August 9
Dear diary,
Good mourning.:)Im sitting here at Kimball Park gymnastics happy as a clam luckey just to be here and to be performing gymnastics.Everyone at Topopolilly was worried that I would be upset that Im not currently training at topo but at this point I am just content training here and in a way I would prefer it to training at Topo.WEll at least for this week anyway.Coach Lois is going to give me a call when she thinks I can handle the workouts because she doesnt want me to reinjury myslef before nationals.I miss everyone at topo very much since I havent been there in more than a month.Since the minor accident and getting sick I had alot of time to reassess my goals in gymnastics and Im not sure I want to go to the olympics because we all the time I missed I dont think I will be able to do the job that Im capable of doing.I have to go call Coach Lois back.
Love,
Atler :)

July 7
Dear diary,
I feel very tired today.I think its just because of the long practice we had today filled with alot of tumbling in which I did quite well considering its been a long week.I have a really bad headache so Im just lying here trying to get rid of it.This mourning I didnt go to church because I was just so tired.I hope Im not getting sick as I have so many things to do like preparing for Nationals since it is less than a month away.I am sopposed to do something with Eva tonight and maybe Amanda but Im not feeling that well so I dont know.I feel so hot and Im sweating sitting down and I feel all achy all over and Im not sure what to do but Im just going to sit here and wait.My eyes are getting heavy so Im going to stop writing on account I dont want to poke my eye out,
Love,
Atler :)

July 6
Dear diary,
I had such a rough night last night since I couldnt sleep I spent hours grazing at the clock watching all hours of the night and early mournning.I taped the sound of Emilys snoring so that she wouldnt deny it this mourning when she wakes up.I am so tired now as it is now 6:00 in the mourning and we are going to have to wake up soon to train before our meet againest the Russian girls.I just want to pass out but Im hoping Eva's (i think)will make it my day to put sugar tablets in my drink at least im hoping.I really want to compete but since I have no enery Im going to have to muster up some adreline and hope for the best.I will get back to you with how my day went tomorrow as Im pondering that I will sleep nicely tonight.
Love,
Atler :)

July 5
Dear diary,
Today was the first time ever I didnt have the words to describle what I was feeling.I along with Jennie got induced into the hall of fame.Our names will forever be cemented along with topo and Im really honored to accomplish these.Today we spent a good portion of the day traing for the meet against the Russian girls since the meet is tomorrow. I hope I get selected for the Specialities meet on either bars or beam through I cant do my bhs full still so it would be better for bars.Im not sure through.
I got to go toalk to Coachj Lois about something.
Love,
Atler :)

July 4
Dear diary,
Happy 4th of July.Everyone is on alert here in America as they fear that there might be a terriots attack.There wasnt however but there was a shootout at an LA airport but it was terriot relationed so that was good as a whole.Workout started with a run.It was really nice to see all the girls again but there were new ones as well so I spent alot of practice getting to know them and to teach them some american culture.I made everyone this mini-bags with american stuff in it for both the topo girls and the russian gymnasts.We are going camping tonight but since Coach Nick and I have a private lesson tonight Im going to go later with him since he has to drive there with all the equipment.
Talk to you tomorrow
atler :)

July 3
Dear diary,
THe russian girls are coming later tonight and Im really glad that they werent here for practice today as I had the worst one ever.It was so hot today that before we even got started I was sweating the amount of water that elephants drink in a day.According to Camer thats a whole lot.Coach Lois yelled at us for allowing lester(Camers and kelly's Snake)to come into the cafetria and gym and nearly scaring Coach to death.We started dance lessons today and I was a little rusty but I wasnt falling all over the place which wasnt the case in regular practice.I messed up everything and Coach Lois made it quite clear to me that I didnt reach my potential and all that stuff that recently I have heard many times before.Tomorrow We are having a party here at topo but the KPers invited us to theirs but unfortunatly we cant do to the fact that the Russian gymnasts are here .Im going to go dip my head in the sink since Im so hot than im going to play some cards with britt and Krista.
Love,
Atler :)

July 2
Dear diary,
:)Today is the duel meet with EVGA meet and Im just happy that I get to compete and right along the tiger squad will help our squad tremondously.Our Squad consisents of EVa,Marina,Marie,and Tia.We won the team competition by 2.3 points earning a total of 187.350 and the guest team earning 185.050 and second place.I had a really good time with my team and Im glad everyone was able to pull together with little notice and help each other out which was alot better than winning.Eva won the meet with a 37.725 and I came in second with scores of 9.675,9.575,8.875 :(and 9.575 making a total of 37.700 which is nothing to get upset about with such short notice but nothing to start celebrating either.Marina had a great meet for her getting a tie for third.Marie was 5th and Tia had a rough meet with a 9th place showing.Topo team two got third.
Im going to go to bed the russian gymnasts are coming tomorrow and I cant wait.Tomorrow I have to get up early so that I can help Grandma Benni with some July 4th stuff.
Love ATler :)

July 1
Dear diary,
Today is my 14th birthday and there is really nothing special about this year in the aging progress except that I hope that I will become National Champion this year and if I believe and do what I am capable of I will do it.Im going to get out of bed even though it still early but Emily is out of bed and since its still kind of quiet out I can eat some breakfast in peace this mourning so that I can get my mind frame set to work hard in practice.Through its my birthdays its still yet another day at the gym.
Love,
ATler :)

June 30
Dear diary,
Have you ever been so caught up in a dream that you forgot the things that were happing around you.Im so caught up in training to achieve all the goals I have set that I forgot that my 14th birthday was tomorrow.I didnt remember until Emily was asking me this mourning to be at our room at 6:00 tomorrow and I was like what for and she was like a certain someones birthday is tomorrow.I replied that I didnt think anyone here at topos birthday was tomorrow and I started saying well what should we do for their party and Emily just stared at me and burst out laughing.I was perplezed at this act of rudeness untill I saw my calender that was hanging on the wall with my birthday circled.Wow I felt like such an idiot and couldnt stop laughing.I have been so busy lately and so have my parents that they havent called me in two days(which is odd since they normally call everyday and they usually send something for my birthday and I havent heard anything from them.I guess Im going to go try my parents again to see if their home,Grandma Benni said they called but they havent left a message on my room phone so Im not sure.Im going to go try to find out whats going on.
Love,
Atler :)

June 29
Dear diary,
:)I am really looking forward to seeing the Russian girls again and getting the chance to show them America.I hope we can go on some road trips to show them more of America because quite frankly the part where we live is probably the most boringest part of the whole United States of America and I dont want them to think the USA is boring.The fighting has calmed down alot but Im not really sure because I have stayed out of it as much as possible but alot of people come up to me and are like what do you think about it and I just say Im not sure.I did hear that Tia made a comment about what kelly said and everyone was mad for a while but I think its not a problem anymore.I had such a fun time last night.Emily was really happy about getting second place in the intersquad so her and I celebrated with a late night snack brought in by Grandma Benni.We watched movies till three o clock in the mourning and I know Lois wasnt to happy with that.Dont ask me how she finds out about these things she just does and she blamed my poor performance on the dance aspect of my floor routine on that.I was like you got to be kidding.I can miss up without the occasionally late night celebration.She just rolled her eyes and told me to get back to my routine.I wowed her when I did pretty good on my tumbling passes.I worked alot of individual skills today but all in all it went well routine wise.Back to our celebration Em and I just sat around talking about my olympic experience and about some of the past events of topo.I never really get to talk about the olympics except to the media people and so I hope I didnt bore her with all that imformation.She seemed to enjoy it though and kept asking me alot of questions though so I hope she didnt mind it.
Im going to go see if I can find ALlie or maybe Camers.
Love,
Atler :)

June 28
Dear diary,
Hello.Its been a long day already but I have alot to talk to you about so I might as well get you caught up with everything that I forgot to tell you about before.Along with the ranking change announcement there was also an announcement about having a dance teacher that will come starting next week.I think the dance teacher will be her like two days a week or something in which one day it will be with our squad or by ability and than the other it will be individually.I looked forward to that as well because when I was little I used to dance competitively through I wasnt nearly as good as lindsey is.I danced since right after I stopped doing gymnastics since I couldnt compete I took up dance and it was alot of fun but I havent done it except for making up routines since our old dance teacher Ciara left.I think by incorparting dance it will help our gymnastics alot as we seem to lack polish that we need to win the upcoming olympics.The results are in for the intersquad and Sarah won this week.SO far the rankings have had this people at the top Tia-2,jennie-2 and Sarah once.I got fourth out of 22.Emily was second,third was Eva and 5th was Tia with Jennie in sixth.pretty much the same people are near the top fighting it out so I guess thats why some of these people are fighting about the new rankings and how it should go.Im staying out of it though.
I had to put a wrap on my leg today before practice though which for the most part practice went well.Oh Shannon left a message at the message board here at topo asking us whats going on and I also got a call from Lara today as well.It was really great hearing from her but she wont be coming back.I got to go.
Love,
ATler :)

June 27
Dear diary,
Wow what a day.I know life is not perfect but here at Topopolilly apart from the rough workouts that can occur daily, outside the gym there is mostly good times.Being with these bunch of girls most of the time you cant help but being happy.Unfortunately today was an exception as things took a turn for the worse this mourning when Coach Lois announced the ranking system will once again change adhering more weight on the experience points.It caused a huge uproar and through your probably confused journal about the above situation Im going to neglect to speak about it at this point and time as Im too confused mainly and upset about all the fighting.I refared from fighting but put my view about it at the end so I hope no 0ne gets mad at me about what I put.Eva and Jennie were literaly fist fighting in the Rec Room before Cam intervened.I being the mother that I am wanted to make sure everything was alright but I have so many concerns and worries about beam right now that I escaped to the gym while most of this was occuring in the rec room.I left the gym early so I could go to acting classes but it didnt matter much since I have been in the gym all day not really getting much done on beam at least.Everything else was really good.Vault was amazing as I made my way from Yerchenko fulls to double twisting yerchenkos nailing everyone up into the 2 1/2 twisting yerchenko.I have to write later though Coach Lois is making an announcement and so I must go face the war zone out there.
Atler :)the smiley face is there only because I had a great time at acting class.

June 26
Dear diary,
:0 I am quite tired but its only 9:35 and I dont want to go to bed just yet.I once again had struggles on beam and i had to spend more time on that event during squad workout and as a private lesson.Otherwise workout went great today particulary floor was rocking but none of my tumbling passes were stuck.The result for the Pet Power festival are in and the Tiger Squad rocked scoring 187.625 and with that score a first place finsh.Opilly placed second with a score of 186.275 followed by the Lilly than the pop squad.Jennie won the all-around followed closely by EVa than Tia.Jennie won with a 38.65 and I came in sixth out of 23 with a 37.95.4th was Sarah and 5th was Vada.Maddie is mad at Morgie and its so werid to witness this occuring since they are such good friends best friends like kelly and Cameron are.Im going to bed talk to you more tomorrow.
Love,
Atler :)

June 25
Dear diary,
I really just want to mention how Im getting sick of my bhs full.Have I forgot to mention that in the last couple of entries I would be shocked.I did some therapy on my ankle and I think its not really going to be a problem anymore.I have been approached by Coach Lois to change my floor music which I got just before nationals last august which meant I didnt really have it for that long but she deciced that I need a change for Nationals that are coming up in August.I really want to win Nationals this year and since that has been a goal of mine for a really long time I hope that I can do it.I dont want to talk about that right now as its too far away to get all worked up about it.The funniest thing happened today well more like the funnest.Eva got some waterballons sent to her from her friend Joseph and ran immediatly to my room where Vada and I were playing a card game.Along with her was Tia so we plotted to go dorm to dorm and pelt everyone but than Grandma benni heard us plotting and got in on the plan.To ensure everyone would be surprised she had Coach lois in and tell everyone to meet outside for an important meeting.We went out and when everyone was outside we surprised them with water ballons.It was so funny to see Camerons face but it got ugly when kelly backed her up.I got a call from my dad and we talked for a long time since I havent seen them for so long.I miss them so much.
Love ,
Atler :)

June 24
Dee diary,
:)Today has been a rough day filled with many troubles in training.It started out good with conditioning going awesome with no or little I should say problems with my ankle.Than I went to beam and had an off day there missing my mount a majority of the time and Coach Lois wouldnt let Coach Nick let me move on so I spent like 45 minutes on those things.I got really mad at her that I almost walked out of the gym but I just wanted to work out and get this skill under control.Everyday its something else and Im sick of it.oh,I forgot to tell you our mascot is a tiger.Get it tiger squad tigers.Wow Im corny.The tiger squad is such a great bunch of girls as it was hard to stay mad about beam so by the time I went to vault I was more in control of my actions.Oh I forgot to tell you what happened to Cameron at the duel meet against dragon.She did one of her famous falls off beam and had Eva and I dying of laughter.AS I look around the gym I have noticed that Im not the only one that is having an off day.
I will talk more tomorrow its 10:00 and Im sure workout is going to be tough tomorrow.
Love,
ATler :)

June 22
Dear diary,
:)Good mourning.I cant wait to get moving this mourning as I talked to the owners of this festival yesterday and I told them that I had experience with horse riding so they might ask me to ride the horse in a show.I havent realized how much I have been neglecting Vada and Eva lately until Vada was sitting there in a dazed and than she almost forgot my name :).Mostly I have been hanging out with EMily and Tia since Emily is my roommate and TIa is new to the tiger squad as well.Tia and Emily have chosen horses so Im going to show them how to ride the little onies today.Jennie asked me to chill with her today so Im going to make sure that I also talk with Amanda as she is also suffering from an ankle injury.Maybe we can sit around talking while the dumptruck dumps a million pounds of ice on my throbbing ankle.Im really looking forward to performing at the festival and I hope to "sell my routines" as I dont think the technical aspect of my routines is going really well.Basically that means the bhs full and the dismounts mainly but there really not too drastic.I really want to do well but so does eveyone else.It 5:30 and I have no clue when COach Lois is waking us up!I know Im going to be ready to attack the day as I really want to do well.Have I said that enough in this entry?I love the horse im sponser its quite young and not quite as buildnt.Its name is Baskadova oh I dont know how to spell it.I have to go to practice so talk to you later.
Love,
Atler :)

June 21
Dear diary,
I HATE BEAm,I HATE Beam.Ok maybe thats a wee harsh more like dispise it.THe only thing I dislike right now is my darn bhs full.I just want to go back to a week and a half ago when I was completly nailing the skill everytime without a waver.I didnt nail one if practice today so I went over time and did more of those and more floor routines as well.Im deeply sadden about my performance there well just pi**ed off about it.Wow Why all the anger?I was in a really good mood today mostly because I got to see horses today.I am at the Pet Power festival and im sitting around waiting for my picture to be taken with my horse.I have to go to the fairgrounds in a few minutes since thats where they are located.I see the photographer approaching so i have to go.
love Atler :0

June 20
Dear diary,
My arms are so weak today,everyday really.After all these years I am just finding out how weak my arms are and its truly evident in the drills we did today.I did really well on all the stomuch drills as I know have my abs of steel back.I had alot of fun on floor today just playing around with my tumbling passes and hopefully as soon as this darn ankle heals I can go back to doing double layouts again.Or maybe play around with some new front tumbling passes.I kept on messing up on my dismouts off beam and bars and it was getting on my nerves so I finally went on to something else and stayed after practice and worked more by myslef and It turned out to be worse.After a while Coach Lois came in and started to help me but it seems like really all she did was yell at me.I was really mad at her because everything I did she would critize it and knowing me I just had to argue back.I dont need any negative vibes right now and she was really making me perform even worse.So the last one of the night I completly stuck right in her face.She didnt say a word.I am such a snot sometimes.Grandma Benni warned me about messing with Coach Lois but I have heard it all before.I have total respect of Lois but its just that we are so much alike in some ways and totally the oppostite in others.I did some many beam routines today and all were solid minus the dismount.I had this huge brace on my ankle through workout.I hung out with Eva avoiding studying for my mid-terms until my tutors came looking for me.
Love,ATler :)

