ennui.

Sunday, December 31st 2006

Saturday, December 30th (p.m) 2006

i can say it 938793875587infinity times and its always true

people are retardeddddd!!

HAHAH.
i want this but not really. at all. ;/

also, this movie reveals new levels of twisted insane-ness. i haven't exactly seen many spanish films, but what the hell? and i say "what the hell" in a good way.

GOODBYE 2006! YOU SUCKED
but not as bad as 2005

Saturday, December 30th 2006

i was going through old links in my favorites and came across this zombie prank:
http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=2349&rtn=index-topten. thats pretty messed up haha.

my vision gets worse every month. it really sucks, i'd be too cheap and wimpy for laser eye surgury, and contacts freak me out. last thing i need is to be wearing my glasses 24/7. its bad enough i keep losing mine, and i cant even use a computer without them anymore. bitchbitch whinewhine who cares.
me in 10 years!

& this is probably one of my most favorite movie scenes ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsxKDP-L1Bs

i'm boring.

Friday, December 29th 2006

saddam executed
another day marked in human history.

and i've got nothing to say about that.
as for me, i need to get a job. im not going to sit on my butt bored for another 3 weeks before spring semester.
and i need to move out of here, this house is driving me insaaaaaane. i cant even sleep at night.
still not being able to get hold of a wii this long after it's release does not help.

Saturday, December 23rd 2006

the holidays are here...
the season that reminds us there are too many goddamn people in this world.

Wednesday, December 13th 2006

http://www.gamespot.com/pc/strategy/leftbehindeternalforces/review.html

ok so a new game has been released based on a popular christian book series known as "Left Behind". why is this so funny? well, read the article. some of the blatant stereotypes they mentioned make you wonder if the developers were even serious when they made this thing. that sad part: they probably were.

you're either on the side of the christian "peacekeepers", or the antichrists. The antichrist group includes rockstars and gives everyone a muslim sounding name. cause of course..if you're not with the christians you're muslim or something (???wtf).

basically you go around trying to convert everyone. if you cant convert the antichrists, you kill them.
yes thats right. all the happy christian fanatics who are calling the game "suprisingly good" are getting it's true message: accept jesus or die

oh not to mention.. if you buy this game and decide to pick the side of the antichrists, there's no way to win lol

.......GOGO christian family moral gameplay!
really, what the hell.
i don't care if anyone's making religious games. that's beside the point.. what gets me is, why do we have to see this kind of shit? I would assume people who hold strong christian values and morals would be against the notion of "JESUS OR DEATH" and that kind of crap. but again, there are extremists in everything in this world. Too many shallow narrow-minded people.

there was this documentary released just this past summer about this exact kind of thing, called Jesus Camp (watch the trailer to see brainwashing at new highs). i bet it made that point as clear as possible. i guess you can never be surprised by how crazy people can be. if anything, it's these kinds of people that turn people away from religion, instead of the opposite intention.

anyway, where is my wii?;;;;;

Tuesday, December 12th 2006

internet celebrities.
anyone can be one!
apparently.

its like the new way people get their own high on themselves. and it works. and its easy.. maybe too easy. so easy that total idiots can begin to think they are smart, clever, witty, and even attractive. It's all exploited through things like blogging (livejournal), camwhoring (myspace) and the wonderful world of forums where we can see morons outwitting other morons throughout pages and pages of 'pwnage'. I guess the newest thing is this type of video-blogging (which i've seen a lot of on youtube).

People keep recorded entries of their life now, and share it on youtube like they're starring in their own soap opera. and...yes people will watch it. its really kindof an interesting concept. Expressing yourself is all it's about anymore. Really though, i think it's gotten beyond the point of expressing yourself, to trying too hard to get people to admire you. Say the craziest stuff, make the most entertaining remarks, "win the e-crowd" just so you can get the attention you always needed that your real life neglects you of...

