| So, you want to move to California? Alright! But before you buy a yurt and go shopping for a Mexican gardener, here are some caveats that might make you want to stay in Bad Axe,MI or Snoring,KS. If the California dream has you walking in your sleep and salivating on your shoes, here are 13 reasons why you should WAKE UP NOW and stay where you are. It can't be THAT bad, can it? |
 |
| Places to go other than California |
| Write the Tortoise |
| Me: |
| Email: |
| Next Stop: California |
| 13 reasons to stay out of California |
| 1. We actually named an airport after John Wayne. 2. Hitler's DNA used to clone our Department of Motor Vehicle employees. 3. Homosexuals will convert your children to their perverted agenda, as soon as they find an agenda that matches the curtains. 4. We will ridicule your accent until you are forced to move to a trailer park in Modesto with the rest of your kind. 5. The streets are paved with winos. 6. Recent law prohibits cable cars from going more than 1/4 of the way to the stars. 7. Not much chance of alien abduction due to high abduction tax. 8. Your children will be taught by Korean fruitpickers and forced to worship Buddha in the schools. 9. Everyone here is from somewhere else. Why not just stay where you are? 10. Our governor is a transvestite. 11. Beating you wife on Super Bowl Sunday is against the law here. 12. Isn't this the State your mother warned you about? 13. Arnold Schwarzenegger. |
| Tortoise |
|
 |
 |
   |
 |