After yet another hard day’s work of killing evil youkai and saving the planet from eminent DOOM, the Urameshi-tachi decides to head home for a nice, cozy meal... Kuwabara: HEY!! Who’s writing this *^*#(!! Rhole: *whaps him with umbrella* Do you MIND??! I’m trying to write a fic here?? Jessi: *whimpers* Um, Mighty Future Ruler of the World type... *timidly raises hand* Rhole: *flashes cute Omi-type grin* Hmmm?? Jessi: *small voice* shouldn’t that be WE, Oh Great One...? Rhole: Yeah, that too. Now, where was I...? Oh yeah, WE’RE trying to write a fic. Ne, Kuwa-chan? *mischievous glint in eyes as grip on umbrella tightens* Kuwabara: *rubs his noggin and curses under his breath* Hiei: Hn. *smirks in that oh-so-sexy-Hiei way as Jessi melts into a puddle of fangirl goo* Botan: EWWW!!! Anyone have a hose? Jessi: *reforms and sticks tongue out* Rhole: *waves a lil’ flag* Um... guys... fic...?? *points above* Yuusuke: So, WHY are we here again? Rhole & Jessi: *exchange evil hentai grins as they flash fic contracts* ALL: *sweatdrop and groan* Rhole: Jessi-chan, will you do the honors? Jessi: *resisting urge to megaglomp Hiei* HAI! *smiles proudly as she pulls a cord and the lights go out* [dramatic pause as stuff is set up and Jessi takes a moment to grope Hiei in the darkness.] Hiei: *glaring at everyone* Kisama-tachi... *wondering if it was Kurama* Jessi: *mood surprisingly brightens* Rhole: Yosh! Jessi, it’s showtime! ^_^ Jessi: You got it! *hits the lights* [YYH cast proceeds to do anime fallouts as they stare at the massive studio audience before them.] Botan: *twitching* Yuusuke: OI!! What the @#*) is THIS??! Where’s our food???!! Keiko: BAAAAAAKA. *killer-slaps Yuusuke* ALL: *look at the now unconscious Yuusuke, then Keiko, before sweatdropping and backing away slowly* Rhole: *clears throat* Ah, about the food... well, we don’t have it yet... Kuwabara: Did you order something? Rhole: Noooooooo... *mischievous hint in her voice* Yuusuke: *rebounds from killer-slap* Are you gonna order something? Rhole: Noooooooo... Kuwabara: Then how in the HELL are we ‘supposed to eat???! Rhole: *stifles giggling as she signals to Jessi* [Cue short chaos interlude as lights go out once more...] Rhole: Okies, Jessi! The lights! [pauses, but still darkness.] Rhole: Jeeeeee-sssiii...?? [still no answer.] Rhole: 'taku... *mutters something about Twilight Forks as she stumbles around the dark studio to find the light switch* [lights come on suddenly as a pile of food sits on the counter.] Rhole: Jessi-chan?? *looks around* That's strange, she was just there a minute ago... Keiko: Anou, Rhole-san... something's sticking out from under the pile... *points to what looks like a twitching foot* Botan: Hey... isn’t that...?? Rhole: SHIMATTA! O_O Jessi!!!!!! [a few minutes later, the food mountain is cleared to reveal a twitching, swirly-eyed Jessi, sporting a rather LARGE bruise on her forehead...] Jessi: *twitch* Did anyone catch the size of that jar of Farshmallow Cream...? *_* Yukina: *picks up said jar* 18 oz., I think.. Kuwabara: YUKINA-SAAAAAAAAAN!!! ^______^ *dances around like an idiot while everyone sweatdrops* Yukina: Kazuma-san! Nice to see you again! *bright smile* Kuwabara: I’m glad to see that you’re doing well, Yukina-san! Will you be staying for lunch *mutters under breath* if it ever gets here...? Rhole: I HEARD that. *grabs umbrella* Yukina: Hai! Kurama: *pokes Hiei and whispers* Aww... brother and sister eating lunch together. Isn’t that sweet? Hiei: *GLARE of doom* Jessi: *sits up slowly, cold compress to her forehead* I’m ready! Send me in boss! *twitch* Rhole: -_-() We’re already