March 5th

Dear Truthie Diary,
Kayla is turning everyone against me! She’s telling them that I started our fight and since they know her longer than me they are taking her side! First of all, if she hadn’t read my letter to Ashley she never would have known that I didn’t like her. So she has no reason to get mad at me for reading her mail, she reads other people’s mail! I was just keeping my feelings about her to myself, other than you and Sammie and of course Bluebird. But I didn’t want everyone to get mad at me so I kept my feelings to myself. But when she found out I didn’t see any reason to hide them anymore. I’m getting so very sick of her an her lying she told Alyssa (who’s sided with her) that I said she said something about Laura Kane that she claims she never did. That’s totally not true! She did make that comment about Laura, and I never said it to anyone! I only told you about it, never did I verbalize it! And it’s not like she’s completely innocent here! She’s called me Dominique the Demon! That’s worse than being called conceited or cocky those things can be fixed with a proper attitude adjustment. But being called a demon is just plain mean! Why do people have to be so cruel? And they are making fun of me for not liking my name being shortened. It’s my name! Who cares why I prefer it to be said in full can’t they just accept it? And if they really wanted to know, why don’t they do what Eva did and ask me? Instead of just talking about it behind my back. Dominique is a beautiful, and I am glad my parents named me it. Just because their own names are awful doesn’t mean they can belittle mine! Kayla is a trailer park trash name, maybe that’s why I haven’t liked her from the start. All the Kaylas I have known were trash, I’m not kidding. And the way she’s acting isn’t changing my opinion any. And Alyssa is a snobby Russian. No wonder they are such great friends. The only difference is that Kayla can actually do well in competition, whereas Alyssa just lets herself and her coach and her whole team down. Just because your from Russia doesn’t mean you are great at gymnastics, I don’t know if you have noticed but they don’t always win. In fact, Romania beat them many times. I always root for Romania when it’s a competition not involving the US. Now I root even harder for them to beat any Russian competing. Marina is Russian but she’s nice. So if she said to root for someone from Russia, chances are I would have. I wonder if the Snakes (Alyssa and Kayla) will be recruiting Sammie and Eva to their side. I hope not, I don’t want people to take sides. I didn’t want this to become a war within Topopolilly, it’s just between me and Kayla and now Alyssa. If that snob hadn’t taken Kayla’s side she wouldn’t be in it, but the minute she did she became a part of the war. Yes, war. I am really hurt and really angry now. I am ready for war with whoever opposes me. I don’t care anymore what others might think. I already feel like everyone hates me now because of Kayla. Why couldn’t she just have minded her own business? If she had no one would be in this mess right now. It wasn’t hurting anyone until she found out and now look what’s happened. Well, I don’t care how awful the situation gets here, I am not leaving. I have just as much right to train here as they do and they can’t force me to leave just because I feel a certain way about someone! Even if they all gang up on me I am not leaving. I don’t know if I can even count on anyone for support. I think they all either will want nothing to do with this or they’ll take her side. Not even my Lilly squad can be counted on, I’m afraid. I said I didn’t people to take sides, but that’s a lie. I want someone to be on my side. Someone who thinks I am entitled to my feelings and that Kayla is wrong for turning everyone against me. I mean someone who actually resides in Topo, not my family or Austin because I know they’d back me up one hundred percent. It’s hard to fight and win a war if your the under dog, but it has been done before and I am prepared to fight as long as it takes to win. I feel kind of like the Colonists when they had to fight Britain. According to one source, they (the Colonists) didn’t want a war. They tried to peacefully become an independent nation but Britain wanted war, so with no other way to get what they wanted the Colonists fought the war as best they could. They were at disadvantages because the British had more men and more training but eventually the Colonists won. And I am glad they did. Now I just have to apply that same dedication and perseverance (which I have shown time and time again that I have great quantities of that) and fight this war that I never wanted to fight in the first place. Kayla said she never wanted this to happen but that has to be a lie. If she didn’t want this to happen then why didn’t she just let it go when she found out I didn’t like her? Instead she blew up at me to find out why and then continued it by calling me names and talking about me behind my back and now dragging others on to her side. Whether or not she’ll admit to wanting this to happen or not, it’s happening. Now, I need to organize and figure out some plans and how to carry them out. This is war and I am determined to win. Or die trying!
Love,
Dominique

March 4th

Dear Truthie Diary,
More sad news, Marina is leaving. It’s really sad, so many are leaving. Marina was one of the top placed Lilly squad-ers and she was really a great friend and teammate. I’m going to miss her very much! She is leaving because she doesn’t feel the love for the sport like she used to. She isn’t quitting but she is going back to being a Level 10, which means switching to a new gym since Topo is elite only. Every squad here has lost atleast one member, and I think we are all a bit scared to really get clos with each other for fear they will leave. The spirit around Topo is really quiet, the gym used to be lively and full of fun and hard work. Now it’s hard work and polite conversations. It’s almost eerie, as if we are all waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I bet any day now another gymnast will announce her departure. It’s really sad here, the other girls were still strangers to me really. Marina wasn’t. We weren’t very close but we still got along better than I did with a lot of the others. Ashley and Marina leaving has really hurt me, I can’t really explain it but I don’t feel the same. I feel like crying and my throat has a lump in it and I just want to be alone. I wonder if Zipporah felt like this when a bunch of the team there started to leave. One by one (two in my case as Nadia left when I did since we were moving) all the top gymnasts left, leaving only Zipporah to actually go on and become an elite at the gym. I know she was really lonely, even though she’d never admit to missing teammates. She likes to believe that she doesn’t need friends or teammates but she really does. Is that what it’s going to be like here? Who is next? I have no plans to leave, and I am not thinking about switching gyms or anything either. I’m staying here no matter what. Even if Topo were to close they would have to tie me up and drag me out!

Practice was mediocre today. I did some things very well but struggled on other things. My Comaneci on bars gave me the most trouble, I just couldn’t regrasp the bar. I was off on my whole routine but it was most notable on that skill. Unfortunately every full bar routine was much the same, unlike beam where I did great then struggled but came back and redeemed myself. Floor was just practicing tumbling and vault wasn’t that great, I lacked power and didn’t pay attention to my form. I am going to work harder tomorrow, everday I work to be better than the day before. Some times I succeed and other times I fall short but I always strive to live that way. My grandfather told me that when I was frustrated after one of my first competitions, and I have tried to live by it ever since. I think it has helped me through a lot of problems, because I believe that tomorrow will be better. I can’t let myself quit after a bad day because tomorrow will be better. Bad competition? Doesn’t matter, tomorrow will be better. Poorly timed injury? Doesn’t matter, tomorrow will be better and it will heal and I will be better the gymnast (and person) for it. Some people have commented that I sometimes seem older than twelve, because of my attitude and “philosophy” on certain things. I don’t know, I’ve just had really great teachers. I think more children are like me then people think, unfortunately there are some who are far from being like us and they give children in general a bad name. Teenagers are stereotyped as being out of control and dangerous, when really most are very thoughtful and caring. It’s just that bad images seem to stick longer in people’s minds that they automatically think “Juvenile Delinquent” when they hear “teenager”. I think it also comes from past generations. The teens of the thirties and forties have been dubbed America’s greatest generation but then along came the rebellious teens of the fifties but more so of the sixties, seventies and eighties. Even into the nineties, teenagers were viewed and I think many acted rebellious. Maybe partly because of the way society viewed them. But if you really look at the majority of teens today, they are not close to the old stereotype. I’m not sure if that is the case with every generation, that most are genuinely good but it’s the “bad apples” that get noticed and create a bad rep for that generation or what but I think it should stop. I’m going to be a teenager soon and I don’t want people to have a bad stereotype towards me. Not that that is really likely at all since I’ll probably still look like I’m seven, but you know what I mean.

