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On a serious note, if anybody knows where to find the following people, please notify me, the FBI, America's Most Wanted, and the Daughters of the American Revolution, in that order. We're trying to find them. Some names may be incomplete, because the suspects are VERY clever.

I knew him, Horatio.

  1. William Wesley Britt aka Lord British, Kathil
    Last seen in Hanau, Germany in 1991. Rumored to be in Greensboro, North Carolina or Fort Benning, Georgia.
  2. William Hutchinson aka Targage the Everliving, The Tin Tyrant, King of Hann, Green Slime, Garbug, The Marquis D.C.
    Last seen in Hanau, Germany in 1991. Rumored to be in Oregon, working as a college student, a nurse, or in a pizza shop.
  3. Cory Flick aka Challerain, the White Wizard
    REVELATION!!! This one has been successfully located. Some criminals tend to be a fearful and cowardly lot. Others are arrogant and return to the scene of the crime. When I noticed this one signed my guestbook, it was easy enough to throw him in the second category and track him down.
  4. David Graham (No known aliases)
    Last confirmed sighting in Fort Monmouth, New Jersey in 1993. Said to have been in Fort Gordon, Georgia, and later in Fort Huachuca, Arizona.
  5. Ben Theis aka The Annihilator, Warp, Gryph
    Last seen in Camp Hovey, Korea in 1993. Rumored to be living in New Jersey, or Wisconson.
  6. Jason Commans aka Cron the Wise, Sauron
    Last seen in Camp Casey, Korea in 1994.
  7. Scott Miosi aka Titian Leafshadow, Guardian of Gorm, Venetian Blindleaf
    REVELATION!!! This one has been successfully located. Thank you for all the helpful tips on tracking him down, and the FBI will be forwarding you your informer bonuses soon.
  8. Dave Ferguson aka Alona Leafshadow the Imprisoned, Nikol Cornerstone, Screaming Statue
    Last seen in Camp Casey, Korea in 1994.
  9. Jimmy Moore aka Ruffian Moonshade, Mellissa Moonshade, Damia Gwynn-Lyon, Raven
    Last seen in Camp Casey, Korea in 1994.
  10. Russell Barnes aka The Gypsy, Sandretta Willis
    Last seen in Camp Casey, Korea in 1994.
  11. Gerald Rock aka Jerica
    Last seen in Camp Casey, Korea in 1994.
    Don't tell me you actually read this far. This is BORING! Go somewhere fun!
  12. Mike Hall aka Death, Sage, Beef, Koriaror, Dick Jones, Blackrome Firefinger
    Last seen in Easton, Pennsylvania in 1989.
    You're STILL reading? You have some major problems, dude.
  13. Dennis Moore aka That Guy With the Weird Suits
    Last seen in Easton, Pennsylvania in 1991. Rumored to be in Pittsburg, PA. Makes sense, no other place would take him.
  14. Kilroy (No known aliases)
    Last seen in Europe circa WW1 or WW2. Rumored to be on a Styx album, and in legal trouble in the future.
  15. Whoever drinks all the milk in the milk carton and then sticks the empty back in the fridge.
    Never, ever seen, but I'm going to kill whoever it is when I find him, her, or it.

Eventually, you might want to wander back to the main page.

Updated 17 Jun 01. Two down...

Notice: I have been hearing rumors about `That Guy With the Weird Suits'. Apparently, a friend of mine (sorta) knows where he might possibly be. I'll have to check into this.


Well, guess the friend is a liar. No further info. (You'd think a guy with a dress sense and weird laugh like he has would be easy to find. He MUST be Pittsburgh.)