June 19 #2
Dear diary,
Bars-I felt really tight on bars today as I really didnt feel the rhythum of the swing today like I usually do .The form was ok.I finally won the drill thing today as I really didnt want to run those extra laps and so I fought with all my might to stay on.
Beam-MY stupid bhs full.I was working more on my postion today and than because of that I would be all over the place.As soon as I got back to my old habits however I would stay on the beam but have poor form.
floor-What fun floor was today.All my tumbling passes were landed well and my dance elements were completed and on time with the music.That is often a problem of mind as My elements tended to be out of control and I always have to rush to catch up with the music.
Love,
Atler :)

June 19
Dear diary,
Good mourning.:)Im really looking forward to another workout with my squad members as the mood is postive and we are all ready to improve individually and as a team.I recieved a letter from Will in the mail and I really miss him so much.He's thinking about coming up and visiting me soon but unfortunatly he cant stay here as Coach Lois and Coach Nick would have an absolute fit.Its not like hes my boyfriend or anything hes just my bestest friend in the whole wide world.I cant wait until practice today because after working so hard in Russia I just have the desire to work as hard here.I had to wrap my ankle like a million times today already as I really hate babying it but COach Lois would go nuts if I didnt.
Well its time for lunch and I promised Grandma Benni to set out some more plates.
Love,
Atler :)

June 18
Dear diary,
:)I'm so sorry that I didnt write sooner about the meet in Russia the other day, I have had alot of things to do around here and my ankle has kept me occupied as well as studying for finals next week.My team was topopolilly 3-Morgie,Maddie,Marissa,Alie(Muchkin),Arika and I placed third out of six team beating two topo teams and one moscow team.I got fifth individually being the fourth placing topo gymnast.My scores went like this 9.575,9.7,9.3,9.4=37.975.I had a hop on my two and a half twisting yerchenko and a step on my tsuk.Bars was pretty good but I think stucking my dismount helped overlook some of the other minor mistakes that I made.I fell on my bhs full which thinking more about the postion makes it harder to do and so I lately I have been falling but I would rather fall now than have poor presentation.Floor was a diaster as all my tumbling passes were out of bounds except for the 2 1/2 twisting punch front full.I nailed that one but that still put my mood in a daper.
Tia won again and Im really glad that shes in my new squad because than I might actually win!I loved the lilly squad members so much but my new squad is pretty neat as well.I believe that you put any of the topo girls together as a squad and they could all have the potential to win.
I am tired and I have more studying to do in the mourning.I hope I can actually go to acting classes on thursday but I really doubt it.
Love Atler :)

June 16
Dear diary,
:)Good mourning..Happy Father's day to my Daddy back home!I miss him so much but there is no way to be there so I sent him his presents in the mail.WE leave Russia today and Im really upset about that as I loved learning about the culture and getting to know a little bit about the life here in Russia that is quite different from America.They work really hard as we do in America but the motivation is different as doing well brings promise for the future.I have been nursing a sore ankle so Im a little bit apprehensive about the meet scores but its going to be interesting to see how I did.I love flying in planes so Im glad we get to go on one but the bad thing is that I have to study for my finals.
Love Atler :)

June 15
Dear diary,
:)Good mourning.My ankle is really sore and I dont know how Im going to be able to handle Grenkovs conditioning workouts today.
~Im back from training.Grenkov made sure I didnt just seat around while they were conditioning and he gave me drills using my arms not my leg.WE went and eat at a resturant that was very Americanized and I was quite disappointed as I wanted to indulage in more Russia Food but for dinner we went to this place that had fantasic food and an incredible light show that occured right before our eyes.We also saw swan lake which was breathtaking as you could see the influence of the Russian Ballet company compared to the Academy in say New York.
I am tired and so Im heading off to bed.
Love Atler :)
Love Atler :)

June 12
Dear diary,
Offical training starts early.Its 5:45 and Pratice starts at Six!I gotta go so i will write after training.~Wow.I cant believe all the conditioning we did this mourning.I think it was as much as I have done all year.I felt really great in the begining and I kept up with the leading girls but than I started to fall farther behind everyone so I just pushed through to the best of my abilities.I was luckey to have Coach Lois first but than again not so good as we had to do alot of routines.I think i handled doing routines well despite the fact that my arms were shaky so much from conditioning.THe coach on beam was paid alot of attention to details like whenever or not you were on your toes,if your chin was up or if you completed each skills.She helped me alot on changing my postion in the bhs full and though I fell alot more on the skill than I usually do I felt better in my postion.On floor we did alot of tumbling and routies and after that I was beat.Vault was next with Coach Grenkov and oh boy was that tough.It was a little imtimidating working out with the russians but contrast !to popular belief they were really nice and willingly to help us but I kept looking at them admiring there abundence of talents.after workout we went to lunch where we hung out with the Russian girls and got to know them better.We talked and than all went to take naps.We met in the rec room alittle while later and they taught us some traditional russian games and they were dying to know more about america as most have never been.Dance was interesting as the dance teacher didnt speak hardly any english.They should us some traditional russian dances that were just breathtaking.After WE went to night practice and had sort of like a mini-meet with just routines being performed.I started out on bars and completly nailed my routine right down to the toe point.Coach Grenkov was really impressed as he smiled in approvel and talking with all the girls thats something that he rarely does.I then went to beam and fell off on my bhs full trying to work more on the postion.My tumbling was kind of shaky but no falls and good presentation.On vault I nailed the 2 1/2 twisting yerchenko and fought hard for the landini!g on tsuk but I took a step.I loved watching the big tricks and confidence that the russian gymnasts had.After I showered and got ready a bunch of us went to a Russian resturant in which I tried ordering in Russian.Rozalina helped me alot.she is alot like me as she tends to speak back to her coach if she doest think something is right and she is interested in going to an American unniversity.Another gymnast I have connected with is Sveltlana as she to as had to come back from injuries many time after being the star and she had to prove to everyone that she is good.Im tired so Im heading off to bed.
love,
atler :)

June 11
Dear diary,
:)The training here is hard and I feel really good when ever the announcement for break is sounded.I spent a minor fraction of my break studying for some last minute exams before summer tutoring starts.It never ends.............I have to go stufy more.
Love Atler :)

June 10th
Dear diary,
:)The Summerfest results are up and I came in 9th out of 2o all-arounders.Lilly Squad finshed 5th out of 15 teams.I placed 2rd behind Tia out Topo people making my postion mantain for two weeks in a row with Jennie coming next for topo than Sarah,Eva and Cameron.I will get back to you with more results as of right now.Oh I forgot to tell you journal that I lost the last couple of journals I have written since coming here to topo and Im really upset as they had all the struggles and moments of joy captured in that and Its not like I could ever replace what I want through at that time.Im going to keep looing though.
Love Atler :0

June 9th
Dear diary,
Good mourning journal.Im on the plane heading to Russia.We had to get up really early this mourning as its a long flight to Russia and we wanted to get there as soon as possible.We have only been on the plane for about an hour and a half and already Im bored out of my mind.Maddie is snoring and Morgie and I are trying to poke her but Coach Lois is giving us looks to stop so we must.Im sitting here writing to you journal just as the sun is coming up so I probably have to go and start reviewing more for my finals as I doubt I will have any time once we start training.
Love,
Atler :)

June 8
Dear diary,
Its early in the mourning and the sun hasnt had a chance to shine through my window as its still sleeping but Emily was up and adam packing so I got out of bed and slowly made my way to the pile of stuff that Im going to take to Russia.I have been adding to that area since we found out we were going and its as tall as the sky and I have no clue how Im going to fit everything in the bag.I always overpack where ever I go.THe hawaii party is tonight and I cant wait but the thing is I have to get through the Summerfest first and that wont be an easy task.I have to go work out some last minute Summerfest issues as well as the party tonight so I will talk to you later.
Luv,
Atler :)

June 7
Dear diary,
:)Good mourning journal.Today marks the start of the summerfest and my goal for this meet is to make an event final(beam is my best shot)but depending upon how many people are going to be competing Im aiming for Top 20???Im really looking forward to this meet as after this mournings workout I have reason for being optimistic as I had a fairly good competiton and I hope I can put it together in the meet.Maybe go four for four would be an unobtainable goal but I just want to push through and be presentable for this meet.Everyone around here is taking finals for school or is already on summer vacation so they are in the gym now at my normal time.I have to go eat a good lunch so that I will have energy for training day so I probably wont be able to talk to you because after practice Im going to Vadas room and we are going to play around with ideas for our hair for the meet tomorrow.I wonder what leos were going to wear as not everyone has the offical team leotards.Maybe each squad can wear a certain leotard of topo and the other girls can borrow from a member in the other squads.I think I want my hair curled in a ponytail with a simple ribbon.Too bad its nice out as my hair is now blond again.Im not too keen on blond hair as many people think of sterotype blonds and look down upon me and besides way too many people are dying there hair blond but I would prefer black or blown.I would ultimaly prefer pink but Coach Lois didnt approve but maybe Cameron has the courage to go against Coach Lois because at this point its not wise of me to get on her bad side as Im longing for a new bars set.
Love Atler :)

June 6th
Dear diary,
:)Practice was rough this mourning as we had to do a bunch of routines as we have alot of meets coming up all in a row.I love competing( though I usually mess up :))but I havent had alot of time to be consisent and get the numbers of routines down to walk into a meet consisent.Today is the finals for the CGA meet and I wonder if I will be competing.I really hope that I could be calm coming into meets but at this point I just feel like a nervous wreck though Cameroon and kelly Say I handle it like a pro.Im really looking forward to going to Russia and today I looked on the internet for stuff to do there.I'm not sure if we'll have time to site see but Im sure we will be able to see a little(hopefully not just the sites on the way to workout)I hate that when we travel for meets in a far away place all we see is the gym!I know we arent going to Russia just to site-seeing as we are going to be working out very intensly as the level of Russia is higher than the programs in the USA! I was so tired today in practice today so I know Im going to have to get alot of sleep on the plane and since its a long plane ride I hopefully will feel refreshed by the time we get to russia.Tomorrow is the Summerfeast meet and I hope I can muster up the strengh to do well. BArs was awful today as was floor as I couldnt keep my energy up and I landed more times on my butt in Arabian double front punch front pass that Coach Lois though that I was fooling around.By the time I got to floor today I was just thinking to myslef just do the reps you need and be done but Coach Nick had other ideas and so did my physical tumbling and I ended up being in there more than double the time and I found myslef being one of the last one in there along with Jennie,Sarah and Cameron.Vault was ok since I fixed my run by taking off at a different distance but bars was horrible with my Jaegar having awful form with my legs seprated about a full foot apart.i kept on overroating my dismount off beam as well but they got consisent again at the end.After practice I went to the cafetria and since it was desserted I took my meal up to the rest room and watched tv with my a bunch of people that we're in there.Im planning on an early night so I better sign off now as training starts for summerfest tomorrow and I have alot to fix judging on todays practice.I just need a clear mind and some ice and I will be fine in the mourning.
Love,
ATler :)

June 5th
Dear diary,
:)I was so pumped up today in practice because Coach Lois and Coack Nick made an announcement that on sunday,June 9th,2002 WE are all heading to Russia!I have always wanted to go to Russia and Im really excited about that.I adopted a horse today so hopefully my horse at home doesnt get jealous. I was super tight today on bars as I really want Coach Lois to remember her promist to change my bar routine.I know that Coach Lois isnt my coach but since she is the head coach she still has alot of influence on my gymnastics.I got to work comancis again but I still had to work thachevs.but man was the height on them sky high.I love doing handstands on bars now because they usually dead on as doing the drills onbars has really the rest of my rounties because by not having to work so hard on nailing the handstands i have more time to work and focus on the remander of the routine.My floor routine didnt have alot of spunk but I had an adreline rush after my second routine where I got my triple twist pass not underroated but overroated.I was alittle out of controle on my BHs so I had way too much power in my pass.My dance was sloppy as well but I did ok all in all.On Vault my double twisting tsuks were too short as my legs got funky in the air and I closed up leaving me to landed lock legged.I have to go talk to SArah.
Loves,
ATler :)

June 4th
Dear diary,
:) :) :)Boy am I happy.The results for the intersquad are up and I got second behind Jennie in the all-around!THe most exciting new though is that Lilly Squad placed first ruining the mini-streak that the opilly squad had going.I believe that we have the talent to continue the fight for the title but we all have to be working day in and day out.I made another team though its not a IFGA meet its not a duel either.I made the team as an all-arounder for the CGA invitional.My teammates who are going also are Tia(UB,BB)Maddie(v,fx)Morgie(BB,FX)Moranda(V,UB)so it looks like im the only all-arounder and I hope that I will do well for my team and not mess up.
Love Atler :)

June 3
Dear Journal,
:)THe duel meet results are in and junior squad won with Eva getting first,Emily getting second and ME getting third.I was all over beam and overroated my dismount.I was really upset about this as this is the only routine that I havent had problems on all week.I also fell out of bounds on the whip to triple twist pass.My form is getting really poor in that pass as Im always just trying to get the triple around not caring about the form as long as I dont fall.I got first place on bars and the only word for that was SHocked.Vault went really well neither overroating or underroaing either or them.Our lilly squad had a kip cast handstadn contest and I got second behind morgie as the very last one I ran out of gas and my last handstand was loose.I think all in all I redeemed myslef in practice today for all the mistakes I did in the meet.I hope to make the CGA Invitional which begins on thurday.Im going to talk to Emily about the party we are hosting on SAt.
Love Atler :)

June 2
Dear diary,
:)Good mourning journal.I feel very refreshed after taking a shower as practice this mourning was really hard due to the hot weather and feeling drained out due to the weeks hectic schduele.We didnt do more than one floor routine which was good as I wouldnt have been able to continue.My Bars was really easy to connect the elements but my dismount was causing me some difficulty as I was releasing out of the higgens roll too late and couldnt manage to bring it to my feet.On beam I kept on rushing my bhs full so that was a little shaky as well as my dismount was off to the sides at time.My vaults were good but my run was off and not generating as much speed so I worked on running drills.I went to church this mourning and just got home and I recieved a phone call from Sasha so I spent a half an hour talking to her and we made plans to get together soon.Im listening to music but I know at any minute Grandma Benni is going to come in here and tell me to clean my room so Im going to get started on that.
Atler :)

June 1
Dear diary,
I got a call from my cousin Vanessa today.I really miss my family members as we're all so close but due to the circumstances of this sport we dont get to see each other as much as we would like to.Well everyone is my family gets together except for me.:(MY cousin was calling from my grandma's house where most of my family was there including my parents and my brother.I got to talk to all my relatives that we're there and after I got off the phone I felt kind of home sick so I went on a search for Grandma Benni but she was no where to be found.I wonder where she was.I went back to my room and played a card game with Emily as Im still getting to know her.The duel meet is later today against Auroa and I hope our team can win.The results arent up for the interquad meet.Wish me luck.
Atler:)

May 30
Dear diary,
:)I am really looking forward to seeing my result in the intersquad because I am almost postive that I have improved score wise but maybe I could have fallen place wise.I have done really well this week on my routines but skills wise I have had some problems and that makes doing good on routines rather strange as I usually think too much about the element.I talked to Moranda today and just poured out everything that I have been going through and she gave me some great advice.I am feeling better already but I still have my moments that kind of leaves me saddened.I wrote some letters home because my mom got me this stationary kit and I thought I would let her know it was put to good use. Tomorrow is the duel meet against Auroa and though my routines have gotten better Im not sure how Im going to do in both that meet and the intersquad.I just hope I dont let my teammates down.
aTler :)
Pray for me!

