Good job.

Was it? Was it really a good job? Maybe in terms of everything going right, but I just couldn't get what I had done out of my head. I was never really paranoid about the police or getting caught. I came to terms with the fact that I could be caught and there was nothing I could do about it. It was more of the fact that you don't know. You don't know how it's going to go down or when you're going to get caught. I think the waiting is always more stressful then actually knowing. There's no closure in waiting, you don't know what's going to happen or how, all you know is that an answer is in limbo. I didn't know if anyone was hurt or if everyone made it out. I could have had countless families in limbo, not knowing what has happened to their loved ones. I think that bothered me more then the act itself. I've dealt with people all my life, forcing them around, telling them what to do, who they could talk to, who they couldn't. I've never endangered someone before that night though, and I didn't even know if I actually hurt anyone.

In that line of business, you need to detach yourself. If you don't, you'll never make it.

The drive home felt like it took ages. I couldn't get the voice on the phone out of my head, "Good job" just kept repeating itself over and over. I could still hear the sirens faintly, I could have turned on the radio but no. I didn't, there was something surreal about the whole situation. I wasn't sure what it was at the time and to be honest, I'm still not sure. Maybe it was a strike of consciousness and I realized what I did was wrong and I didn't want to lose the moment, maybe I wanted to take the moment back. Or maybe it felt good, I had played god with the lives of a bunch of people, I could have decided whether they lived or died. I don't know what it was, and I still don't. As long as the sirens and the repeating were heard, nothing seemed real.

Once I found a parking spot outside of my building, I felt compelled to just sit there for a moment and enjoy the night. Try and relax, take everything that has happened in and accept what I have done. It's hard to explain what you feel after a night like that. It's almost like when you're a child and you do things you know are wrong, but you do them anyway for the thrill of it. You know there's going to be consequences when you get caught, but god damn is it fun when you're actually doing it. Now imagine that feeling without having any consequences, it's a twenty four seven high. As wrong as it was and how guilty I felt, it was still a high, a rush, adrenaline pumping.

I barely slept that night. I got an hour here and an hour there, but I just couldn't stay asleep. I didn't know if it was late or early every time I woke up and looked at the clock. It was one of those nights where you just can't fall into a deep sleep, but you doze in and out for an hour or so and then wake up and feel like you never fell asleep. Everyone has had one of those nights and they aren't fun. It had to be close to six AM when I decided a double shot of whiskey and some sleeping pills would do the trick.

Drug induced sleep is always the worst kind. It's like downing NyQuil and then just laying there on the high and feeling terrible. You fall asleep feeling terrible and you wake up feeling empty. You could sleep for hours and still never feel rested after waking up from one of those nights, even though most of the time, it's one of the most sound sleeps you'll ever have. Until you begin to wake up. Every half hour you wake up for a minute, then fall back asleep, making it feel almost impossible to wake up. Eye lids heavy, stomach twisting, no feeling.

I didn't care.

Until the phone rang.

I could hear it, but couldn't tell if it was a dream or if I was awake. Awake with my eyes closed, I just laid there, the piercing ring destroying my ears, then it stopped. A minute later, again. That's when I knew it wasn't a dream and I had to answer it. I could barely open my eyes and everything was a blur. I woke up disoriented not quite sure where I was or what I was doing. I was just reacting to what was happening. A phone rings, you answer it, it's a reaction.

"What?" Usually, I didn't say anything when I answered the phone, but I wasn't me this morning. Nothing felt right.

Fucking pills.

"Morning sunshine." It was Johnny, "Have you seen the paper yet today?" He sounded rather chipper, not exactly something I felt like dealing with in the current state I was in so I didn't say anything. I just laid there with the phone barely to my ear. "I'm going to assume you haven't since it sounds like you've been hit by a truck. Either way, you're money should be inside your door and I'd suggest taking a peek at the paper when you get a chance. I'm gonna drop by in a little bit, hour or so I guess."

