Before you read my story, I would like to share with you all a miraculous story of survival. It was really hard to take some of it in at times, but this story truly shows courage, and strength. GentleTouchs Web

Well I guess it all started on May 2, 1962, the day I was born. I was born in Port Clinton, Ohio. I don't much about how much I weighed or how big I was in general. I have two other sisters before me, and two after me. No, we didn't have one of those "perfect" families, it was actually far from it. But of course to me my Dad was perfect. There wasn't much of anything he wouldn't do for us. And I loved him so much.

Mom, on the otherhand, was a different story. Sure I loved my mom, and to this day I still do. And since her death in November of 99, I have grown to love her more. God opened my eyes to alot of things while I was grieving. Mom was addicted to prescription drugs. And she put Dad through alot of pain, but he loved her so much anyway. He would try everything to get her off of the meds, but to no avail. There was of course some physical and mental abuse from Mom, but I won't go into that now because I can understand that Mom never realized what she was doing. It took me a long time to come to that realization.

There are five of us, Jody, Julie, Janie(me), Jennie, and Jackie. Imagine that, five girls all fighting for the bathroom. We of course had our normal fights growing up, and I am sure we drove our parents crazy through all of it. But I believe they both loved us very much.

Well, time went on and my oldest sister moved on, Mom was not any better. I think she actually had gotten meaner the longer she took the meds. But deep in my heart, I knew I still loved her with all my heart. When mom was, shall we say "sober" from the meds, she was good to us, but it seemed that the time she was "sober" began to get less and less in between the times she wasn't.

Mom, finally stopped in about 1983, but when my Dad passed in 1985, the alcohol started. Constantly mom was drinking, and constantly she would blame me for Dad's death. You see Dad had Atherosclerosis(ar-te"re-o-skle-RO'sis)or commonly known as CAD - Coronary Artery disease that meaning, hardening of the arteries to his heart due to fibrous or fatty deposits. Well one night he was going to come get me from work. Well needless to say, he never made it out of the driveway. He died in the snow on that cold December night. I never got to say good bye to Dad, I just got blamed for it. So many emotions I went through after that moment. I don't remember anything else. I don't remember the funeral, or the burial. I do remember walking in the house that night, and my Dad was gone. Then the mental abuse started from Mom. It took me quite sometime to get over that, and to realize I was not to blame. And I think Mom finally realized it too. She quit drinking for a little while. Which was prayers answered.

Well I moved on and met a man, who claimed to love me. Well before we got married I had a baby, the most beautiful baby I had ever laid eyes on. She was a complete angel. She looked just like Dad. Well I thought my life was moving along ok, until the first night I got punched in the face. The whole world stopped at once. This Man who claimed his love for me, turned violent in a split second. Well, "Did you stay with him?" you ask. Yes, I stayed with him, afterall he was sorry.

I think it was at this time that I really began enjoying my artistic side as far as poetry goes. I saw so much in life already, that I knew I had alot I could write about. So I would write here and there, it made me feel better about myself. And I believed that I had a heart of gold, even though I went through the things I did, I would still jump at the chance to help someone, and I still do. This was a fault in his eyes though. He told me once that he hated that part me.

I was the main money maker between my boyfriend and I. And I was always the one to make sure Amy had what she needed. I worked hard to keep us afloat, as we moved from one apartment to the next. When Amy was two, I threw her a huge party for her birthday, and I thought everything was moving along ok, then just weeks after that, her Daddy decided to walk out on us. I was crushed. I was alone. At first I didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to do something to take care of that little girl of mine. "what did I do?" you ask. Well I called his parents of course. His step-mom came over right away, and we did manage to locate him. But see, this is just it, he told me before he left, that he was going to Cincinnati to find a better job, so he could support us better. Of course, I believed him. But did he ever go to Cincinnati? Ummmm... no. He went to Arizona, to be with his real mom.

I would talk to him on the phone, and he would say I'll send you money to get you here, or he would say "I will come for you". But he never came. I kept thinking "How could I be so naive?" "How could I fall for all of this?"

Use the next button, for my continuing story....