The Founding Members of the Breakfast Club:

Men with a Mission


The Story


The Breakfast Club began when The Blade began his job as a television producer. He soon became fast friends with Cody, his director, Sam, the CG operator (the guy who puts the words on the TV screen), Nathan, the Dancin' Cameraman, and Joe, the Turbo-Engineer.

As weeks passed, and Cody pulled The Blade's ass out of many a behind-the-scenes crack, The Blade began bringing beer to drink with Cody after the shows. Soon, this evolved to include Sam and Nathan, and developed into a weekly bullshit-and-drinking session. In the years that have followed, the Breakfast Club has expanded and evolved, as this page will attest.

Meet the Founding Members!


Click on the photos to see a bigger picture with accompanying audio...

THE BLADE is an angry white boy who made good. He is the keeper of The Beast, which is the Club's beverage of choice, as well as the keeper of this webpage. He never discloses the origin of his nickname. Among his quirks: he once owned not one, but TWO 1978 Lincoln Continentals ("The Tank," and "The Pimpmobile," respectively); his tantrums during and after shows are legendary (he's set distance records for kicking garbage cans); and no, he's not going to cut that damned hair.





CODY is possibly the most talented and underappreciated wind-passer...er, DIRECTOR on this planet. He's a native son from the red clay of Georgia, and once made his ballgown from the curtains in his home. Cody has been known to refer to men with small penises as "tater tots." When he's not at work, Cody likes to ride his bike and seduce unsuspecting ho's over the internet (often simultaneously).



NATHAN, THE DANCIN' CAMERAMAN... What can we say about this freak? Nathan likes to help little children try on shoes. He has been banned from singing at at least one local bar. His flatulence was used by our forces in the Gulf War. He's VERY WRONG, and all parents should keep their children away from him. Nathan was a staple of our show, dancing on- and off-camera, with the rhythm of a cantaloupe. He also played Elvis in our very own movie, ELVIS AND AIR FORCE ONE. Nathan now resides in the back room of a children's shoe store in some desolate mall populated only by bikers, pirates, and men who dress like ladies.



SAM no longer works with us, but he still manages to drop by from time to time and harass people. Sam has recently developed an eating disorder. He claims to spend 45 minutes wiping. Sam and The Blade have invented a game called "The Circle of Jackie Chan." Sam left his job with the Breakfast Club to go work with a bunch of nuns. He has been known to listen to "boogie-woogie." He's a big Sinatra fan. He sometimes drives an old Woody that he calls "The Love Wagon." Sam also likes hard candy.



JOE, THE TURBO-ENGINEER is one of two Breakfast Club members who has never had a beer after a show (only because he's still on the clock). The television series MACGYVER was loosely based on Joe's life; he once repaired a satellite truck minutes before airtime, using only popsicle sticks and spit. Joe is also the only member of the Club to have been arrested a few feet from the station while on his way to a 4th of July party. Joe once woke up in his car in a Pizza Hut parking lot at 9am after a night of what he calls, "innocent fun."



Click here to meet the rest of the Club!

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