But this is turning into everyone. Its just funny when people get this kind of encouragement. Some are ridiculous, some aren't bad though. Again, thats why i say this whole thing is kind of interesting. People like this guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJn5Qm793CM
(who made a video response to a fake lesbian vid posted by PETA) building themselves up to be reach levels of hype. this one is kindof entertaining though, but you can see how many people responded.

seriously there are no limits on anything anymore.
become an internet superstar!...lol

other than that, im feeling like shit again.
thoughts of how i'm not on track at all keep bothering me. i haven't been sleeping like i used to. it's like as soon as my body starts acting normal again and i dont feel so physically sick all the time, i start getting down.

i wanted to keep my grades high but that all managed to blow up in this last week of classes. well not really...im being a bit dramatic here, but i just get so mad at myself.

i dont know what i want out of life, i don't know how im going to take advantage of it. i spend too much time wishing i was a different person instead of working on improving whatever i feel i cant change about myself. its an odd predicament.

i think a lot about what happened to dustin. i had this dream a few weeks ago where we were hanging out in some random neighborhood late at night. I knew what was going to happen to him, but i couldn't tell him. i couldn't do anything about it. i couldn't do anything but continue following him around to the random places we were going while feeling so distressed.
i dont know what to think about death anymore. i would ignore it, i always thought of death as just 'the end'. you live and you die, just like anything else that functions on this planet. and that life is all about how you spend the time you are given.

thinking about wasting that time and eventually coming to an end is terrifying. but that's exactly what i'm doing. i'm wasting my time by thinking about it. but thats the way it is. after what happened, i just can't think like that anymore. its too hard. i'd almost rather lie to myself and live with that; which is completely contradicting as well as useless. Now dustin is the one who has moved on ahead.

what happened just hit so much harder, you know? it's not like when an elderly grandmother or grandfather dies. it's so different. so unexpected. our lives are so short, and thats all we have.
i dont know how to make myself happy; and i can't just distract myself forever.
i don't know what to think.

i want to start playing piano again and start drawing more.
im such a bumfuckkkkkkk. And i just saw The Queen and it was kindof entertaining-ish.. uh

Sunday, November 26th 2006

OMG, DISNEY you cover-up losers:

Recently I've had time for free reading since I've finished all my other assigned class readings (for the most part), so I decided to finish The Da Vinci Code which I had started earlier this semester after seeing the movie several times (I Loooove this film, be sure to see it if you haven't).

There's one part in the book when Langdon is talking about modern symbology to Sophie, and it's hints toward the story of the Holy Grail and Mary Magdeline. There's a good chunk at the end of the chapter that discusses the secret brilliance of Walt Disney's hidden messages in his works such as Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and The Little Mermaid. There was even a reference to those rumors in the '90s about the word "Sex" being hidden in the dust in a scene from The Lion King.

I remembered hearing about that; I'm sure most people do remember those 3 lawsuits agains The Lion King, The Little Mermaid and Aladdin. My friends told me about it in like elementry school or something; we'd try to find the scene and sure enough, did discover it during our lack of anything better to do. Not only that but they told me about the minister's erection in The Little Mermaid (WAY more blatant once you see it). There was this scene when Ursela (disguised as a "Venessa") was marrying Eric..you guys remember that?lol. If you have the video, you'll see an obvious erection bouncing up and down at the beginning of the minister's marriage sermon:

Disney simply said they were the knees.

I'd completely forgotten about those up till this point. Anyway, my Mom's been repurchasing all the old Disney classics that we had on VHS on DVDs. I was just curious if that scene had been altered cause I had a feeling something like that would have been. Sure enough!:

so ya, the fact that they edited the "knees" (Disney's defense to the discovery of the animated erection), only shows that it was in fact an erection and had to be edited out lol.

There was other stuff too, like how one of the pillars of King Triton's kingdom had a drawn-in penis on the VHS box-cover art.

Another one my friends told me about that one in Aladdin, there's a very obvious "take of your clothes" spoken during a scene when Aladdin is talking to Jasmine on her balcony (when her pet tiger is growling at him, remember?). We didn't believe it at first but sure enough found the scene with the insert, which is again VERY obvious once you first hear it. I just checked the Aladdin DVD re-release and sure enough, that had been edited out too lol.

My mom hasn't gotten The Lion King on DVD yet...but i am tooootally checking when she does. (cause i have no life).

