| Tribute to Joshua |
| July 27, 1980 - January 18, 2002 |
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| This is my son Josh. This is one of my favorite photos of him. He always had that warm smile. Josh died January 18, 2002 of a drug overdose. Our lives will never be the same. |
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| You are visitor number |
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| After the death of my beautiful son, I felt absolutely lost. So many memories, so many thoughts going through my mind. I felt I had no one to talk to who could possibly understand. Family tried to be a comfort, but somehow I could not tell them of my feelings. All was locked inside. If you are a visitor to this page and you have suffered a similar loss, then you know of what I speak. Perhaps you don't know who to talk to either. I created this page as a tribute to my son, but also as a place you can come to speak with others who understand, really understand, what you have been through. Please, sign the guestbook at the end of the page, and feel free to leave a note. We will listen. We understand. You may also e-mail me at tribute_to_joshua@yahoo.com |
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| Josh, age 21 |
| Getting ready to attend a dinner with his girlfriend. There should have been many more such occasions, but drugs took my son's life shortly after this photo was taken. |
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| Josh was a wonderful boy. He had the absolute heart of a lion, and always, for as far back as I can remember, was the one who would take up for the underdog. He loved his brother and sister more I think than he even loved himself. He had a way of always putting others first. He was a humble soul, never demanding for himself, but always making sure others had first. I remember handing him treats as a small child, and he would never walk away without holding out his other hand to say "I need two more Mommy, one for brother and one for sister". Such was his character. |
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| Josh was special. Special in a million and one ways. He used to make us laugh so as a small child when he would memorize entire movie dialogues, and then re-enact them for us, accents and all. His "irish" would have you rolling on the floor. He hated spinach... and brussel sprouts, claiming they "looked like brains". He and his brother had a never ending supply of comic routines, we barely needed a television, they were our entertainment. Josh would tell long elaborate stories that seemed to get bigger and bigger as he would go along, and when you'd give him that look, he'd get the most honest expression on his face, claiming "It really did happen!". It was too funny. And if he did something wrong, for example throwing a ball in the house and breaking something, and you questioned him about it, his long and elaborate description of how the particular offence occured, with seemingly all the forces of the universe rallied against him to cause the ball to fly at that particular trajectory towards that vase.....you'd be dying of laughter before you could ever get upset with him. He was a gem. A jewel. He was my darling boy. |
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| A great day, summer 2001, the K-Rockathon, Syracuse, New York. Josh, his brother Chris and , Chris's wife Heather in center of picture. Josh's best friend Ricky standing next to him. I treasure this photo because they were all so happy that day, just to be young and to be together. |
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| Though nothing, nothing will keep us together, We could beat them, forever and ever, Oh we could be heroes, just for one day.. |
| David Bowie...."Heroes" |
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| I, I will be King, and You, You will be Queen, Oh we can be heroes, just for one day.... |
| David Bowie...."Heroes" |
| Josh and his niece Paige...No bigger love than this..Unkie Josh is what she called him, and my God, how he loved that baby..... |
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| Josh and Chris playing and singing together....these were happy times for them. This is how we all remember seeing them..always buddies. |
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| Pantera was Josh's favorite group, and Josh would never forgive me if I did not mention this...I didn't forget honey.... |
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| Josh, Chris, and baby sister Kim. If three kids ever loved each other, it is these three. |
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| Josh was incredibly special. We still have not recovered from the loss of him. Perhaps we never will. If you are a parent who has lost a child you understand what I mean. |
| My son had gone out after work for a beer with a so-called friend. We may never get the real story on what happened to him, as the people that were with him all have a different account, but what we do know is that he was hanging out with an older crowd that day, and had sniffed cocaine early in the evening, and by all accounts it was a small amount. Apparently later in the evening someone gave him more to sniff, but this had been mixed with heroin, and he did not know it. By 11:00 pm they saw that something was wrong with him. At this point they could have saved my son's life. Instead of taking him to a hospital door, they simply dropped him off at his apartment, not alerting his girlfriend that he had taken any drugs, or that there might be a problem. He went straight to sleep. By 8:00am his liver and kidneys had failed, and his heart stopped. His girlfriend did CPR until the ambulance came. |
| Josh was put on a respirator, and never regained conciousness. The ordeal of the hospital is too much, and too painful to even recount for you, but my son laid motionless for 6 days before he died. The doctors said he had suffered brain damage, and would never wake up again. The horrors that I saw him go through will haunt me forever. Tubes, wires, the awful sound of those machines, watching him have seizures which caused him to bite his tongue so badly that it bled for 6 days, and the doctors unable to stitch it because of his breathing tube. It was a mothers nightmare. I still see it all, every day of my life. These visions will never leave me. |
| If you are a young person reading this, please take note. Do not assume your friends will save you. |
| Perhaps I have created this page as much for myself as my son. I feel quite alone at times, and wish that I could speak with others who have suffered a similar loss. But above all, it is for Josh, my special, wonderful boy. He deserves to be remembered. Please do sign the guestbook before you leave. |
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| Poem for Joshua..Mother and Child |
| From Mommy |
| I was there. I sat with you the vigil through days and nights, pleading with heaven that I might take your place. Heaven did not want me, but you, my beautiful boy. I was there. I held your still hand, never to clasp mine again, as it so often did when you were small.. How is it then, that I look for you in every crowd? The breeze blows open my door, I turn to see if you are there. Footsteps approaching, I raise my eyes expecting to see you, hands in pockets, all smiles. Then I remember anew, that heaven has taken you. My boy, my boy, that you could sing to me just one more song. That I could hold you in my arms once again, if only for a moment. How is it that I see you around every corner? How is it that I hear your voice upon the evening breeze? That lovely gossamer thread, that binds mother and child together, That part of me that was you, the part of you that was me, Is still tightly woven together my son, I hear you on the breeze because you sing still, out of heaven . That gossamer thread will lead me home to you, wait for me my darling boy. I love you. -Mommy |
| Another excellent site is www.findagrave.com......don't be put off by the name, you can make a very nice memorial page for your loved one there, and people can leave messages, virtual flowers, etc. A page was set up there for my son by his good friend John. Click HERE to view it. |
| One other site I found particularly helpful is The Partnership for Drug- Free America. It has a lot of information and many people share their stories there. |
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| My sons loved to play their guitars together. Sadly, Now Joshua's guitar sits as a memorial of him, and of those happy times, in the corner of my son's living room. They will never play together again, and it is my son's most prized posession, and fondest memory of his brother. |
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| We will always love you Josh. You will never be forgotten. |
| Thank you for visiting this page. Please do feel free to leave a message, or e-mail me at tribute_to_joshua@yahoo.com |
| To view another webpage made for Josh by his cousin Ana, click below. |
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***Special note to all of Josh's friends...as you know the old guest book only held the first 2 or 3 sentences you wrote, so much of what you had to say was lost. I added a new book that will allow you to write as much as you like...there was no way to transfer your old posts to the new book. Please take the time to sign the new one, so I can really read what you had to say....Thanks....Kelly
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