The Star Wars Trilogy: wholesome family entertainment or interstellar filth? Read these lines - actually taken from the movies - and you decide! For extra effect, try reading them in a sultry voice. And take your clothes off first.

  • "Ah yes, a Jedi's weapon. Much like your father's." - Emperor Palpatine, savouring the moment as he meets his new 'apprentice'. (ROTJ)

  • "There's an awful lot of moisture in here." - Han Solo to Princess Leia, while exploring a mysterious cavern. (ESB)

  • "Get in there you big furry oaf. I don't care what you smell." - Han Solo to Chewie, just before the big guy dives in. To the trash compactor on the Death Star. (SW)

  • "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!" - The ever-spunky Princess Leia to her new-found men-friends.

  • "Back door, eh? Good idea." Scoundrel Han Solo considers an alternative form of entry with his cuddly Ewok chums. (ROTJ)

  • "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!" C-3PO, embarrassed at the way he has disappointed his master. (SW)

  • "I have felt it." Darth Vader, 'apparently' referring to a disturbance in The Force. (ESB)

  • "Look at the size of that thing." Wedge, startled by the enormous proportions of something we could mention, but won't. (SW)

  • "You've got something jammed in here real good." (SW) Innocent farmboy Luke Skywalker, while 'cleaning out' R2-D2's 'ports'.

  • "Size matters not! Judge me by my size do you?" (ESB) Yoda, peddling the same argument he's been having in Dagobah night clubs for the last 900 years. (ROTJ)

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