Anyway, I did some spying last night and you wouldn’t believe the number of people who snore or talk in their sleep! A certain redhead argues with herself in her sleep, it’s really funny! I taped it, I have watched it over and over because it is so hilarious. Of course I haven’t told anybody or shown them the video. If she ever becomes really famous I think I’ll sell it to a tabloid or something and get loads of money! Just kidding, I wouldn’t do that. Well, I might. I guess we’ll just have to see! A certain verbal leader of Lilly talks to Orlando Bloom in her sleep, I have a feeling she dreams about marrying him, she was saying vows and calling herself Mrs. Bloom. I also had to videotape a certain angry man, and I am highly tempted to show everyone the tape but I don’t want them to know I have been spying. It’s great though, in his sleep he talks about flowers and is actually encouraging his squad with nice things. “That’s beautiful!“ “Nice try, you can do it!“ And the best line was, “Now let’s all gather around for a group hug.“ Now, I am definitely selling this tape to a tabloid if he ever becomes a really famous coach! And it wasn’t even like he was having a nightmare either! I think the tough guy act is just a facade, he really is as nice as Coach Soyon.
Love,
Dominique

March 3rd

Dear Truthie Diary,
The fundraiser went amazingly well yesterday! We were able to raise a lot of money for the children’s hospital. I’m not sure on the exact amount but it was definitely substantial. Austin did a comedy routine and I did my beam and lots of the other kids displayed their talents and we really entertained the patients, I think. I was surprised at how many recognized who me. I didn’t think that many would have watched the American Cup, but I guess when you’re in the hospital there isn’t that much to do besides watching tv. I got to sign a few casts! I don’t know why I got such a thrill out of it but for some reason I thought it was exciting to sign a cast. I’ve never done it before and that may be why. You should see all the different colors and designs that casts come in! While we were there we also toured the facility and they showed us the many casts. Besides the plain white, they had neon colors and pastels and in between colors. Plus they had ones with designs on them. Snowflakes, skiers, and even a dance one! I asked about a gymnastics one and they said they’d look in to it, so that I could have it if I ever broke an arm or leg. Naturally, they are hoping that never happens to me but it’s nice to know they are gonna be prepared! Oh, I didn’t tell you. They are going to be sponsoring my gymnastics career! I was honored when they asked me to be a sort of spokesperson for them but then when they said that in return for my helping them increase awareness for children’s health issues and other things, they’d pay for my training at Topo. I don’t know if it’s all my training or what but I am so honored that they are helping me achieve my goals. I am helping them achieve theirs as a thank you.

The furnace is fixed! It was fixed last night so we were able to be warm for bed anyway. I hope it never breaks down again, that was awful! But it did make me think about how life must have been before there were furnaces to heat homes. Every day in the winter and may be even some in the summer must have been like the day we had yesterday. Only they didn’t really have any hope for warmth to suddenly come. They had to live like that everyday and go about their daily chores and activities anyway. Some countries in the world may still be living like that. That’s awful, I wonder what I can do to help. I know how horrible our one day without heat was, but I bet theirs is tons worse. Because they have to go outside and some might not be able to even dress in layers, we were all in multiple layers and had lots of blankets. But I’m sure there are lots who don’t even have enough blankets for everyone in their family. I remember watching the Frontier House and they were really cold when they had snow. Plus they were caught be surprise at the snow and one family didn’t have all the laundry done. So the girls had to go out and milk the cow and do their other chores while wrapped in blankets because they didn’t really have anything else to wear. Their clothes were wet and since they had no way of drying them they couldn’t wear them. I think they didn’t even have socks to wear.

I think it would be fun to travel back in time like that but also very difficult. Life is always going to be difficult though. Even now it is still full of difficulties and problems. They are just different than, say, fifty years ago. And fifty years from now they will probably think we had it made compared to them. I don’t think there is any way of getting rid of life’s problems, nor do I really want to live in a problem free world. Think about it. A life completely free of complications. It may sound great but really think it over. I think it would be rather dull, may be nice at first but after awhile I would need conflict. A life without conflict would be boring. Gymnastics has conflict, sometimes I have difficulty with a trick or an event and then there are competitions. In a world without conflict, gymnastics and other sports couldn’t exist because competition couldn’t exist. Or may be they would, but it wouldn’t be the same as today.

I think Atler is spiking my drinks again. She’s denying it but there has to be some reason why I am still really hyper! Unless maybe Eva is doing it. She has admitted to spiking people’s water with caffeine, so I guess she’d be capable of other things. Or Sammie! Hmm... What do we really know about this cranberry (or whatever color her hair is) headed girl from Oregon? Not much. She could be anybody! OOO maybe I better keep my eye on her! I could go around spying on her like Harriet the Spy, I wonder what I’d find out about her. Maybe I’ll do that, spy on everyone. Even the coaches! This should be fun, I’ll definitely learn more about my teammates! I think I’ll suggest this to Zipporah next time I talk to her, then we can compare notes and find out whether Cascade Locks is weirder than Topo or if Topo is Tops in weirdness. And we can compare coaches to athletes, I bet the coaches are weirder in general than the gymnasts. Oh, this is going to be soo much fun! Like a science experiment or something! I better be careful though, I have a feeling not everyone would like to be spied on. It’s been awhile since I’ve read Harriet the Spy (okay, it’s been years) but I remember it didn’t turn out very nice when the students found out she was spying on them. I’ll just have to be more careful with my spy notebook. And come up with my own secret code for messages so that no one can read them if they ever found my notebook. Zipporah and I can have our own secret code, that way when we talk about the secrets no one will be able to overhear us. Or to read and understand over the internet. Oh, I’m so excited, I’m going to go get started right now!
Love,
Dominique

March 2nd

Dear Truthie Diary,
I am so cold! All day it has been freezing here, something is wrong with the furnace. We still had practice though but we all wore our warmups throughout and we had many impromptu warmup sessions to keep ourselves loosened up. I had a hard time staying warm and I still am really cold, despite having several layers on! Eva and I were wondering if it would actually be warmer outside but we didn’t dare check! We’ve been having cup after cup of hot chocolate to try and keep our insides warm. And we all huddled under blankets in the lounge to stay warm, we watched a movie but some girls did other things. I’m writing to you instead of watching the movie. I hate being cold. I mean a little is fine but when I get really cold I get sick and that is not a pretty sight!

I’m trying to think “warm thoughts”, supposedly it helps make you feel warmer. I don’t know, I think I’m to frozen to really get my mind off of anything but the cold! Eva and I tried to work off the cold by doing extra conditioning. We tried to stay in constant motion and had a really long run and then did lots of stretching and it helped some but eventually we got to tired to keep up the fast pace and then we went back to freezing after awhile. So we took a hot chocolate break and rested under layers of blankets and then caught up with Sammie for some extra training. We worked on floor a lot. Sammie’s working on a new floor but she refused to give us even the tiniest glimpse at it, how rude! Just kidding, I pobably would be top secret about a new floor too. I don’t have any plans for a new floor routine yet though. I really like my Animaniacs routine. So anyway, we did tumbling pass after tumbling pass and twirled in circles to get the blood pumping. Unfortunately there comes a point when you’re body just loses all the heat you got from activity and then you are cold again. Today seemed to really speed up that process. It was getting really annoying! My nose has been frozen all day. I have no idea how to warm up my nose. I’m wearing layers of clothes, three pairs of gloves and two headband things that go around your ears and still am having trouble staying warm during workout and after. Someone please fix the furnace!!!

My poor rubber duckies! They have nowhere to go to get warm. I’m trying to keep them under my blankets but there are so many of them! I feel awful seeing the ones that don’t have a blanket to get under, they look so sad shivering there on a shelf! I feel like they are all asking why I didn’t choose them to be put under a blanket, they think I am playing favorites! I’m not I just don’t have enough blanket space for everyone! I’m going to go look around for some more blankets, maybe there is actually one here that isn’t being used! Oh, I hope so, I just need one blanket and then I can put all my rubber duckies under it. Maddie has her bears under a blanket, but they were able to huddle closer together than my ducks. Plus I think I have more ducks than she has bears.

Joy! I have located a blanket! Now all my ducks are going to be safe! Maddie and I have locked our door so that no one can steal the blankets. The other girls think we’re crazy for caring so much about our ducks and bears, but what do they know? And anyway, we are only using three blankets that no one else claimed before we found them. Besides, if they were in the ducks’s and bears’ places, wouldn’t they want someone to keep them covered with a blanket? I bet you they would! And I would hope they would be shown more consideration than they are showing the ducks and bears! Well, except for Kayla. She can go on freezing.

Zipporah called me last night. She was so excited about the prelims for her meet. It was really hard to understand her but I guess she did very well and qualified to event finals in everything except floor. That’s great, I just hope she doesn’t really die of shock like she thinks she will from making vault finals! Maybe after she does well (fingers crossed that she places well in finals) she’ll die of shock. Then she can atleast have a good reason to die. But right now she just qualified, and although that is amazing for her it isn’t the dying of shock amount yet. She has qualified in the past, before she started having problems on the event. I really hope she does well, she’s been having a rough time lately and I think she really needs to have a good meet to boost her confidence and motivate her to continue with gymnastics.

