The once was a rubber band who was not like any other rubber band. She was a brown rubber band and that was not it. She was a rubber band that was lonely. In the vast land of rubber bands, there was no other rubber band she could relate to. She would sit on her rubber band house and stir up into the rubber band stars and question her excites. She would ask the fake rubber band god why she was put here to suffer so. Endless summers went by, and no answers came. So one day she decided to venture out and find the one person who had motivated her like non other. It was a book she had read as a child rubber band; the story of the boy who cared not only for the living, but for also the inanimate. He would give her what she had been looking for so long. His name was Kaid Kcin.
All the other rubber bands laughed at her and told her she was a fool, that Kaid Kcin was not real, that he was nothing more than a children’s tale to keep them off the crack. The rain poured as she took one last look back at the place she’d called home for so long, and then never looked back again. And thus she went forth across the pits of Hidgid where the musky arm pit hairs sold there goody-goody pudding. And cross the Endless-fields-of-no-return-excited-the-one-you’d-find-on-the-other-side-of-that- big-rock. And into the Blue Forest where the tree birds had massive nonsexual orgies, because they were all fundamentalists. And pass the sea of sand stone pee that no one would drink from but if one did it would grant them endless life. It tasted like katsup….no really cats_Up. She fought with those who were only named carl with a lower case “c”. And it was in the garden of no tumors that she raised for 30 days and 30 nights. There she lived off of the torques tomatoes that housed the spitterspider that spit tea from one of the last horsemen’s blood. She walked across the green sea of great envy, and danced with the pirates before gutting their tummies and spanking their monkeys. (They were going to pillage her anyways, damn pirates.) She found the kingdom of sparrows not long after giving smack to the Fisherding. Time went by, and the years all ran together like pigs semen in a portside heavy boat. Her friends back home had forgot all about her, that is if she had had some friends back home.
She had traveled a greater distance than any other rubber band had ever traveled when she finally stood outside the home of non other Kaid Kcin. There she stood for hours in a puddle as the rain continued to pour hoping that at any minute he would immerge from with in the far to heavy door. Hope was fleeting, and the taunts of the rubber bands back home that he did not excited ran through her phantom mind. But that’s when he walked out, the love of her life, and the one who would love her back. The man who loved inanimate objects as if they were real. He was tall, and was boyish handsome. He looked down at the rubber band in the rain and smiled. But continued on his was and got into his automobile. He’s just warming it up for me, that’s all. The rubber band thought, but then he began pulling out in the other direction. She was crashed, not physically by the car I must stress. But rather her spirit was crashed. He hadn’t ran to her, and scooped her out of the rain. He hadn’t dried her off, and held her in her palms telling her everything was going to be alright. He was leaving her. How far she had traveled, to only learn that Kaid Kcin was nothing but a fraud. She was now more alone than she had ever been before.
But then it happened. The car stopped, and the door swung open. And just when you’d think he would have ran to her and scooped her up, he did just that. He scooped her up from the puddle she had laid in for such a long time, all her life. He scooped her up, and took her into his palms drying her off. He took her into his automobile and kissed her. He was the exactly and even more so as caring as he had been portrayed in those stories long ago. Riding long in the parting rain, he took her someplace new place where she had never been before. A place where she would never be alone again. And they lived happily ever after, or at least they did until Kaid put the rubber band in the jar with the rest of the rubber bands. Thee End!