here, Jessi... Jessi: Uh, right! I knew that! *twitch* [random stomachs grumble] Jessi: *whispers to Rhole* Um, Rhole-chan...shouldn’t we start cooking?? Youkai DO eat humans after all... *nervous grin* Hiei: *thoughtful look* Rhole: Ah, ah... *waves contract in air while Jessi cowers behind her* You wouldn’t want us to do a ballet fic, would you? Jessi: *timidly* WE? Rhole: *glares at Jessi* Yes, WE. *cackles* [Jessi & everyone pales at the thought of the boys dancing around in frilly pink tutus. Scratch the Jessi part. She begins jotting down ideas...] Jessi: Hiei, Kurama, tights... *scribbles and drools* Rhole: Jessi dear, people are staring... -_-() Jessi: Eh? *looks up* Sowwy... *wipes away drool and stashes notebook in Hammerspace* What's next, Rhole-chan? Rhole: Do you NEED ask? *mischievous rabid fangirl grin* Jessi: *nods knowingly as the same fangirl grin spreads across her face* Rhole: Seeing that we've killed enough airtime as it is... *nervous grin*, let's get started, ne? Yuusuke: Finally! Food! *looks at cameras* Eh? We're on TV?? *goofy faces at the camera* Hiei: Baka. Jessi: HE SPOKE!!! *runs towards Hiei at lighting-fast speed (we're fangirls, give us the benefit of the doubt here!) as a heavy object bops her over the head. Again.* Rhole: Now Jessi, please control your drooling fangirl desires for now, ne? Jessi: *rubbing noggin'* Hai, Rhole-sama... [Rhole signals towards Jessi, who puts on a construction helmet before hitting light switch once more. Random degrees of VERY verbal protests are heard.] Audience: *shocked & dramatic gasps* Keiko: *look of disbelief* >_<() Botan: *anime fallout and twitching* x_X Yukina: *blushes slightly* Jessi &; Rhole: *HUGE grins plastered across their faces as the camera pans to the YYH boys [minus Koenma, who has conviently disappeared at the moment], who are expressing varying degrees of surprise at their 'new' attire: Warm and fuzzy pink aprons.* Botan: They're... they're... they're... O_o Keiko: Is this LEGAL??! Kuwa & Yuu: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Kurama: What’s the big deal? They're just aprons! It’s not that bad... ALL: *facefault* Hiei: *almost twitches as he removes his headband and reaches for the bandages on his arm* I'm not going to kill you. Directly, anyway... *summons you-ki* Jessi: *cowers in fear behind Rhole* I don’t wanna die!! I told you this was a bad idea!!! *cries* Rhole: *rolls eyes and sweatdrops* Friends to the end, ne? ^^() Jessi: This was NOT what I had in mind for the end! Well, since Hiei’s here.. Rhole: BAKA! Pissed-off Hiei + Black Dragon Wave = REALLY DEAD Jessi!! Jessi: Oh yeah... at least it's Hiei...! *dreamy look* Rhole: Fangirl devotion. It's scary... Jessi: *idea!* Wait! Yukina-sama, don't you like the aprons?? *hopeful pleading voice* Yukina: *nods and smiles brightly* Hai! I think they're kawaii! ^,^ Hiei: *suddenly stops powering up and shoots a sideways glare at Jessi* Damn. Now I can’t kill you... Rhole: *whispers to Jessi* Nice save! Jessi: Didya see?? Hiei glared at meee... *swoons* Rhole: Heheh. Nevermind. -_-() *pushes YYH boys towards the counter as Jessi slowly recovers and sits up* Kuwarbara: TEMEE!! You never said anything about cooking!! Rhole: *sticks out tounge* Beee--daaaa! Jessi: Baka, what did you THINK we were gonna do? Dress you in girly aprons and strip you with our eyes..?? ALL: *look at Jessi and back away* Jessi: ^,^ What? *innocent look* Rhole: Let’s see... *searches through her magic bag, pulling out various objects* Botan: *sweatdrops as a piano flies by* How did you fit THAT in there? Rhole: Hammerspace. The storage closet