"Yeah okay." I hung up the phone and tossed it to the floor. It was a tough decision but I decided to get out of bed. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I almost forgot about what had happen last night. I was more concerned with how terrible I felt and didn't want to get up. Then I realized what he had told me, my money was inside my door. The feeling of not being safe ran through me, like I'm sure it would anyone else if you knew while you were sleeping, someone has entered your home. Granted they just dropped off the money, it's still the feeling of insecurity. Nonetheless, I got up rather quickly and left my bed room, taking a quick look around to see if anything was out of place. There wasn't, but there was a large black leather bag sitting right inside my door. I knew I shouldn't have been suspicious but I was. I nudged the bag with my foot before I picked it up, I'd never dealt with anything like this before and I wasn't sure if there was going to be anything in there that would stab, poke, cut, or blow me up.

Nothing happened when I nudged the bag, so I lifted it and carried it to my dining room table. When I set it down I heard a click, I wasn't quite sure what it was so I opened the bag..

No money, no check, just two large containers with a clock counting down on it. This was it, ground zero.

Right as the clock hit zero and a loud explosion occurred, I jumped up from my sitting position on the bed. I had dozed off after I decided to get up and what not.

Fucking pills.

After the series of events that just went on in my dream world, I seemed to follow the same motions I took in my dream.

Glance around my place to see if anything was missing or moved, check. Nudge the bag with my foot, check. Pick the bag up and move to the dining room table, check.

There wasn't any sort of click this time though and when I opened the bag, it was just cash. Cold hard cash. "How the fuck am I going to deposit this in the bank?" I said out loud. I didn't like having large amounts of cash on me, and there was no way I was going to drop this off at the bank without people asking questions. I zipped the bag back up and just sat there for a moment thinking about what I was going to do with it. I figured I'd just have to drop it off in chunks of money. I was still feeling the effects of the pills so I wasn't thinking to clearly, I decided to get myself a glass of water. Before I could accomplish it though, there was a knock on my door. I wasn't even dressed yet, still in my boxers I became quite irritable. I had no chance to relax, wake up, anything.

"What?!" I yelled from my kitchen, "It's me, open up." Jesus Christ, apparently Johnny had called from downstairs, I didn't expect him to be here this early. "Wait." I shouted as I walked to my room to grab a pair of pants. "What the fuck man, I ain't got all day to stand out here and yell at a door." Too fucking bad, I thought. I was in no mood for shit that day. I was passed the depression and denial stage of what I had done and moved onto anger.

When I opened the door for Johnny, he had two cups of coffee and a news paper tucked under his arm. "Bout time." I heard him mumble as he passed by me and walked to my kitchen. "How did they get into my place to drop off the money?" I was pretty annoyed and wasn't looking to have a quiet breakfast and read the paper with him. "Who do you think owns this building, Vinny? Come on man, use your head." It made sense, I didn't like it, but it made sense. "I brought you a cappuccino and the paper, looks like you need the java, and I'm pretty sure you want to check out the paper." He looked pretty confident in himself, as per usual. "Why would you assume that?" I asked him as I sat down at the table. He opened up the paper and slid it across the table with the coffee. "Page three." I took a sip of the coffee, god damn it was good. I don't know where he had got it, but it was the best cappuccino I'd had ever tasted. I haven't had a cup quite like that since.

As I flipped the paper to page three, there was a small six inch article about the fire last night. Bunny Palace burns due to faulty wiring was the headline. I couldn't believe what I was reading. My jaw had to drop a bit as I continued to read down the article, apparently no one died but a few people were hospitalized from burns and inhaling too much smoke. That wasn't what was bothering me though, how does a fire that started in the women's bathroom in a trash can, get turned into a electrical fire. I was stunned for a moment. I took another sip of my coffee and then it hit me. I looked up to Johnny and he knew what I was thinking, he just nodded.

The police department, the fire department, the media? Were they all in the pocket of Scavello? I didn't know. I just couldn't believe this was happening, I was relieved in a way, but at the same time. It just didn't feel right. I was getting away with torching a place and no one was even going to ask any questions. "Well this is good I suppose." I started, still looking down at the paper and taking a sip of coffee every few seconds. The nervousness was gone from the night before, I felt like I was just washed clean of everything, however, it still didn't feel right. "But why BP?" I had to ask, the question had been bugging me ever since I was told I had to do the job. Johnny's smile faded a bit, but he still sounded pretty confident, happy, whatever. "The Boss just wanted to make sure you were with us. You worked there for awhile, figured you had some sort of connection with the place, I don't know." So there was no reason, he just wanted to see if I'd do it. How quaint.

