| I'm Glad I'm A Woman |
| I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am. I don't live off Butwiser, beer nuts and spam. I don't brag to my buddies about my erections. I won't drive to hell before I ask for directions I don't get wasted at parties, and act like a clown. And I know how to put the damn toilet seat down! I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt. My belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer guy. And I dont' go around "re - adjusting" my crotch. Or yell like Tarzan when my headboard gets a notch. I dont' belch in public, I don't scratch my behind. I'm a woman you see, I'm just not that kind. I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing I don't have body hair, like shag carpeting. It doesn't grow from my ears to cover my back. When I lean over you can't see 3 intches of my crack. And what's on my head don't leave witha comb I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side. I'm a woman, you know I've got far to much pride And honestly I think its a privilege for me, to have these two boobs and squat when I pee. I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball I don't swagger and spit like a neanderthal. I won't tell you my wife just does not understand Or stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band Or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep The screw you, roll over and fall asleep. Ye, I'm so very glad I'm a woman, you see. Forget all about that old penisenvy. I don't long for male bonding. I don't cruise for chicks Join the Hair Club for men or think with my dick. I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful, its true I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!!! |
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