Davido was strapping young lad who enjoyed life’s finer side which to him was making other peoples life a living hell. One day three clever young lads created a website. Unfortunately for Davido this website insulted him and his family. Rather than challenge the lads who made it to a duel he just decided to sue them instead. Davido was laughed out of the court house due to the fact that no one liked him and his lawyer, who was also his uncle, was really a toilet cleaner from Swansea. Davido went home in a bit of a huff and puff and began plotting his revenge which involved spreading unlikely rumours about other people at his school. These rumours frankly sucked and Davido made them more aggressive and harsh. One day another young boy called Dale approached Davido and told him his rumours were rubbish. Davido decided to sue Dale for slander. Once again Davido and his toilet cleaning lawyer went to court and once again they were pelted with apples and tomatoes and used condoms which Davido enjoyed. But rather than making Davodio less eager to sue people became obsessed with suing everyone for everything. Children were sued for splashing him with puddles, old folks were taken to court for making a smell near him and even the P.E. teacher was sued for making the fat bastard run. One day Davido was watching a production of Guys and Dolls and a song came on. This song was called “Sue Me” so Davido did. After his latest loss to Skipton children’s theatre, Davido went home and fell asleep for 100 years. When he woke up, however, he found him self being sued by Disney for infringement on copy write.
The End
Guide To Sex
1. Find someone willing to have it off with you. That nice looking doll should do. Once you’ve got her home place you’re mouth on her back and inflate.
2. If you can’t afford a doll. Internet porn is always good for a solo flight. Make sure you drug addict mother doesn’t catch you as she might decide to join in.
3. If you like pain, then scorch your own nipples. If people ask you what happened say it was your girl friend (see Pedders guide to making people think you have a girlfriend).
4. Send pictures of yourself into a porn magazine. Unfortunately if none of the premium magazines will accept your pictures there is a solution. Wildlife magazines!
5. Animals are always good for a shag. Get your Cat and make yourself feel gooooooood.
6. Feeling down in the dumps? Then talk dirty to yourself on MSN. Oh the fun you'll have.
7. Feelind 'exotic' then experiment with various vegtables and fruits. Who needs Ann Summers when you've got the grocers.