unadulterated happiness that Lucky held, and he was ecstatic. "Of course I'm me, what are you talking about?"
"Never mind," Lucky said, his eyes shining. "Merry Christmas!"
Lulu was very excited to see her brother so happy. "Let's go downstairs," she said, taking his hand. She and Lucky tore down the stairs while Laura and Lesley helped Nikolas negotiate them on his crutches.
When everyone was downstairs, Lucky couldn't help but look at his family and smile. If he was with them, and they remembered him, then everything turned out ok. He was alive. He was alive!
Laura was very aware of the change in Lucky's demeanor. She had a hard time remembering a time when he was just as happy. Maybe it was never. She wondered what had changed his mind. Still, it didn't matter right this second. He was happy, and that was such a wonderful gift.
Laura collected herself, then spoke. "Lulu, why don't you start handing out presents to everyone?" Laura, Lesley Lu, Lesley, and Lucky were seated on the floor near the tree, and Nikolas was stretched out on a couch next to them.
Lulu handed a small box to Lucky first. He opened it carefully. Inside, there was a Bible. He opened it to the first page, where there was an inscription.
Dear Lucky,
When the road is long, when you think you've lost your way, always remember that God provides directions.
"Well, what is it, Lucky?" Laura asked.
"A gift from a friend," Lucky whispered. One he would never forget. He looked up at the angel on the top of the tree and smiled. Thanks, Clarice.