So he began slipping away to go walking. It helped to clear his head. When he was alone, he was finally able to drop the façade and let himself feel whatever he was feeling.
Lucky stared at the water. The river was remarkably calm considering the rain the town had received earlier. The current pushed the murky water along. Lucky admired its consistency- all the river did was run.
All Lucky wanted to do was run. He could go underground, taking on a new identity, as he so often did in childhood. He could go anywhere in the world, to a place where no one knew Lucky Spencer. It was an all too appealing fantasy.
However, every now and then, he would get a flash- a glimpse of his old self. He would feel it when he saw Lulu playing happily, when he heard the midnight train off in the distance, or when he saw Elizabeth smile. It was a small moment, but it felt like the real Lucky Spencer was there, just under the surface. It was enough to keep him around. He wanted to get back to himself, the Lucky he used to know, not the stranger he felt he was now.
The gentle current reminded Lucky of a day spent in Helena's yacht on the Aegean Sea.
Lucky stood in front of one of the windows in the stateroom, admiring the ocean.
"Good morning, Lucky." Helena cooed. "Did you sleep well?"
"No," he replied. His gaze never left the water.
"I'm very sorry to hear that." She moved to join him at the window. "The ocean is so calm today."
Lucky nodded.
"It's remarkable how man identifies with the sea. I suppose it is because our bodies are made up of water. We feel the pull of the tides." Helena adjusted the cuff of her jacket before speaking again. "The ocean can also match our moods- sometimes it's calm and serene, other times it's stormy and disturbed."
"Very philosophical. Where is this headed?"
"I understand your feelings, Lucky. You have just emerged from a very traumatic experience. You're yearning to feel at peace again."
"That's true." Lucky moved away from the window. "But why can't I try to get that from my home?"
Helena moved to stand next to Lucky. She could not help but be moved a little by the sadness in his eyes. Still, she could not give him what he wanted. Not yet, anyway.
"But do you really want to go back now, Lucky? You are in a very fragile state. You wouldn't want to return when so much is still unknown- how you will react, or what you're capable of," Helena carefully said, as she watched a flash of pain emerge in Lucky's eyes. "Things at your home have changed very much. You need time to regain your strength for the journey." She touched his cheek tenderly. "I can give you the time you need."
Lucky looked into Helena's eyes. "You are the only one who understands me."
Helena smiled. "I am the only one."
Lucky shook his head as he returned to the present. That wasn't even true anymore. Lucky had even lost his trust in Helena. The only feeling that remained was an overwhelming sense of loneliness. There was no one who could truly understand him anymore. Oh sure, everyone tried really hard, but he just couldn't let them in. He felt trapped in the tomb of his own despair. Still, there were flashes of light, and they kept him holding on, waiting for the stone to be rolled away.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Emily glanced over at Sly, who looked like he was resting peacefully, a little too peacefully. She moved over and put her hand on his chest, and felt better as she felt it rise and fall. Sly's eyes opened. "Can I help you?" he asked playfully.
She placed her head on his chest. "Just making sure you were still breathing."
Sly pulled her closer, breathing in the scent of her hair. His finger lightly traced her cheek. "About last night…" he said, turning serious. "Are you ok? I mean, I didn't… hurt you?"
Emily turned to face Sly. "You could never hurt me. Last night was wonderful. You made my first time so special." She looked deeply into his eyes.
"No regrets?" Sly asked.
Emily gave him a kiss. "No regrets."
Sly quickly glanced at the encroaching light on the floor. "I guess it's time for me to go."
"No, it's not morning yet," Emily protested.
"It may be gray and misty, but trust me, it's morning. Can't you hear the birds singing?"
Emily was about to respond when the phone rang. "I better get this." She picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Em- Emily?" Juan whispered.
"Juan, is that you?"
"Yeah." He sniffled a little.
"What's wrong?" There was silence on the line. "Juan?"
Sly grimaced at the name as he was getting dressed.
"Emily, could you please come here?"
"Juan, do you have any idea how early it is?"
"Emily, please," he pleaded. "It's about my father."
"Your father? Juan, what happened?" she repeated.
Juan started to cry. "He died last night."
Emily's face drained of all color. "Oh, Juan, I'm so sorry."
"Can you just get here?"
"I'll be there as soon as I can." She hung up the phone. She had started to cry herself.
Sly was immediately concerned. "Emily, what's wrong?"
She looked up at him. "Juan's father died," she whispered. "I've got to go see him."
"Of course." Sly's heart sank at the all too familiar news. "I'll go."
Emily reached up to kiss him. "Thank you for understanding."
He kissed her, then walked to the window. "I'll be in touch."
"Be careful."
Sly smiled at her wistfully then slipped away down the roof.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Emily was at the brownstone a half an hour later. Taggert answered the door. "Emily, I'm so glad you're here."
Emily walked into the apartment. "Mr. Santiago died?"
Taggert sighed. "He had a massive heart attack last night. I haven't been able to convince Juan to leave his room. I'm so glad he called you. He has to deal with this."
"I'll try to help," Emily said sadly. She walked back to his door. She carefully knocked. "Juan, can I come in?" She heard a soft murmuring, so she let herself in.
She found Juan kneeling, rosary beads in his hands. "Dios te salve Maria…" he whispered.
"Juan?" Emily approached slowly.
Juan turned around. "Oh, Emily. He's gone."
Emily sank to the floor and enveloped him in a hug. "I know, I know," she said as she rocked him in her arms.
Juan cried on her shoulder. "They called in the middle of the night. I still can't believe it."
"I know how hard this is, Juan. I've been there, remember? You'll get through this." Emily wiped a tear from his cheek.
Juan sighed. "I know, and it is such a comfort to know that you're there for me. I can't imagine what I would do without you, Emily."
Emily tried to smile, but his words were a dagger to her heart. How could she possibly tell him now about what happened with Sly? It would have to wait.
"That's why I have to ask you something." He wiped a tear off his cheek.
"Come to Puerto Rico with me."