I finally visited her website and the layout is really nice. I was the first to sign her new guestbook, that was really cool for me! I need to update my website. I don’t even remember the last time it was updated! I suppose it says on my site but I haven’t checked. And I’m too cold to go and check it out right now, or even to work on it. I did talk to my family today and they are going to send a care package to me! They said they are including some things for some of the other girls as well. I can’t wait to see what they are! I tried to get it out of Nadia, but she wouldn’t tell me. Well, Truthie, it’s time for me to go to that fundraiser thing. Talk to you later!
Love,
Dominique

March 1st

Dear Truthie Diary,
The American Cup is today and guess what - I’m competing! I was so surprised to learn that one of the other American girls had withdrawn so Topopolilly was allowed to fill the open spot. I don’t know officially who the lucky gymnast is that gets to fill that spot but I think it’s me. I mean, I know for a fact the three girls from Topopolilly who will be competing but I just don’t know in what order we were selected. New rankings aren’t up yet, so I have no clue how I stand. And the way Coach announced the names really didn’t tell me much either. Sometimes she goes alphabetically, and sometimes she goes in order selected. But in this case it could very likely be both! Atler and Kayla Coolmen are the other two competitors and they were named in that order so it looks alphabetical but I also know from the rankings that are currently up that Atler is number one, Kayla is number two and I am number four. So I’m betting I passed Emily, or I would think she would be going instead of me. So it looks like I am third in the rankings, if not higher. I doubt I am higher though, it’s really tough to place any higher. We are all working so hard to stay in the top that I don’t think I can ever get higher than third unless something happens and Atler or Kayla don’t workout for a day. That’s how close it is, miss one workout and you drop out of the top three. Maybe even out of the top five but I really don’t know about that. I missed a workout in the last rankings period and I fell to fourth. But it was an off time in away. Not everyone was working out as hard as they usually do, I have no idea why. As far as I am concerned, I am here to train. So whether Coach is busy or not, I’m going to train. Unless she locks up the gym, I’m still going to go in everyday and work hard. My parents are paying way too much money for me to slack off. And I love being here, I love practicing gymnastics. You know how much I love this sport, it’d take a whole lot to keep me from training!

One month until my thirteenth birthday! I am so looking forward to it, I feel like just declaring a month long celebration in honor of my finally turning thirteen! And just think, three years from then I’ll be driving! I want to get a custom painted car, and have rubber duckies all over the car! But maybe I’ll just settle for a yellow car. Then again I do have three years to decide, so no rush now! I should start thinking about what I want to do to celebrate becoming a teenager. It’s really a big deal to me, I want to have a really big party. But I also have to consult with Nadia, because she’ll be a big part of the celebration. We weren’t born on exactly the same day but we still like to celebrate together. She was born March 31st at 11:57pm and I was born April 1st at 12:03am. We have tried having a party for her on March 29th and a party for me on April 1st but it wasn’t that much fun, plus two separate cakes and ice cream was a lot for us to eat. So we usually combine it in to a long sleepover party. Most of our friends were from gymnastics, so after morning workout everyone would come over to our house and we would have tons of fun. In the evening, we’d have ice cream and Nadia would open her presents. Everyone would sleep over (our birthday’s were usually during spring break) and we’d have a party for me in the afternoon. This time we’d have cake and Nadia and I would blow out the candles together . This year I think it’d be cool if Nadia came and spent the night at Topo. But I don’t know if she’d want to do that since she’s still afraid of the gym.

My ducks are arriving this month! I am so excited about that, I can’t wait for them to come! Too bad Ashley isn’t here anymore, she was a big help in my getting all the duck information so that I could pick which breed. Hopefully she’ll be able to visit sometime and I can show her my ducks. I’ll have to send her pictures of them and maybe she can help me name them.

I wonder if Sammie likes ducks. I don’t know if she’s an animal person or not. I don’t think I’ve heard her mention anything about animals before, so maybe she doesn’t even like them. Oh, but how can someone not like ducks? They are so sweet and cute and innocent! Snakes on other hand are vicious and ugly and cruel. They do not belong around humans. Although I’m sad that Kelly left, even though I didn’t really know her, I am glad that monster she called a pet is gone. Atleast I hope she took that thing with her! What if she didn’t? That monster could be slithering all over the place! She had to of taken him, she wouldn’t be so cruel to me as to leave him behind, would she? I hate snakes, I hate them, I hate them! I hate snakes way more than Zipporah hates losing!! They scare me so much, I’m about to pass out just from thinking about them!

Alright time to change the topic, let’s see... Zipporah has a new layout for her website. She told me about it but I haven’t been on the internet yet to check it out. I will when I get the time. Hopefully I can change my layout a little bit too. I still want the duck theme but I would like to make it easier to navigate if that is possible. Well, I’d better go now.
Love,
Dominique

February 28th

Dear Truthie Diary,
Well, we heard from Ashley today. She’s at Cascade Locks now. Isn’t that cool, she gets to train with Zipporah! I hope we can compete against them sometime soon, or better yet compete on a team with them. That would be cool. But Zipporah isn’t much of a team player. She plays to win, I prefer to play to play.

Practice is continuing to go very well. I am really excited about this season. It’s going great so far and I feel I am more than capable of keeping it up. I’m surprising myself everyday. When I made it to elite, I never expected to actually do well. I never even expected to make it to the elite level. I believe I have told you this before but I have never dreamed of becoming and elite and competing internationally. I started gymnastics because I thought it would be fun and then it was and I kept doing it because of that. When I got good enough I started to compete because it looked like fun. I never had any other intentions and I still don’t really. Sure I would love to win a medal at some big meet. And I would love to beat Kayla at something. But if I never do I am fine with that. Que sera sera I think is the saying. Atleast I hope that’s the right saying!

I watched some TV today, and I saw Dateline. They had a story on called “Nightmare on Flight 9” or something similar. I didn’t catch the whole program but it sounded scary, but really neat at the same time. I mean, it was something that you’d think would only happen in a fiction story or something. This British Air plane was flying at night (I assume) and it was over the ocean when weird things started happening to it. Smoke started filling the cabin but the flight attendants couldn’t find a fire on the aircraft. Then there were sparks or something dancing off the plane. I think they called it a St. Elmo’s Fire effect. It looked cool but I’m sure it was really scary because it was real and unexplained. Then they noticed the engines seemed to just kind of glow, no explanations for that either. I guess the pilots were watching that and then suddenly on of them noticed that an engine had just gone out on them. Which was not too bad because they still had three that worked and would be able to power themselves still. Unfortunately it wasn’t too long before the guy called out the engine three had failed and then engine two and then engine one. So they now had no engines working and the unexplained light show thing. Freaky, but everyone amazingly stayed calm and the pilots got to work doing what they were supposed to in situations like this. They called in to the nearest airport and told them they had lost all four engines. But the controllers could fully understand the message because whatever was making the lightshow was also messing up the radio signal or whatever it is they use to talk. So the controllers thought only one engine had failed. I don’t know if they eventually understood or not. The program didn’t really say either way. The pilots started to slowly descend, as they were hoping the engines would restart when they reached a lower altitude, but they didn’t. At some point balls of fire were coming out of the engines, another unexplained phenomena (I think). They pilots couldn’t see them but some of the passengers could. I bet that was scary, I definitely wouldn’t have wanted to have been on this flight! Oh wait, it gets worse. Because on of the co-pilots mask things didn’t work the captain decided to descend faster, I think it was so that the co-pilot would live or something. That is if they were able to somehow avoid a huge crash or something. At some point the auto pilot quite working so they had to manually direct the plane and it was like being on a rollar coaster. The plane would be going down and then they would have to bring the nose back up and then go down again and back up. If I had been on this plane I definitely would have been panicking right now, if not sooner. Zipporah probably would have already passed out already. But it still gets worse, the cabin lights go out. So now they are gliding in the air with freaky lights outside the plane and no lights inside. I have no idea how they survived because at this point I was getting so freaked out from just watching the animations that Dateline had made up that I couldn’t handle watching anymore of the show. I left them room but am dying to know the end of the story. I know they survived because they were interviewing them for the sure. I am so curious as to how they made it. Did the engines eventually restart? did they end up making it to their destination by gliding their way there? Someone tell me! I think I will look on the internet later and see if I can find some information on this. Sorry to leave you hanging but I am just as anxious to know what happened as I am sure you are.

