CHILDREN OF THE CORN (1984)
Most source-material mileage ever?
Hard to believe that a story short enough to fit in an issue of Penthouse could have given rise to seven (to date) movie adaptations and sequels, but something about Children Of The Corn must have taken hold of a lot of imaginations. All this well after the 70's run of Satanic-kid movies, but well before Columbine.

That's exactly the incident that comes to mind during an early scene where, at the moment of command, the children and teenagers of a remote Nebraska town turn on the adults and wipe them out in a surgical strike. Three years later, they're still in charge of the town, worshipping some unseen cornfield deity, and they haven't aged a day!

Visitors are discouraged, usually by crucifying them. Peter Horton and Linda Hamilton play a young couple who happen across the town and spend a lot of time (I mean, a LOT of time) driving around looking for a phone. At least it's a respite from Hamilton's song-and-dance scene, and we get to see them mockingly join in with a radio preacher before the kids show them a thing or two about the REALLY old-time religion. (how'd those kids get to town before the car does?)

Lots of heavy-handed Omen music and some then-trendy effects like sped-up clouds over non-sped-up people, and an earth-lifting subterranean crawler - the demon the kids worship, He Who Walks Behind The Rows, is unfortunately revealed as a real entity with real influence. I don't know about you, but I don't find that anywhere near as scary as people who simply follow their religious teachings unto murder with the fervor of true believers. I don't need a supernatural entity to make that a creepy, awful, plausible thought. I don't even need fiction for it. And a page out of the bible scares it off? Lame!

The other major problem, which I've complained about before: kids aren't scary. Teenagers, well, they have to put in an extra effort but they can do it. But kids, never. And they're not going to grow up to be scary adults, because these kids ritualistically kill themselves on the first night of their 19th year. I'm not sure what I meant by this, as I saw this movie months ago, but my notes say "These kids could use a math teacher". The two kids we see the most of are Malachi (Courtney Gaines), the town heavy, and Isaac - no coincidence about that name - as the main prophet/preacher, played by John Franklin as if he's channelling some mincing Englishman. Malachi is as close as the kids come to an effectively scary villain, all bad teeth and spazzy, unpredictable hostility.

Children Of The Corn whipped up a hell of a scary reputation among the other 10-year-olds I went to school with at the time, none of whom actually saw it. And all those sequels says...something. In keeping with the original story's brevity, there's a good, oh, thirty-minute movie in here. A great movie could have been made with this story, though a great movie wasn't. (for starters, the kids who want out is the point of view worth following) This movie has an impossible time living up to that Columbine-style opening (oh, the times we're in, where "Columbine-style" just rolls of the tongue like that), and could only benefit from an extensive "re-imagining".

Which was in the works for a while, but has apparently been scuttled.

(c) Brian J. Wright 2006

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