The point Langdon was getting at was Disney's relation to DaVinci for their use of "pranks" or tricks, specifically apparent in their art. The book wasn't really referencing these kind of hidden symbols (you'd have to read the book to see what it's talking about), rather, other symbolism in the older movies Walt Disney composed himself. But I'd say his points are completely legit. I wonder where Dan Brown researched all this information though, really.

So if you've got the VHS versions of these films you might want to save them, simply cause those copies aren't what they release anymore. $$$? lol.

can you tell im bored as hell?;;

Wednesday, November 15th 2006

ive known you since elementry school. You're probably my oldest friend that i've kept in touch with over the years.

it's just not fair that this happened to you. and i just cant stop thinking about it, even though it hurts so much.

why do things like this have to happen

you're such an important person Dustin. and i feel so privileged to have had you as a part of my life. I just dont know what to say or think at this point.
you will never ever be forgotten.

Thursday, November 9th 2006

my english professor handed me back my essay with the following grade written at the bottom: "A-/B+"
what? what the hell is a- slash b+? do you want me to circle one and give it back to you? i almost would except he has absolutely no sense of humor.

http://theshermanfoundation.blogspot.com/2006/11/one-bank.html
oh and this is why im a bank of america customer. LOL

Sunday, November 5th 2006

i dont know why but for the past few nights ive dreamt ive been close to falling off cliffsides.
if it keeps up i think it'll actually make me afraid of heights, cause this is getting ridiculous.

as far as halloween goes, 2best costumes:
-the monty python king arthur on campus WITH the coconut-clicking-assistent.
-the 11-year old boy dressed as a woman (it was just awkward seeing this little kid wearing a stuffed bra and wig with heals, etc)

ff12 took 3+ years to come out but i'd say its worth it. and wii this month!
oh and if you havn't already (i dont know why anyone hasn't yet), go see Borat.

Monday, September 25th 2006

Jury duty!
yay america!!!....

Monday, September 18th 2006

My mom comes into my room tonight and says:
"so, guess what i saw on the way to work today?"
me: ?
mom: "a dead body. some guy in his 20's committed suicide, he ran out in the middle of the freeway to kill himself."
what do you say to that huh... just another fucked up day in this lovely world.

i'm reading The Epic of Gilgamesh for my Western Civ course. Funny how it's practically the first recorded story in human history, yet it's almost like reading a cheap romance novel (im serious).

and is it just me, or do all english teachers/professors seem like the most depressed, tired, drone bunch of them all? It's always the english teacher that looks like they have a migrane 24/7 and have a permanent glum look about them.

and i think my stomach is finally getting better. i know im probably jinxing myself though.

Monday, September 4th 2006

After years of pulling crazy stunts with snakes and crocodiles, mr.crikey crocadile hunter Steve Irwin dies to a stingray ;/
this is depressing.

and rofl @ wicker man. good god there's so much to make fun of it'd take pages. nicholas cage kungfu'ing young girls while dressed in a bear suit is almost worth seeing though..."GOD DAMMIT!" lolol.

Wednesday, August 30th 2006

http://cbs2.com/topstories/local_story_237163330.html

yet again cops prove they are paid assholes and arrogant power-hungry sacks of shit.
Apparently two fully trained grown adult cops can't handle a 120lb 19 year old girl armed with a knife without pointing a gun at her chest and killing her.

"Someone armed with a knife is a very dangerous person and the officers have a right to defend themselves," said Sheriff spokesman Jim Amormino.

...

...............no fucking comment.

It's not like these things haven't happened before.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=1568715 (unarmed innocent passenger shot 5 times while obeying directed orders by officer)

You know how many cases there are where people have been shot and killed without even having a gun in their posession?

this stuff is sickening.

Friday, August 25th 2006

Well, Pluto just got demoted guys :(

Wednesday, August 16th 2006

i just wrote up some long mundane entry, read it, and realized it was about absolutely nothing.

and i am so over those lets-bitch-about-life or people-are-retarded posts, so i'm better off not saying anything.

basically, i'm still a complete introverted loser/loner dork who enjoys the retardation of the internet and it's e-population. I still hang out in my own head all the time. I still dunno what I'll be doing with my life. I'm still not working. I still dont really give a shit about most things. I'm still cynical toward 90% of the population.

but it's just nice to wake up in the mornings and not feel like complete shit for once in my life.