That isn't what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear of corruption, not paying "The Boss" anything other then what I was told would have sufficed. I had friends that worked there, I had worked there for awhile, it was clean. And I destroyed it. I guess Johnny could see I was getting pretty angry, "Hey, at least it paid off, eh?" he nodded his head toward the bag. I just leaned back in my chair and drank some more coffee, not saying a word. It was a familiar picture, the two of us, him normally pissing me off, or just saying something stupid. Then he leaned forward. "Listen Vinny. You need to lose all your attachments, this job is serious business and we can't have people doing big jobs for us who can't get it done. You can either stop feeling bad for yourself and everyone else, and look at it as business. Or you get out of it before you're in too deep. The way things are going right now, you aren't going to get caught, we'll make sure of that. You just need to do your job and enjoy the money you're making." He stopped for a moment to have a sip of his own coffee. He sat back in his chair and took a breath, letting out a sigh. "We brought you in cause you have a low profile. Not many friends, no real family that we could muster up, you come off as stone, Vinny. Stone." Johnny paused for a moment and just stared down at me, "Now, are you in or are you out?"

It all seemed like stuff I had seen in the movies. I never expected anything like this to come of me, but he was right. I didn't have many friends, I hadn't talked to my family in years, I was just me. Fending for myself.

It was then I decided detach myself. I was just going to do what I had to do to get by. I wasn't going to worry about the consequences because apparently as I was led to believe, there was none. I felt untouchable.

I nodded at Johnny, "Okay, what's next?" A ear to ear smile came across Johnny's face. "We'll call ya, most likely later tonight. I think The Boss is going to want to have a face to face." Johnny got up from the chair and pushed it back in, "Alright, I'm out of here, glad we got everything taken care of." I just nodded and picked up the paper, I took one last glance at the article about the fire and then began flipping through the rest of it.

I'm not sure how long I sat there and just stared at the paper, not really reading anything, just looking. All kinds of emotions were running through me that day, I was basically told I was able to do whatever with out any consequence. People only dream for those kind of opportunities and I had it. I was making great money, I was able to do things that I soon learned to look at as business. Life was good. I didn't know how long it would last, I was hoping forever, but no one is ever that lucky. It never occurred to me that I was possibly walking, no, not walking, running down a path to self destruction. I was normally a calm, cool, and collected individual. I liked to think about my decisions and how I would handle them. Recently I was doing much of that when it came to my life, but with jobs, I was near flawless.

My workout that day seemed more fulfilling then any other work out I've ever had. I felt fuckin' great after it, I haven't felt that good since. Maybe it was my realizations that I had that day, maybe it was the circumstances I was under, I don't know. But that day, everything seemed to be going swimmingly. It seemed like nothing could ever go wrong and everything felt great. Best cup of coffee, best work out, days like that don't come often and they haven't come to me since then. I'd die to relive those moments of my life, but they are dead and gone, but here I am. Still standing.

The cell rang around seven PM, I was supposed to be outside of my building at seven forty five. That's all it said, I wasn't sure exactly what it meant, but I had figured I was just getting picked up. So I washed up quick, through on a clean pair of pants, dress shirt and my jacket. I wasn't sure where we were going so I made myself look presentable and stylish just incase.

I was correct, I stepped outside my building at seven forty five exactly and there was a car outside waiting for me. A man I haven't seen before standing outside waiting to open the door, just a random driver I thought to myself. It was a nice car, a new Lincoln Town Car. The divider in the back was up and there was no button to bring it down to speak with the driver. It was kind of odd, I had never been in the back of the car, I had been in his position many times though, and I knew keeping the divider up was part of the job.