Sunday is the fundraiser for the Children’s Hospital. I am so excited, I’ll be performing my beam routine at the hospital for the children who are staying there. And I’ll be raising money to help cover the costs of the hospital and that’s really cool. The hospital is really great, they care so much that sometimes they help parents cover the cost of treatment when they’d normally not be able to afford quality care like that. I really wanted to help them out when I found out where some of there money goes. Love,
Dominique

February 27th

Dear Truthie Diary,
The Three-Way meet was great! We actually won the team gold medal! I was so surprised, I figured Russia would have it for sure. I placed third and am happy with it. Atler is a little upset with herself, she placed eighth. I think she still do well though, all her scores were 9.0 or above. Maybe the judges were just being harder on her for some reason. Anyway, she’s been doing great at the prior meets. Maybe she needs more experience competing away from Topo, because she does great at Topo meets but disappoints herself outside. You-Know-Who placed first. I got mad at Atler for congratulating her on “running away with the meet”. She didn’t run away with it! The second place girl from Australia was only .05 behind that girl. Guess what I noticed, I had the highest floor score! I’ve never placed first on anything - ever! Unfortunately , event medals weren’t awarded. But still I am so pleased with myself, floor was my weak event when I first started here. I have been spending lots of time improving it and the 9.7 I received was a huge success to me.
Practice has been going well. There is another meet this weekend, National Podium Meet. The American Cup will also be taking place, I don’t think I will be selected to compete in the American Cup though. It’ll probably be Atler and You-Know-Who, since they are the top two in the rankings. But the posted rankings are kinda old so they probably aren’t the greatest indicator. I’ve been really working hard, I want to get back up in to the top three. Yikes, I just realized that the National Podium Meet is tomorrow. I’d better do a pre-meet workout today. I wish I knew for sure if I will be competing at the NPM. I guess it’s silly to think I wouldn’t be but still I like to know the facts of things. Actually, if the American Cup is only for Seniors then You-Know-Who won’t be competing. It’ll probably be Atler and Emily Yim. I’m rooting for Atler, naturally, but I still want to see Emily do well. But if Kayla does compete I guess I want her to do well to.

Maybe. Honestly, I don’t know. Would it be so bad if she got hurt? I know it’s a cruel thought but I can’t help but sometimes wish something would happen to her. I feel a little like Zipporah! It’s not that I want her out my way so I can be the top junior, I’ve never been number one (well, until recently on floor) so I can’t say I hate being anything lower. And I honestly don’t mind being ranked where I am. You know that my participating in gymnastics is 100 percent pure love of training the sport. Results mean nothing to me. Sure it’s great to do well and not so much to do poorly, but since I set my goals differently than others I can’t really say I can ever do poorly. Still, something makes me feel like Zipporah must when she’s not the top gymnast. Like I’m not liked or something if I am not on top. What’s happening to me? I’ve never felt this way before and it’s really scaring me! I don’t want to be the type of competitor that wants gold or nothing. You don’t think I am turning in to that, do you? Don’t answer that, I think I already know the answer.

Kayla just congratulated me for doing well at the meet, even though I hate her. Oh sure, now she’s going to go and be all sweet because she won and I didn’t and I made that remark about her in front of everyone. She’s just trying to get everyone to like her so they won’t like me anymore. That is totally unfair! She started this whole thing by being conceited! And she still is conceited, she won and now she’s congratulating and trying to encourage those who didn’t. But I can tell there is an air of snobbiness in the way she’s telling them what the did well. She can coach all she wants, it doesn’t make me like her any more. It’s like she’s rubbing in the fact that she won over all of us. I know it’s incredibly cruel but I so very much want her to fall and do horribly and get yelled at by her coach. Oh I wish the coaches would announce who is being sent to the American Cup! That’s what I am really waiting for. I want to tell you for sure who is going. I know you’re just dying to know.

In other news, school is going great. It’s actually only a few months until summer vacation, I’m so excited! Then I can spend even more time in the gym and get better and better and beat Kayla!! Sammie and I should have a one on one competition sometime. Zipporah and I used to do them and they are so much fun, of course I never won but still it was fun to try. Or another game we used to play, when we were much younger, was where we would pretend we were competing on tv and we’d try and show off our skills and better the others. It was a skill by skill thing originally because it was a way of practicing the compulsory skills. One of us would pretend to be filming and the “performer” would get on the beam or whatever and the “filmer” would also pretend to be an anouncer and would announce the performer and say what skill. Then the performer would do it as best she could and dismount and present. It was lots of fun! Her dad sometimes would let her bring in his real video camera and we’d actually tape our performances. And we’d do pretend onscreen interviews as if we had just won a big meet or something. Sometimes they’d be tied in with the performance. Like if I fell, Zipporah would ask me questions like, “So Ducky, how does it feel to fall flat on your face with 50,00 people watching?” and of course I’d give a snappy comeback. Okay, so you don’t see that kind of thing at real televised competitions but we had fun. Especially when we made fun of the commentators! Commentary is great, I wish more meets were televised so that we can hear more corny commentary. Did you know that when Zipporah was in the All-Around at the Jr. Pan Ams one of the commentators said that the score she received would keep her “right where she wants to be”? Yeah, the thing that was so hilarious was that it placed her off the leaderboard! Zipporah couldn’t figure out why that was exactly where she wanted to be, she would much rather be at the top and you’d think they would have known that! Another commentator at a different meet once said something along the lines of one girl will being tying the leader with the same score. It was only after rotation one, so as far as I can tell wouldn’t you have to have the exact same score in order to tie? Really, some people are so silly.
Love,
Dominique

February 24th

Dear Diary,
I just finished practice and it was really good. We started on vault and I am really improving on it lately! Beam was next and I fell on my front tuck from one foot. I lost concentration and wobbled significantly the rest of the routine. But the next routine I had gotten things together and did much better, and I continued to improve the next eight routines. Then we did lots and I mean LOTS of conditioning, I was glad when it was over but I also felt good for doing the conditioning. We worked exclusively on dismounts and would be allowed to stop once we as a group and stuck ten in a row. Everything was going well and then my turn came and I did my dismount and landed but had to fight and fight but in the end took a step. Everyone was supportive and we just started over again and got a streak going and then it was my turn and I dismounted and once again fought and fought but had to take a step. Coach and my squad were nice about it and we started over and yet again I had the same problem! I just couldn’t get myself to stick, I was coming so close it was really getting frustrating for me and my squad because I kept breaking the streak. But as frustrating as I found it, I also found it hilarious and couldn’t help but burst out laughing after the sixth time. And then I couldn’t stop laughing! My squad was not happy, I think they thought I was messing up on purpose now. But I wasn’t! I honestly gave my best effort and I fought hard for the landing but I just couldn’t help but move my foot.

Lindsay Matthews left today. She was on the Opilly squad. I think she’s the third girl to leave, all in this month too. Lilly is the only squad that hasn’t lost a member yet but I have a feeling we may soon. Vada’s name wasn’t on the rankings and she hasn’t been active as far as I know, she could just be sick or injured but I have a feeling she’s going to leave. I’ll try and find out though and let you know. I hope no one else leaves, if this trend continues Topo will be gymnast-less before summer! I haven’t heard anything about any new girls joining so it looks like squads may be shuffled a bit to make things more even. I really like the squad I am on right now, I don’t want anything to change!

I’ll be getting my ducks in March, I’m soooooo excited! I have no idea what to name them, I think I may ask the girls for help. I want descriptive and cute names but also ones the ducks themselves will like. Ducks have feelings too, you know. I’ve been trying to think of what other ducks are named but my mind is drawing a blank right now. No, it is literally drawing a blank. It’s long and bright yellow. I think I’m a little tired but not tired enough to take a nap or anything. I hate feeling this way, sluggish and like I just want to lay around and do nothing. Only I can’t, because I am supposed to be doing school and then I have a meeting for that youth volunteer group.

Yay, I am so excited about the meeting. I really love this group and am excited to be a part of something so great. I love helping people out, no matter what. Plus I like having a break from Topo. It’s a great place but it isn’t good to stay there all day everyday. This way I can get out and socialize with other people and concentrate on something other than gymnastics. That’s why I haven’t told anyone about the group. I like having something to myself and although I would love for them to join, I don’t want it to suddenly become another Topo thing. So everytime we have a meeting or an activity I sneak out to the carpool. Not even Coach Lois knows I have gone, I hope she doesn’t need me sometime when I am gone. I don’t think she’d appreciate not being informed about my whereabouts, but that’s just how important it is to me to keep it a secret. I’m not Zipporah, I don’t think I’ve ever kept anything from my coach before. Well, except Zipporah’s secrets of course. But that’s not the same thing. And it’s not like I’m injured or sick and keeping it from my coaches, I’m just going away for a while during free time. And I’m doing something very nice, so where’s the bad? I know, I know the bad is not telling my coaches where I am going.

I’m glad Sammie’s back and training again. We have a friendly rivalry going and I can’t wait until she catches up to me in the rankings. My rivalry with Sammie is a lot different than the one I have with Kay-Kay Go Away, Sammie and I are friends. It’s rather obvious that Kayla and I pretty much can’t stand each other. Atleast I thought it was obvious but the other day Eva was surprised to hear that I didn’t like Kayla and that Kayla didn’t like me. Either she’s a great actress or she really was surprised, I was surprised that she hadn’t noticed our glaring at each other and name calling and the fact that we go out of our way to avoid each other. Sometimes it’s impossible though and then the tension is thick. I don’t know how we managed to survive the workout on Saturday and the meet Sunday without a major incident but we did. That in itself deserves the gold, I think! I’ll write more about the competition later but right now I have to get my schoolwork done and then get ready for the meeting. Somehow I am also going to try and squeeze in a dance class. We’re supposed to have three a week, I think, but there’s no set schedule. We just know when they dance room is available and we show up whenever we have the time. Maybe Sammie will join me in a dance session. I know her sister loves dance but I hope Sammie agrees to come with me. I want someone to help me improve my floor dance, besides the instructor.
Love,
Dominique

February 23rd

Dear Diary,
The meet’s today and I am so excited! This will be my second meet outside of Topo since coming here and my first in Indiana. I can’t wait to go out and show what I have been training. I know we can do well.

