Bass, Backup Vocals     Well... I have to pee... but I guess I’ll take time out of my busy schedule to write my biography. Joseph O. Ergish (that’s me!) was born a long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.  Or, in Presbyterian Hospital in Albuquerque, NM…. (whichever comes first).  At age 5, my parents decided to move us down south, or Los Lunas, that is.  They took me out to an empty lot, in the middle of the desert, and told me to start digging a hole; cause that’s where I would spend the rest of my short life.   Fast forward to my adult life, let’s just skip that whole messy part during my adolescence, when I experimented with sex and drugs (Whoooaa…)  Just after graduating high school, I picked up the bass guitar.  If I remember correctly, it was right after that night with the Siamese twins (damn, they were hot!) In a drug-induced haze, it was then that I knew that I wanted to be just like Tommy Shannon (of Stevie Ray Vaughan, in Double Trouble, for those of you playing at home.)  But, I was very poor and couldn’t afford the equipment, as I’d spent all my money on porn.  My sex-life, when I first picked up the bass, was in a little bit of a dry-spell.  But I dreamed of the day when I would be the slut playing bass onstage.  So I took to my ambitions, and held fast to my dreams.  Wait... where was I?  Oh yes!  So anyway... I went down the street to see my good friend, Marty Callahan, to ask if he had an amp that I could use.  Then he said to me, and I quote, "I’m gonna buy a drumset, and we should jam!"   Confused, I went to a corner of the room, twiddled my thumbs, and thought it over long and hard.  While visions of big-bottomed women in thongs danced in my head, Marty asked, "What the hell are you doing in the corner?"  At the point, I had made my decision, so I took a deep breath and said, "Cool."   Okay, I can’t hold my pee any longer.  Hold on.   Okay, I’m back.  Now where was I?  Oh, yes!  We first started learning "hard-core" music, from bands like... Journey, Styx, and Holl And Oats.  Aww, those were the days!  But that music gave me nightmares (in fact, for you ladies out there, I still don’t like sleeping alone.  Wink-wink.)  So anyway, we decided to focus on the blues.  Cause it’s happy! Then one day, a lone guitar slinger (western music plays in the background) named... um... um... Chris Norman strolled through the swinging doors... oh wait... wrong story.  Anyway, we asked Chris if he wanted to jam with us.  So he went to the same corner I had a few years earlier.  After a few moments, he turned and faced us, with a twinkle in his eye, and said, "Cool."  Baby Vincent Black Shadows was born. Over the next few years we had several swinger parties... er, I mean, jam sessions!  Till the day came, when the lone guitar slinger hung his head low, sighed heavily and said, "I suck!  Lets find a new singer!" After going through several swingers, uh... I mean singers, we strolled into a coffee shop.  And it was at that moment, that we heard the most gag-inducing, tone-deaf moan coming from the stage.  Thank Gawd that lady got off the stage fast!  Then the spotlight fell onto an empty spot on the stage ( I’m just glad no one was standing there.)  The audience became as silent as those padded rooms, where I spent my vacation.  Nothing, but the sound of the crickets outside in the September air, could be heard.  And then out of the shadows, a young man with his guitar stepped onstage.  He began to sing and play his guitar, and it sounded like a man singing and playing guitar.  So... Marty, Chris, and I all walked to three separate corners of the room.  When the man had finished his song, we all looked at each other, and said in unison, "Cool."   But he was already in a band!  All that work for nothing!  But, Chris got his number, and asked the man, who by the way is named Jim Connors, to join our band.  So, Jim went to a corner in the room, twiddled his thumbs, and thought it over.  We sat, nervously wondering if we would have a new singer.  We placed our order, I hit on the waitress.  She hit me back and told me to get the hell out.  Then our food came, and as we glanced over, Jim was still in the corner.  As we ate, we tried to ignore the strange noises we heard coming from the corner.  We finished our meal, started to play poker,  and Chris drew a hopscotch on the floor.  The waitress walked by again and said to me, "You’re still here?" and this whole time, Jim was still in the corner of the room.  We returned to the same diner weeks later, and asked Jim, "What are you doing?"  He turned with a jerk, Steve Martin left, and said, "Oh yeah... right on!"   So we knew Jim didn’t quite fit in, but the three of us still nodded in unison and said, "Cool."  Thus, the three became four.   Now that I’ve told you about everyone else, let’s get back to me!  For you ladies out there:  I’m a Libra, who enjoys long walks on the beach, sex, candlelit dinners before sex, and relaxing at home after I have sex.  Presently, I am 25 years old, I am single, I’m 6’ 1", single, my favorite color is green, and I’m single.  I enjoy listening to Stevie Ray Vaughan, Eric Clapton, The Refreshments, Primus, Enya, G.G. Allen (but I don’t like watching him too much) and The Monkees!  I’m inspired by Les Claypool, Flea, Tommy Shannon, Nikki Sixx, John Paul Jones, and that dude from Rush.  But my favorite is that bass player from The Vincent Black Shadows... Oh My Gawd, he is like so hot... and single!  Are you still reading this?  If you are, you rock!  So, allow me to continue…   So to wrap things up, I hope you enjoy our music, and the funny light-heartedness of the website, constructed by Vincent Black Shadows.     Joe’s Personal Quotes   " I may rock, but I’m not made of stone." -Hank.    "Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should."  -Joe.   "Yah, he’s my brother."  -Crystal.   "When things get hard, masturbate."  -Joe.    "Joe, you’re a dork."  -Teresa.    "No, I will not have sex with you!  EVER!"  -Holly.       View The Apostle's Equipment List