for fic authors everywhere. *grins and feels like a shameless plug* Jessi: *pipes in* And fire demons, too! Kuwabara: Sou ka! THAT’S how the shrimp replaces all his swords so easily... Jessi: *whaps Kuwa over the head with a saucepan* WHAT did you call him...?? *foaming at mouth* Rhole: Maa, maa. Calm down Jessi. *patpats and continues searching for a cookbook* Hiei, you light the stove. I guess we’ll figure out what to cook... Jessi: Um, Rhole-chan... is that a good idea? Rhole: Nani? I'm busy... go help Hiei or something... Jessi: *beams happily* Hai! *puts on fire-proof jumpsuit* Hiei: *turns and stares at the stove* How does this work? Kurama: You turn this knob, wait a second, then light it. Easy, ne? I'll be right back; gotta get some more banannas... *leaves* Botan: Why don't we go help Kurama get those banannas?? *grabs Keiko & Yukina and runs off* Hiei: I can do that... *evil gleam in eye as he removes his bandages* Kuwabara: Not again..!! *ducks under the counter, which is thankfully fire-proofed* Jessi: *puts on fire-proof helmet and hits the audience protection button* We killed so many last time... ^^() Yuusuke: Um, yeah. *puts on fire-proof jumpsuit* Hiei: ...Kokuryuu-Ha!! Rhole: Found it! ^_^ What a minute... what’s that so-- *barely has enough time to open her 'brella for protection as the dragons wreak MUCHOS havoc.* [18 minutes later...] ALL: *emerge from their various hiding places* Kuwabara: EH?? *looks around* Why aren’t we dead...? Koenma: The things I do for fangirls... *sighs* Jessi: *glomps Koenma* ^_____^ I like your pacifier... Koenma: OKAY... *shoves the drooling fangirl off* Rhole: *TWITCH* 'I like your pacifier??' Why can't I get any good-quality lackeys..? O_x Yuusuke: This is why fire demons don’t cook... *sly grin* Hiei: *passes out as Jessi catches him, taking the golden opportunity to grope freely* Kurama: *returns with bananas and raises an eyebrow* So THIS is why you came to help me... Botan: *smiles nervously and nods* Rhole: Minna... cookbook... *waves miraculously un-charred cookbook in the air* Keiko: So, Rhole-san, what are we making? Rhole: Workin' on it... *flips through cookbook* Jessi: *pops up* Can we use Hiei to make a Farshmallow Cream special? *grins* ALL: *blink blink sweatdrop* Kurama: *thinks* Hmm... what are the ingredients for that? Jessi: Well, first you need a-- Rhole: *eyes go wide and she clamps hand over Jessi's mouth* We don't have the time to make that. Gomen ne, Kurama.. *glares at Jessi* Jessi: *whispers to Kurama* I'll tell you after the show. Rhole: Eeto.. Kurama, would you please chop some veggies? Kurama: Sure. Which ones? Rhole: Surprise me! *continues to flip through pages* Kurama: *sweatdrops as he grabs a carrot* Oookay... Rhole: Tangerines... toast... tomato soup... *pauses and flips back a page* Takatori??! *blinks* Aya: *appearing out of nowhere* TAKATORI!!!!!!!!! SHIIII-NEEEEEE!!! ALL: *scramble as the countertop is sliced in 2* Jessi: *scrambles to protect the conveniently still unconscious Hiei* Ken: *looks around* She's got you doing another cooking show? God have mercy... Farfie: GOD?? *licks knife* Jessi: Yes, Farfie. Cooking hurts God... or something... ^^() Farfie Fans Untie Club: She... understands us... Rhole: EH?? First Hiei Kokuryuu-Ha's the kitchen, then the FFU shows up... so long fic... *hangs head in shame* Crawford: *sexy-leader-of-Schwartz-bastard-smirk as his glasses shine evilly* I knew this was going to happen... Rhole: *annoyed sigh* Don't start.... >_< Jessi: I say we just light a fire and make smores… Rhole: Idea! Do we have enough Farshmallow Cream? *glances at Farf* Nevermind. Stupid question... Hiei: *wakes up, not too pleased to be in a fangirl’s lap. Said fangirl scrambles away to aviod a NOT happy death, only to run into Farfie...