I love the feeling I get before meets, a mix of excitement and nervousness. More excitement than nervousness but it’s a nice energizing feeling. The better prepared I feel the more excited and energized the feeling is and it makes me feel so anxious to get into the gym and perform. I have been training extra hard all week in preparation, so you can imagine how anxious I am right now!

I get hyper really easily, actually all my emotions come easily. All week I have been so jazzed and now I think it’s spreading! Marina and I have been tumbling around the place singing whatever comes into our heads and laughing at just about anything! It’s sooo much fun!! Everyone is giving us weird looks and I think we’re annoying them but who cares? We can’t help how hyper we are! And I wouldn’t blame the candy and sugar, not entirely anyway, I’m jazzed about how ell I’m doing and something else that I can’t figure out yet. Ever had one of those times when something is causing you to feel a certain way but you don’t really know what it is? I hate them, it drives me crazy (literally in this case) until I figure out what is causing the feeling.

You know what I was thinking about the other day? What if for some reason I suddenly couldn’t compete anymore? Would I still train gymnastics or would I quit because I’d get tired of training without a meet to prepare for? My quick answer was that I’d stick with the sport. But when I really gave it some thought I haven’t been able to give an honest answer. I love gymnastics but one of the things I love is setting goals and working towards accomplishing them. Plus I love being out in front of crowds of people and showing them what I have been training. I think I would really miss that if I ever had to stop. But I also love just the day to day training and sometimes feel that if I never showed off at a meet again I wouldn’t mind. I honestly love training. Some gymnasts tire a little of the day to day of the sport but continue for the thrill of competing but I honestly am thoroughly still in love with doing every skill. I’m like a little kid just starting gymnastics, even though I have been doing this for years. I just get so much joy from tumbling and dancing and wearing leotards and track suits and the smell of hard work and chalk and the sounds of everything. Everything about gymnastics is the greatest, even the injuries are not so bad in the long run. I have definitely had my share of them and they have all been frustrating, especially when I was supposed to be competing in an important meet and the day before or the morning of I’d get injured and either would compete anyway but not do as well or have to sit out. But still, they are a part of gymnastics and I absolutely love gymnastics. But I don’t know if that alone would make me stay if I couldn’t compete. Competing is a big part of gymnastics but it isn’t necessarily a required part.

Zipporah’s excited, Cascade is getting new team leotards. She’s been complaining about their “ugliness”, so she’s excited about helping to select new ones. It’s a good thing they are sticking with blue and green, or she’d have to change her hair! I think that if Zipporah couldn’t compete anymore she’d just quit gymnastics. I know that she loves it, especially bars, but I don’t think she’d be able to handle just training. She’s too competitive, chances are she’d just find another sport and compete in that.

Sammie just came in, and she brought chocolate. We’re going to hide some around them room and see how long it takes for Marina to find them. OO I just had an idea, someday we (all at Topo but Marina) should hide candy and then we can see how long it takes for Marina to find everything. I bet her nose would lead her right to them. She has this weird way of detecting candy, she knows the whereabouts of the tiniest piece in a huge radius. She’s really amazing that way. I wonder if anyone has ever thought of taking her in and selling her to science for testing? I bet they’d love to find out how she does it and how in the world she can consume so much and not look like she eats any. I consume more than most I guess but I also am extremely active, I don’t know if Marina is extremely active outside of practice.

I wonder what Sammie and the other girls would do if they suddenly couldn’t compete anymore. How many are in this just for the competition and how many truly love gymnastics? It sounds odd but really after training this sport so much, some girls do get tired of it and even though they aren’t as excited about it as they used to be they still enjoy training and competing. But they don’t necessarily call it fun. I, on the other hand do. To me it’s my play time. It’s like I have succeeded in finding a way to have more play time than work time. And my parents are totally supporting it! How many kids would love to have less work and more play and be completely supported by their parents? I do do school and have some chores but really, most of my day is spent “playing “ at the gym! It’s more structured than “free” time but what is wrong with a little order in one’s life? Absolutely nothing!

Well, Truthie, I’m off to compete. Wish me luck!
*Good Luck, Dominique and Team USA!*
Thanks!
Love,
Dominique

February 22nd

Dear Truthie Diary,
Tomorrow is the USA/RUS/AUS competition. I’m really looking forward to it! I wish it were further away than just Indianapolis, because I love to travel but it’s nice that my family and friends will be in the crowd. Officially we haven’t been told what type of competition, but judging by the name I’d say team. Although it could have all-around as well. Some girls it might make a difference to but not me. I am always cheering my teammates on, even when I am competing against them. To me a team is a team no matter what. I want them to do well for Topo and for the USA. Since we are up against Russia, I honestly don’t think we can win. But, before you start yelling at me, I do think we can really put pressure on them and give them a good fight. It’s going to be fun seeing the routines of Russia and Australia. You know, I think I’d like to change the comment about not being able to win. We are the home team, so we could use that to our advantage like the Magnificent Seven did and pull off a win. Atler has the best chance of medalling for the US, she’s the only one to have scored above a 38 in the all-around. She did that both nights of the Squads Alive and even improved her score from night one. I really admire her, even if she does seem to insist on calling me Dom. Oh well, I let her because she is Atler after all.

My old teammates just called me Ducky when they got tired of saying Dominique, I don’t know why the Topo girls havent’s really caught on to that. It isn’t like I have kept my love of ducks a secret or anything. If I ever write an autobiography, I think that’s what I’ll title it Just Call Me Ducky. I still prefer being called Dominique over Ducky, but I understand that it gets kind of long and tiring to say. Sometimes I get tired of writing it out and am tempted to just write Ducky, or even break my own “rule” and use Domi. I guess I really culd if I wanted to, after all it is my name. But I feel that since I make the others refrain from it, I would feel like I was cheating or something if I called myself Dom or something.

Sammie’s back! Yay! We had a party last night to welcome her back, I was sooo very hyper and I actually still am. How I managed to get to sleep is beyond me. All I know is that I was bright eyed and bushy tailed for practice this morning. The 3-way team worked out together instead of with our regular squads. It was good, I got what I wanted done. I ignored Kayla and she ignored me, there was some tension to be felt but neither of us let it interfere with training. As much as I’d hate to say something nice about Kayla, she does have a few good qualities. She knew not to bug me and she hasn’t gone whining to Coach about our not getting along.

I talked with Marina last night. It seems like everyone is getting a redesigned website but me! She seemed really excited bout it, although I guess progress on it is slow. Zipporah’s mentioned something about a new look to her site and I already mentioned that Samantha Darling is working on her own site. I love the background on my site, but I think I’ll see if it can be changed a little just for fun. I think my sister should have a website, she is a really talented figure skater and deserves a site dedicated to her.

I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I’ve redesigned the Lilly website. And I am working on adding a bunch of things to it so that it’ll be totally cool, hopefully. It’ll probably be quite awhile before it’s done though because I don’t exactly have tons of time to work on it and I’m not sure if my squadmates will be doing much on it. It’s supposed to be our group project thing but I think I’m the only one who has really done anything lately on it. That’s okay though, I like working on websites. And since I redesigned the site and kind of organized the file directory they may be afraid of working on it! I just wanted a little order to it, make it easier for us to find things and see what’s what. Atleast I think it’s easier this way.

Today was awesome in practice. I hit all my routines! I have been doing that in pretty much every practice but it just feels so much better to hit them right before a meet. Granted, I wasn’t perfect but you know what I mean. Tomorrow I just want to do what I have been doing in practice and I want to clean up my form. I have form breaks on every event and wobbles on beam. I’ve improved tremendously but still the judges will find them, I have no doubt about that. My hyperness has helped on vault, I’ve been getting more power and it’s making Coach happy! And my floor routine has been extra peppy and beam too. Bars I think may be the event where I will have to keep my hyperness in check or I could really get hurt. I think that’s what happened at the meet against Tiger, I got too much power in my release and flew too far. I couldn’t reach to regrasp and ended up crashing into the low bar on my way to the floor. I could have been badly hurt but luckily I was only very sore from the impact. You know what bugs me though? No one even said anything to me about it. Some were concerned about Alyssa but she didn’t have a scary fall. Her bar routine was disastrous, but not potentially paralyzing. She couldn’t regrasp the bar and had major form errors but not once did she fall backwards onto the low bar. So what is the big deal? Doesn’t anyone care that I could have been seriously injured and maybe even unable to do gymnastics again? I think anyone in my situation would have felt like not finishing the routine. I didn’t want to but I knew that if I didn’t get back up on the bar and finish, I never would get back up. But did anyone say how incredible it was for me to do that? No, they told Alyssa that. I know I am jealous but I can’t help it. I just feel like nobody cared about me. It wouldn’t have been a big deal if they hadn’t gone crazy over Alyssa. She’s a senior, chances are she’s had routines like that before. I haven’t, I’m not only a junior but the youngest one here and I just did something that I have always feared. When I watched a tape about the Magnificent Seven it showed an old video of Kerri Strug. She messed up and crashed into the low bar and had to wear a brace for a long time. I think I read somewhere that she even had a come close to being paralyzed but luckily hadn’t hurt the part of her spine that would have been to be hit for that to happen. I have been so scared of something like that happening to me and it did. Luckily I only have soreness and a big bruise. I hit the bar near my bottom and I think that is why I didn’t end up worse off.

