Carissa Hood aka Charisma
Selah
a little girl.
serious and true.
hurt by many, she loves them more.
apathy creeps into her heart.
compassion shows itself only every week.
scared to be a window,
she closes the curtains.
her round, red nose falls off when she yells,
fumbling to catch it...
an embarressed smirk covering the years of pain.
broken promises,
broken trust,
she needs to be real before
she becomes like them.
afraid to be loved
God can't be trusted
smiles handed out to everyone she meets.
they are sincere.
someone compliments her
on what she dosen't know.
she always tries to please.
hypocrisy is a masked burden.
who am I?
God is revealing himself in me...slowly,
trying to make her understand
what she means to him.
she is almost where
they say
you have to
try without
your mommy.
the guy in the sky is right beside.
does he really love me?
too much for comprehension.
people.
she tries to understand them.
maybe tomorrow someone will listen.
tears help her escape when she
dosen't know what to do.
silence is in her home
until they go their seperate ways
ripping her heart in two.
what do the boys say?
they are my friends.
our red noses are bigger, now
another statistic added to the stack.
God has his hand underneath.
His heart is breaking, listening
to the pleas of his children.
His giant tears splash all around her
baptizing me in amazing grace.
he is the only one who sees
behind the curtains,
but she will not tell hom what he already knows.
she's starting to love again.
he's streching her heart to make room
for the world.
(Jan. 26-27, 1999)
Carissa is the one hugging the pole. The other two are Pam and Ryan. These are a few of my bestest buds!! I love them soooo much! This is her page.
Merge
God! My Soul is weighed down
my heart is saturated with sin!
How can I know you?
For you are too Holy.
I try to run to you;
faster;
harder;
Where did it go?
Out of breath,
no energy left.
Help me Oh God!
Anxiety wells up within me!
Get rid of it!
Let me drown in your river Lord...
Let your waters seep into the pores of my very being, Let me drink deeply so I can never be thirsty again!
My throat is dry.
My tongue is swollen.
Why will I not accept you?
Why do I not let myself know of your love for me?
You are too lofty for me,
this is my mistake.
You ARE too holy, yet
I was created for an
intimate relationship with you!
I will not surrender myself to you.
You have so many great plans for me.
But I am afraid of men.
My mind wanders,
sudden thoughts attack my mind!
They are devouring my soul!
When did I stray? How did this happen?
There is blood on my hands!
Who did I miss? Why am I so scared?
Do I not know that it is for an eternity?
Hell was not an option, Jesus made it one.
Heaven.
We must love them with our lives!
the Love God gives to us!
Rip out my heart!
Throw it away!
break it the way yours does everytime
you watch us turn our backs on you.
Fill it to overflowing,
with love for you.
Then I will be able to love them....
(November 6th 1998)