* Jessi: *meeps* Um... hi... Farfie: Your death would hurt God.. Jessi: O.O No it wouldn’t!! Kill the carrots! Their death would REALLY hurt God! I’ll go get a blender! *scurries off* Nagi: Isn’t this fic over yet? Kuwabara: Quit yer complaining, Urameshi! Yuusuke: Nani? I didn’t say anything... ALL: *pause and look at Yuusuke and Nagi* Jessi: *pokes Rhole as she hands Farfie a bunch of carrots and tomatoes* They sound... the same.. Yuusuke & Nagi: We do not! ALL: *swirly eyed as they try to figure out who said what* Aya: *looks around* Takatori?? Omi: Aya-kun... he’s been dead for a few episodes now... *sweatdrops* Jessi: Why don’t you have some mint tea, Aya? It’s nummmy... Rhole: MINT TEA!! ^_____^ *lunges* Jessi: *yelps and sidesteps as Rhole ungracefully lands into a convenietly placed coffee table* Aya: TAKATORI... Schu: Aya’s got a one-track mind. Well, most of the time... *wraps an arm around the redhead’s waist as Rhole &.. Omi nosebleed* Youji: *taps Kurama on the shoulder* Excuse me, ojou-san, but you have the most beau-- *stops and pales upon seeing that Kurama's a guy* Kurama: *pulls a seed from his hair* Ojou-san??! *eyes darken as Rose Whip appears* Mind repeating that..?? Botan & Keiko: *singing* This is the fic that never ends... Youji: *pauses while flirting with Yukina, not noticing the dark you-ki emanating from a certain ultra-sexy Jagan master* Where’s that guitar music coming from? Rhole: Guitar??! *flips through the script* Jessi: *hands Rhole a cup of mint tea* Um, do we have a guitar? Rhole: *happily sips tea* Not that I know of.. * groans as she tries to ignore sight of Kurama restraing Hiei as he tries to kill Youji* Jessi: *attempts to save Youji* Youji, LOOK!! A blonde, big-chested damsel in distress! And she’s over 18!! *points randomly into studio audience, and luckily lands on Omi...* Omi: *blinks* EH? And how'd I get out here?? *very confused look* Jessi: Well, nix the big-chested part... ^^;; Youji: *runs off to ‘save’ Omi, who’s not really in danger, but that’s beside the point...* Ken: *attempting to pry Rhole off with a crowbar. Again... * Rhole: *reluctantly releases Ken as she grabs her umbrella* ALL: *run away screaming* Rhole: *pouts* Mou... a few incidents with the Arabian government and you're branded for life.. -_-() Jessi, would you see the ladies out? Things could get ugly.. *cracks knuckles and smiles* Jessi: Hai!! *escorts the YYH girls out as the Weiß, Schwartz and YYH boys whimper* Rhole: *opens umbrella and snaps fingers as a huge glob of Farshmallow cream falls from above.* Jessi: *returns, eyes bugging out upon seeing main Weiß and YYH characters making futile attempts to get out of the Farshmallowy goo.* WHAT did you do??? Rhole: *grins, ignoring the pleas, curses and death threats being shouted at her* What I should’ve done 4 pages ago: ended this fic! Jessi: *whimpers* But what about Hiei... ? *points to a small figure wiggling and cursing up a storm* Rhole: Oh, he’ll be fine. *smirks* This’ll give them time to get to know each other. *laughs* Jessi: *brain overloads as she attempts to contemplate Kurama, Hiei, Youji and Farshmallow Cream at the same time* Rhole: Let’s go order pizza, ne? Jessi: *big smile* Hai!! ^__^ And so this fic ends. Aren’t you happy? We are! Aren’t we, Jessi-chan? Jessi: *babbling about Hiei and Farshmallow Cream* Rhole: Owari? Whatever... *skips off humming Daijou-bu and dragging a babbling Jessi-chan off* ----- Owari...Right?