New rankings went up yesterday but I didn’t move at all. Atler is still number one!
Love,
Dominique

February 21

Dear Truthie Diary,
Practice is going very well. I’m going all out and training really hard for the meet. I really want to do well, but I am not hoping to medal. I just want to go and be prepared and do my best. When my confidence is low I don’t do well, so that’s why I am working extra hard in practice; it’ll be something I can honestly tell myself to buidl my confidence during the meet. That I trained the best I could and I am as prepared as all the others. Form has been a big focus point in practices, I use to have awful form and now I have improved. I can still get better though! About a week ago I decided to try a new tactic in training that I had heard. It’s to go and “attack” every routine. I have been working on doing that on each event during practice and I think it’s starting to become a habit for me. It’s good, after that scary fall at the meet against the Tigers I don’t think I could have made myself get back up if I didn’t decide to go and attack. And the next day I started off attacking and I didn’t fall. I think it is a very good approach.

Another thing I am doing is to set goals for myself for each practice. I only started it today but I think it is going well. I accomplished my goals on a couple things but not on others, although I did come close. Actually my goals are kind of vague, so it’s just a matter of opinion as to whether I accomplished them or not. In my mind I didn’t but in other people’s I may have.

I was talking with Eva yesterday and a thought occured to me. Since Coach Soyon is coming with us to the meet, who are the other Lilly Squaders going to be training with? I feel bad for them if they have to train with the Tigers. Eva thinks they may train with Opilly, but she isn’t concerned since she’ll be away for a funeral (I think that’s what she said). We also realized that of the six members, three are Lilly girls. Okay, so we already had noticed that but what we hadn’t realized that the three other girls are from different squads. I mean, one is a Tiger, one is from Pop and the other is from Opilly. So once again our squad is contributing the most members to a team! Lilly Rules! Eva and I are convinced that had we had a full squad at the meet, we would have beaten Opilly with no problem.

Monday we have another meeting of the volunteer group I joined. We’re planning a fundraiser for the Children’s Hospital, so they can get some important things. It’s been suggested that I give an exhibition performance as a way of getting money. I’ve agreed, and I’m going to ask some of the other girls if they’d like to join me. I think it’d bring in a lot of money. The community is really into gymnastics and they sometimes seem to know us better than we know ourselves, but they are nice to us and treat us as normal gilrs for the most part. They still ask for autographs which I am still feeling weird about. I don’t know why they’d want my autograph but I have had several people ask me for it and I’m starting to get some fan mail. It’s a totally new experience for me and I feel a very weird writing my name for someone. I do it and I am only very happy to but still I find it odd that a person’s name on a piece of paper or a t-shirt could bring such happiness. Really, it’s just me writing my name and sometimes a message. What’s the big deal? I see some of the older girls getting so many requests for autographs and receiving tons of fan mail and I sometimes hope that that won’t happen to me. So far I have received ten letters from fans and given my autograph to all of them plus about twenty other people. I love fan support and if I ever get anymore letters or autograph requests I won’t be mad or anything, I’d be extremely happy. I’m just saying that this whole practice of writing autographs and replies to fan mail just seems kind of funny to me. I guess I’m just not the kind who thinks a person’s signature is something to be treasured. But if that’s all it takes to make someone happy then hand over the pen :) I wonder what the other girls think about it. Do any of them ask for autographs of other top gymnasts? Anyway, back to what I was saying about the community. They are very supportive of us. I think you’d find that about any community that has a top gym like Topo. It’s really nice, I love it! My community back in Maine wasn’t like this. Those who knew we were gymnasts were supportive but I don’t think they really expected us to get very far. And when I trained at the gym near where my family now lives, they were more supportive and more gymnastically minded but nowhere near this community’s level. So you can imagine how odd an experience it is for me when I go outside of Topo and into the community. I have no idea how any of them heard of me, I certainly haven’t done anything outstanding that would bring attention to me, but somehow they knew my name and a lot of my background. Later I found out that when Topo had reopened the atleast one paper had done an article on the gym and had somehow acquired a list of the girls who were going to be training at Topo and they wrote about those who were returning and what they had done during the break and they also wrote about the new girls and our backgrounds.! I had no idea anyone would be so interested in us, so I was freaked when someone came up to me and called me by name and I had no idea who they were. That was when we had gone to the mall not long after Topo had reopened. Those of us who were new were kind of freaked by getting recognized but the older girls just laughed at us and told us to get used to it. I’m not sure if I can get used to it. I don’t think I really want to either. I don’t want to get a big head and I think that if I let myself get used to being recognized and getting fan amil and signing autographs then I would be getting a big head. The normal person doesn’t do those sort of things and although I am not normal (how many people do you know can do a Mo Salto on the bars?), I don’t want to start thinking of myself as famous or anything. I think I’m going to talk with Sammie and see if she’d kind of help me keep my head on straight. It’s always easier to do things when someone is there to check and make sure you don’t do something wrong.

I’ve started calling Sammie my imaginary friend. She keeps to herself so much that I sometimes wonder if she really exists. Zipporah mentioned her gym having a phantom, I think Topo has a ghost! Sammie the friendly ghost, the friendliest ghost you know. Or is it, Sammie the rebel ghost, the rebellest ghost you know? Yeah, I know rebellest isn’t a word but I couldn’t think of anything else!
Love,
Dominique

February 20

Dear Truthie Diary,
I have been selected to another competition! It’s Sunday and it is the USA/RUS/AUS 3-Way Team Challenge in Indianapolis, Indiana. I’m so excited! My family will be there and Austin and his family are going to be there too! The rest of the team is Atler, Marina, Sarah, Emily and unfortunately, Kayla. I have been kind of dreading the day when I would have to travel and compete with her as representatives of Topo. But atleast Coach Soyon will be with us. And we aren’t going that far away, so that’s good. But still one of these days we will and that’s going to be awful! How much you wanna bet that when we do travel, Kayla and I will end up sharing a hotel room. I think the coach assigns them, with my luck she’ll decide to do what the camp director on The Parent Trap does and put us together. I think Sammie would get a kick out of that but I would definitely NOT be laughing.

Training has been going very well. I am really working on improving form on everything but I especially want to on bars. Beam and floor are consistent but improvement is slow. Vault was okay today, I got great speed and power on my run but my blocks were funky and I was short on my landings. I didn’t sit any of them down but I did have to put in some really good fights. Overall I am happy with myself , I work hard everyday and I give one hundred percent in everything. It doesn’t matter so much to me whether I win a medal or not but I have noticed that I do have a desire to want to be remembered. I want to leave a mark on the gymnastics world. And I don’t think I have to win in order to do that necessarily. Some gymnasts are remembered for being beautiful to watch or unbelievably steady under pressure. Medals sometimes get forgotten. So I guess my goal for my gymnastics career isn’t necessarily to win big or go to the Olympics but to do great gymnastics and be remembered and admired for that. If you think about it, medals only mean you were better that day or series of days. But to be remembered for your artistry means you were good many times. And I think that’s better .

I’m really thinking that an Aylesbury would be the ideal duck breed for me. The are rather lazy, I’ve read and according to several people and a book they are probably the best breed for the purpose of being a pet. They are soooooooo cute! I was looking at them today on the internet and I just can’t wait to get my own. They are really pretty, solid white and not too big or too small. Everything is ready for them, we even worked out a delivery system for the supplies so that I never have to worry about them. All that is left to do is pick a breed and get the ducks. I think I’ll wait until the weather is warmer but I guess it depends on how anxious I get!

Are you dying to know what the project is yet? I guess you’ve waited long enough. We’ve been working on a magazine type thing! It’s called the Charlatan Chronicler and it can be found here. I hope you like it, we worked really hard on it. And I hope people visit it and participate some with it because I had lots of fun and I know Zipporah and Samantha did too. I think the Stars did too. We’re hoping to do a new issue each month but I guess it all depends on how busy we get and how many people actually read it and take the polls and send in stuff.

