Durability - 10
Comfort - 0
Realism - 0
Orgasm Intensity - 0
Value - 0
Overall - 0

The Web site we bought this from said they'd refund our $80 if we wrote a good review of the thing and put a link to it on our site. Unfortunately, Nikki Tyler's Ultra Realistic Vagina is so incredibly worthless that we couldn't think of anything good to say about it.

We've always thought that Doc Johnson's stuff looked kind of weird in pictures on Web site sex toy vendors. The 'vaginal' openings and so forth always look much larger than Cyberskin or Soft Touch toys. Now we know why.

It seems as though Doc Johnson missed the boat on patenting any type of rubber that feels remotely like real skin. The Nikki Tyler toy is made out of a plastic that's the same consitency as a Rubbermaid trash can. We kid you not. This plastic is so tough that you can knock on it with your knuckles and it makes a "thunk" noise. The stuff is so hard we couldn't get any part of our bodies inside! Not even a completely lubed-up finger, let alone a penis. Shit you need a crowbar to get the thing open.

How can we describe this toy? If you imagine taking a knife and cutting a slit in the side of a Rubbermaid trash can and then attempting to stick your dick through that slit, you have a pretty good idea of what this sex toy is like.

You see, unlike Doc Johnson's other toys which feature a gaping wide open 'vagina,' the Nikki Tyler toy's is closed, like a vagina usually is when not occupied. But the plastic is so hard that you can't get into it. That's why, if you look on Web sex toy sites, the Doc Johnson vaginas have such wide openings: it's because the material they use has absolutely NO elasticity. It's fucking unbelievable. Did we get a defective one? Did they accidentally mix concrete with the plastic? We have no idea. All we know is we're out $80.

We can't even rate the usefulness of this toy because we couldn't use it! That's why it gets all zeroes, except for the durability. This thing is so tough it'll be around until the next ice age. The only problem is finding a place to throw ours away since it's so damn big.

Anyway, that's all we can say about the toy, since we couldn't use it. It comes with a little vibrating device that might be nice if you could get your dick inside. But we couldn't, so oh well...

Please do not make the mistake of purchasing this turkey unless you have no nerves in your penis. Even if you managed to get inside the thing, one stroke would whittle your cock into hamburger. It's not even as good as Topco's Cyber Sex Buddy. At least you can use that one. Unless you're looking for an $80 ornamental vagina to put on your shelf or something, steer clear of this one.

Overall Impression

Fucking joke. If Doc Johnson puts out this kind of crap, that's the last thing we buy from Doc Johnson. Go with Devon's Private Pleasures or Hustler's Pocket Pal.

Reputable net vendors who sell the Pocket Pal are listed on the right of your screen, along with their respective prices.

© 2001 Jason's Sex Toy Reviews. All rights reserved. Contact toyreviews@yahoo.com.