beginnersguide

We've found that quite often newbies to the BEWB get quite lost upon arrival. Which makes perfect sense, because we get really confusing sometimes.

This guide is a list of terms and inside jokes that one who is new to the Gutter may want to know about.

Gutter furnishings: Upon moving into the Gutter, we brought a number of accoutrements, including sever hottubs, mudbaths, and just about anything we can get our greedy little fingers on.

SDDS: Stands for Sudden Drool Deprivation Syndrome. This is a disease in which the patient is deprived of their body's supply of saliva over a very short period of time. Symptoms include shortness of breath, gasping, choking, and, of course, overproduction of drool. Causes are yet clearly unknown, but it's been found that SDDS most often occurs while watching men (mostly British) in various films.

EMT's: Our EMT's are named Heath and Fred. They're there for sudden attacks of SDDS. Though it seems that they often make SDDS much worse...

Gutter Hospital: This is run by Dr. Matt Kendal. He's there to cure our various woes. We think he's getting a little suspicious about the wounds being self-inflicted.

Gutter Positions (other than royalty):
Gutter Vampire: Spike (James Marster of Buffy fame)
Gutter Archer: Legolas (Orlando Bloom of Lord of the Rings fame)

Kasey's Cloning Machine:
Duchess Kasey is in charge of running the cloning machine. To prevent the Gutter from resorting to anarchy, we simply clone our guys. However, it's been proven that the genuine article is always the best.

Assorted Foods:
References to Jello, whipped cream, and various chocolate products are common. No explanation necessary <eg>

Gutter Capers:
Mostly out of boredom, a sort of script will be devised, telling tales of adventures in the Gutter. The subject matter varies, but they always seem to have the Court getting in some kind of trouble. Cases of SDDS are common, especially in the earlier tales from the Gutter.

Off Topics:
This can range from current events to gushing out hearts out. Let's face it, there's not much in the line of news for Terence, so we tend to stray from the subject at hand. This is where the OT guys come in. We've gushed everyone from one side of the world to the other, from age 12 to 50. Yeah, we're that obsessive.

Trekkie-B5/ U.S.A.-Canada Rivalry:
The Queen likes B5. The Princess likes Trek. We frequently clash. In a good-natured kind of way, of course! Also, we U.S. girls tend to josh the Canucks about being a little slow. But it's all in good fun!

Queen Sarah--::coughsputter:: SLOW?? A call to arms! SQUIRRELS, ABOOT FACE!! Hehehe...

Gutter Mafia:
Well, this all started as we were backing up poor Lady Melissa after some chick did a very nasty thing. So, well, we created a Gutter Mafia, to protect the members of the Gutter family. It's a bad thing to insult the family. We gots connections. You be sleepin' wit da fishes if ya makes da Donna (Princess Susie) mad. Kapish?

Reading this guide does not mean that you're fully equipped to be in on everything at the BEWB. Some of our stuff is just *way* too weird for someone who wasn't "there" to get. This will hopefully just lessen the shock.