May 29
Dear diary,
:)I am really happy after todays practice showed some minor improvements.I had a good practice but my stupid popa back tuck combo is driving me crazy with furstration but I am not going to obesse over it.Well not too much anyway. I have to go train now.
Write back soon
Luv Atler L:)

May 28
Dear diary,
I stayed after practice lying on mats icing my ankle scoping out the competition if you will and my attention turned to bars where the Opilly squad(the current team to beat)was working dilegently on all different kinds of elements.Tia was working on some drills for a mount and I looked and saw the gurova mount that I was working on for a couple of months prior to the Olympics but since my wrist injury I havent had the oppurtunity too.I cringed and was anger instantly but than I thought how could she have known that I have been working this skill.I know at this point and time that my bars routine isnt orginal but the bar routine is not the bar routine im going to be using to try and make worlds this year,its just temperory.I worked out with Coach Nick for like an hour on the conditioning program and its actually going quite well since I lost those couple of pounds last week.I got a call from WIll and from my parents so i sent some of my breaks talking to them.O I miss them so much. Grandma Benni is calling me so I have to go.....
Love,
Atler :)

May 27
Dear diary,
WOw.This can not be happening again.I am not getting injuried.My ankle was in so much pain again this mourning but I cant give in and not practice because I know if I do that I probably wont come back to gymnastics ever again and I couldnt possibly to do that,giving up is just not me.I forgot to tell you about the first two intersquad meets which is now our new ranking system.May 18 was our first intersquad and our squad finshed third behind opilly and the pop squad.Individually I placed 15th out of 25 gymnasts with a score of 36.2.I was so anger at myslef for not doing the best job that I could possibly do.The one on the 25th was better as I rose to 6th place/24.Tia placed first in both intersquads a rude awakening that I am no longer a force to be reckon with but rather than force chaser.Lilly got second improving our scores more than two points.I hope that I can continue moving up the ranks due to the fact that experience points are now starting to come into play as I have the 5th highest of those.I got on the duel meet against aurora with Vada,EVa and Emily and through I really wanted to be on the European and IFGA challenge meet at this point and time just making the team is ok. I have to go talk to Cameron about something.
Love ATler :)

May 26
Dear diary,
Wow.Its eight o clock and its almost time to head to the cafetria for breakfast and than head over to the gym.Its a sunday and still we train.:)I dont know how Im going to get through practice this mourning.I have a throbbing pain in my ankle and last night I could barely stand on it.Im not going to tell Coach Lois though she already as her eye on me so maybe she will notice.I hope not as I dont want her to yell at me for reaching into things too quickly.Im too tired to get up.COme on and attack the day.I will talk to you later if I have time, There is alot to do to get ready for the start of the new week.
Love,
Atler :)

May 25
Dear diary,
Good mourning journal.The interquad will take place this afternoon and it will determine the teams for a number of meets.THe teams are going to be chosen for the IFGA U.S challenge,the Swiss cup(IVGCC),and duel meets.I really want to make the team for the US challenge but I dont know if I can compete against the IFGA federation when Im not at best because they expect so much out of me.Any meet will allow me to see where I stand against topo members and other gyms.My mom sent me a beautiful leotard that I might wear today for the intersquad unless we have to wear topo appeal which I doubt due to not everyone has the uniform.Its purple and silver so if the lilly squad picks those colors my mom said she would get the whole squad one.Wish me luck journal.
Love Atler :)

May 23
Dear diary,
:)I am looking forward to tomorrow's meet (ranking thing) as there is no way that I didnt improve.I know journal your thinking that its highly unlikly that I can rise upbove all the problems I have endured to take the top position in such a short time.Im just saying I got a little more push in workout these past two days and Im feeling optimistic about what lies ahead.Im thinking in the latter aspect of the future.Im going to resume the acting aspect of my life by participate in the Acting classes.My mother said if I was really serious about pursueing this that we can look for a model/Acting agent.I told her at this point it was more her thing than mine and that I probably wont be starring in one her movies anytime soon.Its always been an option since my mom was an actress but I think gymnastics is the road that was paved out for me and thats the road Im going to take.I have been going to my sports pyshc.ALINA through this all and she has been really helpful .Since I have been going to her for about 3 years now she know me inside and out and that makes everything ten times easier.Im going to morgie and maddies room for a sleepover.I wonder if Em wants to come.
Luv,
Atler :)

May 22
Dear diary,
I am back to my happy go luckey self now that I lost two pounds off my 6-8 pound gain frame.I dont want to lead you under the impression journal that I didnt like the extra pounds on my body (Trust me I didnt/don't like looking like a skelton all the time)but the baggage and guilt and the abuncence of emotion that it has brought as not been favorable.I hung out with my new roommate today Emmie and had a long talk with Vada,Eva and morgie today about the changes and they were all really concerned about me.Its wonderful to have the kind of support that gets given in an ample amount of proportions around here.I love being back at topopolilly and there is no where I would rather be but I dont know how Im going to adapt to this new system.We will see.I got to go to ALie's room to show her some pics when I was at home and tell Cameron to turn off her awful music. :)
Love,
Atler :)

May 21
Dear diary,
I got the sweetest letter from Coach Lois today saying how she knows that I am capable of working my way back up to the top of the leaderboard and that She knows that Im going through a rough time right now.I really appriciated that as she and I often bump heads in the past and still at present due to the fact that Im stubborn and I wont always accept things as willingly as all the rest will.I enjoyed a nice conversation with Emily and Tia today.It really nice to get to know new people but I dont know if who they are meeting is really me because I have been out of sorts recently and as I write this all the words I speak have no feeling.
Atler :)
PS>where am I?

May 20
Dear diary.
I got back really late last night from the three nights and two day charity event for the Children with musular distrophy in which I am a spokesperson for.I did horrible at the meet on friday 15th.Tell you more about it later
love Atler :)

May 15th
Dear diary,
Gosh Im so out of shape its unbelievable.I really dont know if I can obtain the same shape that I was in before.As Cam would say I was diesel before but now Im as loose as a 6-pack of jello. Today's practice wasn't up to par and blaming it on the time off and the weight gain isnt me.I dont know what else to do as I dont want to condition my brains out and than get injuried and there is no way that I cant eat since that will led to even more injuries and you know I have had my fair share.I felt really heavy in the air today on my arabian double front punch front and my twists on beam and floor was as flowing as usual.On Vault I was only able to do up to a tsuk full.MY switch leap was causing me problems as was my bar rountie.I had to muscle through the whole thing.Vada was accepted today and Im grateful for that as I need her help and compainainship more than ever. I g2g
luv,
atler :)

March 21
Dear diary,
Have you ever felt so much emotions in one day that you dont know quite if your day was good or bad? MY day started out quite that way when I saw my name under the first spot in the rankings as of March 19,2002 and as I scrolled down the daily announcements I saw my name on the roster for the international team championships as well.The team is going to be -Alyssa,Marie,VAda,Sarah,Ling and I.I took a look at the roster of the another teams and it looks like we have a good chance to win.I was really exuberant about that. I then looked over the team for springboard and I cringed at the site of krista Carr name under a different gym.I was in a lousy mood after that as I get so mad when my friends in which I see day in and day out who I laugh with,cry with leave its like a part of me is leaving.THats leds me to the part of my day that left me despressed and sadden.Lara is quitting gymnastics and Im deeply sadden and Im going to miss the sounds of her violin filling the air and ! all the memories that we have shared.Than there was practice today oh my gosh.GET ME OUT OF THIS SLUMP.I had so much on my mind today making it even harder on myslef when all my emotions came together and almost got me in trouble.My being out of shape also was brought up today by Coach Lois and she gave me an ulitmative that suggust that if I dont lose weight soon I might not be able to compete. Who knows whats going to happen in tonights practice.If anything else goes wrong Im going to burst!
Love a very sad
atler :)

March 20
DEAR DIARY,
Happy first day of spring!:) I once again didnt have the best practice in the world but I am now getting used to the daily stuggles and taking it all more in stride.I havent even thought about giving up through all these and a reporter who I had an interview with over the phone asked me why and Cameron was standing there and said "your character wont allow it" and I concered with her on that one.I gotta go as my bed is calling for me to take a short nap
Atler

March 19
Dear diary,
Bars went well today with Coach Lois.I guess having a strict coach around helps you do something and look at it a different way in order for someone to like it.Coach Lois did not rule out the possiblity of adding another bar routine though and she said maybe it would be smart for me to have two routines.The only problem with that she said is you are working the routines only half the time.I am busy thinking of a more exciting routine in my head..My wrist is 90% better and the only thing now that is holding me back to regaining my old form is my totally out of shape body.Since the Olympics and my injury I have gained a total of about 10 pounds making me a disgusting 70 pounds.We got weighted today which was quite unusual and It didnt help having to face coach Lois on every event today.Usually I keep to myslef and the coaches know Im getting the job done but with me being out of shape they know I need to get their help on this so I will do it in a healthy manner and regain my ! old form and ranking in the standings.Tomorrow practice is going to be all conditioning in the mourning and than cleaning up of the routines tonight.I know Im going to be really sore on thursday.It was Arika birthday a few days ago butI just give her her presents today. I gotta go drink some more water.
Atler :)

March 18
Dear diary,
Coach Lois and Coach Nick are back!I got the rare oppurtunity to talk to both of them in a meeting we had together only a couple hours after they got back.I thought they would be really busy today as it is there first day back but I think they have noticed my displeasure in my bar routine and found it nessacary to have this meeting immediatly.We havent made the desicion to change it yet but Im hoping we do.Practice was really rough today with tons as routines were ordered on every event and let me tell you if you dont already know.Im out of shape horribly.I hope my ranking is higher the next time it is updated as I want to let the coaches know I wasnt slacking off when they were gone.Another workout and so begins a new week.
atler :)

March 17
Dear diary,
Happy ST patricks day!I went to church this mourning and after Grandma Benni took us all out to breakfast.I went home and totally wasnt in the mood to do my homework so I went into the gym and did a little conditioning with weights and I rode the bike for a little bit.I talked to alot of my friends on the internet today and I really miss them now.After lunch I was really bored so Grandma Benni asked me if I wanted to make these special St Pattys cookies she had planned as a surprise for us.I make the in the shape of a shamrock.I then went into ALies room to chill with her for a little bit.We mostly just played with each others hair.Around three I did my homework and than went to kiki's room to make up some dances.She is such a good dancer!DInner was really good tonight.WE had turkey and pototoes and salad and the cookies for desserts.I noticed not everyone took one though!Im going to do some chrunches.
love with all my heart,
ATler :)

March 16
Dear diary,
I woke up really early as I was so excited that today was the day I got to go to acting classes.I rode on the stationary bike and went running as usual.I then had some oranges and toast with jam for breakfast.Than I had to go to my room to get my hair tied back for dance and get my dance shoes so my feet didnt hurt.Than by that time I was super sweaty so I took a shower and waited for Grandma Benni to take me to acting class.I had so much fun.the first day we mostly got to know each other and it seems like I have the least amount of acting experience.I had such a good time that we all deciced to go get some lunch together.Moranda came and picked me out so that I could watch the Duke VS.Notre Dame game and I rubbed it in Rissa's face all day that my team Duke won.After I went to practice and hung out for the rest of the day.
ATler :)

March 15
Dear diary,
TOday was such a nice change of pace as alot of the girls didnt have school due to superintendiance day and we got a rare oppurtinity to chill with each other.I was really antsy this mourning so I went for an early mourning run through the woods taking the trail that has more inclines to run up.The sun wasnt even up yet but I got the chance to take some pictures as it did go up.After I went to breakfast and no one was in there except for Grandma Benni (who is always up early)so I got myslef a bowl of cheerios with banana and we talked for a little bit.She then had to get some girls up so I went into the gym and did my conditioning routine for 45 minutes.THan people started coming in so I took a little break and did some more strenghting with them than went to bars to play catch up with tons of routines for 45 minutes.I have been thinking of changing my routine as I absolulty no energy or feeling and its such a boring routine.I want something huge.THan I played ping pong with! Kelly,Cameron,Morgie and Ali.What a bunch of competitors exspecically kel.I won once,morgie won once and kel won twice.It was so funny when Cameron did her impressions.Than I had therapy for a little bite.Still trying to clear my wrist of pain :(.I went for an early lunch and than went to dance practice.Ciara helped me alot with the presentation of the routine with the new dance elements and than went to practice for 3 1/2 more hours. On Vault I am having the worst time mustering up the speed for the front handspring double front which Im still throwing into the pit.I then took a shower and put on my pjs @ 7,Eat dinner and played Monopoly with Jennie and ALi.I than went to my room and wrote a letter to both EVa and Sasha to see when EVa is coming back and to also see how Sasha was doing.
Love you
ATler :)

March 11
Dear diary,
Today was the six month anniversary of the Sept 11th terrorist attack and as soon as I woke up I had a moment of silence for all those that were lost in the attack. I had some toast with jelly and a tons of water for breakfast as I need it with all the endurance training that Coach Lois left me.Coach Nick and I designed an endurance training routine that will make it easier for me to get in shape and it seems that Coach Lois put it in speed mode.Gotta love COach Lois!:)I got up early today so I was able to spend more time conditioning and strenghting with Moranda as we are normally the only ones in the gym in the mourning.After I went to school at @ 9 and did schoolwork untill 11:15 and then went to therapy to do some excerises for my wrist still and than eat a quick lunch of chicken and salad with yes more water :).Then I had to go do even more tutoring and than @ 1:45 I had a private lesson on vault that last 45 minutes and than did had some time left over to do yes my hom! ework.Practice started at 3:45 and lasted to 6 and by than I was racing to the cafetria for food.WE had dance at 7 which went longer than I thought as it ended at 8:15.I watched 7th heaven and read a chapter of Catcher in the rye and went to bed around 10.It starts again tomorrow. oh before dance I hung out with Cameron as she was a little down because her uncle died in the attacks.
love Atler :)

March 7
dear diary,
I didnt work any bars today as I had to take a test and I was late to practice.:)I was very very happy about that.Coach Nick and I developed a new conditioning program that will hopefully build up my strengh for the new season.but Coach Lois will probably have to approve it though.Man oh man Im constantly getting reminders on how my wrist injury prevented me from starting the new season with a conditioned body.Tomorrow is the squad meet as far as I know and saturday afternoon I start my acting classes.I cant wait as its been a long time since I have had the oppurtunity to do something outside of gymnastics.Im second as of march 4th and thats the last time the rankings have been updated.My wrist hasnt been that bad lately and that has help in my ever slow process of transiting into the new code.I have a bit of an earache and i hope that doesnt affect practice tomorrow as I really dont want to have any more problems.Everyone is in their own little zone now that competition sea! son is peaking and I sort of miss hanging around everybody.
Atler :)

