Do you want to watch a film that was made this decade but looks like something that Ed Wood would of put together? Do you think boring car rides, and stock footage is for you? Do you happen to like clown type things and cannibalism? If you do, then S.I.C.K. is your kind of movie. However if you have any sense of taste at all, then this is a movie to avoid like the plague.
It's very clique, the whole premise of it. Brandon invites an old friend, Mark, with his wife, Susan, and a co-worker, Tracy, to a cabin in the woods. After picking up a hitchhiking whore, they all happily go there. They smoke their weed and tell each other ghost stories. That night, everyone gets laid (including the hitchhiking whore) and in the morning, Susan goes missing. They talk about looking for her and spend more time talking than going. Finally, they go for a look, find nothing, and return back to the house. This is where the crazy clown stalks and terrorizes them. There is a bit of a twist at the end, but by the time you get 1/2 way through this film you’ve figured it out.
Ok, never mind the fact that very little thought was actually put into this movie, but the stock footage just takes up more time than is needed. You see images of birds flying, deer laying in the grass, and lots of trees. Another thing that eats up time was the driving sequence in the beginning in the movie. As I was keeping notes, that long ass driving sequence kept me from having to actually stop the movie. Of course it drags on and on for anyone not busy doing something else. You spend a lot of time with stupid dialog about how everything should be coordinated, and the characters just keep walking to the edge of the woods and back. Yeah, that's a great idea, just what i would do. A person goes missing and you want to just walk to the edge of the woods. Amazing. Do you even have a brain in your head?
Ok, the film quality looks like someone made this with a camcorder back in the 80's, yet it was released (and straight to video I might add) in 2003. You see a lot of things from the killer’s perspective, which is annoying because he's wearing this horrible clown mask. It's horribly shot, like some sort of porno director actually wanted to try his hand at a horror movie. I personally can't believe that this film got an ‘R’ rating, but i guess if you have enough money you can convince even the MPAA to give you a lower rating.
The acting is wretched, completely wretched. Mark is played by an actor that actually played a bit part on “Passions”, the worst soap opera on TV. He was so bad he got a bit part... that should say something! Everyone else is virtually unknown. All of it feels like it was without a script, which makes me question the validity of this being a movie in the first place. Sure, if you give a camera to anyone they can make a movie, but hopefully they would have the sense to try getting some experienced screen actors. Oh, and when i say “experienced screen actors”, I mean someone who wasn't a bit part to a soap opera!
Sure, the gore seems to be enough to turn your stomach, but it's all you get that's decent in this movie. They try the “startle scenes” but aren't at all successful. The only really scary part of this movie is the opening screen on the dvd. I don't know, maybe it's my fear of clowns coupled with the creepy music and the heavy breathing, but it freaked me out. I feel let down. I had some higher expectations with this film with that opener screen. Oh well... That's what I get for listening to a friend’s recommendation for a movie...
As movies go, This was bad... like Last Slumber Party bad. Don't bother with it.
H.O.P.E.L.E.S.S. Rating: 
- Like
My Little Eye, if you got a great comedian group of friends, they may make this movie palatable. I would rather watch this film in a crowd of smart asses than alone.
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