Subject: Be Careful What
You Upgrade!
Date: Mon, 8 Nov 1999 00:12:16 -0700
Dear Tech Support:
I am writing this letter as a last resort.
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program
began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No
mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into
all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other
system activity.
Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken
Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of
my other favorite applications.
I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend
7.0, but uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!
Thanks, Fred
Dear Fred:
This is a very common problem that men
complain about but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES &
ENTERTAINMENT" program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed
by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or
purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0
or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual
under "Warnings - Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just
deal with the situation.
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might
also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You
must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of
their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any
case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately you will have to
give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system
will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high
maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I
recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is
likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck.
Tech Support
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