Sing a song of sixpence,
A pocketful of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds,
Baked in a pie.

I baked them in a crust,
Of flaky tender pies,
Because their chirping woke me
Before the sun did rise.
© Frannie (Frannie516@aol.com)









The weekly bridge party was at Tommy Toad’s house this week. Leo Dandelion was the odd man out, and was kibitzing. Leo was not being a good kibitzer. He was moving about the table, looking for an interesting hand to kibitz, and dragging Tommy Toad’s stool along with him. Even worse, Leo lit up one of those ‘funny’ cigarettes. There is little more disconcerting for a serious bridge player than watching a Dandelion puff on a Toad’s stool when you’re trying to play a doubled 3NT game. Leo was not invited back the next week.
© Paul (AHikingDude@aol.com)







There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children, she didnt know what to do,
That was before birth control,
So all she could do was cry Boo-Hoo
© Marilyn J(Ibem@aol.com)















Verla was vague about her vast array of makeups because venders vetted her long ago, and Verla was their go-to girl. So vamp Verla did become, buying all and using none. Then one day Verla did cry, for her cat was squashed on the road. Therefore, to look better she did makeup use, and when she went to work, Kabuki theater, she was at its worst. However, Vague Vera did then did get mad and quit work, and so she was soon broke. Then upon an idea she did hit, so she her own labels make. She did reliable all of her makeup, as Vamp Verla’s Vertigo. Now she is rich, and one stuck up bitch. She smiles and grins, for no makeup does she use. In addition, she is happy too, for Venn Volks she did marry. Now they are the parents of Vick, Vanck, Vock, Vim, and Boo Boo.
© Tom (tomWyoming@aol.com)






Cornflakes in my bowl
Little dolphins swimming
A ten second lap is their goal,
The milk is overbrimming.

Dolphins, dolphins in my bowl,
Energetically swimming.
Dodging cornflakes for their goal,
The milk is overbrimming.

Perhaps, some day, I’ll break my fast
Without dolphin Olympic.
Watching the dolphin swimming past,
His backstroke’s not authentic!

I gave him two points for style,
For his double back flip.
And I must pause, for now I’ll
Wipe the splashed milk from my lip.

Every day’s a new adventure
With the little dolphins here.
I mention this in the event you’re
Wondering what’s moving in your beer.
© Paul (AHikingDude@aol.com)









Jack and Jill went up the hill
To frolic in the hay
Mother called them in for lunch
And ruined their lovely day.

Jack and Jill did not want lunch,
They wanted fun and play,
But mother was wise, she did surmise,
That trouble was on its way.

So Jack and Jill were grounded,
No more fun upon the hill,
The next time Mom needed water,
The pail herself she'd fill.
© Frannie (Frannie516@aol.com)










She was a compulsive collector of belly button lint. It was very difficult to get at it on her regular job as an attorney. It became her life's mission to collect more belly button lint than anyone in the world. Her hands would shake when she thought about all the belly button lint she just couldn't get at. It reached critical mass and she knew she must put herself in a position that would make it a simple task. She sold her mansion and her boat and her Lexus. She went to nursing school and graduated summa cum laude. She applied for a job in the E.R. on the graveyard shift. HALLELUJAH!! At last she was in the best place in the world to keep her collecting skills up in the fast lane! She would buy her own Q-Tips and little plastic bags to keep her treasures in. This was the best of all possible worlds for her.

And then, she discovered TOE JAM!!
© Swampetta (SWAMPETTA@aol.com)






Attitude Problem

A gobbet of spit
Flew past my right ear.
I’d chosen to sit
Just a bit too near.

The camel looked on,
Pursing its big lips.
Swiftly, I was gone,
Avoiding gross drips.

And if you should go
To your local zoo,
I think you should know
He’ll spit at you, too.

He has attitude
Problems, that is clear.
The reason he’s rude
Is that he is here.

He likes desert sand
And tropical air,
And can’t understand
Why he isn’t there.
©RickMack (jotoma@bellsouth.net)








A house on stilts.
A Scotsman's kilts.
Both are open to air.
"Duncan where's your trousers?"
© Swampetta (SWAMPETTA@aol.com)









Cherry Plum bought a car that was a lemon. She tried to return it to the dealership, but they refused to take responsibility for its poor running condition. Cherry was not one to mess with when she thought someone had cheated her. The dealership started having problems with vandalism. First, the salespeople arrived at the lot to find that all the cars had been pelted with eggs. The next day windows were broken on the storefront by having apples thrown through them. One morning they arrived to find that all the advertising balloons had been released, and fruit-of-the-loom shorts had been hung from the flagpole. Cherry was very careful not to be caught. The investigation into the crimes, came up fruitless.
© Sharon (Sunyskys43@aol.com)

















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