 Why is the pain all in their head? Actually isn't it steming from their neurological system? Doesn't it have something to do with Substance P in a higher supply which creates a greater sensitivity (perception) of pain? Why can't they just get off their lazy rear ends and quit complaining about being tired? We all get tired. Maybe it has something to do with low blood volume (research is showing a decrease in blood volume in these folks (don't think about saying "Why don't they drink more?" If they drank anymore then people would complian that they live in the restroom!)What about the fact that when they stand up for a long time in line at the DMV, their brain and heart get confused which gives the message for their blood pull in their feet instead of go to the head. As a result they feel faint. When you rest or sleep you feel rested and reenergized. Their bodies don't. They feel a sense of exhaustion in every body cell which doesn't go away. Why don't they feel better after sleeping? Why do they complain about not sleeping at night? My family member with FM & CFS sleeps all night. They have what is called the alpha delta abnormality. Their brain stays awake when they go to sleep. While asleep their brain has awake brain waves (alpha brain waves) in their deep sleep (delta sleep). It's like they stay awake while asleep. According to "sleep experts" (doctors who "specialize" in sleep studies) will tell you people who have alpha waves in their delta sleep don't sleep well. Did you know everyone is suppost to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go when they wake up? (This doens't mean after the morning coffee or shower.) However people with FM don't get their restorative deep sleep which regenerates the body and brings healing. That's why they are stiff and sore in the morning. Why are they depressed and moody all the time? They just need to "get over it and get a life". Their body just needs to produce the correct amount of serotonin. Also have you ever experienced a loss of something or someone that was a big part of your life and who you were? Did you go through the grief process? Did you feel sad or depressed? Well people with FM & CFS lost their health and on top of that got pain and fatigue as a daily reminder. They had goals and ambitions which they lost. OK, Maybe that's true but I got over my loss. Why didn't they get over theirs and get on with life? Think about it. When you had your loss what was the response of your family, friends and society? Did they consider you a complianer with no reason for your grief? To put it another way, in past wars the soldiers came back from war to a heroe's welcome except for the vitnam veterans who came back to criticism and redicule. They also had truamatic events in their war different from all other wars. Why did they have such a hard time fitting back into normal life. (Many were alcoholics, drug addicts, had a lot of emotional and psychiatric problems) Why? Think about it. A common element was society's rejection. Do you see the coorelation? Neither felt support, acceptance or understanding. Both were told "they are crazy" and were outcasts of society. They weren't accepted socially. Face it society doesn't want the weak, lame, disabled people around. Society praises the athletes, movie stars, models, etc. It's sad but it's true. Why do they complain about bad memory? This is easy. Everyone has 3 parts to their memory. The working memory takes in and processes everything the person sees, hears, feels, tastes & feels. This then goes to the short term memory (where people hold phone numbers to dial or other things for just a short time). Much of this memory in short term memory then goes to the long term memory where all your memories are stored. Pretty simple process. You also have a retrieval process to recall things from memory. Some people's retrieval process obviously works better than others. Also just about all of us has some "learning disability" to deal with (spelling aphasia aka bad speller) which makes this entire process less than perfect. Add a little aging (as some people will blame) which causes it to decline a little. However people with CFS & FM, something goes wrong with the working memory. It goes on strike. It doesn't process information too well. It's overly distracted and unable to maintain focus. Also the retrieval process has problems pulling requested things from memory. Just like when anyone goes on strike the people they had served are frustrated, so is the person with the brain on stike. Why can't these problems be fixed? The sad news is medical science hasn't progressed to that point. CFS & FM takes a low priority compared to other medical conditions. When the CDC takes research funds designated for CFIDS research and put it to such things as measles, it just shows the mentality many in the medical community has. What can I do to help my family member or friend with CFS or FM? That's pretty easy. Remember the Golden Rule? Do unto others as you want them to do unto you. Simply treat them the way you would want them to treat you if you had CFIDS and they were healthy. There are some basic things in addition to the Golden Rule. They include: Learn as much about FM & CFS as you can. Help your family member gain knowledge about these conditions and get medical care from medical professionals who is knowledgeable or specializes in CFIDS. Just be there for them like you would want them to be there for you. Also help them find a support group where they can share their feelings and concerns about living with FM & CFS with others who have these conditions. There are support groups like this in many communities and also online. (I have links on my Overcomers page.) Back |