March 5
Dear Journal,
I had a good night practice working just vault and floor and enjoyed it throughly which was a change from mourning practice which was horrible.Im sick of doing darn thachevs all the time because I find them to be so boring just due to the fact that everyone else is doing them.I have such an attitude lately.I dont think there is alot of meets coming up so that is yet another reason not for me to be motivated.I deciceded to set some goals for the upcoming months.1)be number one for the entire month.most important one so anothers can come true 2)rekindle my love for gymnastics 3)make the world team 4)contend for a world title in the all-around and on beam Some of my goals outside of gymnastics is 1)start acting class and get a small part in the upcoming play 2)get a 95 of better in french 4)do at least one nice thing a week for someone 5)get started on my website again
happy peppy
ATler :)

March 4 #2
Dear diary,
:)Practice was really rough today exspecially on beam as I spent most of the time off the beam rather than on it.Im in a slump right now I can feel it and I attribute it to these reasons 1)not being on top of the rankings 2)continuous training even after the Olympics without a break 3) is probably the biggest reason no motivation.I need some help
atler :)

March 4
Hey,
:)I brought a new leotard today as I seem to be rather behind on my fashion statements and the new shipment came in the store today and I just couldnt resist.As of yesterday I am second in the rankings behind SARAH and a place ahead of Vada.I made a promise to myslef right here and now to stop being so lazy and to get myslef together but you know what its so hard to get motivated that I dont even know how to start.I got an application in the mail inviting me to be in an acting class and Coach Nick thinks I should take up the offer.THere is a squad meet on friday though the problem is the lilly squad only consisents of ALie and I.I gotta go to practice now and than come back and look over AP euro
Love ATler :)

March 3
Dear diary,
:).Today was a very productive sunday though it was really boring after practice.So thats the reason I am writing to you!Heres what I did today:I woke up at six o clock on the one day we can sleep in later than the sun!THan since I couldnt get back to sleep I got on some sweats and went out side for a twenty minute jog as it was fairly nice out.Than I came inside and had some breaksfast taking my time as I had a while yet till I had to leave for church.Afterwards I came back from church and worked out in the gym.I mostly worked on form on bars as I had no desire to do any routines.I hate my new bar routine,ultimatly I despise it to the upmost.It isnt my style really and I have no passion for it.That sounds corney it was the same with my old bar routine too but at least I got good scores.I didnt work any routines today except for floor which I thought was neccessary as the conditioning of the routine needed work.After practice I was sweaty so I deciced to take a shower.I than! met with morgie and we went to lunch.Than I did my homework and now being 3:00 Im bored outta my mind.Im going to find someone to talk to
atler :)

February 27
Dear diary,
:)hey.What can I say? I got third and it comes as no suprise to me that I am not satified with my performance. I know I should be thanking god for that but Im just really disappointed.But no matter what I do it never lives up to what I want it to be.I had a rough beginning in which I will explain in depth later but for now I just wanted to fill you in on my wrist.It didnt hurt at all today and I didnt have to go to physical therapy today as I didnt feel any pain.Can you believe that? It seems to be that half the time Im either injured or god know what!
atler :)

February 24
Dear diary,
I woke up this morning and strengthed a bit and then got ready to go to breakfast with my parents and when I came into the lobby area I found my parents talking with Grandma Benni and Coach Nick and than I looked over and saw ............MY BROTHER. He came with his new girlfriend Amanda.She was really nice.We went out to breakfast and that gave me a chance to get to know her better.My brother was right she is alot like me.I came back from breakfast and went right to my private lesson where Coach Lois and I went over a few things before the meet tonight.I am now in my room getting ready to take a shower and do some of my pre-meet rituals.
wish me luck
atler :)

February 23 #3
Dear diary,
Tomorrow is the CLassics and that calls for both a :)face and a not so :) face-:(.As Im sitting in my bed fairly early at night I find myslef remembering the haunting memories of last years classic and as the pressure resurfaces in my head of what could have been and what should happen occur now my mind is filled with a million thoughts.My role last year was completly different as I was "the one chasing the top squad members".I was the threatening one who was pushing the top members to push beyond their limit.This year couldnt have have been more different than last.As now Im EXPECTED to win the title along pre-meet favorite sarah .I started on bars last year and this year I start on vault.I think that starting on vault is good because at this time as I have done these vaults longer than the other three routines and I feel alot more confident in those vaults than I do in any other event so starting out good will give me more confidence as the meet progresses and let me tell ! you I need confidence.Plus I end up on floor which is usually a great event for me.I sit here thinking about last years meet and I quickly remember how pressure got to me than and after the first rotation finding myslef in first place and than chocking and knowing how I wont let it happen again scares me as what happens if it does happen again.WHAT IF I FAIL.I FEAR FAILURE NOW MORE THAN EVER.HELP ME SOMEONE.PLEASE.
LOVE ATLER :)
I have to go to bed right now but tom

February 23 #2
Dear diary,
I forgot to tell you about some of my concerns about the upcoming Classic meet on sunday.I have expressed these concerns more than once but its starting to terrifiy me as I am really concerned that Im going to disaappoint people and what worries me even more is the fact that more people expect me to go into all meets and win and at this point and time I dont think I am capable of winning.Whats even more frightening to me is if I dont win or make top three in the rankings that people will write me off.God forbid the day where I find myslef outside the top spots.I cant even image.
Love Atler :)

February 23
Dear diary,
I have the most wonderful news to tell you.No they didnt give me the gold medal for being "the coolest person ever".Thanks ARIKA!No the funnist thing happened yesterday at @ 4:00 I was at workout and my mom called and asked me if I wanted to come down to salt lake city to see the Womans final.Of course I wanted to but I still had practice .YOur probably wondering how my mom came up with tickets to the hottest event in the winter games.To make a long story shot my parents and Sashas parents were friends since college and we have been fairly good friends ever since though its been hard with both sasha and I's training schudules to be as tight as we used too.Anyway they had once extra ticket and she invited my mom and than some of the people in the media heard I needed a ticket and than they manged to come up with a ticket and gave it to me.That was so sweet.I just had one minor problem now that was standing in my way.Workout.Coach Lois said that I could after I was finished wi! th a couple each routines on beam and floor.Than Grandma Benni drove me to the airport where a jet was waiting for me and at the airport they had a nice limo waiting for me and that drove me right to the area where the skating was being held.On my way to the skating venue I went past the athetle part of the olympic village and all the memories of my olympic games came flowing back.I went through the security and found my mom in our seats.ALmost as soon as I sat down a group of little girls came up to me with tutu's on and asked me if I was Jessica Atler.I signed some autographs for them and it turned out their seats were right behind us and the whole time those three little girls were like I cant believe it is really her.I thought that was so hysterical.AS you know Sasha fell from third to fourth in the finals and though she managed to compose herslef on camera and in front of the cameras I was with her and her family affter at the hotal and she was devasted.I had to leave f! airly early but Im going to keep more in touch with her as I ! know how hard it is to lose a medal when its within your grasp.
I gotta I will write later
Love atler :)

February 21
Dear diary,
I had an ok practice today but Im getting down to the wire on this first meet on sunday with the new code.Im going to be nervous of course but Im not going to be heartbroken if I fall as I know I havent had time to polish my routines or even begin to come close to polishing them.I wouldnt be shocked to see a 7.5.That will be a victory in its self to get that high.I hope Kelly and I are in each others group as we both need eAch other to get each other though this meet.
atler :)

February 20 #2
Dear diary,
I had a very productive practice tonight working just on beam and floor as yesterday I spent more time on bars and working the landings on vault.I have been working out solo in practice as Brittany quit months ago,Vada has her back injury,Cat is MIA,Cristana is in and out as is Alie and so its mostly just me a good protion of the time so coach nick goes and helps the other girls with their new rounties after he is done with me.I also find myslef not needing all those constant reminders that I used too and Coach Lois and now COach Nick let me do more of my own thing as they trust me that I know what I need to do.
atler :)

February 20
Dear diary,
Im really glad that the Classic meet was changed to sunday as 1)I have more time to practice my new rounties and 2)My parents are going to be able to fly in.My brother has some football training camp to go too.As football season is over there are mandatory camps that the players have to go to in order to stay in shape in the off season.I only got to go to one football game this season and Im missing out on alot of my brothers college things that he invites me too.He went to the olympics to watch me and I realize that he sacraficed alot for me to miss that much school in his freshman year. He told me he didnt mind because I got him alot of backstage passes for any sporting event he wanted to go too and got to meet some of his idols.Do you want to know the sweetest thing that he said.He said that I was really his biggest hero as He was just in awe of how much I had to overcome to get there and marvels over everything that I have done in my short life.Im aiming for top three fo! r the Classic meet on Sunday.I know I know thats a little steep considering my little practice time with my wrist and all but I have practiced through the pain only missing one practice this year due to the coaches request.I think top three is just a challenge that I need at this point and by aiming high I will be more determined to achieve $success.I have to go workout again.Its so good to be able to workout fulltime again and I just hope that Im not reaching the load too soon.
ATler :)

February 19
DEar diary,
HEY.:).Im 100% code ready and now all I have to do is stay on top learning my routines and working out the glitches and I will be ready for the upcoming meets.I shouldnt say all I have to do is working out the glitches as at this point it is a very BIg task.I had a good practice today learning my rounties and I can only hope that down the road I will still enjoying performing these routines.I know that if I dont it will be even harder to train day in and day out if I dont like my rounties.Im keeping the same music at this point as its sort of new anyway and nothing has striked my fancy.I havent had a chance to tell you that Krista left again with a sprained wrist and Jennie is gone with a death in her family and Vada with her back and marie because of her ankle.I wonder when EVa is going to come back???As of the 17th I was 1st but as of the 18th Im second behind Sarah but guess whats arika and morgie are 3rd and fourth and that is great.Im going to get Morgie and go to the r! ec room and watch the Ice skating prelims for the ladies tonight.My friend SAsha is competing and I cant wait.
Love Atler :)

February 18
DEar diary,
Happy presidents day!I spent a good portion of my day in the gym working on my new rounties and I have gotten two rounties now out of a ten point o start value.BArs and beam are done and floor is almost complete as I have my tumbling passes set but its taking longer as I dont have my music composed all the way.
atler :)

February 17
Dear diary,
As of Feb,16,2002 I have regained my postion at the top of the rankings and as of today I can resume full training and I hope that I can continue to maintain the top position.Classics are saturday and I cant wait to see how I handle my new routines.Coach Lois and I worked on my bar routine this mourning and so far I have a 9.8 start value rountie but in this afternoon practice we are going to play around with it to get it out of a ten.I have a little downtime now so I wrote my parents back and Im just sitting here listening to some music while Im organizing my photo ablum.Right now its NElly's I am #1 on my CD player.I will write back later as Arika coming in to hang out.
Love ATler

February 11
Dear diary,
Hey.:)I am third in the rankings :(but next week I can resume full training :) so watch out everyone!!!I think Vada is coming back next week so the dynamic duel will resume!
I cant wait to get started working my new rounties
atler :)

February 10
Dear diary,
Hey :)Sorry I didnt write that much this weekend I had alot of things to do.Besides the RCA challenge on saturday I was sick and spent most of my time in bed watching the Olympics and making up missed homework.I bgot my last report card and somehow it turned out ok.I got a 98.85 and with missing some assignments due to being away at meets that not too bad.Brian called to see what I was up too and to say that hes joining track at his school.Maybe he'll get as good as Griffen!:)
atler :)

February 8
Dear diary,
Hey.I just wanted to tell you that I got Sixth all-around and though that is respectable knowing that I had fourth place going into the finals and that I had a chance at a medal the feeling are mixed.Sixth place did achieve my goal of making the top ten after competing in prelims but I kind of thought I could do more than I did.I hung out with Marie a little today and that was a treat as usual and talked a little more with Lang and Im going to take her on the "offical topo tour"as I have been accustom to doing to all the new comers,tomorrow!Also getting sixth puts more pressure on me now going into the upcoming season as I have to justify to my fans and critics that I deserve to be up there and that I earned that spot.I have to do that by stepping on the mat each time and giving it my all.I got alot of mail from fans that I have to get cracking on but right now Im going to watch some Television and unwind!
Luv Atler :)

February 7
Dear Diary,
I had a good practice today despite the circumstances that my stomuch was a little woozy and my wrist was throbbing.The RCA challenge starts tomorrow and Im treating this meet as a testament to see if Im strong enought to push through pain.Im not nervous as this is just another meet that I have to overcome obstacles but I just dont want to disappoint or embrass Topopolilly.I have to fill you in on school.YOu know how I didnt do tutoring like 3 weeks up untill the Olympics and only did a little work while I was there.Than after the olympics we had to train for the new code and with my wrist I havent been able to do much but I have tons of work now to make up and I am so loaded down with everything that I never have anytime to hang out with my friends or call my parents or write letters to my friends~~
Love Atler :)
wish me luch for the RCA challenge.EYE on THE tiger!!!!!

February 6
Dear Journal,
HEy :)What happened to me the another day was something out of the ordinary.I got sick tuesday warming up for the winter classic meet but I still competed anyway.I got back home this mourning and than trained for the RCA challenge.Ranking update:As of Feb.4 I was number two and as of Feb.5th I am......Third.I am such a loser.I can make all these excuses that Im not training as much due to my wrist,and that Im not feeling good but the fact is I dont think I dont think I have what it takes to fullfil the # 1 spot and if Im going to Im going to have to be 100% healthy to contend for that spot.Exciting news:Alyssa is # 6!i went to practice in pain yesterday and hopefully I got though the meet ok and hopefully I will be fine for the RCA challenge.I havent had a chance to hang out with Morgan or Maddie or even Alie or anyone really lately .
Atler :)
My head hurts so I think Im going to go to bed.

