I am not my own master... and the master of none.
What could I do to regain my feelings of love for you?
Why can't I feel more than I do?
Where did it go wrong?
I know it was there, a love, but what kind?
I have to learn love all over again, or is it too late?
Will our love ever be equal?
Will you settle, or should I?
09/9/98
Let me hold you in my arms,
Feel your tender skin next to mine,
Smile at your eyes.
Though it be days, weeks, or months,
I shall count it my blessing when I shall hold you,
be it ever so briefly in this lifetime.
Should it never come to reality?
It is not the end, for I have held you in my heart.
The beauty of a dream, a fantasy, a love greater than could be in real life.
07/21/98
My tears fell into the deep abyss of her dry heart.
Loneliness gripped me,
wringing it of all that was love.
Staring into the darkened eyes of a black love,
I wept again.
Now, my black tears came in steady flows,
shocking me to a sudden halt.
No love left.
This blackness of despair to remain.
I no longer speak of caring, love, concern for her.
Only the dark reality of life.
07/10/98
Her lonely eyes tried to pierce the darkness before her,
waiting with fearful heart at what may lay ahead.
Cold, damp, darkness swept over her soul,
pouring from the cavern of life's heart.
She endured this torture, praying it would change.
Change never came,
things didn't get any better,
the loneliness grew,
the cavern became darker.
A small glimmering caught her eye,
and she turned away from the blackness before her.
A sad whisper called from the faint glowing light.
"Come to me with your pain,"
"let me heal your dying heart."
"I cry with you, feel your pain, share your sorrow."
A sad whisper called.... she listened.
Will she hear?
07/01/98
His tearing eyes looked deep into her soul,
she was lost to him and she sensed he knew.
With a toss of her head,
black waves of rejection covered his soul,
smothering his flame of love.
Moonlit white shimmers glinted from her shoulder as she turned,
vanishing into the shadows, her love a memory.
06/16/98
A gentle wind snuffed out the burning candle,
and his mesmerized stare was broken.
Light blue trails of smoke curled around his relaxing body,
fading and melting into the dark background behind him.
His eyes brightened and renewed their gaze to the east.
A brief interruption to his soul now vanishing.
Rising slowly, he continued his slow journey.
Touched, and never to be the same, he continued on.
06/09/98
Her voice haunts me.
Her scent lingers on my clothing.
Her soft touch still tingles my cheek.
Her laughter rings in my ears as a angel's chime.
Her memory remains in more ways than my senses can capture.
Her salty tears rack my heart beyond belief!
What magic has she been given that no other had before?
What makes me love her so very much?
What made her so special that no other could take her place?
Why will I do anything to make her happy?
Why does she hold this wonderful capture of love on me?
It is so unfair!
W H Y ? ? ? ?
Why couldn't I have felt this way as a child about my Mother?
06/02/98
I feel like a newborn chick in the egg,
I must break free,
I can't breathe... so constricted.
But, what lies outside this shell of contentment and safety?
My heart pounds in fright sometimes,
I'm so afraid to step outside the boundaries of this darkness.
The world gives me no choice.
I must quit holding the shell together and stopping the inevitable.
The painful entry into a new beginning or end,
must take place soon.
My soul shall be dried and withered if I pause too long here.
06/01/98
He moved behind her, encircling her waist with his hungry arms.
A soft kiss making it's way down her neck,
tingling the nape of her neck.
"Open to me my love, let loose your shackles."
Slowly and gently, she heard his plea.
Her heart released it's former chains of hurt.
Allowing him in, his love to consume her soul.
The dream fulfilled, washing over her body,
Setting free the agony of mistrust.
Her heart unshackled, and now set free.
05/29/98
They rush through the forest of life so quickly,
Heads bent forward in silent determination,
Looking only at the stone in front of them.
Yet a precious few stop for a moment.
Stopping to gaze at the lone Aspen calmly awaiting their notice.
His gaze took in her beauty,
absorbing her calm swaying motions.
She murmured her song of life and serenity as he stared,
the breeze playing her melody.
05/26/98
Sweet dark death whispered to him,
the sound so pleasant, relaxing, an calm.
"Why do you struggle so?"
"It is so easy to let go and join me in eternal calm", he said.
But a part of me hangs on.
Hanging by such a thin shred, of hope and happiness.
The shred so thin.. so delicate.. so critical..
Who will break it? And when?
05/17/98
Her laughing eyes moved his soul.
Daring not to look too deeply,
He cast his gaze to the side,
Slowing his heart, calming it's beating.
Reminding himself of the pain, the pain,
the pain, that will follow.
05/16/98
A gentle and familiar feeling moved through her.
The darkened and misty clouds rippled slightly within her heart,
as the very faint memory,
probing and gliding with silent determination moved to her center.
That exciting touch of love had returned.
04/30/98
Page 1 of my Heart
Page 2 of my Heart
Page 4 of my Heart
Page 5 of my Heart
What could I do to regain my feelings of love for you?