...ok, minus the stomach virus/flu/whatever i've had for the past week. HOLY CRAP it hurts.

Sunday, August 6th 2006

I AM SURROUNDED BY MORONS AND LITTLE CHILDREN!!

(+hypocritical whiners)

Ffffffsdfsdffffsdlkgjjjjjj

Monday, June 12th 2006

i hate cops. police. anyone working for state/government funds. Working by the "protect and serve" code... my ASS. I dont care what anyone says, all they do is write tickets all day. Secretly parked at street corners waiting to bust innocent drivers for unfair reasons (like oh shit you didn't come to a complete stop.. YOUS A THREAT!!). Or handing out those parking tickets every street cleaning day cause supposedly everyone is supposed to remember that shit every single time. Lurking around high school campuses, hiding at the other end of the streetwalk to bust kids for jaywalking who are just trying to make it to class before the bell rings.
When has a cop been helpful, when are they NOT jerks enjoying ruining your day? never.

Its the kind of job where you are officially paid to be an asshole. Honestly, who wakes up in the morning, living their everyday Dream Job, thinking "oh shit i cant wait to ruin everyones day cause its my job!" Seriously, why would you wanna be a cop? Especially in all these 0-crime small cities, where there's no shadey shit going on whatsoever.

I dont appreciate getting woken up at 8am just to be yelled at, getting the whole "YOU NEED TO LEARN SOME RESPONSIBILITY" speech screamed at me because we both forgot to move the car, then being told 1minute later after not responding: "AND STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF". i cant even win, old news.

How about the speeding ticket? 75mph on a freeway is sure dangerous.. 10 fucking mph over the speedlimit. Who cares about all these fags driving 90, lets just pull this girl over cause she's close

My hats off to you, po-po's.

Monday, May 8th 2006

i got home from class this morning and saw a big red balloon hidden in the bushes near the side of the house. I was a little weirded out to see "Sarah" was written all over it in a kid's writing; eerie coincidence i guess? Regardless of what that was all about, it reminded me of that old film The Red Balloon that i would watch practically before i could even talk. I think i had the book when i was little too, and i was obsessed with that story.
...childhood;;;;;;;;;;;; i feel like it was 50 years ago.

on another note, i sadly admit i've sunk to a new low and made a myspace. What's the world coming to?

Sunday, May 7th 2006

alright, here's the rule of thumb when you're trying to deal with life:

you cant progress or move on from anything if you don't accept. but in order to accept, you have to understand.
how the fuck are you supposed to accept something if you dont understand it?

accepting things in life is pretty much the hardest part in the roadblock, but if you're not able to fully understand a scenario, then you're left feeling kindof hopeless. But it is possible, it just makes it 10x harder to move on.

the only thing you can do for yourself when you're denied the information to help you understand, is to accept that you can't always make sense of the things you are faced with. Having that as an understanding is the best you can do to help yourself accept and move on.

So all of it is basically a big loophole with one end feeding the other. But i think its necessary to consider and verify those facts to be so.

rule2: everything takes time. a long time. its part of the process. the only motivator is the unpredictability of the times to come, that offers more satisfaction, whether the thought is comforting at the present time or not.

to keep yourself sane in that aspect, you have to remember that nothing lasts forever no matter how good or bad it is.
so in a sense, you're really not losing anything in life. capiche?

thats probably the most philosophical blurb i've had in over a year.
it makes sense if you read it over slowly a few times, really.

Saturday, May 6th 2006

i had a dream last night where i was attending medical school, and now im seriously considering just going into that field so i can stop worrying about wtf im going to do with my life.

i really dont know if i can sit in front of a computer for the next 40 years or so.

but i think my brain broke back in high school and i have the dumb.

Friday, May 5th 2006

i wasn't very impressed :( thats what happens when trailer > movie.

Wednesday, May 3rd 2006

I'm gonna watch Lost and then im gonna pass out.
why cant i just sleep for a living?
i'd be world champ.