February 4
Dear journal,
Hey :)I am really nervous about the warm-ups this mourning for the winter classic as it will determine what rounties I will do the new or the old ones.If I do the old ones to my capablity it would be like someone doing a new one poorly and I think that will actually be safer for my wrist and also I dont want to mess up my new olds and get a score like 4.0 as that would be humilating.
atler :)

February 3
Dear diary,
As of FEb.2nd I am #1.We are leaving today for the Winter Classic meet at noob after some extra training.I am really nervous now going into meets these year as I know Im not as prepared as I have been in the past and I also have that each weight(pressure)in doing well and leading the topopolilly team as I rarely held that position often in the past.I think I might be able to start full training after the 16th.Im looking forward to seeing how we do there as the reigning world and olympic champions we as a team no matter whose on it have the pressure to do well.AS soon as I get back from the winter classic on wednesday I leave the next day for the RCA challenge.I dont know how my wrist will handle that.Hopefully well.
Atler :)

February 1
Dear diary,
What a way to start out a month.Let me explain we are were on our way to practice expecting a normal day and the coaches called us over and than Coach Nick turned on a video and it was the president of the IFGA saying that we are now the current title holders of " OLYMPIC CHAMPIONS"!WE all started jumping up and down hugging each other but we held it in when we realized we still had practice.There is going to be a ceremony to present our medals to us soon and its hopefully not the only medal topopolilly takes home!!!!!
Atler :) :) :) :)

January 31
Dear diary,
Im just writing to catch you up on some things as I have been very busy lately with trying to come up with rounties for the new code.I have decicded to come up with some new current rounties that I will just use for alittle bit) filled with mostly skills I can already do) because I have had no time to fool around with new skills.Im # 1 in the rankings and LAra is back training now!I might be starting voice lessons soon as I think just focusing on gymnastics all the time is driving me crazy and the lessons would be schudule around my gymnastics so I wont be abanding gymnastics.I also want to take acting lessons but Im going to try one thing at a time.I forgot to tell you about the rest of the intersquad on sunday and this being thursday you can tell how busy I have been.After the first rotation I was 10th out of 11th and my pain in the neck wrist was beginning to ache after popping in painkillers I headed to my next event was bars and I was just hoping for the best which isnt! usual for me to be hoping on my best event that I could just get off.THere is no excuse for what happen when I hit my feet on my pak salto,I just made a mistake I earned a 9.25 that even if I didnt hit my feet my score wouldnt have been good anyway.I moved up though for a tie for 7th.I forgot about the pain when U heard the crowd chanting my name and as I approached the beam I rolled my ankle around while waiting for the judges and bit my lips and took a deep breath.It wasnt a great rountie (9.575)but I fought though and put up the highest score of the night up into this point.I looked up at the end of rotation third and found myslef behind ALyssa and Marissa.I had nothing to lose on floor except maybe the feeling of my wrist :) but forged ahead and with the crowd clapping I manged a 9.75 and after I saw that score I smiled and sat down and breath a sigh of relief.After waiting for the final rounties to end I talked and joked with Kelly and Cameron and I was so busy talki! ng I had no idea I won.After the meet we had an autograph ses! sion in the gym for our fans and though my wrist was killing I signed over one hundred signatures.I had alot of fun and I cant wait for the next meet!
Atler :)

January 29
Dear diary,
As the nelly song says what does it take to be # 1?My answer to that when I saw the rankings was pain pain pain.I won the intersquad but the pain that follewed today was definatly not worth it.I made the Winter classic meet but I have to go to practice.I will write more tomorrow time permitting. atler :)

January 28
Dear diary,
After sizing up the first two rounties in the meet yesterday it seems so foolish to me one that one-I was even in the meet and secondly that I competed the fhs double front which I have only been doing drills for due to my sore wrist i have been unable to practice learning them throughly so I dont know why I perform the fhs double front as its a vault I didnt need because I already have two ten o vaults that I have been performing longer.I was really embrassed that I fell on my rear end as so many people were there and I was expected to contend for a spot on the podium but I dont think the media knows how bad my wrist is hurting as only you do I complained to journal about that.I got a 9.025 and for never doing it before on the vault or really all together pulling it around was really an amazing fete but if I hadnt it could have been a dangerous thing.I will write about it later as the physical therapy area is calling my name. atler :)

January 27
Dear diary,
I have to tell you about last night as it was the best time outside of gymnastics I have had in a long time.Well,during practice Alie and kelly were allowed to leave for a little bit and help me do my hair.I decided on an outfit last night as I have alot of time on my hands now that I only practice once.I didnt want to go overboard with my outfit as I wanted to blend in with the crowd and not stand out.I picked out these plain pair of dark jeans from express and a sparkly shirt with a jean jacket to go over it. I put a little glitter on my face but I deciced against make-up.Brian's mom was early picking me up which was good as I didnt want to wait any longer than I have too as I can finally leave the doors of Topopolilly.Its not a date or anything so I had no need to be nervous .Brian and I are just friends.We arrived at the game early and I met some more of his friends and caught up with the ones who I already knew.They asked me who I got to meet at the olympics and how I d! id.It was so funny when at half-time the mascot walked around in the stands and started dancing with people.His friends are amazing and they always make me feel right at home with them.The only time I felt werid and different was when some little girls came up to me and asked me for my autograph.I signed them of course but I just wanted to die when eric started treating me like a princess.:)I loved that!!! Now to some new Imfo at the gym.Today we have an intersquad and the announcement was that you should try to have new rounties by Feb.9 for Topo classic which my goal is at that meet is to make top three if I can get the rounties ready in time.Im really concerned about my wrist and if its going to let me get the rounties started.Well I gotta go get ready for the intersquad wish me luck. Atler :)

January 26
Dear confident,
Training went really well today and Im progressing alittle more each day in regards to what Im able to do in the gym.It does hurt to see everyone learning the skills that I could be getting if my wrist was well but Im not losing hope that I will be learning them real soon.I cant wait until tonight when I go to the basketball game with Brian and his friends.I cant wait until the afternoon practice is over Im nored and I need company. atler :)

January 25
Dear diary,
Oh my what a day.I made the RCA challenge team along with Sarah and Rissa and as of Jan.24 2002 I am number 1 in the rankings.I was really shocked to see that too.The meet isnt until Feb 8/9th and so I will have more time to prepare my rounties but Im not sure what code this meetis going to be judged under.Thats the question of the year right there.I worked on alot of tumbling today in my private lesson with Lois and it went really well and though after my wrist was a sore it was worth it when I ALMOST got my round-off backhandspring double layout which I have been working on for almost 5 months though not straight due to the millions of rounties we had to do prior to the olympics.I really want to workout full time again as than seeing my name under the 1st spot in the ranking wont seem so exciting.Oh my gosh I almost forgot to tell you that tomorrow Im going with Brian to his schools basketball game.Lois said it was ok!!!! Love Ya Atler :)

January 24#2
Dear diary,
Im both upset and angry and its not because of some dumb gymnastics result this time its because Im sick and tired of my friends getting hurt and I cant controll it! atler :)

January 24
Dear diary,
I need you to confide in today as I dont have anyone left.Vada just announced that she was leaving the gym for a while because her back is hurting too much.I woke up this mourning sensing that something bad was going to happen and when I heard a knock on my door kelly came in and said are you ok?I was like why what happened?She was like Vada is leaving.Her back is hurt and she needs a break.I was a little angry at Vada as she didnt tell me before hand and she tells me almost everything but more than anything I was upset as i dont want her to go.I know shes coming back but still.I dont know when shes leaving but hopefully it wont be today. atler :)

January 23
dear diary,
As of jan 22 I am # 2 and Im getting used to being in that position at least until my wrist is better because when it is Beware.:)I realize that Im not able to be on top because Im not allowed to work out as much.We arrived home today after competing in the duel meet.I was really excited when I saw the perfect ten come up and everyone else was so happy also.The next meet is the RCA challenge which I hope to compete in but its ok if Coach lois is going to give other people a chance to compete as I have competed in a couple meets already this year. Love atler January 22
Dear diary,
As of Jan.20 I am # 2 once again.I also recieved the results of the duel meet against springboard and though we didnt win as a team there is alot of really exciting things that happened.Besides getting second in the all-around I recieved my first perfect score on the last event Vault.I only faulted on beam.Morgan and sarah also recieved a 10 on beam and bars respectivly.On bars I got a 9.824,beam was an 8.696 and floor was an 9.262.I will talk to you more about it later. atler :)

January 21#2
Dear diary,
HEY.The duel meet is tomorrow and I cant wait to see if not training more than once affects me in the long run.Im going to try to pump up my team with a pep talk. atler :)

January 21
Dear diary,
:)Hey.I was a little disappointed last night for the meeting to write to you last night so Im going to tell you just the base of what happened at the meeting last night.Well, my wrist is not ready to handle two- three times a day training but the good news is that I can start learning my new rounties and try to get them code ready.But I had to agree to spend more time doing excerices with the trainers.Though I have been going in there once a day the trainers think my wrist will recover quicker if I start doing more so thats where im going to be when everyone else is training! Atler :)

January 20
Dear diary,
I am in a very nervous frame of mind today.No not for the duel meet against springboard but rather what is going to occur after the meet today.The meeting with Coach Lois,Docter and trainer.I think alot of what happens in the meet today will determine whenever or not the docters/trainers and Coach lois think Im ready or not.Im kind of hoping the impression I give is a good one as I really want to train!!!We will see. Love Atler :)

January 19
Dear diary,
As of Jan.18,2002 I am # 2 in the gym.Its interesting that I start out alot of my entries that way.:)Along with the candian cup which is the second meet in the Illuision invitional today I found out I would be competing in yet another meet this week.This meet is a duel meet against springboard.Marie,Sarah,Alyssa,Morgie(vault,beam) and cameron(UB,FX)are also competing on the team!Im really excited for this meet as I havent been to a meet with Cameron,and alie in a long time!The team for the Canadian cup is Marie,Sarah,morgie and Amanda.I am truly going to miss Shannon and marissa as I know they both are from Canada.Tomorrow I find out if I can resume normal twice/three times a day training again and Im worried that I wont be able to resume full training soon,and I wont be able to keep up with everyone,or I wont get code ready in time for the next big competition!!!!I really hope the docters and Coach let me resume full training as I think I can handle it now.My biggest worry ! though is that when I get to resume full training again that I will be so far behind and out of shape that coach Lois wont pay attention to me and because of my rankings lately think Im slack and that will ruin everything I worked so hard to be able to have.I tried applying more pressure to my wrist today so I could see for myslef if I could take on more training.Worries came though my head like What if I injury it more the first time I go for full training,or what happens if I babied it too much.Im going to go hang out with kelly and I think we're going to give each other makeovers for fun! Love Atler :)

January 17
Dear diary,
Today I am ranked # 2 and I am extremly pleased about that.I am having a great day so far and though I only practiced once coach was impressed in my rebound after I have been done these past couple of days!
Atler :)

January 16
Dear diary,
Oh what good new I have for you today!The second round of prelims are up and I am currently in drumroll please......5th place out of @ 110 people but not all did all-around though more than half did and Im really really excited but not overly because there are still alot of people to compete yet.I got a 9.225 on vault nothing to huge but nothing to awful.Bars was disappointing to say the least and I dont know if I qualified yet to any event finals as my scores were consisent but none were really good.I got a 9.45 on bars,a 9.675 on floor and a consisent 9.55 on beam!Total was 37.9 with the leader 38.175 totally catchable!I will get back to you with more tomorrow~
Love Atler :)

January 15 #2
DEAR DIARY,
I wish everything was the way it used to be.Eva was here,the injured list was shorter than the rankings and no one got hurt or lost someone or had to overcome obstacles that prevented them from leaving here because every person that walks through that door(of topopolilly)means so much to the whole atmosphere!
Love Atler :)

January 15
Dear diary,
Im third in the rankings and for once that doesnt seem to matter to me.I didnt qualify to the american cup and once again Im shocked to see that I wasnt disappointed.I used my old rounties with the new code and I didnt have the start values needed to win or even qualify if I wasnt perfect so......here are my scores:8.975,8.95,8.6,and floor was the highest out of everybody in day two 9.65.My total was 36.175.On a happier note and in some ways its bad I was selected along with Sarah,Marie,Morgan and Amanda to compete in the International invititional competition.Its Jennies birthday today and I have a really good gift to give her after tonights practice!
Atler :)
Lara is leaving due to her wrist and Im going to go say good-bye :(

January 14
Dear diary,
I miss my mom and dad so much expecially as I have alot more time on my hands as the Olympics are over but not completly!I had little oppurtunity to see my parents this past year but I am luckier than most elite gymnasts as some dont see their parents more than twice a year.The reason Im feeling homesick is now that the olympics are over I have nothing to do except make up the homework I missed while I was at the olympics and try to come up with new rounties for the new code.Your probably thinking thats tons to do but with the wrist in poor condition I can do very little of either of those.:) for not being able to do homework but :(I want to learn new skills!Im cutting back on training to once a day and find myslef eating alot more as I use food consuming as something to fill my boring day with.Oh well.....Im going to bed as there is nothing else to say
atler :)

January 13
Dear diary,
I went to church this mourning like usual as it gave me something to do as I am waiting for the results for two meets,the american cup qualifer and the Olympic games!I deciced to work a little on the new code of point for beam and I was sort of discouraged at the fact that they werent pushing more elements that follow but was happy about the artistic factor as thats an important factor in gymnastics!Im finding bars to be difficult as Im seeing that coming up with new skills isnt really incourage and I am trying to stay away from the double layout dismount as its so boring for me and as you know I have to do something that commands my attention!
Love Atler :)

January 11
Dear diary,
Im so depressed, today I found myslef alone in the pizza shop eating a huge slice of pizza and crying not caring what people thought of me.Than after I went home to topo I looked at myslef in the mirror and than got really sick.I dont know whats happening and why this happened but Im still a little quesy but overall fine.Im having an olympic hang over which entails wondering where im going to go from here because I accomplished my goal of making the team but I dont know if this is true but its just what the sports psychiatrist said and thats true.Im a lost soul.As of Jan 9 I was # 1 again and as of Jan 10 Im # 2!Im bored and I dont know what to do as the results are up and I think thats whats making me go crazy!How can I have a hangover when really the journal though the olympics has only taken its first steps!
ATler :)

January 9
Dear diary,
HEy :/.I am writing to you in a mixed mood as thats why my normal smiley face is slated.I qualifed along with Sarah and marie to represent Topopolilly in the American cup Qualifer!I really want to compete in the american cup as its one of my many goals for this year!I am in an ok mood because Im # 2 in the rankings as of Jan 8th and I need to kick it in gear or Im going to fall to the bottom.Its not hard to do when there are only 12 girls active in the gym!These people are on the injured list:kelly,Caitlyn,lindsey,krista,morgie and arika.The gym is probably deserted with the Olympic team being gone as well.The only people at topo are Marie,Cameron,Ali,maddie,lara and kiki.I miss topo so much and we are going to go home in a couple of days.I will write about the olympics as soon as I get back journal!its going to be so much fun and Im going to have to develop a million pictures!
Atler :)

January 7
Dear diary,
I dont know whats going to happen after the results of the olympics come inch Lois says I should get surgery for my wrist but that will require alot of time to heal and I dont think I can afford to take time off.Expecially when I have to make my rounties code ready for some of the competitions I want to be in this year.On second thought I am woren out from this st year plus doing competitions,rounties and day in and day out intense training without little or no rest and quite frankly I need a break!I dont know though it all depends.
I got to go
atler

January 4
Dear diary,
As Of Jan.3.2002 I am number one and I proud of myslef for maintaining that position thus far this year coming in first each of the following days this year,Jan.3,Jan 2nd and Jan first!I have no idea what I have to do once I get back home from this olympics but I do know that Im going to be woren out!But right away we have to think up new rounties and maybe go on some post olympic tours!The prelimary round is up for the team and......WE got second behind International GTC who had an awesome beam round.OUR team went in for a little each vault practice to try to work more on our landings as that was our lowest scoring event as a team!
I gotta go watch some of the other rounds!
Love Atler

January 3
Dear diary,
No news on the prelim and team final rounds at the olympics.Its hard to know exactly what im thinking without knowing the results from the prelimanary round as I dont know where Topo or myslef stands.I need someone to talk to as Im sort of lost with myslef not knowing where to turn.My teammates have been really supportive as we both know where each other are coming from!Its hard what I should be thinking at this point,If I did good of course I would be happy,If I did bad of course there would be pain.Im going to see what the schdule is going to be for tomorrow.
Love Atler

December 31
Dear diary,
That is the last time Im going to be able to write that!I am here in the olympic village about ready to go to my first podium training.Im worried that Im going to make a mistake and than the judges will notice and write me off as a non-Contender!I know I can contend for a medal.I just have to believe!
Love Atler

December 30
Dear diary,
As I am writing this I glance over at krista sleeping snoring louder than Big Foot's foot steping on a statue of fire crackers.I also noticed the clock that changed for 3:15 in the mourning to 3:16.I am really nervous,scarced and hopeful about the olympics.My goals are this-Like always go four for four,Qualify to the all-around and hopefully from there go top ten.Than more than anything I want to just qualify for bars.I definatly want a team medal also and we can do it,I know we can!I will write to you from the plane though I dont know what time we're leaving!
Love Atler :)