Zipporah and I chatted a little today. She’s number one again in the rankings at her gym. She says she hasn’t placed anywhere else since the whole time she’s been training there. Of course rankings weren’t done for the first couple months that she was there but still it’s great that she has been on top for so long. I guess they have a camp of some sort coming up and at first it was only for seniors but I guess juniors are also going to be invited now. Zipporah told me she hopes to go. Can you believe that? She’s number one and has been for awhile yet she doesn’t think she’s a shoe-in for the camp? I hope that psychologist she’s seeing helps her build confidence in herself. Her not being invited what be crazy! Unless it’s for people who need to work more, as opposed to the ones who do already.

I’m trying to decide whether I want to read a book or watch a movie. I have done both at the same time, but I’m not in the mood for that today. It’s really not that hard to concentrate on two plots at the same time. I don’t know why some people think it is. Usually I have five books that I am reading at the same time. But I know exactly what is going on in each one without having to reread anything. My mom thinks its weird but Nadia understands. She’s been doing the same thing, what can I say - it’s a twin thing!

Samantha (Darling not DeBrinski) has been working on an official site for herself. I saw the start of it today and I think it’s cool. When it’s finished I’ll show it to you.

I think Im going to go now. I want to get a snack and then I think I will do some coloring, atleast until I decided whether to watch a movie or read a book. I was an early bird today and am already finished with school, so I have some much appreciated free time! Talk to you later!
Love,
Dominique

February 19

Dear Truthie Diary, I did fairly well at the meet yesterday. I hit my events and that was really all I wanted to do. Opilly won but I honestly wasn’t concerned about trying to beat them and I don’t think my team was either. We don’t have a rivalry with Opilly. Not to mention they had two more gymnasts, so they were allowed to drop their two lowest scores on each event, while all of our scores counted. I think we did fairly well, all things considered. Kayla was talking about how Tiger lost and she said it was because we had a bigger team. She really needs to go back and learn to count! Yes, normally we have a larger squad but Eva and Vada didn’t compete. Eva had just returned and wasn’t prepared for competition and Vada has left, atleast that is how it seems. She doesn’t really talk to us, so I have no idea what is going on with her. Without the two of them we had a team of five and the Tigers had a team of five, now where I learned to count that meant we were equal in numbers. I know it was a public school but, come on, it wasn’t that bad of one. I’m glad I don’t go to Kayla’s school!! Cocky Coolmen also mentioned that Laura Kane was new and that didn’t really help them. Hello?!?! Just because she’s new doesn’t mean anything. She’s been here long enough for the coaches to put her in the meet, so she must have been a little ready anyway. And anyway, she’s one gymnast. It would have been a different story if everyone on her team had done well and she didn’t but the truth is that no Tiger did that great. Kayla may have gotten second but I would have beat her had I not fallen. Atler is the only one who can say she did great, she hit eight for eight and received the highest all-around both days. Stop making excuses for your awfulness, Tigers. You tanked and there is no other way of looking at it!

Ashley is leaving, or atleast she is thinking about it. It looks like a lot of girls may be leaving. Rankings were posted and there were only twenty-one listed, normally there is around twenty-six. I was fourth, the amazing Atler was first again. Kayla was second and Emily was third. I was expecting to drop, I missed a practice session. But I was still a little upset about moving down. Then I thought about it and realised that I was thinking like Zipporah, no offense to her but I don’t want to get caught in the trap of having to be number one. So I am happy for now with my ranking, and actually I am surprised I didn’t move down any further!

Speaking of Zipporah, we have been working on a top secret project together with Samantha Darling, Crystal and Soleil Star. Samantha is an old friend of ours (Zipporah and mine), she trained with us for a few years in Maine but then her family moved to Australia. We’ve kept in touch and she recently called to say she was back in the US! Soleil is the older cousin of Brooke and Crystal, she trains at Cascade Locks. Anyway, the project is ready to be unveiled. I’m so excited about it. It was an idea that came about after talking with Eva about the old Topopolilly Twist (the gym’s old newspaper thing; it isn’t in circulation anymore as far as Eva knew). Anyway, I recruited Zipporah’s help and then when talking to Samantha we asked if she wanted to help and she did. So we started working, planning to keep it a secret from everyone. Unfortunately, Zipporah somehow let it slip to Soleil and she asked if she could help. We really needed some help so we said yes, and later I asked Crystal if she would also like to help. And Sabina Cristinel helped too. She’s a gymnast Zipporah sort of befriended at the Rainbow Falls Classic. So what is the project? I’m not telling! Not yet anyway, I want to keep you in suspense!

Zipporah dyed her hair!!!! I’m beginning to wonder what kind of a gym Cascade Locks is. I only hear one side of the story but I don’t really get a good impression of the coaches from it. It sounds like absolutely no supervision, I know that’s not true but still. I’m really surprised with Zipporah. I know she was wanting to get it done but I honestly didn’t think she would actually do it. Oh, I forgot to mention that she dyed it neon blue and green. I guess it’s streaked, so that some of her hair is still it’s normal color. It sounds cool but I still can’t believe she did it. She has this deep desire to be the favorite, the winner, the coach’s darling. I kind of don’t think having neon hair will exactly help in that area. Don’t judges frown on that sort of thing? I guess she’s changing, becoming more of a rebel. I don’t like it. Why do people have to change? Maybe it’s just a stage. You know, she couldn’t get the coaches attention by doing gymnastics so she acts out to get it. Negative attention is still attention. I don’t like the way she’s going though. The coaches are really going to have a tough time with her. Before, they could just pat her on the head and she’d be theirs’. They could get her to do anything just by giving her some personal attention. But ignoring her is just making her try other ways of getting attention. I’ve seen other people go down similar paths. They are the sweetest person, always eager to please. Then when something hurts them (emotionally; in Zipporahs‘s case I think she isn‘t feeling wanted) they act out more. And it gets them negetive attention, so they act out more and more because they want that attention. Or sometimes they get ignored, but they still keep at it because they figure eventually they won’t be ignored anymore. At some point they’ll cross the line and someone will notice them.

She’s gotten some attention recently. My dad saw a photo of her in the newspaper and thought she looked awfully thin. So he called her parents and explained is concerns. They called around to psychologists near Cascade Locks and now Zipporah has been seeing a therapist. She’ll admit to being at risk for an eating disorder but she claims that she doesn’t have one. I hope that’s true.

Sammie’s back! She took an extended absence but she’s announced that she’ll be returning any day now. That’s good, I really missed her. It was awful, at one point Sammie and Eva were both gone and Ashley and Maddie were here but too busy to talk to me. I was ALL ALONE! Of course I had my wonderful rubber duckies, and I had you to talk to but I missed my friends! Posty missed getting mail. Poor Posty, Ashley was the person who wrote the most and she might be leaving. How am I going to tell Posty that she’s leaving? It’ll break her heart! She really liked Ashley, even if she did neglect to name her mailbox like a decent person. I’d better go, Truthie. I have some school to do and then I have ducky business to take care of and I have to figure out how to gently tell Posty about Ashley.
Love,
Dominique

February 18

Dear Truthie Diary,
I’m sooooooo excited!!!! Yesterday was day one of Squads Alive and we competed against Tiger and WE WON BY FOUR POINTS!!!!! Isn’t that HUGE?!!!! I still all bouncy from joy, we really showed Coach Dan!! Atler received the highest All-Around score and I placed third. Kayla the Konceited was second and naturally gloating it over me. She doesn’t like me because I don’t like her. She even gave me a nickname - Dominique the Demon! An evil spirit or cruel person is what it means, but it’s totally off. I’m not cruel or evil, and I’ve never been either. Whether or not she wants to admit it, she is conceited. And not very imaginative, I mean come on. Dominique the Demon? That doesn’t really flow that great. Kayla the Konceited just rolls nicely off the tongue, but Dominique the Demon gets stuck halfway. It has to be forced out unnaturally. Cocky Coolmen needs to get a life.

In other news, I think Lilly may have two traitors. And that really hurts. I love Lilly and to think that one of my squad mates has turned is awful but two is extremely painful. It’s really no secret that Atler prefers Coach Dan’s style of coaching more than Soyon’s and she sticks up for them whenever we start to talk about them. I just know that she’d switch if given the opportunity. I used to look up to her because she is so amazing. You can’t hang on to the top ranking in the gym for time after time and not be amazing! Everyday she gives everything and I really admire her. Her dream is to win big and I honestly believe she will do that but she doesn’t have to be a Tiger in order to achieve her dream. Coach Soyon works us just as hard; she’s just not cruel about it. Atler is one of our squad leaders, leading by example more than verbally telling us what to do. Lilly needs her, she helps us be tough mentally and she inspires us to work hard. She’s our tiger, Tiger Lilly! We need her, atleast I need her. She’s probably the gymnast I most want to be like but I don’t want to be a traitor and I would be totally crushed if she ever left Lilly.

