i'm getting married. my mom has stated that if certain relatives are invited she won't show up. i live with said relatives. if i invite them, she doesn't show. if she comes, they're not invited. i've decided to hell with them all. i'm eloping. and no one, not even the angels in the heavens, knows the day or time. (yes, my wedding is just like armageddon.)
the ridiculous thing is that all of this is at least six months away. someone could offer to bankroll it if they really care that much, not that i'd take the money, but the main issue with not having a big wedding right now is money. we want to pay for this all ourselves; we don't want our parents inviting half the world; we don't particularly want to invite the majority of our relatives, most of whom see us with comet frequency.
there are two things about this which really piss me off. one, my mom says my sister (who is supposed to be my maid of honor) will be disappointed. well, yeah, but she and my best friend get to be my maids of honor in our big wedding. i still want it. that's what it's there for. if i didn't want that, we'd elope and that'd be the end of it. besides which, guilt-tripping me doesn't change the fact that we don't have the money for a traditional wedding right now (and i doubt my sister has the money to be a maid of honor, with all that entails). the other thing which steams my pants (hm...that doesn't sound quite the way i intended it to sound) is that my mom's stating it's less stressful for her to boycott our wedding than it is for her to sit at a dinner table for an hour with people she doesn't like. hell, people do that every day and do so on far less auspicious occasions. she should suck it up. i'm fucking sick of my mom threatening to break ties in one way or another, kicking up her pissy little temper tantrums, if she doesn't like what's going on.
ok. on a slightly calmer note, i'll acknowledge what's going on. my mom is (she won't ever admit this) petrified by my dad's family, not without just cause; they can be caustic and abusive. i've seen them in action. i've lived with it. and she feels a lot of anger and resentment even thinking about them. i don't want to see her sitting across a table from them; she'd be petulant and biting and bait them into an argument. both sides would lose their tempers. what is supposed to be a joyous occasion would turn into mud wrestling. i won't stand for that at my wedding. at a larger ceremony, everyone can pretty much avoid everyone else satisfactorily. i'm worried only about something like the situation i described above, with perhaps five or six people involved. i won't do that, not to mention this completely leaves out the possibility of my fiance's family coming and i don't think he or they would go for that (well, he probably would). so they can all go to hell.