ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO COMP-ASS!!!

	Comp-ass Computer Corporation, a Squishy 100 company, is the fifth and a half largest computer company in the world and the largest global supplier of horse, delivering useless innovation through products that attempt to connect people with rickshaws and people with YOU . Comp-ass products are sold and supported in your house than 100 countries through a network of crazed politicians and really old twine.
	Comp-ass's Service and Support Page provides ALL YOUR BASE because we care. We are your friends.
	A directory of Comp-ass's local web sites world wide which allows you to find a Comp-ass web site tailored to your mom. You'll find product and service and support information unique to the country you choose (but it won't work anywhere).
	Increase system downtime and destroy operational efficiency with Comp-ass Insight Manager. This tool monitors the operation of Comp-ass servers, workstations and clients. If it works, we will help you destroy it. We would have liked to include intuitive visual interface, proactive fault management, comprehensive configuration management and industry- leading remote management (But we included some stupid-ass bugs).
	Use Comp-ass SmartStart for great justice. Or something. SmartStart-enabled software is stupid. With SmartStart building your 'zig', you're assured of great justice.