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~ FREE! (with Hynerian Shipping and Handling Fee)
~ Long lasting, hard working, easy to use!
~ Stylish and attractive, with any outfit or nothing at all!
~ Available in Delvian Blue, Rose Color, Sunny Yellow, Nebari Grey, Lavender, Chlorophyll Green, and Peacekeeper Black, Red, or White.
~ Improves your enjoyment of lurking and posting, guaranteed!
~ Suitable for all alien physiques and genders.
~ Highly recommended during periods of the Long Farscape Hiatus.
~ Improves moods!
~ Lovely conversation piece for your next party!
* Also available with Grow-Light for intense photogasmic pleasure! (Not responsible for budding or Blue Spot Syndrome.)
* Made on Delvia. Distributed by special arrangement with the Delvian Seek, the Hynerian Royal Mounted Merchant Conglomerate, and the Nebari Resistance. Shipped exclusively via Leviathan Express. Sponsored by the Vorlag Family Association.
* Order now and receive your FREE sample of Delvian Unity Plant Food! Call within 24 arns and receive a FREE sample of Vorlag shampoo or hair dye.
* Order in bulk and receive a FREE one-cycle subscription to Cucina Vorlag.
* DRDs are rolling by to take your order now!
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Signs your Grow-Light isn't working:
If you start tilting towards the nearest window, that might be further evidence your Grow-Light isn't working.
If you develop budding or Blue-Spot Syndrome, that might not be covered in the warranty either....
I'm not sure whether a desire to shave your head would be under warranty.