December 29 #2
Dear diary,
Today is the Olympic team VS the prep team and this will set the pace for our quest for olympic gold.This meet is crucial to our success as the Prelimanary round is less than a week away.First it was important to the team because we need as much confidence as we can get because if we can beat our own teammates ,than we can contend with the best in the world because Topopolilly's gymnasts are so talented and they are at world level.The line-up was going to be the same as it will be at the games.Sarah,Amanda,Jennie and I worked all four events.Vada does both beam and floor and Rissa Will do Vault and Bars.I was a little nervous as I didnt know who we were performing against.My nerves didnt back down when I saw who we were competing against.The team was Kiki,lara,krista, and Marie doing all around.while Morgie did vault and floor and Maddie did Bars and beam.The first Event didnt start out that easy(the first event being beam)Jennie our lead off lady fall on a very difficult gi! aner full twisting bhs.It doesnt matter how hard the skill a fall is still 5 tenths.The pressure mounted when the score of ray came up 9.125.Amanda was up next and put together a nice rountie worth a 9.525.Sarah went up and avoided a fall but had wobbles for a 9.4 and I did a little less with the same wobbles and earned a 9.3.Vada had a clutch performance only to stumble on her dismount.The prep team had some problems on vault that left them three tenths behind.The olympic team got into a huddle and did some chants to pump our selves up and we got ready to mount the floor.We didnt disappoint.Sarah got us started with a perfectly unique stuck rudi and a spunky rountie that earned a 9.6.Always a entertaining her the next two Jennie Ray-9.3-had a few mistakes here and Vada who got the crowd going with her solid first two passes but came to a stop as her foot passed the line outta bounds and as her score of 9.575 came up the excitement still was cooking as the crowd started to c! lap louder and louder at the beautiful rountie they had just ! seen.I will get back to you with more of the result later. The dinner bell is ringing
Love Atler :)

December 29
Dear Journal,
I cant even tell you what tomorrow will bring.Im really nervous about leaving tomorrow for the Olympics as I have no idea what exactly is going to happen and what is in store for me can be both good or it could be bad.I am more scared though as I dont want to disappoint everyone who has helped me make this trip to the Olympics possible.My parents,family,friends,Coach Terrain,Coach Lois,teammates,fans and supporters and expecially Topopolilly as defending World Champions we are expected to contend.I have to get ready for practice as the Olympic team is going to be in a practice meet today against another squad and I have to make sure I have everything packed!
Atler :)

December 28 #2
Dear diary,
Hey.Quick note~Coach Lois took all the girls out to dinner to celebrate the Olympic teams departure tomorrow night/sunday mourning!I have to pack tomorrow and I have no idea what to pack!
Love Atler

December 28
Dear diary,
This is really a bad way to start off the entry expecially when overall I had a pretty good day.I am third in the rankings with 74 I think points.This is really pathic and doesnt give me any points for my confidence level and I could use more as Im going to the Olympics and it pays not to be nervous.
I gotta go workout now I just wanted to tell you that piece of news!
Love Atler

December 27
Dear Journal,
:)Good mourning~Boy am I sore!I am writing to you while laying on my bed with 20 bags of ice and I took about a million painkillers though Im not complaining I cant wait to go to the big show.Wait thats not true I can wait.I wish I had more time so this darn wrist can heal or so I can be perfect on my rounties everytime.Time has ran out and Im getting more nervous each passing day.Im really happy that the intense amount of pressure hasnt gotten to me and my rounties are going great.The pressure is actually making me work harder and Im glad for that.I think I can contend for a medal if everything goes right.I really didnt want to say that but everything is going so right now.I hope that didnt sound cocky.I said that because I wanted to tell myslef of the faith that I have in me because in the past I would never have thought I would be where I am today!Today we worked on sticking dismounts because the medals usually are occupied with the teams that had the least amount of mist! akes and every step counts!
love atler :)
~Talent with doubt is not worth using~

December 26
Dear diary,
Christmas has come and gone and that means these are the final days until the olympics,Four days until I offically become one with the whole Olympic experience and only time will tell something I have worked a good portion of my life for.This ONE competition can alter the rest of my life.No pressure though :)LOL.
Today the olympic squad started on bars and we did three rounties each.Than after I worked on some comanci releases as during the rounties prior all of them I caught a little too close.Than Coach Lois had me go up and do a rountie pretending it was the bar finals at the olympic games (as thats where she invisions I will be).I took a deep breath and started the rountie.It was awesome I tell you journal, that after it made me sad that it wasnt the day of bar finals.Every handstand was dead on and I didnt miss anything not even my comanci and I capped it off with a stuck landing.My face showed no emotion until I saw Coach Lois smiling and than it was over.She than told us to meet her on beam.I went and got my waterbottle and got right on beam going though our beam warm-up.Than Lois came over and told us all to do a cold rountie all at the same time without warming anything up.We all started at the same time and in the middle Coach Lois turned on heavy metal music but that didn! t affect me at all as I was so focused on my rountie I didnt even flich.I did have a little waver on the first part of the series as my 1st bhs didnt have any flight but my layout and gianer bhs was solid!I took a little step on my dismount.I didnt see anyone elses rountie but Coach Lois had us come over and she said something like"Do you guys really want the gold"?I guess the mentality of the group and the tension of proving to everyone that you deserve to be on this team as taken a toll on everyone but we all have forgotten we have to pull together to represent topopolilly!
I got to go to bed.practice starts early tomorrow!
Love Atler

December 24
Dear diary,
Happy christmas eve!WE woke up really early to get back in time to get to topopolilly for our mourning workout.On the way home I slept almost the whole way but I woke up 30 minutes before we arrived so I could be refreshed in time for practice.I w as really happy with how both workouts went~I hit every pak salto which isnt out of the norm but I had problems in the squad meet with that move.In between workouts I wrapped the rest of my gifts and called my brother and parents.For the christmas party I had on my head lights that light up as a headband AND there I hooked a mini-angel!around my neck I put an ample amount of bells annd necklace.Than I put about 4 pins on my long sleve green turtle neck.on the both I had green pants that sparkled.on my feet i had socks that light up and played christmas music when you moved.My slippers had Santa snoring.I put ornaments all over and branchs so I resembled a tree!I am in #2 as of December 23 as Irl I am at my aunts house and couldnt ! figure out how to get on!:)I have to get all ready for the party and put some glitter on my face and in my hair!
Love Atler

December 21 #2
Dear Journal,:)
I just wanted to tell you that I am ranked number one as of December 20 and second and third are Morgie and Sarah.Morgie left the tour today to home to her family for the holidays and she gave me my present before she left!she got me this really nice leotard thats pink and has my nickname smily on it!
Love Atler

December 21
Dear diary,
Day two of the tour!This mourning we work out at the Indy school of gymnastics at 7:00 to 11pm and it was a really long and detailed nitpicking of skills!I got a little angry at myslef as some of my skills werent going as well as I wanted them to but I knew I had to let that go when we perform later at the childrens hospital we're going to later. ~Im back from the hospital and I had so much fun with all the kids as they were really nice and apprective of what we did for them.I loved looking out into the audience and everyone was completly captured by what we were doing and their eyes light up.One kid is particular caught my eye, a tweleve year old kid name Mark who had eyes that sparkled and who was so filled with life he always kept the nurses are his toes.He has been in and out of the hospital since he was little with a really bad heart and told me all about him playing baseball which is all he really wants to do with his life,his fear of never having a girlfriend and being able to go to parties and just be a normal teen.I got his address and promised to write which I know I will keep as much as I can. I talked to him about my fear of performing at the Olympics which at first I wasnt sure If I should be pouring out my pathtic stories when it seems so little compared to what hes going though but he was interested a! bout how it feels to actually get to go to the olympic.Note to myself:Send him something from the olympics!
After I talked to him for alittle while coach Lois came over and said all the olympicians had to get stretched and ready to perform their rounties!We all chose to wear one of the leotards we recieved form the IFGA so we all matched!I chose bars as I need as muny chances as I can get to perfect this rountie.I was really nervous as I didnt want to disappoint any of this kids.I totally rocked my set ending it with a stuck landing.I was a little disappointed that I thought why cant this happen this way in meets but I got over it real fast.WE signed autographs for everyone that wanted them (which was almost all of them)and gave them presents as well.At 3:30 we left and I came back and took a long nap as I needed it to recoperate from this mourning practice and to gain energy for tonights as the olympic team is going with Lois and doing rountie after rountie!It went fine but I longing to be with Coach Nick and everyone who was working on new rounties as my beam rountie wont come t! ogether.As soon as I got back to the hotal I called my Parents from my cell phone and Went swimming with Cameron,Ali,krista and Amanda!Than I went to bed!LUV ATler :)

December 19
Dear journal,
Hey! As Of the eighteenth of december I am ranked # 1.Tomorrow we leave for our christmas trip to Indianapolis and I cant wait to get out of this place.I love this place but every now and than I need to get out to remain sane,Well as Sane as I can get!I dont know exactly what we are doing on this trip or if we are going to workout alot and Im worried that Im missing some valuable training time but I think I need the mini-break.I have to take a Science test tomorrow on electromagnetic energy and convection,conduction and radiation mambo jambo on the way to Idianapolis and Im dreaded it as we are sopposed to be on a little Vacation but oh well.I actually get to workout out more than once on sunday right up to the Big show or depending on what Coach Lois thinks is necessary.I Know I can be a contender for the gold for Bars and Vault if I do the job Im capable of.My floor and beam are expressive but I just have to control my tumbling passes more but they have improved drastically ! from nationals and even more from worlds!I HAve to work harder and I hope my teammates.I cant believe I actually wrote that I could contend for two medal let alone one.I just think that is too much confidence and way too much pressure but I wanted to aim higher because I know Im capable of better things than I have shown in the past.
Love Atler :)

December 17
Dear diary,
HEY!I am # 1 as of December 16th.Workout rocked today but beam was so annoying as everytime I went to go do my series of bhs layout gianer bhs , I couldnt make the last bhs a gianer because my layout wasnt going straight.Talk about annoying when you have had that combo since you were @ 10 years old!I have my last day of tutoring tomorrow and I cant wait to see the reaction of my tutors face's when they see there giftS!!!
Love Atler

December 16
Dear diary,
Today in practice I hardly noticed the pain but after I knew it was there.I wrapped some christmas presents with Krista And Jennie and Vada while watching "its a wonderful life".For some reason I am really excited this christmas because planning what Im going to give to everybody has taken my mind off this darn wrist.I had to increase my amount of pills to 4 a day and I think im going to need more as the pain is getting worse now that Im putting on more pressure to it.Oh,well Im sick of talking about it so Im going to get an apple and then Im going to retired and watch some more TV.Im turning into a couch potato that wraps christmas presents!
love
atler

December 15
Dear diary,
Today was a good day as i was allowesd to work on some drills for my new"E"vault that coach lois wants us all to have.I already have two which are my current ones and then new front handspring double front and it went really well.My fear of getting kicked off the team is gone and now im looking forward to getting prepared to lead the team at the olympics.Coach lois said that I can place higher than I did at worlds(10th) and our goal was made to make bar finals.My only concern at this point is that Im not going to be prepared enough even though i have done these rounties thousands upon thousands of time.My other concern is that I wont be prepared enough for the new code and After the olympics Im going to be jumping right into trying to perfect my new rounties which is going to be fun and yes furstating!I have to go help Grandma Benni get some dinner ready.
Love,
atler
"This worlds rough and you got to be tough"

December 14
Dear diary,
I feel alot better about where I stand because as of December 12th I am number one in the rankings and I have gotten so much support from everyone,Vada,lara,manda....etc.I have tried everything in my power to be able to train again but no improvement is made.I made a desicion though that even if I have to scream after every skill at the olympics I will be there!I have to go get some treatment for my WRist bye!
atler :)

December 13
Dear diary,
I didnt get to resume full training today .I woke up really early today to go to the docters for a check-up and the docter looked really concerned and now Im worried that Coach Lois is going to replace me with another gymnast.Wow was today an emotion day filled with an up and down rollercoaster as I overheard Coach lois talking with the docter saying that maybe I shouldnt even train at all.Does that mean she doesnt want me to practice and go to the Olympics at all?Oh god please help me!I dont think I can handle the stress right now.I had my last day of school(tutoring)till after the olympics is over and I think its ironic that I get to take off school to train more when really Im not able to training at all.Im sopposed to be training for the olympics when there is a slight chance that I wont be able to train at all!I am so depressed and I really just want to throw in the towel.I dont want to let anyone down,i dont want to let everyone down times that by 50000000....
Love Atler : mixed emotions

December 12
Dear Diary,
Hey.Today was a really good today because everything just felt right and I did a wonderful bar rountie that Coach Lois is almost certain will medal at the olympics but I doubt that!I am looking forward to tomorrow when I can get started training fully again but I hope my wrist isnt a weenie tomorrow. I am also looking forward to the upcoming pre-meets and I should expect to see my scores escualating as I have improved alittle bit everyday.I should be at perfection by now.LOL.I never thought that I could actually medal at the olympic games as I was just hoping to make the team but I have been really rocking my bars set and my vault also and those normally get high scores and I really hope I can do that at the olympic games!!!
I have to go talk to Lara and Rissa but first I need to join Krista for some singing of christmas songs!!!
love atler :)

December 11 #2
Dear diary,
oh,I forgot to say that today is the two month anniversairy of the "attack on America"!

December 11
Dear diary,
Hey.I got the go head for thursday to resume training which is good but quite frankly I think it might be too soon.Then again the olympics are forthcoming and I have to step up to fullfill my role on the team whatever that may be.Which leads me to another thing.Rankings were updated and I was # 2 two and the problem with that is that I am not working to my potential and its a shame that I needed this second place and competition to get me going again(Im not saying that I never have competition).I got the IFGA magazine and it had little news about the upcoming olympic but I assume it will be jam-packed with pre-olympic hype in the next one!Coach said Im a contender as I placed in the top ten and she has seen how much I improved since than. I went to the mall with Vada and I bought out the whole store as it has been forever since I last stepped inside a mall and I did a little christmas shopping!
atler :)

December 10
Dear diary
Nothing is new today.Training was so so.it was neither bad or super and there is no improvements in my wrist.:(I have to go to bed though tomorrow I am going to the mall with maddie to pick up some clothes for the dance shes going to.Sorry for the poor english but Im really tired!!
atler

December 8 #2
Dear diary,
My parents are going back tomorrow as my mom still has movie stuff to wrap up and they also have loads of christmas shopping to do which reminds me I have to get started on that.Any ideas journal????????We're going out to breakfast and then I have to say good-bye.its so hard saying good bye to them and I wish more than anything that they lived here but its just not possible!My brother and I played some games tonight in the rec room and alie,krista and vada joined us!

