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| WANTED: Name: A Menace To Society! Reward: Eternal Gratitude Warning: Armed and Hungry Nine Lives, Sask. - Last Night - This evil specimen excaped its dwelling and made its way to the local drinking establishment. When the creature could not produce proper identification, the manager threw the monster out. There are now reports of three truned over trash cans. The people of Nine Lives expressed that they do not stand a chance. |
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| Local Beast Makes Bad |
| Women Now Have The Right to Choose Between Love and Money |
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| Fort Locked Up, Man. - Today - The lawmakers of the land have decided that women have the right to choose between love and money. After one hundred and thirty-eight years in the courts, it was ruled that, women do have the capacity to make such decisions. |
| Women will be seen making this action! |
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