Personal Quotes
You're such an accident.
A: Who grows up and says they want to be a deep sea diver?!
B: As opposed to a shallow sea diver?
A: Oh right, no diving. Guess my job is useless.
A: do birds have to have a boy to have babies?
B: um..yes..they are mammals
A: i don't think that has anything to do with sexual or asexualness
B: all mammals are sexual...they have penal appendages
A: my boy birds never had penal appendages
B: did you ever try to have sex with them?
A: no...they didn't have penal appendages!
(five minutes passes)
A: have you ever seen birds have sex?
Don't be one of those girls that lets a guy undress her and does nothing to help him. Like, you're sitting there totally naked and the guy is fully clothed! What the hell am I supposed to do? Strip myself?!
Guy: So shoes are your favorite accessory?
Girl: well, right behind these [points to boobs]
Uh, I dropped my keys, do you think you could pick them up for me? But you've gotta do it with your back to me, without bending your knees.
Ok, now that I'm done sitting here, I thought I'd let you know I can see right up your skirt. HEY, ANYONE WANNA PAY ME FIVE DOLLARS TO SIT HERE? YOU CAN SEE UP HER SKIRT!
A: Do you know that guy?
B: Yea, that's Samir.
A: [runs down the hill, waving arms] SAMIR! SAMIR! HEY SAMIR!
B: Well, actually I've never seen that guy before. But Samir seemed like a good name.
At least she went out with a bang. Get it, A BANG? HAHAH
Once you've spent time in a mental hospital, you realize gossip is not the worst thing that could happen to you.
Put your clothes around your boob?
SMOKING IS COOL AND YOU KNOW IT!
Seduce him with your wristknobs.
She makes him rise like yeast.
I've gotta start saving for Ross's party, so I think I'll stay home and eat dust bunnies.
Look ma, I'm a picasso!
DANGER: metro splatter zone
Nobody ever blames the bean bag
But the Darwin fish has a penis, right?
Let's go back to my place and get quadrapelegic
After you have sex with me, you'll be running in the special olympics
It's better than animal planet...it's "when white trash kittens attack"
That's my Joey pocket. GET IN MY POCKET! Aw shit, hold my hand.
It's the Queen of Shadiness and the Duchess of Shadiness.
Bob, I didn't do my homework...SPANK ME!
Is a grown up lamb called a lamb too?
No! That's the baby of a squirrel and a rat. - Well why don't they just call it a scrat? A sqrat?
Eh, there's always another Christmas.
Girl, MA FOOT IS MA CADILLAC!
There's always an eskimo in my way, right Cory?
What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the one who made you cry?
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
She said the words "I worship you." WHO SAYS THAT?? - Yea, you worship gods, not people. And even that's a little weird.
I'm sorry maam, you're going to have to check that. - Yea, that's why you don't see many people bringing home rocks.
They migrate in mass quantities to the ocean and then they drown themselves. But they're fuzzy little animals, not sea creatures, so it's really funny!
I've learned not to discriminate on the basis of the human condition. I mean, you can't ask a Chinese person to have round eyes.
Spring 2001 Semester Rewind
- Leah doesn't know what the inside of a classroom looks like
- Larissa vaguely remembers, but at least knows the names of her classes
- the clotheslining at the golf course lives on
- hitting the snow face first in one glove...STILL sucks
- "hey now, is that chair always in the middle of the circle?" - "only when you're drunk"
- Foot ["I'm doing a project, my foot is sleeping" "I'm lonely, my foot went home" "my foot and I are at the park"]
- how great is it to cause a car accident without even being in a car or being within 15 feet of the accident? just ask Meg or I
- "hi I'm Frank"
- I'm having a bad day...fuck it, bad week...let's go dye our hair
- mudslides, blenders, Larissa...no good. "oh whoops, I guess that wasn't cool"
- "I think I'll name him Benjamin, for you"
- "just baste the thing why don't ya?!?"
- yea, well one time Mike was playing his bass and....AHHH DON'T TELL US THAT!
- I'm hunting the elusive Athol Fugard...do you know who I am? huh, how bout now??
- I still hold that I dominated the bouncy boxing ring
- "name's big momma...GIRL MA FOOT IS MA CADILLAC!...remember, even when life seem bad, God is good...no food, no fun!...anybody give you any problem, you bring em to big momma, she take care of em...alright, you party people got places to go, God bless! [still following down the street]" "preach on sista, preach on"
- kahlua and milk...a rare treat
- "hey, will you strip for john's party??" "I know this is last minute, but you wanna strip for Craig's party? we'll find a cake or something for you to jump out of"
- bobos
- triple x
- a: is that your roomate knocking on the door??
b: I dunno, probably
a: can I go give him a big welcome home hug??
b: go for it
a: [swings the door open and almost attempts to jump on the fellow outside it]
exterminator: uh hi, pest man here
later - a: damnit, I thought that was your roomate. he'd be quite the trickster
- "NOOO I got these pants for Christmas!!" "eh, there's always another Christmas"
- come to me little scrats
- at least she went out with a bang. get it?! A BANG!
- assume the College Park position!
- jigger who, jigger what?
- riding the pony and doing the lawnmower...two thumbs up
- some people just weren't meant to drink and freestyle in the same night
- guy: so shoes are your favorite accessory?
girl: well, right behind these [points to boobs]
- "where are you ladies going?" "up to Anne Arundel" "alright then, have a good night" "what the hell?! are we that geeky? don't we look scary? we could blow this place up, I swear!"
quotes that aren't mine