Knights Homage

This hall of the castle was undergoing reconstructive surgery when the workmen were suddenly called away for milk and cookies (they swore it was a Union thing...!). Rest assured they will be back to finish what they started in a day or two....or three...or whatever it takes. (where ARE those whips 'n chains when you really need 'em?)

Thank you for your patience - the Management.

Fortress Horticulture is the home WEB site for the most honorable Knights of Ni!

From time to time, we meet face-to-face at a not-quite-so-round table at the real Fortress Horticulture.

Learn the history behind the name, and what Europeans think of us.

Sir Weasel is the current WEB-lord and maintenance man. He prunes all the roses, too (but he saves all the bugs for me!).

Sir Burners the Brutal - of Castle Pembroke

A fine castle has he! Visit to learn of his exploits and honors. (Just why would a knight prefer carpet bombing to jousting?) A fellow blessed with a good sense of humor, you only need to kill him once or twice to see it in action!

Sir Weasel the Swift - of Castle Elderberry

A swift runner of the flag, a fine shot, and always willing to throw his all into a fight! (Inventor of software for the computer, if not the actual computer itself. Oh, and co-inventor of the dual-line, analog, 67k modem!)

Sir Van Dan the Cunning - of Castle Arrrgh! home of the 1st Tactical Command and Operational Readiness Center for the Knights Who Say Ni!

Blessed with a keen eye and a sharp knife, he'd as soon shoot you as cut your heart out! Your choice, of course.

Sir Toadie the Crazed - of Castle Elbirret

Truly the finest Keeper of the Holy Handgrenade 'er we had. (He invented it, you know.) Entrusted with our most precious weapon, he wields it accordingly. (Watch out! Who's that behind you?)

Sir Winky - of Castle Huntington

Not to be mistaken for Winky Dink, a Saturday cartoon character from the 60's. An aggressive foe, he smiles all the way to your gravesite! (Oh, and the inventor of sounds and shimmering pools on WEB sites, don't 'cha know?)

Sir Bester the Violent - of Castle Babylon

Not to be confused with The Jester over at The Babbling Lion (that's a pub down the way)! Always prepared to poke you in the ribs with a sword, or hand you your head in a basket. Think quickly, lest he decide for you!

Sir Anole the Annoyed - and this be his Castle 'n Keep

Your host and Inn Keeper, here at The Castle. He'll hang from the walls and spy on you, dropping letter bombs or real ones, depending on the circumstances. (Oh, and he invented The Lunch. Yea, that's genuine Vietnamese cuisine on Saturdays. Please be sure to remember and thank him. Oh, and co-inventor of the dual-line, analog, 67k modem, too!)

Sir Super Lou the Painless - of Castle of Bigus Gunus

A finer sense of humor I've never seen behind an assault cannon! I think he even carries spare batteries in his hip pocket. See how funny this Knight of the Ni! really is. But, be sure to laugh at him, and not with him, 'cause that's sure to get him on your case right away! Visit his castle to preview a "skin" he's working on. (He invented them, to be sure!)

Sir Jaster the Just - of Castle Daeval

One of our newer member and a fine addition to the clan, we'll fill in more info about the good Sir Jaster at a later time. Visit his castle to preview a "skin" he's working on. (Inventor of the nifty new site addressing scheme, but not the first to demonstrate it.)

Sir Smokey the Phoenix - of Castle Amsterdam