Man Seems to be Unaware of His Ugly Feet

BOULDER, Colorado, April 5, 2002-

Boulder resident Jared Paulo seems completely unaware of his hideous, ugly feet, say neighbors and co-workers.
The problem began five years ago, when the then 20 year old Paulo purchased a pair of Teva sandals to wear on a trip to California.

"And the world's been an uglier place since," says neighbor and self described "smart-alec", Greg Finn. "At first it was like, 'well, Jared wants to be comfortable,' but now it's just too much. I dread the warm weather."
Since returning from that vacation, Paulo has worn a pair of sandals every day during the months of April through September of every year.
"Oh, god," said Cheryll Lind, who works with Paulo at Firmatech Industries Inc. "At first I loved that my boss was laid back about dress codes, I'd always hated working in stuffy environments. But now I'd trade it all to never have to see those blistered toes and cracked nails again. Eww, eww, eww. The first day of spring is like an execution date."
Despite the fact that those around him have such violent reactions to his footwear, Paulo doesn't seem to notice. He's never asked anyone's oppinion of his ugly feet, nor has he ever exercised the courtesy of covering them up in front of others. He reportedly "struts around like the cock of the walk," with his "greasy, hairy hairy dogs out in the open for all to see."
"I know I should just ignore it, right? Just look away?" says Finn. "But Jesus Christ, it's like I'm caught in the ugly tractor beam. As much as it turns my stomach, I have to look. Like Hentai porn."

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