| "Read more books by yourselves, locked in your rooms" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Love has always been a problem" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "I think I need a wife" |
| --Somjen Frazer |
| "She keeps using makeup instead of makedown" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "I wanna go bowling with the guys Tuesday night, she wants to do this; I never get to go bowling" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "I wanna be ME!!!" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "She just sits there like a lump: I love this woman." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Problems in the world because people don't read litereature aloud enough" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Now I'm going to talk dirty for a minute." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "I'm so impotent I think I'm just gonna go eat worms, or not." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Let's say I'm right." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Let's pretend you're one of the great geniuses of your time" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Whenever you see a ghost, you've got a problem." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "When I first met the woman I married, she was in the 3rd grade...I was in the 3rd grade too at the time." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Shakespeare's generally in favor of sex...Dr. Miller is opposed, always opposed" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "As I've gotten older sometimes death hasn't seemed to be the worst of possibilities...especially if it's someone else's" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Our love is different from dogs'" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "The cool will inherit the earth and you shall be landless. " |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "I am immortal. I am invulnerable." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "In the past I've taught some students who've had good habits." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "I will give this talk many times this semester. You will pay no attention at all." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "After that, we're going to commit sin." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "He's a mathematician and a surgeon, no wonder he's tasteless." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "I'm not opposed to breaking up and I'm not really in favor of the other either." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "We know what love is because we don't know what love is." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Now let's talk dirty." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "You and I are lonely, because we're discrete, seperate glops of grease." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "The duties of a knight were to slay dragons, rescue fair damsels in distress, and kill trolls." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "See, I can make this class so relevant, can I not?" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "I'm not a very profound man. I'm really a shallow kind of guy." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "We expect moral outrage from someone standing in the great sweaty hand of God. Well maybe God doesn't sweat; that was kind of a cheap shot at God" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "If you smite a king, you want to smite him dead." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Sometimes we know things that make it impossible to act once we know them." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "'I don't even know anything about girls,' he says. 'I'm such a nice guy.'" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "One of the great lies mathematics tells is that people exist in units greater than one." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Promiscuity is bad in a monogamous society." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "I like consonants, there's more of them." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "All the quotes will be short, because I'm not a very good typist." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "I think when we put the threesome together we get a slightly different feel." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Now go and sin no more." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Who said that?" |
| --Dahl Clark |
| "I did." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Thank god I was never sent to school to be flogged into following the style of a fool" |
| --William Blake (1757-1827) |
| "There is no genius in school." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "My sister was innocent and DUMB" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "All of my life's luck, I used up in those 59 days." |
| --Dr. Miller, on his last days in the army (1966, South Korea) |
| "Nothing has worked right in my life since." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Life is too large to be trapped by reason." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Wordsworth is the father of all hippies." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Does this make sense? Not much, who cares, it's just english class." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "James Joyce calls it the agon-bite of enwit." |
| --Dr. Miller, on guilt |
| "I don't like it at all. I want my mommy." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "I may be the Prom King of North America." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "I was always a back row kind of guy." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "I think she seated us according to ability."" |
| --Dr. Miller, explaining why he sat in the back of the class |
| "The only thing in my favor was that I was such a nerdy kid, it was impossible for her to believe I had done anything" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "There's the disturbing sense that she's ignorant of sexual relations." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "Why do grooms carry brides over thresholds? It's this whole sense of being invited in. In this case, evil is being carried over the threshold. Hopefully brides don't fit into this category; none of mine have."" |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "He does what all young men do when they get dumped. He starts to write poetry." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "They lived close to death and religion and sin. Their music is ohhh... kinda like going to church." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "And now you too can triumph swimmingly at cocktail parties." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "You are well on your way to becoming drunken intellectuals, if you read much more of this." |
| --Dr. Miller |
| "School teachers are so dumb." |
| --Dr. Miller |