Employee Evaluation
These performance reviews are getting tougher all the time.
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Employee Evaluation
Name: ___________________________ Date: ______________________
Position: ___________________________
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Knowledge:
[ ] The Son of a Bitch Really Knows His Shit!
[ ] Knows Just Enough To Be Dangerous.
[ ] Only Has Half a Brain and is Dangerous.
[ ] Brain Damaged, His Coffee Cup Has a Higher IQ.
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Accuracy:
[ ] Does Excellent Work If Not Pre-occupied With Sex.
[ ] Pretty Good; Only Occasionally Blows it Out His Ass.
[ ] Has to Take His Shoes Off To Count Higher Than Ten.
[ ] Couldn't Count His Balls And Get The Same Number Twice.
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Attitude:
[ ] Extremely Cooperative (If You Kiss His Ass Daily).
[ ] Brown Noser In Good Standing.
[ ] Often Pisses Off Co-Workers, Thinks He Owns the Damn Place
[ ] Doesn't Give A Shit, Never Did, Never Will.
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Reliability:
[ ] Really A Dependable Bastard.
[ ] Works So Hard That He Has To Take An Extra Day Off Each Week.
[ ] Can Rely On Him To Be The First One Out The Door.
[ ] Totally Worthless.
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Appearance:
[ ] Extremely Neat, Even Combs His Pubic Hair.
[ ] Looks Great On His Days Off.
[ ] Dirty, Filthy, Smelly Son Of a Bitch.
[ ] Flies Leave Fresh Dog Shit To Follow Him.
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Performance:
[ ] Goes Like A Son Of A Bitch...If There's Money In It For Him.
[ ] Does All Kinds of Good Shit At Evaluation Time.
[ ] Works Well After An Enema.
[ ] Couldn't Do Less If He Were In A Coma.
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Leadership:
[ ] Carries A Chain saw And Gets Good Results.
[ ] Macho Attitude, Commands Total Disgust.
[ ] Dog Fasted For Three Day Last Time He Brought Home Pork Chops.
[ ] Mother Teresa Told Him to Get Screwed.
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I UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE BEEN COUNSELED AND UNDERSTAND MY RIGHTS UNDER
THE
PRIVACY ACT OF 1974. I FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I AM FUCKED UP AND WORTHLESS
AS A FOOTBALL BAT, AND I WILL MAKE SOME KIND OF ATTEMPT TO CORRECT MY OBVIOUS
DEFICIENCES.
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Employee Signature (If He Can Write)
(
geocities.com/vahid_nasiri)