The drive was silent and some what awkward but I got over it quickly, mainly because the drive wasn't even that long. A few minutes, tops. We pulled up on 56th and Broadway in Manhattan, right outside of Bar American, celebrity chef, Bobby Flay's restaurant. The driver got out and opened the door, I stepped out of the car and walked inside the restaurant. I had never been inside and it was a good thing I got dressed up. The place was packed with people, the dimly lit restaurant was somewhat enchanting to look at. The interior being well placed and very modern, everything just seemed to fit. There was a bit of a line to speak to the host who was attending to people, but as I stepped through the door and he looked up and noticed me, he seemed to tell the group he was dealing with to wait a moment and he approached me.

"Mister Kane?" I was surprised that he knew who I was, "Yes." I replied a bit taken back. "Follow me, Mister Scavello is waiting for you." The host started towards the back of the restaurant at a pretty quick pace, I was taking long strides trying to keep up, and avoiding bumping into waiters and waitress'. The table he led me to was way in the back, and the couple tables surrounding the booth we were at were empty. "The Boss" and Johnny were already at the table with drinks in front of them, both smiling as I walked up. The Host laid down a menu and did a half bow and then worked back to his post at the front of the restaurant.

"Have a seat, Vincent." I was feeling a bit nervous being around this man, all the power in the world, and I'm having dinner with him. "How's it goin, Vinny?" Johnny said as he took a drink of his whatever on the rocks. I remained silent, still not quite comfortable with what was going on.

"You did quite well last night, Vincent. I was happy to see you could complete your tasks without any interference." Scavello's eyes seemed to pierce right through me, I couldn't tell if he was being serious or if I had done something wrong. "I did what I could."

"Would you like a drink?" Before I could answer, Scavello was already motioning towards a waiter who was off to the side, just standing there. A personal waiter, I was impressed.

"Yes, sir?" The waiter was obviously timid. "My associate has a request." Scavello nodded at me, "Whiskey, straight up." My usual drink, I wasn't into anything fancy and I didn't drink often. I don't do beer, straight up whiskey was all I needed. "Make sure it's the best you have, Miguel." He waiter turned around and nodded at Mister Scavello.

"So Vincent, why don't you tell me a little about yourself. Where are you from, where your family is? You know, the usual light conversation." He came across as a cocky man, but he pulled it off great, in a position of power like he had himself in, he could come across however he wanted and no one could do anything about it. However I was there for business, not conversation.

"In all do respect, Boss. I'd like to get right down to business and be on my way." Miguel, the waiter, had just arrived with my drink and I downed it before he even got a chance to walk away. I slapped my hand on the table so he knew I needed another one. God know's where I got the balls to talk to Scavello like that, but it did call for another drink.

Scavello was obviously taken back by my straight forwardness and he looked over at Johnny quite surprised. Johnny himself, didn't seem to believe it and his eyes were darting around frantically. Most of the time, landing right on me with a look of "What the fuck did you just do" on his face. "I like him. Straight forward. A man of business, just like myself." Scavello laughed a bit, Johnny following him. I just sat there waiting to find out what he wanted on me so I could be on my way.

"Okay then," he continued, "I need someone taken care of." I was confused for a second, I wasn't quite sure what he meant. "A man who works for me, just a messenger boy, he got too close and knows a bit too much. I don't trust him. I need him taken care of." It all became clear to me right there.

All those great feelings I had earlier, of being untouchable, yeah, they were gone.

"You want me to kill someone?" I couldn't believe what I was being told to do. I thought arson was bad, now I have to murder someone? I knew right there that I was in too deep. Miguel brought over my second drink, I downed it again. He went to take my glass for another one, but I stopped him. Scavello just nodded at the boy and he went back to where he was standing waiting to be beckoned over again.

"If you must be so blunt.. Yes, I do." I looked over at Johnny and he just shrugged and looked away. I went from being untouchable to being empty. "Of course, Vincent, You'll be generously awarded and you won't have to worry about the authorities. I'll take care of them. You just need to do the work." I went from being an arsonist to being asked to be a Hitman all in the course of a day. In hindsight, something didn't seem right, but I didn't catch it right there. I didn't catch it when I had to.

"How much?" I couldn't even look at him.

"Two hundred fifty thousand."

"I'll do it."

Apparently to me, a life was only worth two hundred fifty thousand dollars.