To:
Subject: Greeting from the ER!
Date: Monday, July 09, 2001 9:27AM
You're probably thinking, "I know thet ER is the abbreviation for Emergency Room, but Darren must mean something else." Let's see.....
So, compared to my last email, this one has a different taste to it. The theme of this weekend was I really have fun with my family, and being with some of my friends literally pains me.
I woke up in a coffin. I could see a light near my feet and a blue line on the top going the full length of this thing. "Darren, are you alright? We're going to run a few more tests now." a voice said all around me. Where am I?
The weekend began with the arrival of my parents and grandmothers. Dinner was nice, the whole family was sitting around the table and I told my Nantucket Saga (if you haven't heard about it...where've you been?) and my aunt several times said to my 9 year old cousin, "don't you ever do this."
The kids and I played together until midnight when it was time to go. I stopped by the boys at 35 Fanueil as a few were about to go out. I joined them for a few beers at midnight, but sadly we couldn't get into a club due to a 20 year old with us, so we ended up in a smoke filled bar. It reeked and I left early.
Should have just gone home.
Saturday, the family and I have a great time. Whether you live in Boston or just visit for a weekend, you really should take a Duck Tour. We did this with a wonderful tour guide named Penny Wise. Hilarious guide. If you are unfamilar with Duck Tours, they are 1940s amphibious trucks that ride around Boston and then drive into the Charles River. Be sure to tell your friends this before boarding, as I learned one Italian women thought Penny had gone mad when she drove into the river!
After the touristy Duck Tour, soend the $6.00 and go to the top of the Prudential. 50 floors up is a great few.
From there, the family and I walked around a while and went back to my uncle's where we had a marvelous dinner of Salmon, babaganoish, veggies, and dessert of fresh home made flan with freshly cut fruit. My aunt is a wonderful chef.
Midnight comes around again and I leave. Like Cinderella at midnight running away, I run back to 35 Fanuil. Why don't I ever just go home!
"Hey." "Hey." "What's up?" "Hey" are the responses.
" I want to go for a bike ride." says Dave. "Anyone game?"
"Let's go." I borrowed Dan's bike and since Dave was putting on a helmet, I borrow Matt's helmet. We ride, and ride. Bumps come and go. Dave suggests riding hear the water the veers to the right as I go to the left. Little do I know, I'm off the bike path now and on the walking path. Dave and Brian follow and a short distance. I speed up, glancing at the beautiful calm Charles river to my left.
My bike comes to a sudden and hard stop! I fly through the air as the bike flips over. I'm Superman! I fall, land on my head (good call with the helmet), land on my face, shoulder, and arms.
OWWWW! I'm Christopher Reeve! The pain in my face and neck is like a 1000 bee stings. The guys rush over. Brian is calm. " Just a scratch, Darren." he says as he reachs in his pocket, pulls out a cell phone, and dials 911.
Dave's white shirt is off and is folded on my face. He's on Storrow trying to flag down a police car. Soon an ambulence arrives and my view of ceilings begins. I have a view of many ceilings for the next 9 hours. The people at Beth Israel, say please don't let him be drunk.
Bike Accident.
Oh, good.
(What!?)
I'm on a board and doctors come and go. Catherine remains throughout the night. Cute resident. I wonder if she's single. hmmm.. My curiousity stays there. X-rays reveal not much, but to be safe Cat scans. Dave and Brian come and go. 5 am Brian has goes home, Dave comes back with my car. Sees a friend with a famous alcoholic singer's name and drives this alcholic home. Dave's still with me as mom, dad, and (oh great) grandma comes in at 5am. The Cat scan doesn't reveal much. I fall asleep for a few minutes and I wake up. I'm in a coffin.
"Darren, this is an MRI, we'll be done in 20 minutes."> I really have to hit the men's room but the rhythm of the machine is quite soothing, until that is the banging of the radiation and magnetic fields going through my body begins. An hour and a half later they pull me out and bring me down stairs. If you look at the ceilings long enough constellations form. I saw a man sitting on a toilet, horses playing, a cloudy looking man, and a 50. Man this morphine is making my legs heavy.
5 minutes after I fill a pitcher, a doctor comes in.
Darren, you're a free man. Sprains and ugly cuts. It's 11am, I bid farewell to the rents and go to bed.
Great weekend.