The other possible traitor is Eva, our other team leader. Today she actually congratulated Kayla the Konceited!! How could she turn on me? Of all people to congratulate she has to pick a brainwashed Tiger. Morgan isn’t the only brainwashed Tiger, I’ve decided that Kayla is as well. She didn’t even say anything about my placing third, despite a scary fall from bars. And she congratulated Opilly, the team we are competing against today! She’s not being a very good leader, turning on her squad like that. I know we are really just one Topo team, but not during Squads Alive! She shouldn’t be congratulating them, not yet anyway. I am all in to good sportsmanship but not so much during a competition. I’ll congratulate them after the meet today, no matter the outcome.

I am really not concerned so much with winning today , I mostly just want to get through all my routines without falling. I have no real rivalry with Opilly or anyone on the squad, so win or lose I will be fine as long as I stay on every event and do my best. I think my adrenaline rush from beating Tiger could really help me do well today. But it could go the other way too. It all depends on my mindset and right now I am focused and ready. But you know how unpredictable my gymnastics can be. The other girls have strong and weak events but not me. My strength is perseverance and my weak point is consistency. But all the events are fairly equal for me.

I talked to my parents and told them how I wished I could do something away from Topo, to get a break from everything here and to meet other people. Well, they checked into different programs and found out about a youth volunteer group that meets a couple times a week. They do lots of really nice things around the community like visiting the elderly and sick, volunteering at animal shelters, raising money for charity, food drives, clothing drives, putting on plays for youth, hosting carnivals and haunted houses and all sorts of fun things to make the community a better place. That’s exactly the kind of thing I was wanting to do because I love brining a smile to people’s faces. So my mom called the lady in charge and got me signed up. They understand that I’m an elite gymnast and won’t have loads of time but they were really nice and worked everything out so that when I have the time I can participate in their events. I go to the weekly meetings whenever possible and if I miss then someone emails me the minutes. They even arranged a carpool for me to meetings and events. One of the boys in my carpool looks a lot like Rupert Grint. His name is Austin Smith and he’s really nice. He’s a little older than me; his birthdate is March 31st, 1989. Austin is kind of tall though but that’s okay because he gives me piggy back rides. Soccer is his favorite sport and he’s really good, atleast that’s what I gather from the awards he has won and the number of trophies his team has earned. Plus he is on a special soccer team that competes all over. A lot of the big name soccer players used to be on that team when they were younger, so I figure he must be good to be on it. It’s like being on the national team in gymnastics, I think. I really don’t know much about soccer but I like to watch anyway. We’re even though, he doesn’t really know much about gymnastics but he watches anyway. His little sister (Mikayla) is so cute, she’s five and started gymnastics about a year ago and she’s totally in awe of me because she knows I train at Topo. It’s so sweet. They live a little ways from here and I guess she drags her family to watch us compete at home everytime. And sometimes she comes and watches practice. I noticed her at the Squads Alive yesterday, decked out in purple and aqua with Go Lilly written on her cheek and a Beat The Tigers flag. She was there with Austin and their older sister , Ciara. Austin gave me a purple and aqua rubber ducky that was sitting on a lily pad! It’s really cute and I don’t have one like it. I named it Lilly. Austin said he just happened to see it and thought I’d like it but Ciara told me privately that he actually went shopping for a gift for me. She says he has a crush on me. I wish she hadn’t told me that. I am not mad or anything, I like that he has a crush on me. But now I feel a little weird. Like I want something to happen but I don’t at the same time. As much as I hate to admit it, I do have a crush on him. I don’t want to though because that means I’m growing up and I don’t really want to yet. But he’s so nice and everything, I can’t help it! Just because I have a crush and even if I have a boyfriend, that doesn’t mean I have to suddenly grow up and become all concerned with looks and give up my duckies does it? On the other hand, he likes me now and I am not concerned with looks and fashion and who’s in. So I guess it would only make sense that I shouldn’t change. Because I like him the way he is right now and if he really liked me then he wouldn’t be wanting me to suddenly give up my duckies and my fun songs and become “grown up”, right? And I shouldn’t really think about what Ciara said because I want to be his friend and thinking about it gets in the way of that. So I’m just going to forget about it and when he wants me to know he’ll tell me. Okay, well, I’d better go now.
Love,
Dominique

January 24th

Dear Truthie Diary,
I’m in New York! The competition starts tomorrow and I feel so ready to compete! I love that my whole squad is here, I feel like I’m back at Topopolilly in a way. We are like sisters, the close kind not the type that constantly fight. I think we should come up with nicknames for each other. Special names that only other Lilly Squaders can call us. For example, Eva could be Captain Lilly or Mother Lilly or something like that because she has kind of stepped in to the role of leader. Atler could be Acme Lilly because she’s been the top in the rankings more than any of us. Marina could be Chef Lilly because of her love of food. Vada could be Quiet Lilly or Lilly Librarian or something like that because she’s the least talkative. I’m not really sure what Jenna and Maddie could be. Sister Lilly would work but we can’t have two with the same nickname. Maddie could be Sister Lilly and Jenna could be Lilly Girl. I don’t know what I could be but part of the fun is having the team come up with a name. Or we could each take on the name of an actual type of lily flower. Or we could just not even incorporate Lilly into the name.

Well, I talked with someone the other day about keeping ducks as pets and what housing they needed. This is what he said: “If you only are having one or two pairs of ducks you can use a small doghouse but you will need an enclosed area to protect them from predators during the night. A good bed of straw remains in the dog house will do fine even in the winter. You should build a pen around the dog house of one inch chicken wire for them to get exercise and to be able to feed and water them. You want to water them outside the house as they will spill the food and water all over the inside of the house. You might even take space in a building and use just a corner for them as after they grow you can move them to a larger space. You can also move the area outward as they grow.”

I think I’m going to set up a place in the shed for them to stay while they are young. It’s nothing fancy but will have a place for them to eat and drink and of course bedding. My dad’s going to come and set up and little house area for them outside. He’s also setting up an area for them at our house, so that if for some reason I won’t be able to care for them then my ducks will be able to move there. My mom has agreed to care for them in the event that I am unable to. She’s excited about them, she’s a big lover of animals. But if I’m just going away for a few days, like this weekend, then they’ll probably just come up for the weekend and stay some where nearby. I checked around and there is a veterinary hospital not too far from Topopolilly and they are capable of treating ducks. When I get back I’m going to visit them and talk with one of the vets, I want to check the place out and see if I would trust them to care for my ducks. Ashley has offered to go with me, so that should be fun!

We were given partial rankings today. They don’t include what we did Wednesday or after that, so it’s kind of hard to tell for sure where I’m really at. I’m still ranked seventh though, I think I should move up when the full rankings are done. Atleast I hope I do. I almost forgot to workout on Tuesday and I think I ended up being too late, but I have worked out really hard every other day and I am putting in a lot of effort so if I don’t move up than I atleast shouldn’t lose my seventh place ranking. Kayla the Konceited (hehe) has moved ahead of me! She’s sixth and I bet she’s gloating like crazy over it. I’m soooo very glad she isn’t here, I really would not be able to stand her right now. Not that I can really stand her normally. I wonder if anyone else finds her rather revolting. Something about her reminds me of a snake. I don’t know what it is about her but I have found that the less I am around her the happier I am. I bet if she were in Harry Potter, she’d be in Slytherin. And her crush would be Draco Malfoy! Yeah, they’d be a great match.

She is definitely not worthy of being in the “Friends of the Ducks Society”. That’s the club I had a few years ago. It was very selective in allowing members and we got in trouble for it at school because “secret societies are against the rules”. We weren’t doing anything bad, we just wanted our own private club. And why should we have to allow everyone in? It was my club, not the school’s. Oh sure we may have been a little mean to some of the people who we believed weren’t worthy of membership but it was their own fault they could not get in. If they were nicer we would have allowed them. But they were bullies and they’d make fun of my love of ducks and they ALWAYS called me Dom!!! Of all the nicknames for Dominique, that’s my least favorite. Domi is slightly tolerable and Nique is a little better than that, but I usually loathe a person forever if they call me Dom. There are a few people who have been granted exceptions, mainly because at the time they didn’t know better.

It’s time for me to get going, Truthie. I need to rest up for the meet. Wish me luck!

*Good luck, Dominique and everyone!*

Thanks!

Love,
Dominique

January 23rd

Dear Truthie Diary, Today’s Thursday, the meet is on Saturday. I’m so excited about going to New York! I’ve been there before but I still get excited going there. Guess what, guess what, guess what!!! Sammie sent an email!!!