English Teacher Antics

I've never extremely liked my English teacher, as a teacher that is. She doesn't nor hasn't really taught anything. This whole year all she has done is give us notes on authors, test us on crap about the authors that we didn't learn, make us define future SAT words on index cards every week, and write meaningless essays and reports.

There's always the community circle to lighten you day though, eh? Yes, community circle. You remember in kindergarten - you had little carpet squares, everyone sits in a big circle…yeah, and we do that too. She also has a big board/display set up right when you walk in the door…there's a list of moods with pouches next to them and you're supposed to insert a Popsicle stick into the mood you're in. She claims this helps her know how to teach us, in what way or something. Apparently she's neglected to do that… Her daily class system is setup on candy. Answer a question - get a piece of candy. It's good incentive…if she likes you. The catch is, you have to be called on, and of course there are about 3 people she usually calls on.

Grading - Where do I begin? She has a unique grading system. On journal questions they're always opinion questions…if your opinions don't match her opinions, you don't get full credit. You never know how much credit you got for the assignment anyways, not until grade printouts come out. Because she'll just put checkmarks. Supposedly each one is worth so much, and if you're opinion is wrong, she somehow calculates how much it was worth, and gives you X amount of checkmarks. Why was it wrong you may wonder? Who knows, she never writes anything else, and neglects to answer those types of questions. Essays - When we write essays, we have a 5-paragraph form: Introduction (including thesis statement), 3 Body paragraphs, and the Conclusion (including thesis statement again). No problems there. It's the 536,675 rules she has for writing. She has a list of words about…I can't even guess…its long…but you cant use any of them. Not a one. The list includes, but is not limited to: there are, they are, can be, will be, have been, you are, can't, shouldn't, haven't, won't. The list goes on and on. All this is considered "passive voice". All the other teachers just recommend not using passive voice, no penalties if you do. Well my teacher, she lives by it. Everything must be in "active voice". And she grades pretty harshly on that. But when you get your rough draft back, it will usually say "Tips for success: Active voice" then it will say "revise". Mmmhmm..so you open it up to look at the markings on your paper…and usually there aren't any. Maybe a spelling thing, but she doesn't necessarily help you revise any of it. I dunno, I'm actually a great writer, I never have any problems with essays or reports. Easy stuff. A lot of people do have problems, I dunno why.

The Time Bomb - Okay, multiple times on tests and quizzes I disagree with her not giving me full credit on something. So politely in class like everyone else does, I ask her in class. She will begin to answer something, and walk away trailing off. That helps me none whatsoever. So a few times I bring it to her after class. She attempts to feed me some crap about details. Okay, fine. On one test, on Edgar Allen Poe, there was a stanza (segment of the poem) we had to analyze and explain what it was saying. Well, I explained what it was saying with out mentioning "Lenore" or a "beautiful women", when in actuality, there was nothing in the stanza about that. I explained it as having thoughts about someone or something always being with him. But I didn't mention something that wasn't even in the stanza, so it was wrong. And when I came in after school to question it, she took the test out, set it on the table, hastily said "that's that, I'm not changing it", and walked to the other side of her room and sat at her desk and began doing something. I shook my head and exited. Now for the good stuff…

On Tuesday, March 12, 2002, we, the class, took a 5 question, 15 point, quiz over the first few chapters in the book 'Scarlet Letter'. The first question was "Why did Hester decide to stay in the town she did?" I answered it well I thought…on Wednesday right before we got the quizzes back, she discussed the right answers for each one. I got mine back and #1 was marked wrong, 0 pts out of 3 for that question. I'm like "Umm…" I had almost exactly the same answer she stated 3 minutes before I got it back. I'm like "I think this is right, and you counted it wrong" She told me to "Circle it and put it on her desk." I did that. Moved on with my life. Thursday my quiz was returned. Now there was 2 points out of 3 credited. I'm like "I think I had the same answer you said before you handed them back yesterday" She's like "You didn't say anything about being close to her loved one." I'm like "Nobody did" and she said "I think they did" So I said "Okay" and walked away. I went around asking for people that received full credit for #1. I found Jenny's paper. She had full credit, and said nothing about a loved one. Actually, she didn't even really answer the question.

FYI -

Jenny's answer (3pts)- "1.) She stayed in the same city of her small cottage by the shore. She felt as if she had to stay there in her home town."

My answer (2pts)- "1.)She decided to stay in Boston because that's where she commited her crime, so she believes her "self-punishment" is to stay and be ridiculed and outkasted."

Okay… So I found Jenny's… I take it up to the teacher's desk and say "Read number one". She takes it, reads it and states "I don't want to talk about" and shoves it back to me. Im like "why?" She says "I don't want to talk about it" So I said "fine." And I started walking back to Jenny's table to give her paper back, and Im halfway across the room and she says "It's only a point." And that pissed me off. So I said "It's only a point you DIDN'T give me that I earned, so I think you should give me the grade I earned, not the grade you WANT me to have." Of course this is halfway across the room, the whole room is silent and listening. She says "Is that what you think?" Im like "Yeah, that's what I think" Shes like "Hmm,okay" And I start sitting down and people started clapping!! It was funny! I was so pissed…or I thought I was. Thursday night I told my mom what all happened and she decided she wanted to talk to my teacher. So Friday, the class went fine, she didn't say anything to me or give me any dirty looks or anything. So after the bell rang I go up to her desk and ask "Are you going to be busy Monday after school?" She thought about it and almost excitedly said "Nope! I'll be available" I'm like "Okay, my mom would like to come in after school." She half sighed and said "Chris… I don't think that's necessary" I'm like "Yea, it is necessary, you obviously can't explain to me why I'm wrong, so you need to try to explain it to my mom" She's like "Chris its not necessary." I'm like "Fine, tell my mom it's not necessary" And I started walking towards the door. That's when she got loud and started yelling. "Its not necessary! I don't need to speak with your mom! This is ridiculous! You're so immature for even bringing this up over a few points here and there!" Im like "A few points here and there that I earned, and you refuse to credit me because you grade unfairly, all the time. How am I supposed to have respect for you when I work my butt off to get the grade I want, and you don't even care enough to give me credit where you know is due." She said "If you're that concerned with my grade then get out of my class!" She started rambling something and I said "Whatever, tell my mom Monday" and I walked out. I decided to go turn her into the office. I talked to the principle for bout 20 min and gave him all the details about how she called me immature and ridiculous for being concerned about my grade. And how she refuses to see my mom. I passed her exiting Mr Knox's office and she smiled…and then I was later told by another teacher that she was "reprimanded". And my guidance counselor gave me a letter addressed to my parents, but I read it and it was from my English teacher…and it was some BS crap. It was crap, real high quality crap. LOL. Something bout how if "your son feels he's a flawless test, quiz, and homework taker, then I'm not the teacher for him" And how she's "Dissappointed he uses other student's work to prove me wrong" And she made it clear she still doesn't plan on meeting my mom... she said "I hope things are worked out through Ms. McCullough. I will wait to hear from her.

More later as it develops…