Wednesday, April 26th 2006

i have no clue why i've been keeping up with entertainment news lately, probably cause i have nothing better to do.
i've been getting Entertainment Weekly magazine for the past few months or so for free cause of some best buy purchase from awhile back..but I think they made some error in the limited subscription cause I'm still getting the free issues that were supposed to stop coming 3-4 weeks ago. but hey no complaints.

oh and on the previoius subject of tom cruise + placenta-ness:
"Actually, it�s come to our attention that in his recent Primetime interview with Diane Sawyer, he joked about eating placenta and then noted that the media would run it as a serious quote. Way to follow instructions, everyone."
hahaha. ohwell, the fact its still believable is whats so disturbing.

speaking of gross, i know this is kindof old, but ewww :/
so are you thinking.. sick and raunchy? I'm not referring to her music, either. Pro-Life just gave themselves a blow to the head; not so much cause of the ridiculous image of birth-on-a-bearskinned-rug itself (hahaha), but the fact that they're using miss sacntity-marriage Britney Spears as the maternity pro-life icon LOL.
and considering what a realistic "birth" position that is, i'm sure we can all take this piece of art very seriously.....(honestly, wtf?).

what's up with our culture

Thursday, April 20th 2006

WTF?!???????????

HI I'VE LOST MY APETITE FOR LIKE A WEEK NOW THANK YOU.!!

Wednesday, April 19th 2006

so whats going on these days?

Have you heard of the upcoming ass shittery in Hollywood?
How would you feel to get to say like, "Hi I play the role of the terrorist in the united 93 movie, nice to meet you." Great career starter man.
As for the first trailer, im sorry but LOL. Try watching it muted, its even more hilarious. "DID THE PLANET BETRAY US?! OR DID WE BETRAY THE PLANET?!" ............ya ok.
dont get me wrong, i care a lot about the environment and all, but wtf hollywood? make a documentary if you wanna report facts, not some complete 'terrifying' propaganda bullshit.

no wonder people don't go to the movies anymore.
isn't it wonderful how america associates fear with entertainment. cause apparently that gets you RATINGS! its like they're all thinking "Hey, this country is addicted to fear, lets put it all over the media and MAKE MONEY OFF OF IT, YEAH. $$$". Like watching the news the other day; it was nothing but how all the major US cities have a potential chance of getting blown up within the next 10 years, cause apparently anyone can make their own mini warhead nowadays.
Nobody likes this country i swear.

On a whole different tangent, Tom Crusie and Katie Holmes finally had their baby! Little Suri was ...oh wait, no one cares!

ever heard of larping? i hadn't either.
its just another 9857893523millionth little thing i learned on the internet. you can become educated too:

"Perhaps sports and LARPing are mutually exclusive. If you like sports, you have probably never been exposed to the horror that is "Live Action Role Playing". If you like larping you most probably do not enjoy sports in any way. I saw people larping once and it was like watching the drama club meet at Denny's. It was just a bad scene to me.
If you don't know what larping is or you can't envision it, I will give you the key to the domain of larp: Try this google image search and it will tell you a lot about larping. Except imagine those guys running around in the parking garage of a university with all their capes and everything on, yelling, "OBFUSCATE!!! I OBFUSCATED! I'M INVISIBLE NOW! I'M ALSO A MALKAVIAN! MALKAVIANS ARE VIOLENT AND LOVE DENNY'S!!!!!!"

(-taken from the toothpaste blog. cause that guy is funny shit)
speaking of live roleplaying, this one was funny too.

no really, my IQ just dropped 5 points.

Sunday, APRIL 16th, 2006

i wrote up some whole long entry about how tired i am of mankind and their hateful hypocritical bullshit, but my isp decided to go out right when i hit the save button; so none of that today.

anyway, even though we're all athiests these days, happy easter?

MONDAY, APRIL 3rd, 2006

i just wrote a paper about quiznos. hahahaha.
..talk about stupid, i dont't even like subs.

so apparently a guild in WoW held an online funeral for one of their members who died in rl. But i guess a rival guild raided them and killed them all during the funeral. LOL?! then they went and released a video of it. for shame!!
that is horrible, but being the terrible person i am, i laughed

ps. not in relation to anything i posted but,.. people are pretty aggravating, yeah?
i cant stand it.