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God's Love - By Nithya K
I opened my eyes for
the first time to the world, in Kentucky, circa 1967 and found a cozy home
shortly thereafter by two wonderful, loving people I came to know as Mom and
Dad. I grew up with three siblings who were also lovingly swept into my
parents’ fold - a brother two years older than me, and twin sisters two years
younger. I always knew that I was not born to my parents but never knew my birth
parents.
For the most part I
experienced a normal, happy upbringing with all the usual dynamics associated
with any family relationship, although there always seemed like some part of me
was missing. I kept this desire a secret, thinking this would break my mom and
dad’s heart.
In 1986, I joined
the Army Police and eventually was stationed at Palau, where I completed my tour
of duty in October 1989.
I returned home to
Michigan, and after spending six months in the snow, I couldn't seem to shake
the burning desire to return to Kentucky and make it my home. In April 1990 I
gave notice to my work, packed up my car, drove the 2,500-mile trek, and a month
later I moved with all my belongings.
Around this time, my
Dad had mentioned to me that my sisters had located their birthmother and told
me that if I ever wanted to find mine, he would help me. I wasn't sure at that
time if I was ready to find her yet, but kept it tucked in the back of my mind
as a goal to pursue some day.
Around that time I
got married, in April 1992, and peacefully settled in Shoreline. Two weeks after
we returned from our honeymoon, I was quite surprised to see a solemn looking
certified letter sitting at my desk. Although it was not something out of the
ordinary but still, I had a strange instinctive feeling about the letter, but I
finally did open it, with some hesitation. As I began to read the words written
on bittersweet stationery, tears began to well up in my eyes. A song was playing
at the same time on the radio - "As Your Love Broke Through." The song
was actually about a relationship with God, but it seemed very coincidental for
me. In this very instance it was directed at me about a genetic relationship I
could have with my birth mother. The lyrics went right through my heart and I
felt as If God was trying to push me onto a certain path. As If I were destined
to know my birth mother and start a healing process, when I was left as a child
in need of a family.
From the very first
sentence, I just felt and knew it had to be her. The further I read, the more
tears came, and threatened to blind me. I sat down and I wondered about her and
the my mind started flooding with questions, about her, whether she loved me,
why she had given up her parental rights, and more. I remember seeing her
signature at the bottom of the letter and staring at her name: "Martha
Winslow, your birth mother." The words felt so strange, having been used to
call my parents as father and mother, now I had a strange woman writing to me
and saying, your birth mother. She had opened an avenue of communication for me,
and had left it up to me to contact her, so she included her telephone number
and even some photos of herself and her three additional children, my siblings.
I suddenly found myself very curious to see and meet my birth siblings. Were
they like me or was I different from them in any way?
After a day or so, I
decided to go ahead and take the plunge. What did I have to lose? I picked up
the phone to call Martha. I don't remember the whole conversation, just feeling
a little uneasy but very anxious to meet her. We decided to meet at the coffee
shop at the Mall. Upon first seeing her, I recall my shock to actually see
somebody with an identical face, similar structure, an older version of me.
Martha brought her
daughter along - my birth sister - for our first meeting. It was a strange
experience, but I felt we hit it off pretty well. We continued to develop our
genetic relationship from that point on, and our bond has become even stronger
over the years.
In December 1993,
Martha had located my birth father, and she gave me his phone number. He was
living in Montana. After three days of thinking about whether to call him or
not, I figured again, what did I have to lose? I was surprised how open and
welcoming he was. After several calls and letters over several months, I decided
to make a trip to visit him. This was in August 1994. I was four months pregnant
with my daughter at that time, and so opted for a train ride.
I remember being
nervous and feeling a little afraid for my unborn child to be staying at the
home of a stranger for two weeks, but I took my chances. He turned out to be a
friendly gentleman, whom I have been able to develop a close relationship with
over the years. After a year or so, my birth father decided he wanted to move to
Kentucky to be close to me. He has been here ever since.
In addition to me,
my birth mother has two sons and one daughter; and my birth father has two sons
and one daughter. I have developed close relationships with each of them. My
birth father has a living mother, my paternal grandmother, whom I have visited
in the Chicago area a few times. Somehow all these genetic relations felt very
unnatural initially, but with time, I adapted beautifully. I have two families
now, and two sets of parents, my birth parents and my adoptive parents. Both my
birth parents have received their first grandchild from me, my daughter, who was
born in January 1996.
I continue to have a
wonderful relationship with my family and visit them often. Both of my birth
parents have met my mom, and are anxious to meet my dad some day soon.
This reunion has really been a blessing in my life, and I am grateful for all the people God had brought me in contact with over the years. I will admit that at times I feel divided between families, but I decided a long time ago that I would rather have relationships with everybody in my life than to not have known them at all. I truly believe that God showed me the path to this bliss and I will always be subservient to Him for this. As a token gesture, I have decided to take into my heart a child who needs a family. I would only be passing over all the love I received from my parents.