December 8
Dear diary,
Yesterday was a really long and tough day and that was only because I couldnt train due to the intense amount of pain in my wrist.I went into practice ready to train like always as I have to prepare for the upcoming olympics and I didnt even have not training in my mind but Coach Lois took one look at me and took me to the trainer and told me that I was going to the docters and I wont be practicing at all!I went to the gym after my therapy and rode the stationary bike though my floor rountie and it was hard watching everyone practice and having to just sit there!Today I was allowed to practice only after I got back from the docters office which Lois took me too!We did alot of tests and the outcome doesnt look too favoring.I came back and got set to train worried that Lois wont let me but she got right on me telling me to go higher and stop favoring my wrist.Thats good as I hate being babied when Im training.EVeryone has injuries at one time or another and at this level you jus! t have to deal.Im going to have a snack Im out of energy for that tough workout~
atler

December 5
Dear diary,
Hey. Sorry I didnt write yesterday there was a million things to do around here and training isnt the half of it!Yesterday I had only one practice( but boy was it tough) as I had a fun-filled day making up tons of work from tutoring after missing alot preparing for trials and for worlds!I have made it almost all up now I am going ahead as im going to be out training for the olympics and the olympic games though if there is some downtime during the games I will do this really annoying critical lens essay!We heared from Moranda and her sister got into a fatal car accident and they arent really sure shes going to make it!Vaulting was a bit of a problem today which is understanding as both of them are out of a ten(double twisting tsuk and 2 1/2 twisting yerchenko)but I havent had these problems in forever and I think they are just nerves!I wondered alot about how Eva's doing at her new gym and if Cats knee is doing better!I almost forgot the rankings were updated and Morgan is on ! top and I am so proud of that girl and I am # 2 and Im afraid that Im going to drop alittle more due to only one workout yesterday.(IRL-I had a cheerleading game an hour and a half away and we didnt get back until almost 11 and I only did a required workout).Amanda is # 3 and Jennie is 4#5 is Sarah and 6th is krista!!!!!Vada is 7th~more updates included Muchkin at 12 and Nooners at 13!I gotta go talk to alie and morgie and vada and maddie and sarah and you know everybody!!!
Love and kisses
atler :)

December 3
Dear diary,
The first update of the ranking since before trials founds myslef and Jennie and Sarah amoung the top three but Im afraid that its only out of 15 gymnasts with a couple gymnasts leaving now because of injury(Cat)and to try to refind their love for the sport(Eva).Everyone's upset about Eva but exspecially Rissa since they have grown really close since Rissa first came here and the mood here is mixed with somber and excitement!Morgan has risen to the number four postion and Vada is 5th~Oh before I forget Alie is now an offical member of topopolilly and since EVa is gone(gosh,it stings to write that)Alyssa is going to stay with Vada.Shes in my training group and I hope that it can be just like old times again!Something feels so werid as cameron is number 14th and I really hope shes not thinking about leaving.6th is krista and I hear she was leaving though she hasnt talked to me directly about that so we will see.7th AND 8th is amanda and rissa and Im glad they are holding their p! ositions!:)I dont know what to say journal this gym is not what it used to be!Im sorry I dont want to get you wet journal so Im going to have to stop!
atler

December 2
Dear diary,
Hey.A sad day in the gym today.Eva and Cat are leaving and Lara is undecided and its going to be really tough seeing them all go even if for all its temperaly.Nothing new happened today,I went to church with my parents and trained and talked to Eva and Cat alot and I know how hard my heart is going to sting without those two!Tears are flowing and I have no one to turn too.i dont want to brother krista as shes still really upset about not making the team and shes not in the room!I need someone to talk to.I called some of my friends from home but no one is answering!
atler :0

December 1 #2
Dear Diary,
Oh my gosh,I am writing to you as a member of the 2001 TOPOPOLILLY OLYMPIC TEAM MEMBER!THIS IS THE FIRST ENTRY INTO MY NEW JOURNAL THAT WILL DICTATE MY PATH LEADING UP TO THE BIG O AND WHAT OCCURS WHILE IM THERE!Hopefully what I write will be good!The team will be along with myslef is Jennie Ray,Amanda Williams,Sarah Torrence,Marissa(V,UB)and Vada(bb and fx)and the alternate is Arika!Oh my gosh again I am an Olympician and the feeling of this is something I can not explain!The reaction to each of us were all different in there our way!Jennie,vada and I just cried really hard almost uncontrollably and manda,sarah and rissa were so happy grinning from ear to ear and we all screamed and jumped up and down!My parents were so proud!Im leaving to go out dinner with my mom and dad and brother and later on our family and friends are joining us I cant talk anymore Im too excited!Im going to go celebrate and maybe have a piece of cake!!!!!

December 1
Dear diary,
My parents are coming over tonight as the team is going to be announced and I am so nervous I cant even breath.Some people are either going to reach Mount Olympics or going to go to heartbreak hotel and I hope more than anything I wont have to cried tears of pain tonight even though I will as even if I make the team there will be sixteen girls that have worked hard and that wont get a chance to go to the event of their dreams!I have to go Vada needs to talk to me and I think I hear parents and siblings coming to gather here!I think there going to tell us gymasts first and then we tell our parents though Im not sure!
Next time I write you will know!

November 30
Dear diary,
Hey!We are going to do a gift exchange between all the girls and i think we should all chip in and buy something for coach lois!How about a free week vacation used anytime that the gym could be closed so she doesnt have to hear that people were complaining when she was gone.Just kidding!!!I needed some time away and Lois said that I could hang out with my parents as they are still in town waiting the scores though mom needs to return soon to get back to the movie before the movie breaks again for christmns and because of me that actress and actors have to work up until christmas eve day!!!I feel guilty but all the actors and actress are pulling for me to make this team and I hope I dont disappointment!My parents and my brother matt(I forgot to metion that he came down the day that actual trials were sopposed to be than left then came back after the second rotation was completed)and I went to this place to get our christmas pictures done and then we went to the mall and got a c! ouple little things after all christmas is coming up but since my mom and dad dont get to see me that often (Im 13 and away from home and im the baby)they tend to spoil me rotten when i see them!My brother and I went off and looked for something that we could get our parents!We're thinking off....thats exactly it!I missed my brother so much and he told me how college was going and everything and I might get to go visit him soon that is if mom and dad agree!
I have to go get something to drink!
Love atler

November 28
Dear diary,
I was so nervous today all of a sudden as I havent been throughout this whole trial thing!My mind is as mixed up as a mcflurry!Im nervous about the fourth and final rotation and I have a really funny feeling in my stomuch.I watched some of the olympics from last early during breaks and I started to burst into tears and than krista came in and I stopped.I didnt want her to see me cry if though she has seen me a hundred times before, I was crying because what if I dont make it.That feeling is the worse feeling in the world.Enough to make me puke and I hate to puke!I am waiting for the results even though im not 100% that they are going to be up!
atler :)

November 27
Dear diary,
No more news on the trial!For breakfast today I had cheerios,milk and a banana that was sliced into my cearal!For lunch I eat sort of a dinner(humburger,salad, as I was really hungry after dance and for dinner I had oatmeal and hot chocalate as it was really cold here in the gym!I dont think Grandma Benni has turned on the heater system yet! ~ as I was writing earlier I heard some shrieks from the rec room!The third rotation was put up and I found myslef at the number two spot again and I just hope I can maintain or capitalize on this position!Marissa is number 1,Jennie is # 3,Sarah is # 4,vada has fallen to 5th but I know that she is going to improve on that~(hopefully)On the bubble is 6th-Manda,7th is Eva,8th is arika,9th is krista and 10th is maddie!11th is cat and 12th is cameron though never count her out even at this spot!I gotta go call my parents at the hotal and I hope that they are there!
love Atler

November 25 #2
Dear journal,
HEY :)Apart from the trial standings being updated I went to the grocery store with Grandma Benni to pick out something that shes can cook for dinner tonight.She even let me pick out a new treat!I didnt do as much tumbling today as my wrist was still hurting but even though i didnt do the number # of reps as Im used to the ones I did do I tried to do them as best as I can!Im looking forward to working on my new rounties!
atler :)


November 26
Dear diary,
Lois is back after being gone on some family business and she decicded on a new method on picking the teams which will be done by rankings over four time span dividing each date into rotations.The four roatations are the dates of Nov 11th-14th,second rotation will be from the dates of november 11th- though the 18th,the third round will be from november 11th though the 22 and the last one is when the final olympic team will be from Nov 11th though november 27!As of the first rotation has VADA in the # 1 NUMERO UNO-spot and do you want to know who the second spot holder is? ME~I KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN WORKING HARD LIKE NORMAL BUT I JUST DIDNT EXPECT TO BE THAT HIGH UP IN THE STANDING WITH EVERYBODY DOING SO WELL and in the second round I only secured myslef with a #1 in the rankings where once again Vada and I were 1,2.We are doing it Vada-#2 keep it up!I KNOW PEOPLE DONT LIKE IT WHEN YOU LIST THE RANKINGS IN YOUR JOURNAL BUT I JUST WANT TO KNOW who IS MOVING WHERE AND TO NOTE TH! IS DOWN!SARAH IS # 3 AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY TO HER IS BY IGNORING EVERYONES COMMENTS OR PROHAPS MY BEING SO DETERMINED TO PROVE THEM WRONG AND BY IN THE SECOND ROUND GETTING 5TH IS SHOWING EVERYONE THAT YOU ARE SERIOUS AND THAT YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH TO BE LISTED on the olympic team roster!third in rotation two is Marissa while in round one she was 7th.Jennie was 4th in round one- 6th in rotation #2. Im going to continue but listing the names and then putting both their 1st and second spots!1st number is round 1,second # is round two amanda-5th and then 4th
6th and 9th krista
lara-8th,10th
9th and 7th Eva
arika-1oth,8th
noon-11th,13
linz-12,16
cat-13,12
britt-14,14
alie-15,17
morgie-16th,18th
marie 17,15
maddie-18,11
kiki-19,19
round two has two new people that werent in round one
kelly-20
allison-21


November 23
Dear diary,
It hard to say exactly how Im feeling as the results arent up yet but nevertheless Im worried!Not about if I made the team or not or if I landed my triple twist that gave me problems at nationals but more so if I or the whole people of topo is going to have a trials at all!The reason were worried is for the past week week and a half no one has gotten any word from coach lois and we are quite worried as the roster is due to the IFGA tonight at the latest and we're worried that we wont even get a team in team!There is a chance that Coach LOis will announce it tonight as thats when she usually updates things or she already sent in a team to the IFGA but as we all havent heard from her we have no idea whats going on!
Sleepless at topo
Atler :(

November 22
dear diary,
Happy turkey day!My parents are coming soon to pick me up so I wont have time to write that much!I had an excellant workout this mourning and all I can do is pray for tomorrow and I wont get on the Olympic team because of lack of preparation and consisently in workouts!I can do this!I will write tonight maybe when I get back if theres time!
Love Atler
tomorrow is the day of all days!

November 21
Dear diary,
I did a lot of rounties today and I just hope to god that that will be enough to get me to the big one!I have to go now !
atler

November 19
Dear diary,
MY parents have arrived at about 7:00 tonight and I cant wait to see him!Today was an ok but of course knowing my luck or lack of luck a problem has arisen!My wrist is really really swollen and painful but i didnt stop practicing at all and there is no time left to spend babying it so its totally full steam ahead for trials!I hurt it this mourning when I was doing a comanci and I landed to close to the bar and sort of jerked my wrist and then I went up into a handstand and it felt unstable and wobbly and all of a sudden I heard a thunk and I landed down on the floor with my wrist in a werid position.I went to the trainer for a half an hour and resumed practice with a nice solid bar rountie!It could have been alot worse though and I wish that things could finally get my way!Wait,I think someone is knocking on my door and since Krista is on the phone with Griffen I must get it!

November 18
Dear diary,
I have been looking forward to these trials since missing the last ones and its funny the only think that I want to do is get them over with. Its funny today in practice all I was doing was going though the motions demanding perfection thoughout the whole time but rarely smiley!Me whose nickname in the gym is smiley is so close to finally getting her long time dream and not fully enjoying the journey there!Half of the destination is the journey!!!!!!Im going to see what my teammates are up too then write back my family!
love atler :0

November 17 #2
Dear diary,
You will never guess what happened tonight after ptactice!Well, during practice coach lois had a list three miles long about what we had to work on.I did like 50 of each vault and did about 20 rounties on the remaining three events!Then after everyone went to go take a shower and get all the sweat off and most were plainly on going to bed right after as this workout was rather tiring!Instead Grandma Benni left a note for each of us on our beds and it said "Meet outside by the car in a half an hour tops with presentable clothes"!confused we all got into normal clothes and went outside!The suprise was that Coach Lois and Grandma Benni were taking us all out to eat but first we were going to get a perfessional message!It was incredible and Im sure I wont have problems with my darn back for a really long time!Thanks you so much Coach Loia AND Benni who guys are the greatest!I think they did it because they noticed how hard we have all been working!
Im going to bed now even though having a "night out" was so much fun!(even though its only 9:15 thats quiet late for a elite gymnast preparing for trials!
love Atler :)

November 17
Dear diary,
Now less then a week to go and practice was absolutly incredible this mourning though it was really tough and really tense!Rissa's sisters arrived here today and I got to know them all a little bit in between practices and they are all so nice.One of them is going to the olympics also!The mood of my family members are a bit nerve racking as they all know the hard ships that come from not making an olympic team can cause as they have all learned first hard when my cousin Vanessa failed to make the 2000 olympics.
more about this later
love Atler

November 16
Dear diary,
Nothing new except that maddie is back and I spent alot of time with her today catching up though her knee isnt fully recovered she looks in excellant shape and her spirit is uplifting! Tomorrow is going to be focused on alot more workouts so today I didnt go to dance.Instead I did my homework so instead of doing homework on sunday I can practice more!I cant wait untill trials begin and I get so see my family!My mom called me today and told me that the leotard that I designed is almost finished getting made!I will describe it later but right now Im going to bed. Yes I know its only 9:30 but tomorrow is the big day!No not trials but the tense preparation!
atler :)

November 14
Dear diary,
HEY :)!Today I feel alot better but didnt do as many rounties because I dont want to wear myslef out before trials!My parents and relatives are all coming up for thanksgiving and our whole family is renting this house out an hour or more away from the gym so that I can go back to the gym after the celebration is over!Wow,My family is truly amazing!I will talk to you tomorrow i have alot to do before tomorrows practice! love smiley!:)

November 13
Dear diary,
Im not feeling well today and I took the afternoon practice off at Coach Lois's request though I really wanted to practice. Im sort of glad I didnt has I feel alot better now! Last night I was realy dizzy and woke up this mourning with a really bad headache!Im ready for tomorrows pracitice and it cant come soon enough!
Love Smiley!:)

November 12
Dear diary,
Thanksgiving is coming up but there will be no Apple pies or turkey with all the trimmings or my family or friends or.......Yes,I will be with my second family Topopolilly people but I havent seen most of my family since Nationals and even then I only got to see them for a few hours but I should be grateful as I see my parents alot more than most elite gymnasts do.Its just I love them so much and when I was an elite when I was younger I was able to train and see my parents as I lived at home. I dont know if anyone else is going home but I think alot of people are staying here as the trials are coming up.Today everyone got off for Vetrens day but I have a math test tomorrow and had to go to tutoring and do some math problems to prepare!I think Im going to do good as I already did something similar to this last year though its added on from last year!My brother called me last night to see how I was doing and I started to cry because I missed him so much!I have to go read some bo! ok for english "october sky".
Love
Atler :)

November 11
Dear diary,
HEY :)Today was a very mellow day but when you hear that dont think I was lazy in fact it was just that opposite today but I did allow myslef some down time to write letters and listen to music but I had to run to the gym shop and get some batteries as I listen to alot of cds on my walkman today when Krista was napping And snoring!I did have some trouble today in mourning workout on my rufolva combination on beam because I kept on landing over to the side alittle but all in all a great practice!I have to go get ready for dance class so talk to you later
atler :)

November 10
dear diary,
What is going on I am now number three and the only word to describe how im feeling is disgusted beyond words!I am sinking lower and lower into nothingness and If I get any lower I dont know what Im going to do!I am writing this before breakfast and I will get back to you on the rest of the rankings later but the only thing I know is that I am not on top anymore and I know for a fact that I dont like it one bit!I know that this is heading towards a really bad day but I know that mopping around will do nothing for me and I have no time to seat with trials 18 days away
Love Smily :)

