Because They Can

"Great," John sighed as he sat on the bed, exhausted.. "Asgard. Just what we needed--pantsless aliens running around the galaxy."

"They're not exactly pantsless with those suits on." Rodney sat beside John and leaned, pressing his shoulder against John's. "And anyway, it's not like they have genitals to cover up."

John shuddered. "See, I hate that."

"What? They don't need them in order to reproduce."

"My point exactly. It's damn creepy."

Rodney scowled. "Are you saying the Asgard should be able to have sex?"

"No. Jeeze, Rodney, no. I don't even want to think about that." John fell back to lie on the bed, wondering if he could ever scrub that image from his brain. "Ow."

"What?" Rodney asked.

John sat back up. "Nothing." He stared at the floor, avoiding looking at Rodney because he knew Rodney would be looking at him in that way.

"Sheppard."

John let out a sigh, tired enough to be easily defeated and Rodney was certainly going to find out anyway. "It was just some glass."

"Where?" Rodney demanded.

"My back."

Rodney snapped his fingers. "Come on, come on, let me see."

Rolling his eyes, John slipped the shirt off over his head and twisted away from Rodney. "See, it's nothing. Just a bunch of little cuts."

"Oh," Rodney said softly. "No, that's not nothing."

A brush of lips on the back of his neck, and then Rodney's fingertips drifted across his shoulder. "It's fine," John said. It really was, especially with Rodney touching him, hands surprisingly gentle.

"No, it's not fine." Rodney said, pressing his nose into John's hair, hand sliding down over John's ribs to rest on John's waist. "I can't believe you blew up the control room. I should have been there."

"Rodney--"

"They made us activate the stupid device," Rodney said, pulling back. "And I knew something bad would happen but didn't know what but then I did know and they wouldn't let us shut it down and it almost killed everyone here and then I thought they killed Daniel and--

John placed his hand over Rodney's, stopping him in mid-diatribe. "Kind of a bad day, huh?"

"Yes?"

John shifted around to face Rodney, who was in the full bloom of distress, all big eyes and sad mouth and hunched shoulders. "Me too," John said.

And the worst of it was seeing Rodney get snatched away, right before his eyes, by scarily invincible aliens and not being able to do a damn thing about it.

After a moment Rodney nodded. "Right."

"Hey, it's all good now though."

"Of course. Except that we don't have a control room or a gate and the shield emitters are broken and the Daedalus doesn't have any working weapons and," Rodney paused to take a breath, "Asgards."

"Without pants."

"No, like I said, they--okay. Fine," Rodney huffed. "Without pants."

"So, you know what we should do?"

Rodney shook his head. "Buy them some pants?"

"Nope." John patted Rodney's thigh, then stroked it meaningfully. "Have sex."

Rodney stared for a moment. Then brightened. "Because they can't?"

"Exactly." John grinned. "And we can."

"It's like...a celebration of our genitals."

John snorted. "Uh huh."

"I like that," Rodney said, looking thoughtful.

He was actually looking a little too thoughtful, so John grabbed Rodney and kissed him, then kissed him some more because pantsless aliens tried to steal Rodney away from him which was absolutely the wrongest thing in the universe, but now they were going to have sex, which might be the rightest thing in the universe. John insisted he had to be on top, because you know, his back with the cuts, and Rodney didn't complain at all, he just stripped his clothes off and handed John the lube and spread his legs wide and took John in and held him tight.

And afterward, as they lay sweaty and breathless and sated, John was certain that they had made extremely good use of their genitals indeed.

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