Why can't I feel more than I do?
Where did it go wrong?
I know it was there, a love, but what kind?
I have to learn love all over again, or is it too late?
Will our love ever be equal?
Will you settle, or should I?
09/9/98
Let me hold you in my arms,
Feel your tender skin next to mine,
Smile at your eyes.
Though it be days, weeks, or months,
I shall count it my blessing when I shall hold you,
be it ever so briefly in this lifetime.
Should it never come to reality?
It is not the end, for I have held you in my heart.
The beauty of a dream, a fantasy, a love greater than could be in real life.
07/21/98
My tears fell into the deep abyss of her dry heart.
Loneliness gripped me,
wringing it of all that was love.
Staring into the darkened eyes of a black love,
I wept again.
Now, my black tears came in steady flows,
shocking me to a sudden halt.
No love left.
This blackness of despair to remain.
I no longer speak of caring, love, concern for her.
Only the dark reality of life.
07/10/98
Her lonely eyes tried to pierce the darkness before her,
waiting with fearful heart at what may lay ahead.
Cold, damp, darkness swept over her soul,
pouring from the cavern of life's heart.
She endured this torture, praying it would change.
Change never came,
things didn't get any better,
the loneliness grew,
the cavern became darker.
A small glimmering caught her eye,
and she turned away from the blackness before her.
A sad whisper called from the faint glowing light.
"Come to me with your pain,"
"let me heal your dying heart."
"I cry with you, feel your pain, share your sorrow."
A sad whisper called.... she listened.
Will she hear?
07/01/98
His tearing eyes looked deep into her soul,
she was lost to him and she sensed he knew.
With a toss of her head,
black waves of rejection covered his soul,
smothering his flame of love.
Moonlit white shimmers glinted from her shoulder as she turned,
vanishing into the shadows, her love a memory.
06/16/98
A gentle wind snuffed out the burning candle,
and his mesmerized stare was broken.
Light blue trails of smoke curled around his relaxing body,
fading and melting into the dark background behind him.
His eyes brightened and renewed their gaze to the east.
A brief interruption to his soul now vanishing.
Rising slowly, he continued his slow journey.
Touched, and never to be the same, he continued on.
06/09/98
Her voice haunts me.
Her scent lingers on my clothing.
Her soft touch still tingles my cheek.
Her laughter rings in my ears as a angel's chime.
Her memory remains in more ways than my senses can capture.
Her salty tears rack my heart beyond belief!
What magic has she been given that no other had before?
What makes me love her so very much?
What made her so special that no other could take her place?
Why will I do anything to make her happy?
Why does she hold this wonderful capture of love on me?
It is so unfair!
W H Y ? ? ? ?
Why couldn't I have felt this way as a child about my Mother?
06/02/98
I feel like a newborn chick in the egg,
I must break free,
I can't breathe... so constricted.
But, what lies outside this shell of contentment and safety?
My heart pounds in fright sometimes,
I'm so afraid to step outside the boundaries of this darkness.
The world gives me no choice.
I must quit holding the shell together and stopping the inevitable.
The painful entry into a new beginning or end,
must take place soon.
My soul shall be dried and withered if I pause too long here.
06/01/98
He moved behind her, encircling her waist with his hungry arms.
A soft kiss making it's way down her neck,
tingling the nape of her neck.
"Open to me my love, let loose your shackles."
Slowly and gently, she heard his plea.
Her heart released it's former chains of hurt.
Allowing him in, his love to consume her soul.
The dream fulfilled, washing over her body,
Setting free the agony of mistrust.
Her heart unshackled, and now set free.
05/29/98
They rush through the forest of life so quickly,
Heads bent forward in silent determination,
Looking only at the stone in front of them.
Yet a precious few stop for a moment.
Stopping to gaze at the lone Aspen calmly awaiting their notice.
His gaze took in her beauty,
absorbing her calm swaying motions.
She murmured her song of life and serenity as he stared,
the breeze playing her melody.
05/26/98
Sweet dark death whispered to him,
the sound so pleasant, relaxing, an calm.
"Why do you struggle so?"
"It is so easy to let go and join me in eternal calm", he said.
But a part of me hangs on.
Hanging by such a thin shred, of hope and happiness.
The shred so thin.. so delicate.. so critical..
Who will break it? And when?
05/17/98
Her laughing eyes moved his soul.
Daring not to look too deeply,
He cast his gaze to the side,
Slowing his heart, calming it's beating.
Reminding himself of the pain, the pain,
the pain, that will follow.
05/16/98
A gentle and familiar feeling moved through her.
The darkened and misty clouds rippled slightly within her heart,
as the very faint memory,
probing and gliding with silent determination moved to her center.
That exciting touch of love had returned.
04/30/98
| Page 1 of my Heart | Page 2 of my Heart |
| Page 4 of my Heart | Page 5 of my Heart |