November 9 #2
Dear condfident and keeper of all deams,hopes and worries,
I forgot to give u the update version of the rankings as i think im going to do that everytime with trials coming up because it will help me know where everyone deserves to stand prior to the last update though anything can happen between the last update though!
#1 Eva-ur great!
# 2- moi
#3- Rissa roo roo
# 4-Sarah-nothing can keep you down girl :)
#5 Amanda-so proud of you
# 6-Arika-you have to believe your good and kep going 20 more days
# 7-krista- hope your feeling better as I was really concerned about you!nurse smily to the rescue!
#8 Vada-We have less than 20 days till trials(someone please tell me how many days?) and we have had many months of dreams and hard work put into this and I know we can do this together!
#9-cameron-i am amazed at you time and time again every day you come to the gym and work hard and you are one of my role models not just in the gym but in life as your care-free attitude gives me chills.I also admired through your uncles death your determination as you dont have to be here during this bad time.
10- our national champ on the raise!you got this goal and your going to achieve it.
11-Cat- keep working hon and believe that you can do it!lok how well you did at worlds and look to the big O!
12-linz say hi to susan saranden for me!lol
13-lara
14- marie:)
15-morgie-hold our head high because your a champion!
16-Alie-Hey girl
17-Kiki-
18-britt
19-alison
You know what vada says "work hard achieve more" and as trials are coming closer and closer these words should be on everyones mind because if you guys dont believe in yourslef then if you waste our talent and worktime and trials comes and the team is selected its a question of did I work to my potential.
love smiley
atler :)

November 9
dear journal,
Im no longer then at the top spot in the rankings as I have fallen to # 2 again.Im a little worried that Coach Lois will think that I am slaken off just because I think i have the number one spot locked up but really I try my hardest everyday in the gym and I hope she see what a hard worker I am!I have a bunch of questions that have been going thogh my head ever since I saw my name under the number two spot,1st Im so mad at myslef but also want will happen if I get towards the numbers like 4th or 6th or even 7th?I expect alot out of myslef and I will be devasted if my name keeps slipping!I have to go to the docters for a recheck on my back!
talk to you later
atler (smily,right Eva and Vada)

November 8
Dear diary,
No more muscle tension and Coach Lois just said that overworks was the cause!No updates again today and I hope lois is ok!krista is sick so I have also been busy being her surrogate mother making her soap and providing her entertainment!Wasnt my singing broadway material?Im going to chill with Amanda,Lara and Arika as they are all going though a slump and its my job to be a great friend!
atler :)

November 6
Dear Journal,
No updates and no announcement about the Anne of Gables meet and I have to be honest Im not really into competing in this meet as I want to compete in the international team competition and I dont want to wear myslef out before trials!I did all my homework by afternoon practice and even dd some extra math and that left me with nothing too do!Things are normal around here and I dont know how many days are left until trials so i cant write about that.I think its less than 20 and I noticed that Jennie hasnt been talking to me lately!I wonder if shes mad at me for some reason.
love Atler :0

November 5
dear diary,
Today I had an awesome practice and recieved a letter from little Jilly!I have been working rounties for weeks as I want to make sure that number one they are the best they can be and # 2 they are consisent!I really want an Olympic spot and I dont know what Im going to do if I dont make the team!I put so much for so long into this Olympic games and I know in my heart and mind that I have what is takes as I have overcome so much!I eat healty usually but today I had lemonade instead of water water water!I have to go now and talk to some peeps!
love Atler :)

November 4
Hey,
As of Saturday,November 3rd Im 1st and I feel AWESOME SO AWESOME.I didnt do beam today as Lois thought I deserved a break but I went full steam on tumbling.Taking extra caution by icing everything at the slightest pain right up though trials!The rankings look like this
2nd- Riss-doing awesome and your injury is not keep you down, Awesome!
3rd- Sara
4th-lara
5th-amanda-your back
6th-Arika
7th-krista
8th-Eva
9th-Cat
10th-Cameroon
The top ten hasnt really changed the last couple times it has been updated i think all but rissa (i could be wrong though so sorry if i say inarracute info)has changed the top ten!Just outside the top ten is my sidekick VAdie!with Marie,Britt,Jennie and Morgie going 12th-15th respectivly. Rounding out the top 20 are as followings:Alie,kiki,alison james,linz and danielle and the list of injured are currently moranda with a pulled hamstring-should be back by tomorrow though,MAddie with a sprained knee-due back Nov 15 and Kellu with her collerbone till December 1st and I miss her so much!

November 3
Dear Journal,
HEY:)Is this me?I feel so great today as I did all my tumbling and all my rounties were awesome!I even did some extra dance and some different tumbling passes.Little Jilly is coming here for a think a month and I cant wait as she is the little sister I never had.She is so adorable!I did some extra homework tonight as tutoring hours as been cut down to only two hours.Alie invited me,lara,Krista,Eva and Vada I think to the amusment park but im afraid that i wont be able to go but I asked lois anyway!
atler :)

November 1
dear journal,
Hey.Just another day filled with yet another horrible practice.I got yelled at by coach Lois because I was hesitating my pirouette movements.I also wasnt working up to my potential and at this point with my "sickness"I am running away from my dream and more than anything I have given up hope.I havent told anyone this as I dont want to put the attention on me and with the trials coming up I dont want anyone to be worried about me.THe thing is no one not even the coaches or my teammates or my parents know how bad I am feeling.I went to the training room alot today as my back,muscles were sore!I am yes going to bed now
atler
No Smiles today unless the pain goes away.:/

October 31
Dear deary,
Happy HALLOWEEN AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADDIE!Unfortunatly the day didnt included trick or treating or candy:( and was filled with fustraition as I had a horrible practice!IRL-The USA woman finished 3rd behind Russia and Romania and the man got 2nd behind belarus!I am tired and unable to focus.
Good night :/
Atler

October 30
Dear journal,
Hey.Tomorrow is Halloween though I and most of the other girls wont be going trick or treating and their is no one out here to hand out candy as we are isolated!Being Isolated as given me the oppurtunity to think about the past couple months and the weeks coming up but mostly about whats going on with my body.Its betraying me at the wrong time.I have been to the gym everyday for months and months on end,day in and day out and have had my good and my bad days with the rest of the girls.I have been though disappoints(NAtionals)abd joys(worlds).But mostly negatives have come from Worlds and nationals because i came so prepared to both meets and faultered!Something that I have constantly on my mind is the possiblity of not making the team!I am in so much pain and for the first time in my mind the thought of stopping came to my mind as I dont know if tomorrow I will wake up and not be able to walk much less tumble.I dont want to impose my problems on all the rest of the girls so Im! just going to act like everything is ok!:0
Im going to the rec room to see what everyone else is doing!
Love Atler :0
Why is it that when you want something so bad the oppostite happens and you blame yourslef?

October 29
Dear journal,
Hey.As of sunday I am first in the rankings though i didnt get selected to compete in any of the two meets that were announced :(.I think that its because I just got back from the fall fest meet and they dont want to overcompeted us since the trials are coming up.I recieved alot of letters from my friends and family but I had to wait untill after my ten tons of homework was done.My muscles were very tense again today but I was really tight on beam and my bars flowed like never before so it didnt damper any of my skills tonight.Coach is getting me an appointment with the docters a week and a half before trials and until then Im not going to tell my parents whats going on!Good or Bad Idea????If Coach Lois thought it was a problem she would have told my parents so.....All my friends and family dont really get what training for the olympics take and they have been asking for me to come and do this and that and sure I miss out on alot of things I know its worth it.The trials is the! next step .I have to go get something to drink
atler :0

October 28 #2
Dear journal :)
Hey!I just got back from a squad workout where everyone is the lilly squad went into the gym and we all did rounties for each other in preparation for our next squad meet.I also gave everyone a prep talk and then I stayed behind and did some dance as my dance as been in the back of my floor rountie because I am always worried about my tumbling so i just went to the floor and did some beam and floor dance thoughs and some dance jumps.Maddie is injured but hopefully will be back before trials.I had a really great workout tonight before the squad one but since i did the meet workout with all the girls in the fall fest meet i am a little tired tonight.
love you lots
atler :)


October 28
Hey Journal,
AS of sat I am number 1!But nothing can make me feel good after our disappointing meet at the fall fest meet yesterday.Our team was unprepared and wasnt ready for this meet but we still went in there as World Champions and that made everyone confident that we WILL win.Unfortunatly and fortunatly in some ways getting 9th out of 11th in prelims was a huge eye opener to us because it got everyone back to reality.Everyones attitude lately has been that we will just go into every meet and win just because we are world champions and that is not the case.We are going to have to work harder because we have to prove again and again that we deserve to be that best.I will post a message i posted later as you need to read where im coming from!
Love atler
ps.I qualified to vault finals!

October 27
Hey Journal,
AS Of friday I am # 1!I dont have anything to say as today went pretty normal!
love Atler

october 26 #2
dear diary,
Hey.Today was an ok day as I had a stomuchache that could have affected my workout terribly by not going for everything but I went and gave 100% and though bars and floor was a little rough it still turned out for the best.I almost didnt go but then I was thinking only.Grandma Benni is taking Jennie,Vada and I on a ride tonight as she sees that we all our going though alot lately and need a break!I really appriciate everything that she does for all of us like some days I will find a little something like a note or stickers or something after a bad day.She really is the best.I am just writing for a quick minute well Vada finshes up and then we are going for a ride.
bye for now
atler :)


october 26,2001

Dear diary,
Hey.I worked on alot of new skills today trying really hard to put some kind of rountie together. I had alot of time to do homework today as I finished practice early because I was all buissiness today after getting fourth in the ranking yesterday. Im not going to let that happen again.I felt alot better about my tumbling and my dance felt awesome from Dance class yesterday but now I have to go talk to alie and Eva.
Bye for now
atler


October 25
Dear journal,
Hey!I dont know if I told you this yesterday but as of OCtober 23,2001 Im number 1 in the rankings again.I want to wish Morgie a Happy birthday girl!!Oh,Speaking of birthdays,you know Moranda's was yesterday.I was planning on giving Moranda her gift after I was done with my homework as I had some extra time after. Then it happened again!I fell asleep.Then today when I was doing some dance elements in the dance section and My legs just gave out.Cameron was there and she helped me up and asked me if I was ok and I said yes but really I was worried.WHATS GOING ON WITH ME?WHatever is going on I hope it will be found at the docters so that i can stop having all these funny feelings.the girls think its mono but I hope not as you can be out for months with that!I have @31 days and Im getting really time a thousand nervous now that its right around the corner.tonights practice suffered again and coach just had me do rounties but I gave them my all.Im going to talk to some peeps and th! en going to bed.
love atler :)
October 23
Dear Diary,
Hey.The all-around final is in and...... no medal :(I got 10th out of 35 in finals and there is only disappointment about my meet(rountie wise-About my self I learned alot).The result of the meet was a gift from god as I did really poorly and shouldnt have even deserved a place among those athletes.I did( as Sarah reminded me) get the highest floor score,9.775 but that was the only highlight of the night as I was an embrassment to topopolilly and to myslef.I was on floor first and hit my rountie and found myslef right in the mix at one point even leading.It didnt last long as my next even was vault and I started with my 2 1/2 twisting yercheko(one of the more difficult vaults being done)and took a hop on the landing ,then I did my kind of new double twisting tsuk and went flying and fell to my knees.I walked away with my head helded high and I knew that was something completly different then other meets in the past as I normally would have went into a chair and cryed instead I! looked to Lois for some advice and got my grips on and started doing drills for bars.As I was warming up for the corner of my eyes I saw cat on beam doing an incredible rountie scoring a 9.8.I then went to bars and plainly as day fell apart.I fell of on my back uprise to full piroeuette of all things and the journey down to the mat below seemed like a million years and the score was a 8.975.As I prepared to mount the Balance beam the realization came that I was going to medal but I didnt give up.I fought though all the rounties which included a almost new fall on my full twisting bhs.My score was a 8.75 and I can honestly can say that I am proud of myslef because I never give up!Moranda's birthday is tomorrow but I will tell you what I got her tomorrow because its 5:50 and I want to go watch the Pop Vs.opilly squad duel!!!!!!!!
Love Atler
-32 more day till the trial of my life!!!:) :)

October 22

Dear diary,
Hey.I am back to # 1 in the rankings today and I cant believe it.Well,I have been working extremly hard but by the looks of it so has everybodt else.Lilly won the interquad meet again!My scores were:second higest out of three on vault-9.525,9.575 on bars-2nd highest,beam was a high 9.875 and I didnt compete floor because my tumbling has been a little inconsisent lately but good news today!I hit all my tumbling passes!i am working so hard and it shows!I have to go write some letters back to my parents.
love Atler

October 21
Dear diary,
Hey.There ended up not being a duel meet of lilly vs Tiger and in some ways I was disappointed because I thought we were going to win but then again I was happy because I had more time to work on rounties and the new skills i am learning. 33 days in counting.I am really nervous and sort of anger because I know that I have been working so hard in the last 100 months(ok Im being wracky but its ok) and they is a big chance that I wont make the team if more people get into gear and surpass me alot in the rankings.I am not going to back down and give up when times are tough.I had a really god practice working on a new tumbling series of ro bhs back tuck .I have to go to practice now
love atler

October 20
Dear diary, hey.Today was a beautiful saturday.Arika gave me a big shocker today by telling me that the big O trials are in 34 days.I know that everyone is going to be kicking themsleves into gear as they all do right before a meet but all I have to do is do what I have been doing forever and kick it up a couple of beats and I Will be on that team. Unfortunatly I have learned that its not that easy and Im afraid of what can happen so Im taking all the precautions possible.Im going to physical therapy everyday even when Im just a little sore and Im doing all sorts of new excerises to warm up more of my muscles and make sure im in the right state of mind.I have to admit that Im a little apperhesive about this trials because the competition is so tough and I dont want anything bad to happen like right before last years trials.I am going to the lounge now to watch the tape of worlds.
Love Atler
~Its time now.The chance of a lifetime.The oppurtunity to be amoung the worlds elite and a chance to shine.Olympic games 2001!

October 19 #2
Dear diary,
I had a really good workouut and learned alot of new skills.Im really worried about Jennie because she hasnt been her usual slef lately.Tomorrow night(Sat) Alie is sleeping in mine and krista's room so we can catch up on some things and talk about her date with Ian.Im tired now so Im going to bed.
Love Atler

October 19
Dear diary,
Hey.Today for mourning practice it was packed because alot of the girls had school off today due to a conference.I got an unusual oppurtunity to write letters back to my family and friends and even some fans.Grandma Benni took some of us out to lunch today in town and I ran into brian and some more of his friends and he asked me how worlds want and everything but i felt alittle ackward as I havent talk to him for a long time.I went to bed early last night and I am still tired!
love atler

October 18
Dear diary,
WOW.Does something feel werid or what.I am so drained out its amazing.Between worlds and squad meets and preparing for the big O and getting new rounties Im so tired.It was the weriedest thing because I was just about ready to do a rountie this mourning so I was standing in one spot visualizing my rountie and a few minutes later Eva was shaking me and was saying wake up wake up.Coach told me to go and have a 15 minute break so confused I went into the locker room and splashed some water on my face and then went back off for more training.I guess that was a signed to maybe slow it down a little and pace myslef.I joked about it and im